Discovering Me
Page 27
“You think you love her, huh?”
I do love her. I have for a long time. Do I know if it is the once in a lifetime love I’ve always been looking for? No, I don’t know that. I do know it’s a love I want to explore beyond friendship.
“I’ve always loved her in a way,” I say quietly. I’m not ashamed of my feelings. I’ve always been the more open brother of the club, but I don’t need anyone knowing my personal fucking business. “Am I in love with her? I don’t know, but I know it’s a love I want the chance at. Does that make sense?”
Over a year ago, I wouldn’t even be asking my brother this question, but he is married now with a baby on the way. For the first time, he is in love and would lay down his life for his wife.
“It makes sense. Now, if you said some shit like that before I met Angel, I’d laugh in your face, brother, you fuckin’ know it, but now, I’d die for that woman like I’d die for one of you.”
Everything is messed up in my head. The what ifs and what I might not be able to say to Piper if we don’t find her push every other thought from my mind.
Shit! That isn’t an option I am willing to explore.
“I’m losing my shit here, Prez. Losing my fuckin’ shit.” I light a smoke, take a large drag inward, and allow the smoke to fill my empty lungs. It calms the shakes the rack my body from the anger.
“Honestly, you’re doin’ a fuckin’ bang up job keepin’ it held together.” Braxxon sighs. “I suspect that means you’re gonna turn into a fuckin’ hurricane soon enough.”
A fucking hurricane won’t have shit on me if I don’t find my girl soon. I’m going to rip through Jamaica, Nevada like a fucking exploding volcano if I don’t start getting answers or clues as to where Piper is.
“Juan needs to hurry the fuck up,” I growl and stub out my cigarette. Fucking stupid ass nicotine isn’t doing the job now that my mind is thinking of all the possible outcomes. “I don’t know how much longer I can sit here and do absolutely fuckin’ nothin’, brother. I don’t.”
Pyro takes a seat on the other side of me, and Braxxon lowers his shades over his eyes, gives me one more bro pat, stands, and walks off.
“I have no doubt in my mind that Piper will make it out of this. Her friend, on the other hand…” Pyro trails off, shaking his head back and forth. We all seem to be doing that a lot lately.
I want to lash out at my patch brother and ask how the fuck does he know she’ll make it out of this okay. They don’t know Piper like I do. None of them do. She struggled and dug deep to get past the shit that happened to her, but as a human, I am trying to think about the girl, Jinx, as well. She is as straight as they come, an honest to god good girl, and her only hope for survival is to be as strong as I pray Piper is being.
“Pyro, this shit is so fucked up. She was taken right from our fuckin’ gates with over two hundred motherfuckers here!” I pick up my girl’s gun and start to clean it, hoping it cools me down some.
“That’s part of why this is burnin’ you up, brother. She was stolen right out from under our noses. I get it,” he says.
He gets it? He doesn’t get fucking shit. He lost Lana, yeah, I understand that much, but they fought back. Piper and Jinx couldn’t fight back. They had rags over their faces in the matter of seconds. My girl would have kicked and screamed for help if she had been granted only a few more milliseconds.
“I can’t talk about this anymore, brother. I can’t,” I grit through my teeth as I scrub the barrel of Piper’s gun.
They have only a few more hours before I paint this fucking city blood red.
***
Chapter Sixteen
Piper
My stomach grumbles, and I know we’re beyond the full day mark now. Our bodies are becoming slack of energy, and I know dehydration is close by. If we do not get some liquids in us, we are going to be in some trouble. They have not brought us anything to eat, either. This tells me they don’t care if we live or die. It also means we were a warning of what is to come if the brothers don’t give these guys whatever it is that they want. This is a further example of why I wish Sniper would be more forthright with me when it comes down to club business.
My bladder feels full, but it isn’t. I am not peeing, so it could either be from the stress, or we have been here longer than my body and brain can process.
“Piper…” Jinx whispers. “Are you awake?”
I roll over to my other side and face her in the dark room. “I am,” I whisper back.
“I’m really cold,” she says with her teeth chattering together.
It is sad that I am cold, too, but I respond to it as if I am used to it, proof of how long I went mistreated in captivity.
“You’re wearin’ a T-shirt. Roll up into a ball and tuck your knees and arms inside your shirt,” I say softly. I listen to her rustle about and get situated. “It won’t help much, but it will some.”
Assholes had to take our pants. They want us cold, miserable, and fucking dying.
“You think the guys are looking for us,” she questions.
Deep down in my gut, I believe they are. At least I want that thought to be true, so I answer the same question she has asked a dozen times. “They are.”
The loud laughter above us quiets down, and I know we are about to get our second visit from one or more of the men upstairs. I hurry and demand that Jinx follows my directions.
