Dirty Red
Page 45
When his car lights disappear, I open the freezer and pull out two bags of frozen vegetables. Carrying them to the table, I poke holes in the plastic with my finger and start thumbing peas into my mouth. There are things I could do to make the situation better. Katine takes her kids to Mommy & Me classes. They sit in circles and sing and bang f**king tambourines. I could do that.
The doorbell rings. I shove a handful of lima beans into my mouth and dance toward the door. Maybe, Caleb has changed his mind already.
My husband is not standing on the doorstep. I eye the man who is.
“What do you want?”
“I came to see if you were all right.”
“Why wouldn’t I be all right?” I snap. I make to close the door, but he pushes past me and walks into the foyer.
“You shouldn’t be here.” My words might as well be vapor. They don’t reach him, or he has his own agenda, per usual.
He looks over his shoulder at me, his smirk so familiar I feel my vertigo slip.
“Of course I should be here. I’m checking up on my sister-in-law. It’s the family thing to do, especially since my brother has left you.”
I throw the door closed and the pictures on the wall rattle.
“He hasn’t left me, you abhorrent prick.” I march past him and sit at the table with my peas.
He strolls in a moment later and starts examining the photos on the wall like he’s never seen them. I eat my peas one by one and watch him.
Finally, he sits down across from me, folding his hands on the tabletop.
“What did you do this time?”
I look away from the smug expression on his face. “I didn’t do anything. Everything is fine. He hasn’t left me.”
“I heard they passed you up for the Mommy of the Year award.”
I bite the insides of my cheek and refuse to respond. Seth gets up and ambles over to the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a finger of Caleb’s Scotch.
“If you keep it up, my baby brother might actually file the papers this time. A man can only take so much of your never-ending antics.”
I throw him a dirty look. “And then what, Seth? You move in and take over his life?”
This time I’ve thrown him off balance. He lifts the glass to his lips, never breaking eye contact with me. Unlike his brother’s, Seth’s eyes are grey. At the moment, I can almost see the smoke coming out of them.
“Did I hit a nerve, big brother? Wanting what Caleb has again?”
I stand up and make to walk past him, but he grabs my upper arm. I struggle to free myself, but he squeezes until I still.
His mouth is next to my ear. “Maybe I should tell him that I’ve already had what’s his.”
I yank myself free.
“Get out of my house.”
He sets his glass down and winks at me, heading for the door. “I think I’ll go visit my baby niece today. Buh-bye, Leah.”
The door closes. “Son of a bitch,” I say. I mean this literally. I march back to the kitchen and pick up the phone. I needed to get out, do something, but ... not something destructive. I pass by Katine’s name and pause over Sam’s.
“What’s up, g*y man?” I say into the receiver.
“That’s kind of offensive, Leah.”
“I was thinking we could do a little shopping today. Maybe lunch?”
“Just because I’m g*y doesn’t mean I’m going to be your flaming sidekick.”
“Oh, come on. You like wine! We could get some wine … go to Armani…”
“I’m busy today,” he says. “I have to run errands.”
“I’ll come with you. Come pick me up.”
He sighs. “All right. But, you better be ready when I honk.”
“You will come to the door like a gentleman,” I say, before hanging up.
I go upstairs to change and come back downstairs just in time to hear the obnoxious wail of the horn on his Jeep.
I sit on the couch and smooth out my dress. I will not be summoned outside. I wait for a minute or two, expecting to hear his knock, but instead, I hear the Jeep pulling out of the driveway. Before he can leave, I jump up and race outside.
“You’re such an ass**le,” I say, throwing myself into the front seat. He pulls a face at me to show his displeasure.
“I’m not playing games with you, Leah. Don’t you get tired of always trying to win?”
“No,” I snap. “That would make me a loser.”
He shakes his head and turns up the music to drown out anything else I might want to say. I sit quietly and smoke. I don’t know where we are going, but I’m glad to be out of the house that’s saturated with way too many memories. I want … I need to be Caleb-free for a few hours. Get back to my roots.
I turn down the radio. Fuck Coldplay. What the hell type of spell do they have on everyone? Artsy fartsy juju. When Caleb comes home I’m going to make him throw away all of their CDs.
“Let’s do something fun.”
Sam runs a hand down his face. “I will take you home right now, and you can sit in your big, empty house and stew about your small, empty life. Do you understand?”
“God, you’re a killjoy.” I pluck a piece of tobacco from my tongue and flick it out of the Jeep.
His words hurt me. Sam is a straight shooter, but right now I need to be coddled and told that I’m pretty.
Ten minutes later, we pull into the parking lot of a Wal-Mart.
My feet, which are resting on the dash, immediately come down. “Oh, hell no! I am not going in there.”
He shrugs and gets out of the car. “Sam!” I call after him. “Wal-Mart gives me hives.”
After a few seconds, I scramble out of the car and chase after him. I follow him to the back of the store where he throws a dozen green light bulbs into a cart and wheels maniacally toward the food section.
“Why do you need all of those Perriers?” I watch as he loads bottle after bottle into the cart, arranging them along the bottom so they won’t break.
“They’re for Cammie,” he says.
My eyes bug. ”You — are you … do you have to take them to her?”
