Effortless
Page 30
I looked away from his perfection, positive that I did not look quite so...yummy. His warm lips rested on my forehead for a second, then he pulled me into the kitchen. We had to step around people lying on the floor. Apparently we were not the only ones that had slept over. Even in the kitchen, there were still partygoers. A pair of them was playing cards at the table, poker, from what I could make out. Thankfully, not strip poker, since the guy and girl were still dressed.
Kellan nodded at them as they blinked and looked around, like they'd just now noticed it was light outside and the party was over. You'd really think that the person snoring at the end of the table would have clued them in to that fact.
While I rested my tired head on his back, Kellan went about making a pot of coffee. Since he'd probably woken up here on several occasions, he knew exactly where everything was in Matt's house. When the pot was finally percolating, Kellan got me a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. I inhaled it I was so thirsty.
Kellan smiled at me, kissing my head as I sputtered on some of the liquid going down the wrong pipe. As I was trying to cough soundlessly, which just isn't possible, Matt shuffled into the room. Yawning as he scratched his chest, he nodded at the pair of us. Remembering that he'd seen me half nak*d last night, I looked away from him, my face flaming as it probably went beet red.
"Hey, guys...good morning," he mumbled. Cautiously, I peeked back at him. Matt had been pretty far gone last night, maybe he didn't remember?
Leaning against the counter with me in his arms in front of him, Kellan nodded his head up. "Mornin', how do you feel?"
Matt ran a hand back through his wildly disorganized hair, then massaged his own temples; I figured his head was throbbing too. "Peachy," he muttered sullenly, opening a cupboard to get a glass.
Kellan chuckled as he held me tight, looping his thumbs through my belt buckle straps. Matt looked over at his friend as he ran some cold water into his glass; the running faucet made my head scream and I laid it back against Kellan's shoulder, wishing I could fast-forward through the painful part of recovery.
"God, it's annoying how chipper you are in the morning," Matt muttered, taking a long gulp of his H2O. Kellan only smiled wider, rocking me a bit in his arms. When Matt paused, he added, "I hope you're not like that on the road...it would really get on my nerves."
Kellan laughed and I frowned. I didn't want to think about that part yet. Matt made the moment worse by adding, "Bus leaves in a few hours, so we should start getting people up...especially Griffin."
Kellan sighed and nodded. I bit my lip; I really didn't want to think about this yet. Finishing his glass, Matt frowned at me. "You okay, Kiera?" Adjusting my face, I gave him a small nod. He smiled back warmly, then his lips twisted. "You, uh...have fun last night?"
He asked it innocently, but his face flushed a little when he said it, and I knew that he did indeed remember. Wanting to bury my head in the sand and never come out again, I only gave him a small smile and squeaked out, "Yeah...thanks for...letting us come..."
My voice trailed off as I realized what I'd just said. Matt's light flush turned as red as mine probably was. I quickly added, "Over, thanks for letting us come over," but it was too late...I'd already said it in a horribly embarrassing way. Matt mumbled something about needing to get ready and quickly fled the room.
Kellan behind me struggled to not laugh, but as soon as the poker players started busting up, he gave up trying to hold back. Twisting around, I smacked him repeatedly in the chest. It only made him laugh harder. Wiping his eyes, he shook his head at me. "Oh God, Kiera, you're so damn cute."
I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to walk away from him, but he held onto me tight, pulling my body back into his. Turning me around, he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me in place. Sighing at the look of total embarrassment on my face, he shook his head. "I'm gonna miss your adorable awkwardness." He sighed again, sadder this time. "So much," he whispered.
I bit my lip as I searched his face, feeling the impending goodbye in the air. I wasn't ready for it. I didn't want to say goodbye to him. Slinging my arms around his neck, I held him as tight to me as I could. I'd hold him near me forever if there was a way to, but I knew there wasn't. I had to let him go. I had to give him his dream, no matter how much it hurt.
Eventually the rest of the partiers woke up and shuffled off, all of them wishing Kellan and Matt a great time on their adventure. As the poker players were blinking at the sun in the doorway, Evan and Jenny stepped through it. Feeling grimy and tired, I waved at a fresh-faced Jenny. She and Evan clearly hadn't celebrated as hard as I had.
