Drawn Together
Page 24
“You have a marshmallow center.” He poked her belly and she smirked.
“I am a hard-ass bitch, Jonah. I am mean. I am selfish and not to be trusted.”
He shook his head. “You moved to Seattle for Alexander.”
Her face softened again. “He’s my reason to put down roots.” Then she found her mask again. “But that doesn’t mean I’m still not bad news.”
“You are not bad news. No matter how often you tell yourself that. And I will say the sleep stuff is a killer. When Carrie was a baby she was pretty easy. She slept well. But when she started walking she just hated to sit still. She was up at five. Gave up naps before she was two. My ex hated that.”
“You were at work all day while she was home with the kid?”
“One of us had to pay the mortgage. We talked about it before she got pregnant. That she’d be home. I didn’t expect her to because she was the woman. We had a deal. She . . .”
“I’m not accusing you of being a sexist jerk. It was a question, that’s all. Erin is really good at it. The stay-at-home-mom gig. She’s got this endless patience with him. It helps that he’s a really happy kid. But still, she just goes and goes. Did you have a nanny or a night nurse or whatever?”
He relaxed a little. “She wanted a night nurse but I was really opposed. But she did have a nanny a few days a week. My mother came and helped a lot too. Looking back, the first cracks in our relationship were then. She wasn’t cut out for it. Parenting, I mean.”
“Yes, well. Carrie has you. Sounds like she’s better off without your ex. Who, by the way, sounds like a total moron. Did her tits blind you or something?”
He choked as he laughed. “We were young. She was gorgeous in her way. Her family knows my family. It seemed like the right choice at the time. I did love her. Then.” Even as they’d started to get into trouble he’d loved her, wanted to fix things. But once she’d started neglecting Carrie, that had killed it.
“You Warner boys sure do like to marry dumbasses. From what I hear, your mother isn’t stupid in any way.”
“I thought you liked Daisy?”
“I do. But he isn’t married to her. Yet. I’m talking the first one. And your ex. And the dumb, racist one your other brother is married to.”
“I’m going to hear your voice calling her the dumb racist one every time I see her from now on. Thanks for that.”
She shrugged.
“I think we did what we were expected to do.”
“I insulted you.”
“No. Not really.” He paused, teasing her with another bite. “You say things people don’t say. It’s . . . I’m not used to it.”
“Honesty?”
“Candor perhaps is a better term.”
“I don’t know which fork to use either.”
She was so fearless in many ways, but also vulnerable. He saw it all through her words and body language. It got to him. He wanted to gather her up and protect her.
So he did.
She didn’t resist, though she was surprised as she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from falling from his lap.
“I’ve got you.”
The words were simple. Easily understood in the context.
But they were more. It tore at her. Made her lose her grip on her defenses.
He put his head on her chest and she relaxed a little.
“Forks are overrated. Also, you talk a good game, but your table manners are pretty impeccable.”
He had a house in Maui. Good lord.
“I’m full, but you hardly ate.”
He sat straighter and pulled her plate over. She moved to take the fork, but he grabbed her wrists with one of his hands, holding them fast at the small of her back.
A pulse of warmth flowed through her. Narcotic.
He fed her, pausing to kiss her here and there as he did.
She couldn’t explain to herself why she tolerated it. That he restrained her and fed her and she made no effort to stop him.
But it did something to her. Filled a crack that had been forming since he’d come into her life.
“Candor is important. Most people aren’t honest on that level.”
“Erin says I’m sort of feral.” She shrugged. It was true really. It’s not like she was ever in any one place long enough growing up for a responsible adult to teach her how she was supposed to act.
He smiled. “Not feral. You’re just not affected like so many people are.”
“I’m really not trying to offend people. Well, most of the time.” She smirked. “I can be a total bitch when I put my mind to it.”
He laughed. “I bet you can. And I bet you’re aces at it.”
“Not worth doing if you don’t do your best.” He kept feeding her, holding her hands, keeping her on his lap until she was nearly catlike in her laziness. She leaned into his body, warm and lethargic. “I’m full. I promise.”
He put the plate aside.
“Do you trust me?”
She managed to tip her head back enough to look at his face. She didn’t trust a lot of people. But there she sat, on his lap after he’d held her hands captive and fed her. After she’d told him about growing up in the system.
Ludicrous. But no less true.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
He stood, keeping her in his arms, though he did let go of her wrists to keep from dropping her.
