Effortless
Page 45
The last thing I'd tucked into the box I'd gotten on a whim. It was a Hot Wheels car. And not just any Hot Wheels car, but a classic muscle car. I wasn't sure if it was a Chevelle, but it was close, and it was shiny black. Kellan's car was the last thing that Kellan really cared about and I'd gotten the toy as a way to let him know that I was taking care of his baby.
When Kellan spotted it, he picked it up and stared at me. His mouth dropped open and he looked completely thrown. I bunched my brows as I watched his eyes start to tear up again. He shook his head and muttered something that I swear was, "How did you know?"
I opened my mouth to ask him what he'd said, but he grabbed me, hugging me tight. "Thank you, Kiera...you don't know how much I love this, all of this." He pulled back to gaze at me, his heart in his eyes. "How much I love you."
I swallowed and nodded. Palming his toy, he pointed to the box in my hands. "Your turn."
Exhaling in a rush, I concentrated on the box in my fingertips. Biting my lip, I wondered what he could have gotten for me as I finished unwrapping the partially opened gift. Once I saw the shape of the box, my heart started thudding. It was a ring box. I paused, unsure if I should open this. Was he proposing? What did I say if he was? Honestly, a part of me thrilled over the idea of being his wife, but my dad had a good point. Kellan and I still had issues to work through before we could even think about heading down that path. I mean, we hadn't even gotten to the point where we could live together again. This step seemed too big.
Knowing he was watching me intently, and not wanting him to think I was doubting him in any way, I popped the box out and opened the lid. Inside were two silver bands, one clearly a man's, one a woman's; the woman's was elegantly lined with small diamonds. Confused, I scrunched my brows and looked up at him. He smiled, peering down at me.
Reaching down, he grabbed the man's ring. "They're promise rings," he whispered. Picking up the woman's, he lifted my right hand. Sliding it on my finger, he softly said, "You wear one," he slipped the man's on the ring finger of his right hand, "and I wear one." Smiling contently, he shook his head. "And we promise that no one comes between us. That we...belong to each other, and only each other."
As I stared at him, amazed and warmed, a tear rolled down my cheek. "I love it," I whispered, leaning over to kiss him.
We tenderly kissed on that couch for a long moment. We probably would have kissed longer, but a wadded-up piece of gift paper smacked me in the face. Frowning, I turned to glare at my sister. She grinned, giggling as she lifted a box of very expensive perfume...her favorite kind. "Thanks, Kellan, I love it."
He nodded at her, laughing lightly as he snuggled into my side. From the other couch, my dad cleared his throat and pointed at what Kellan had gotten for them. "Yes, thank you...Kellan."
Mom grinned as she hugged what looked like plane tickets in her hand. As I scrunched my face, trying to figure out where they were going, Kellan leaned down to my ear. "I got them tickets to Seattle, so they could see you graduate in June."
My mouth dropped open as I looked back at him. He grinned and laughed at the look on my face. "Kellan...you didn't have to..."
He shrugged. "I know, but your parents should see all of your hard work pay off, and tickets are expensive, so..." He shrugged again.
As the relaxation of a successful Christmas morning flowed throughout the room, I leaned into Kellan's body. Lacing our hands together, I watched where the rings lined up and smiled. Sighing at the physical representation of our commitment to each other, I noticed that Kellan was still fingering the toy car in his other hand.
Pulling back, I looked up at him. "When I gave you that toy, you said something. What was it?"
Kellan looked down at our hands, smiling to himself. Shaking his head, he murmured, "It's nothing."
I kissed his jaw. "Tell me anyway."
He looked over at me and then at the room full of the family that I loved. Anna was snuggling with Mom, thanking her for a cashmere set that had probably cost my parents a small fortune. Dad was flipping through Anna's calendar, telling her that she looked very...pretty.
Absorbing the feeling in the room, Kellan shook his head. "This is so nice...so peaceful. Kind of idyllic." His voice low, almost inaudible, he whispered, "I keep waiting for the yelling to start." He glanced over at me and then looked down at our hands again. "It means so much to me that you let me...be a part of this." He looked back up at me, his face content. "I think this may be my new favorite Christmas morning."
I smiled, jabbing him in the ribs. "Even though you had to climb down a trellis?" I whispered, careful to not let Dad hear me. "Even being...interrogated?" I said more seriously.
He smiled down on me and nodded. "Yep...still the best."
Knowing that he probably hadn't had too many bright spots in his childhood, I wondered what memory had been his favorite up until this point. When I asked him, he turned his head, his eyes getting a faraway look as he remembered. "I was five. It was Christmas Eve. My dad was angry at...something...I don't remember what, and he tossed me into a wall, broke my arm."
My eyes widened as Kellan's contented smile grew. This was a good memory?