Seeing my worn features, she walked over to the couch to give me a hug while Evan excitedly clapped Kellan on the back. "You all right, Kiera?" she laughed out.
Groaning, I laid my head back on the cushions. "Yep." Looking over at her, I frowned. "I don't remember you and Evan leaving last night?"
Her cheeks flushed a little as she glanced at the boys standing a few feet away from us. "Yeah, well, you were a little preoccupied at the time." Kellan glanced her way mid-conversation and she chuckled at him.
I covered my face with my hands. God, this embarrassment was going to last all friggin' day. Laughing a little harder, Jenny pulled my hands down and gave me a warm smile. "I'm glad you had a good time, Kiera." Shaking her head, she added, "Evan and I were afraid you'd spend the whole time moping."
I smiled and looked over at Evan, the tatted, buzzed-cut, punk, rock star with a heart as big as Jenny's. Meeting my eye, he nodded at me warmly and I let the lingering discomfiture fade. These people loved me, they wouldn't purposely make me regret a moment of letting go with my boyfriend. Especially since the release was a much needed one, in light of today's upcoming emotional goodbye.
Rachel quietly joined us on the couch while Matt took a shower. I longingly listened to the water flowing from the hallway, wondering if I could take one next. Feeling clean again might help my head stop thudding. Then, of course, hearing Matt in the bathroom reminded me of being in that bathroom myself. Just as my face was flushing, Kellan turned from his conversation with Evan to grin at me, like he knew exactly where my head had been. Biting my lip, I looked away.
"Kiera, when Matt's done, what's say you and me go suds up?"
Frowning, I glanced over at the last band member to enter the living room. Griffin was smiling at me in a way that I didn't care for, his eyes clearly already imagining me in the scenario he'd dreamed up. Giving me a kiss in the air, he added, "I want to hear you moan my name like you did Kell's."
I was just about to walk over and pummel the man when he was hit by about four different people. My sister, sleepily shuffling up behind him, smacked him over the head. Jenny beside me chucked a couch pillow at him, hitting him in the face. Rachel even got into the mix by tossing the TV remote into his gut. But Kellan was the one that probably fazed him the most.
Striding the few steps over to him, Kellan grabbed a thick section of his chin-length hair and jerked Griffin's face into his. "Knock it off, Griffin, or I'll knock it off for you." His indigo eyes dark and cold, Kellan searched Griffin's face. By the chill in his voice, I knew that Kellan wasn't joking. He'd finally had enough of Griffin teasing me, sexually assaulting me with his comments.
As tension built up in the room, Evan placed a hand on Kellan's shoulder, trying to calm him down. Anna even tried to push Kellan back a pace, but his face stony, Kellan kept Griffin about an inch away from him. Griffin's light blue eyes looked scared for a moment...then he started laughing.
"Did you want another kiss, bro? All you had to do was ask."
Rolling his eyes, Kellan finally released the idiot. The tension in the room immediately dissolved as Griffin doubled over. "Dude, you should have seen your face! That was awesome! I really thought you were gonna hit me." Kellan grunted and walked away as Griffin stood straight and draped his arm over Anna. Pointing at Kellan's retreating back as he walked into the kitchen, Griffin laughed out, "Say it again, Kell!" Mocking his voice, Griffin growled, "Knock it off, or I'll knock it off for you."
Anna smacked him in the chest, but laughed a little too. Sighing, Griffin shook his head. "Ah, that was classic."
Chapter 10This Isn't Goodbye
Once the boys had cleaned up and gotten their stuff ready, it was time to head out. Kellan had already packed a bag and shoved it in his trunk, probably figuring that the going away party might turn into an overnight stay. I hadn't, and still wearing my Pete's uniform under my jacket, I slid into Kellan's Chevelle beside him.
I hated the drive there. It was like how an army wife must feel, driving her man off to war. Alright, I take that back, the situations were nothing alike. Those women were living with the potential knowledge that they may never see their husbands again. What Kellan was doing wasn't nearly so treacherous. But...it still felt the same. And in all honesty, the possibility that I could never see him again was there. Not because of him being killed in battle, but because he could be swept away by fame.