“I can walk.”
“I am a hard-ass bitch, Jonah. I am mean. I am selfish and not to be trusted.”
He shook his head. “You moved to Seattle for Alexander.”
Her face softened again. “He’s my reason to put down roots.” Then she found her mask again. “But that doesn’t mean I’m still not bad news.”
“You are not bad news. No matter how often you tell yourself that. And I will say the sleep stuff is a killer. When Carrie was a baby she was pretty easy. She slept well. But when she started walking she just hated to sit still. She was up at five. Gave up naps before she was two. My ex hated that.”
“You were at work all day while she was home with the kid?”
“One of us had to pay the mortgage. We talked about it before she got pregnant. That she’d be home. I didn’t expect her to because she was the woman. We had a deal. She . . .”
“I’m not accusing you of being a sexist jerk. It was a question, that’s all. Erin is really good at it. The stay-at-home-mom gig. She’s got this endless patience with him. It helps that he’s a really happy kid. But still, she just goes and goes. Did you have a nanny or a night nurse or whatever?”
He relaxed a little. “She wanted a night nurse but I was really opposed. But she did have a nanny a few days a week. My mother came and helped a lot too. Looking back, the first cracks in our relationship were then. She wasn’t cut out for it. Parenting, I mean.”
“Yes, well. Carrie has you. Sounds like she’s better off without your ex. Who, by the way, sounds like a total moron. Did her tits blind you or something?”
He choked as he laughed. “We were young. She was gorgeous in her way. Her family knows my family. It seemed like the right choice at the time. I did love her. Then.” Even as they’d started to get into trouble he’d loved her, wanted to fix things. But once she’d started neglecting Carrie, that had killed it.
“You Warner boys sure do like to marry dumbasses. From what I hear, your mother isn’t stupid in any way.”
“I thought you liked Daisy?”
“I do. But he isn’t married to her. Yet. I’m talking the first one. And your ex. And the dumb, racist one your other brother is married to.”
“I’m going to hear your voice calling her the dumb racist one every time I see her from now on. Thanks for that.”
She shrugged.
“I think we did what we were expected to do.”
“I insulted you.”
“No. Not really.” He paused, teasing her with another bite. “You say things people don’t say. It’s . . . I’m not used to it.”
“Honesty?”
“Candor perhaps is a better term.”
“I don’t know which fork to use either.”
She was so fearless in many ways, but also vulnerable. He saw it all through her words and body language. It got to him. He wanted to gather her up and protect her.
So he did.
She didn’t resist, though she was surprised as she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from falling from his lap.
“I’ve got you.”
The words were simple. Easily understood in the context.
But they were more. It tore at her. Made her lose her grip on her defenses.
He put his head on her chest and she relaxed a little.
“Forks are overrated. Also, you talk a good game, but your table manners are pretty impeccable.”
He had a house in Maui. Good lord.
“I’m full, but you hardly ate.”
He sat straighter and pulled her plate over. She moved to take the fork, but he grabbed her wrists with one of his hands, holding them fast at the small of her back.
A pulse of warmth flowed through her. Narcotic.
He fed her, pausing to kiss her here and there as he did.
She couldn’t explain to herself why she tolerated it. That he restrained her and fed her and she made no effort to stop him.
But it did something to her. Filled a crack that had been forming since he’d come into her life.
“Candor is important. Most people aren’t honest on that level.”
“Erin says I’m sort of feral.” She shrugged. It was true really. It’s not like she was ever in any one place long enough growing up for a responsible adult to teach her how she was supposed to act.
He smiled. “Not feral. You’re just not affected like so many people are.”
“I’m really not trying to offend people. Well, most of the time.” She smirked. “I can be a total bitch when I put my mind to it.”
He laughed. “I bet you can. And I bet you’re aces at it.”
“Not worth doing if you don’t do your best.” He kept feeding her, holding her hands, keeping her on his lap until she was nearly catlike in her laziness. She leaned into his body, warm and lethargic. “I’m full. I promise.”
He put the plate aside.
“Do you trust me?”
She managed to tip her head back enough to look at his face. She didn’t trust a lot of people. But there she sat, on his lap after he’d held her hands captive and fed her. After she’d told him about growing up in the system.
Ludicrous. But no less true.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
He stood, keeping her in his arms, though he did let go of her wrists to keep from dropping her.
“I can walk.”