I do love her. I have for a long time. Do I know if it is the once in a lifetime love I’ve always been looking for? No, I don’t know that. I do know it’s a love I want to explore beyond friendship.
“I’ve always loved her in a way,” I say quietly. I’m not ashamed of my feelings. I’ve always been the more open brother of the club, but I don’t need anyone knowing my personal fucking business. “Am I in love with her? I don’t know, but I know it’s a love I want the chance at. Does that make sense?”
Over a year ago, I wouldn’t even be asking my brother this question, but he is married now with a baby on the way. For the first time, he is in love and would lay down his life for his wife.
“It makes sense. Now, if you said some shit like that before I met Angel, I’d laugh in your face, brother, you fuckin’ know it, but now, I’d die for that woman like I’d die for one of you.”
Everything is messed up in my head. The what ifs and what I might not be able to say to Piper if we don’t find her push every other thought from my mind.
Shit! That isn’t an option I am willing to explore.
“I’m losing my shit here, Prez. Losing my fuckin’ shit.” I light a smoke, take a large drag inward, and allow the smoke to fill my empty lungs. It calms the shakes the rack my body from the anger.
“Honestly, you’re doin’ a fuckin’ bang up job keepin’ it held together.” Braxxon sighs. “I suspect that means you’re gonna turn into a fuckin’ hurricane soon enough.”
A fucking hurricane won’t have shit on me if I don’t find my girl soon. I’m going to rip through Jamaica, Nevada like a fucking exploding volcano if I don’t start getting answers or clues as to where Piper is.
“Juan needs to hurry the fuck up,” I growl and stub out my cigarette. Fucking stupid ass nicotine isn’t doing the job now that my mind is thinking of all the possible outcomes. “I don’t know how much longer I can sit here and do absolutely fuckin’ nothin’, brother. I don’t.”
Pyro takes a seat on the other side of me, and Braxxon lowers his shades over his eyes, gives me one more bro pat, stands, and walks off.
“I have no doubt in my mind that Piper will make it out of this. Her friend, on the other hand…” Pyro trails off, shaking his head back and forth. We all seem to be doing that a lot lately.
I want to lash out at my patch brother and ask how the fuck does he know she’ll make it out of this okay. They don’t know Piper like I do. None of them do. She struggled and dug deep to get past the shit that happened to her, but as a human, I am trying to think about the girl, Jinx, as well. She is as straight as they come, an honest to god good girl, and her only hope for survival is to be as strong as I pray Piper is being.
“Pyro, this shit is so fucked up. She was taken right from our fuckin’ gates with over two hundred motherfuckers here!” I pick up my girl’s gun and start to clean it, hoping it cools me down some.
“That’s part of why this is burnin’ you up, brother. She was stolen right out from under our noses. I get it,” he says.
He gets it? He doesn’t get fucking shit. He lost Lana, yeah, I understand that much, but they fought back. Piper and Jinx couldn’t fight back. They had rags over their faces in the matter of seconds. My girl would have kicked and screamed for help if she had been granted only a few more milliseconds.
“I can’t talk about this anymore, brother. I can’t,” I grit through my teeth as I scrub the barrel of Piper’s gun.
They have only a few more hours before I paint this fucking city blood red.
***
Chapter Sixteen
Piper
My stomach grumbles, and I know we’re beyond the full day mark now. Our bodies are becoming slack of energy, and I know dehydration is close by. If we do not get some liquids in us, we are going to be in some trouble. They have not brought us anything to eat, either. This tells me they don’t care if we live or die. It also means we were a warning of what is to come if the brothers don’t give these guys whatever it is that they want. This is a further example of why I wish Sniper would be more forthright with me when it comes down to club business.
My bladder feels full, but it isn’t. I am not peeing, so it could either be from the stress, or we have been here longer than my body and brain can process.
“Piper…” Jinx whispers. “Are you awake?”
I roll over to my other side and face her in the dark room. “I am,” I whisper back.
“I’m really cold,” she says with her teeth chattering together.
It is sad that I am cold, too, but I respond to it as if I am used to it, proof of how long I went mistreated in captivity.
“You’re wearin’ a T-shirt. Roll up into a ball and tuck your knees and arms inside your shirt,” I say softly. I listen to her rustle about and get situated. “It won’t help much, but it will some.”
Assholes had to take our pants. They want us cold, miserable, and fucking dying.
“You think the guys are looking for us,” she questions.
Deep down in my gut, I believe they are. At least I want that thought to be true, so I answer the same question she has asked a dozen times. “They are.”
The loud laughter above us quiets down, and I know we are about to get our second visit from one or more of the men upstairs. I hurry and demand that Jinx follows my directions.