He could be discovered by some record big-wig, offered the world, then sent off to parts unknown to become a cog in the entertainment industry wheel. He wouldn't have time for me then. And, if he was constantly surrounded by dying-to-please star-effers...he may not want me then either.
Rolling my eyes as I watched the tail lights of Griffin's van and Evan's car, I reminded myself that Kellan wasn't interested in a woman who only wanted what he was, and not who he was. He'd had that...for years...and he wanted more. He wanted me. Even if this was his moment, he wouldn't let us go. I just had to keep believing that.
Setting his hand on my thigh, Kellan looked over at me. "It won't happen."
I blinked as I looked over at him, wondering how he knew what I was thinking. Smiling, he shook his head and pointed at me. "Whatever bad scenario you've created in your head, where I become a rich and famous douche and leave you high and dry...it won't happen that way."
Frowning, I tilted my head at him. "I thought you said you couldn't read minds."
Laughing, he twisted back to the road. "I can't...I just know how you think is all." Peeking back at me, he added, "You think you're not enough for me. You think I'll see all the hot tail in front of me and I'll dive into it without a moment's hesitation. You think I'll cheat...because I won't be able to help myself."
He frowned and I sighed. Shaking my head, I said, "And now you're thinking that I'll be so lonely and depressed, imagining you with every starlet wannabe out there, that I'll find comfort in another man's arms. You think I'll cheat...because I'll assume that you already are."
I frowned and he sighed, staring back to the road. "Well, aren't we a pair," he muttered.
Laying my head on his shoulder, I whispered, "I won't, Kellan. Even if I do think that about you, and I'm not saying that I will think that, but...either way, I won't...I'm yours."
Sighing, he laid his head over mine. "And I won't...because I've only ever been yours."
I bit my lip and closed my eyes, desperately wanting to believe him. Moments later, it seemed, we were there. Kellan pulled into a parking stall next to Evan and shut the car off. We sat for a moment in silence while Evan opened his door beside us. He rapped on our window, a wide smile on his face. Jenny opened her side and joined him, waving in our direction. As the pair met up with Matt, Griffin, Rachel and Anna, Kellan and I still sat in his car, enjoying the last moment of quiet before he had to go.
Kellan nodded at them as they blinked and looked around, like they'd just now noticed it was light outside and the party was over. You'd really think that the person snoring at the end of the table would have clued them in to that fact.
While I rested my tired head on his back, Kellan went about making a pot of coffee. Since he'd probably woken up here on several occasions, he knew exactly where everything was in Matt's house. When the pot was finally percolating, Kellan got me a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. I inhaled it I was so thirsty.
Kellan smiled at me, kissing my head as I sputtered on some of the liquid going down the wrong pipe. As I was trying to cough soundlessly, which just isn't possible, Matt shuffled into the room. Yawning as he scratched his chest, he nodded at the pair of us. Remembering that he'd seen me half nak*d last night, I looked away from him, my face flaming as it probably went beet red.
"Hey, guys...good morning," he mumbled. Cautiously, I peeked back at him. Matt had been pretty far gone last night, maybe he didn't remember?
Leaning against the counter with me in his arms in front of him, Kellan nodded his head up. "Mornin', how do you feel?"
Matt ran a hand back through his wildly disorganized hair, then massaged his own temples; I figured his head was throbbing too. "Peachy," he muttered sullenly, opening a cupboard to get a glass.
Kellan chuckled as he held me tight, looping his thumbs through my belt buckle straps. Matt looked over at his friend as he ran some cold water into his glass; the running faucet made my head scream and I laid it back against Kellan's shoulder, wishing I could fast-forward through the painful part of recovery.
"God, it's annoying how chipper you are in the morning," Matt muttered, taking a long gulp of his H2O. Kellan only smiled wider, rocking me a bit in his arms. When Matt paused, he added, "I hope you're not like that on the road...it would really get on my nerves."
Kellan laughed and I frowned. I didn't want to think about that part yet. Matt made the moment worse by adding, "Bus leaves in a few hours, so we should start getting people up...especially Griffin."