“Yes, we’re going there next.”
I skip behind him in a panic as he makes his way toward the register. “Can you drop me at home first?”
The last thing I want to do is see that smug blonde face of hers. Bitch.
The doorbell rings. I shove a handful of lima beans into my mouth and dance toward the door. Maybe, Caleb has changed his mind already.
My husband is not standing on the doorstep. I eye the man who is.
“What do you want?”
“I came to see if you were all right.”
“Why wouldn’t I be all right?” I snap. I make to close the door, but he pushes past me and walks into the foyer.
“You shouldn’t be here.” My words might as well be vapor. They don’t reach him, or he has his own agenda, per usual.
He looks over his shoulder at me, his smirk so familiar I feel my vertigo slip.
“Of course I should be here. I’m checking up on my sister-in-law. It’s the family thing to do, especially since my brother has left you.”
I throw the door closed and the pictures on the wall rattle.
“He hasn’t left me, you abhorrent prick.” I march past him and sit at the table with my peas.
He strolls in a moment later and starts examining the photos on the wall like he’s never seen them. I eat my peas one by one and watch him.
Finally, he sits down across from me, folding his hands on the tabletop.
“What did you do this time?”
I look away from the smug expression on his face. “I didn’t do anything. Everything is fine. He hasn’t left me.”
“I heard they passed you up for the Mommy of the Year award.”
I bite the insides of my cheek and refuse to respond. Seth gets up and ambles over to the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a finger of Caleb’s Scotch.
“If you keep it up, my baby brother might actually file the papers this time. A man can only take so much of your never-ending antics.”
I throw him a dirty look. “And then what, Seth? You move in and take over his life?”
This time I’ve thrown him off balance. He lifts the glass to his lips, never breaking eye contact with me. Unlike his brother’s, Seth’s eyes are grey. At the moment, I can almost see the smoke coming out of them.
“Did I hit a nerve, big brother? Wanting what Caleb has again?”
I stand up and make to walk past him, but he grabs my upper arm. I struggle to free myself, but he squeezes until I still.
His mouth is next to my ear. “Maybe I should tell him that I’ve already had what’s his.”
I yank myself free.
“Get out of my house.”
He sets his glass down and winks at me, heading for the door. “I think I’ll go visit my baby niece today. Buh-bye, Leah.”
The door closes. “Son of a bitch,” I say. I mean this literally. I march back to the kitchen and pick up the phone. I needed to get out, do something, but ... not something destructive. I pass by Katine’s name and pause over Sam’s.
“What’s up, g*y man?” I say into the receiver.
“That’s kind of offensive, Leah.”
“I was thinking we could do a little shopping today. Maybe lunch?”
“Just because I’m g*y doesn’t mean I’m going to be your flaming sidekick.”
“Oh, come on. You like wine! We could get some wine … go to Armani…”
“I’m busy today,” he says. “I have to run errands.”
“I’ll come with you. Come pick me up.”
He sighs. “All right. But, you better be ready when I honk.”
“You will come to the door like a gentleman,” I say, before hanging up.
I go upstairs to change and come back downstairs just in time to hear the obnoxious wail of the horn on his Jeep.
I sit on the couch and smooth out my dress. I will not be summoned outside. I wait for a minute or two, expecting to hear his knock, but instead, I hear the Jeep pulling out of the driveway. Before he can leave, I jump up and race outside.
“You’re such an ass**le,” I say, throwing myself into the front seat. He pulls a face at me to show his displeasure.
“I’m not playing games with you, Leah. Don’t you get tired of always trying to win?”
“No,” I snap. “That would make me a loser.”
He shakes his head and turns up the music to drown out anything else I might want to say. I sit quietly and smoke. I don’t know where we are going, but I’m glad to be out of the house that’s saturated with way too many memories. I want … I need to be Caleb-free for a few hours. Get back to my roots.
I turn down the radio. Fuck Coldplay. What the hell type of spell do they have on everyone? Artsy fartsy juju. When Caleb comes home I’m going to make him throw away all of their CDs.
“Let’s do something fun.”
Sam runs a hand down his face. “I will take you home right now, and you can sit in your big, empty house and stew about your small, empty life. Do you understand?”
“God, you’re a killjoy.” I pluck a piece of tobacco from my tongue and flick it out of the Jeep.
His words hurt me. Sam is a straight shooter, but right now I need to be coddled and told that I’m pretty.
Ten minutes later, we pull into the parking lot of a Wal-Mart.
My feet, which are resting on the dash, immediately come down. “Oh, hell no! I am not going in there.”
He shrugs and gets out of the car. “Sam!” I call after him. “Wal-Mart gives me hives.”
After a few seconds, I scramble out of the car and chase after him. I follow him to the back of the store where he throws a dozen green light bulbs into a cart and wheels maniacally toward the food section.
“Why do you need all of those Perriers?” I watch as he loads bottle after bottle into the cart, arranging them along the bottom so they won’t break.
“They’re for Cammie,” he says.
My eyes bug. ”You — are you … do you have to take them to her?”
“Yes, we’re going there next.”
I skip behind him in a panic as he makes his way toward the register. “Can you drop me at home first?”
The last thing I want to do is see that smug blonde face of hers. Bitch.