Kellan sighed and nodded. I bit my lip; I really didn't want to think about this yet. Finishing his glass, Matt frowned at me. "You okay, Kiera?" Adjusting my face, I gave him a small nod. He smiled back warmly, then his lips twisted. "You, uh...have fun last night?"
He asked it innocently, but his face flushed a little when he said it, and I knew that he did indeed remember. Wanting to bury my head in the sand and never come out again, I only gave him a small smile and squeaked out, "Yeah...thanks for...letting us come..."
My voice trailed off as I realized what I'd just said. Matt's light flush turned as red as mine probably was. I quickly added, "Over, thanks for letting us come over," but it was too late...I'd already said it in a horribly embarrassing way. Matt mumbled something about needing to get ready and quickly fled the room.
Kellan behind me struggled to not laugh, but as soon as the poker players started busting up, he gave up trying to hold back. Twisting around, I smacked him repeatedly in the chest. It only made him laugh harder. Wiping his eyes, he shook his head at me. "Oh God, Kiera, you're so damn cute."
I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to walk away from him, but he held onto me tight, pulling my body back into his. Turning me around, he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me in place. Sighing at the look of total embarrassment on my face, he shook his head. "I'm gonna miss your adorable awkwardness." He sighed again, sadder this time. "So much," he whispered.
I bit my lip as I searched his face, feeling the impending goodbye in the air. I wasn't ready for it. I didn't want to say goodbye to him. Slinging my arms around his neck, I held him as tight to me as I could. I'd hold him near me forever if there was a way to, but I knew there wasn't. I had to let him go. I had to give him his dream, no matter how much it hurt.
Eventually the rest of the partiers woke up and shuffled off, all of them wishing Kellan and Matt a great time on their adventure. As the poker players were blinking at the sun in the doorway, Evan and Jenny stepped through it. Feeling grimy and tired, I waved at a fresh-faced Jenny. She and Evan clearly hadn't celebrated as hard as I had.
Seeing my worn features, she walked over to the couch to give me a hug while Evan excitedly clapped Kellan on the back. "You all right, Kiera?" she laughed out.
Groaning, I laid my head back on the cushions. "Yep." Looking over at her, I frowned. "I don't remember you and Evan leaving last night?"
Her cheeks flushed a little as she glanced at the boys standing a few feet away from us. "Yeah, well, you were a little preoccupied at the time." Kellan glanced her way mid-conversation and she chuckled at him.
I covered my face with my hands. God, this embarrassment was going to last all friggin' day. Laughing a little harder, Jenny pulled my hands down and gave me a warm smile. "I'm glad you had a good time, Kiera." Shaking her head, she added, "Evan and I were afraid you'd spend the whole time moping."
I smiled and looked over at Evan, the tatted, buzzed-cut, punk, rock star with a heart as big as Jenny's. Meeting my eye, he nodded at me warmly and I let the lingering discomfiture fade. These people loved me, they wouldn't purposely make me regret a moment of letting go with my boyfriend. Especially since the release was a much needed one, in light of today's upcoming emotional goodbye.
Rachel quietly joined us on the couch while Matt took a shower. I longingly listened to the water flowing from the hallway, wondering if I could take one next. Feeling clean again might help my head stop thudding. Then, of course, hearing Matt in the bathroom reminded me of being in that bathroom myself. Just as my face was flushing, Kellan turned from his conversation with Evan to grin at me, like he knew exactly where my head had been. Biting my lip, I looked away.
"Kiera, when Matt's done, what's say you and me go suds up?"
Frowning, I glanced over at the last band member to enter the living room. Griffin was smiling at me in a way that I didn't care for, his eyes clearly already imagining me in the scenario he'd dreamed up. Giving me a kiss in the air, he added, "I want to hear you moan my name like you did Kell's."
I was just about to walk over and pummel the man when he was hit by about four different people. My sister, sleepily shuffling up behind him, smacked him over the head. Jenny beside me chucked a couch pillow at him, hitting him in the face. Rachel even got into the mix by tossing the TV remote into his gut. But Kellan was the one that probably fazed him the most.
Striding the few steps over to him, Kellan grabbed a thick section of his chin-length hair and jerked Griffin's face into his. "Knock it off, Griffin, or I'll knock it off for you." His indigo eyes dark and cold, Kellan searched Griffin's face. By the chill in his voice, I knew that Kellan wasn't joking. He'd finally had enough of Griffin teasing me, sexually assaulting me with his comments.
As tension built up in the room, Evan placed a hand on Kellan's shoulder, trying to calm him down. Anna even tried to push Kellan back a pace, but his face stony, Kellan kept Griffin about an inch away from him. Griffin's light blue eyes looked scared for a moment...then he started laughing.
"Did you want another kiss, bro? All you had to do was ask."
Rolling his eyes, Kellan finally released the idiot. The tension in the room immediately dissolved as Griffin doubled over. "Dude, you should have seen your face! That was awesome! I really thought you were gonna hit me." Kellan grunted and walked away as Griffin stood straight and draped his arm over Anna. Pointing at Kellan's retreating back as he walked into the kitchen, Griffin laughed out, "Say it again, Kell!" Mocking his voice, Griffin growled, "Knock it off, or I'll knock it off for you."
Anna smacked him in the chest, but laughed a little too. Sighing, Griffin shook his head. "Ah, that was classic."
Chapter 10This Isn't Goodbye
Once the boys had cleaned up and gotten their stuff ready, it was time to head out. Kellan had already packed a bag and shoved it in his trunk, probably figuring that the going away party might turn into an overnight stay. I hadn't, and still wearing my Pete's uniform under my jacket, I slid into Kellan's Chevelle beside him.
I hated the drive there. It was like how an army wife must feel, driving her man off to war. Alright, I take that back, the situations were nothing alike. Those women were living with the potential knowledge that they may never see their husbands again. What Kellan was doing wasn't nearly so treacherous. But...it still felt the same. And in all honesty, the possibility that I could never see him again was there. Not because of him being killed in battle, but because he could be swept away by fame.
He could be discovered by some record big-wig, offered the world, then sent off to parts unknown to become a cog in the entertainment industry wheel. He wouldn't have time for me then. And, if he was constantly surrounded by dying-to-please star-effers...he may not want me then either.
Rolling my eyes as I watched the tail lights of Griffin's van and Evan's car, I reminded myself that Kellan wasn't interested in a woman who only wanted what he was, and not who he was. He'd had that...for years...and he wanted more. He wanted me. Even if this was his moment, he wouldn't let us go. I just had to keep believing that.
Setting his hand on my thigh, Kellan looked over at me. "It won't happen."
I blinked as I looked over at him, wondering how he knew what I was thinking. Smiling, he shook his head and pointed at me. "Whatever bad scenario you've created in your head, where I become a rich and famous douche and leave you high and dry...it won't happen that way."
Frowning, I tilted my head at him. "I thought you said you couldn't read minds."
Laughing, he twisted back to the road. "I can't...I just know how you think is all." Peeking back at me, he added, "You think you're not enough for me. You think I'll see all the hot tail in front of me and I'll dive into it without a moment's hesitation. You think I'll cheat...because I won't be able to help myself."
He frowned and I sighed. Shaking my head, I said, "And now you're thinking that I'll be so lonely and depressed, imagining you with every starlet wannabe out there, that I'll find comfort in another man's arms. You think I'll cheat...because I'll assume that you already are."
I frowned and he sighed, staring back to the road. "Well, aren't we a pair," he muttered.
Laying my head on his shoulder, I whispered, "I won't, Kellan. Even if I do think that about you, and I'm not saying that I will think that, but...either way, I won't...I'm yours."
Sighing, he laid his head over mine. "And I won't...because I've only ever been yours."
I bit my lip and closed my eyes, desperately wanting to believe him. Moments later, it seemed, we were there. Kellan pulled into a parking stall next to Evan and shut the car off. We sat for a moment in silence while Evan opened his door beside us. He rapped on our window, a wide smile on his face. Jenny opened her side and joined him, waving in our direction. As the pair met up with Matt, Griffin, Rachel and Anna, Kellan and I still sat in his car, enjoying the last moment of quiet before he had to go.