Not reacting to my face, he glanced at his arm slung around me and ran our laced together fingers over a bone under his shirt. "It broke here." In my horror, I realized it was the exact same spot Denny had broken his arm.
Kellan shrugged, his face still serene. "They took me to the emergency room, my mom complaining the entire time that they were going to be late for a party. I don't know why I remember her saying that..." Looking over to the Christmas tree, Kellan shook his head. "Anyway, they checked me in, then left. I didn't see them again until Christmas night."
Leaning back on the couch, Kellan smiled wider as his story grew more and more awful. "There was this nurse there, and I guess she felt sorry for me or something, because I was all alone on Christmas morning." He looked over at the toy car in his hand, lifting it up to examine it closer. "She gave me a set of three Hot Wheels. A fire truck, a police car, and...a muscle car." He grinned as he met my eye. "Just like this one."
Shaking his head, he laughed a little. "I played with those cars all day..." Running the toy down my arm, he murmured, "But this one was my favorite. It was the only thing I wished I'd remembered to take to L.A. when I left home. But I forgot, and my parents...tossed it."
He met eyes with me again. "That Christmas was the best one I'd ever had, because I wasn't at home. That toy was the best gift I'd ever received, even better than my guitar I think, because the guitar was mainly a ploy from my parents to keep me out of their hair..." He lifted the car again. "This...was pure."
He swallowed, searching my eyes. "I thought I'd never see anything like that car again...how did you know to get me this?"
I shook my head, tears stinging the edges of my eyes. "It just...seemed like you."
Kellan frowned as he watched my eyes water and fill. "Hey, I didn't tell you that to make you feel sorry for me." He cupped my cheek. "I'm okay, Kiera." I nodded under his fingertips but a tear escaped me anyway. Brushing it aside with his thumb, he smiled at me. "I just wanted to let you know what it meant to me. To...thank you for letting me have this experience with you and your family. It means more than you'll ever really understand."
I shook my head. "No, I think I get it."
I kissed him lightly but my lip was trembling. Knowing I was going to start sobbing for him if I didn't change my thoughts, I shook my head and inhaled deep. "I could use some eggnog. You?"
Kellan smiled peacefully and shook his head. "No, I don't need anything."
I nodded, kissed his head, and hurried out of there. He didn't need or want my pity. He had dealt with his past a long time ago.
Brushing my fingers under my eyes, I ran into my mom in the kitchen. She smiled as she made another pot of coffee. "Kellan seems to be enjoying himself?"
Yes, more than she'd ever realize. I shook my head, forcing on the effortless smile that Kellan always wore. "Yeah, thank you so much for getting Dad to let him come. I know it was you, and I'm really..." I swallowed, the emotion of his story still with me, "I'm really grateful."
Mom frowned then came over to give me a hug. "Hey, it's alright. No need to get all blubbery."
I sighed at myself, hugging her back. "I know." Releasing her, I rested my head on her shoulder. She patted my arm then glanced down at the ring on my finger. She frowned for a moment and then looked back into the living room at Kellan.
Looking back with her, I could see that Anna had joined him on the couch and was flipping through her calendar with him. They were peering at something intently, Kellan laughing a bit and shaking his head. Watching the naturally beautiful pair, I sighed. Then I rubbed my ring with my thumb and smiled. He'd chosen me.
"Is that from Kellan?" my mom asked quietly.
I looked back at her and nodded. "Yeah, he got us both promise rings. Sweet, huh?"
She bit her lip, tilting her head. "Honey, I may disagree with how your father broached the subject, but I don't entirely disagree with him about Kellan." She shook her head, watching Kellan and Anna get into a playful wrapping paper fight. "He's so...attractive, Kiera, even more so in person than his pictures." Looking back at me, she frowned. "That sort of thing gets noticed by women and attractive men aren't always good with...one relationship. And even if he doesn't stray, it takes a special person to be able to handle all of the attention he'll receive. Are you sure you can be that woman? Are you sure you want to date him?"
She looked back at Kellan and my sister, and I suddenly felt like what she was really saying was that Anna, my beautiful, provocative, spontaneous, easy-going sister, was a better match for him. Frowning, I crossed my arms over my chest. "Yes, I'm sure. I know what you guys think of me, but Kellan sees more, he loves me."
Mom took a step back and narrowed her eyes at me. "What are you talking about, Kiera?"
I stiffened, not really wanting to talk about the constant references that I heard, not wanting to talk about the major differences between Anna and me, differences that had been pointed out to me my entire childhood. Mom squeezed my shoulder when I didn't answer her. When she repeated her question, I sighed, and muttered, "You know...that Anna's the beautiful one and I'm...I'm the smart one."
Mom sighed and squeezed me tight. "Oh, Kiera, honey. I hope we never made you feel that way, it was never our intention." Pulling back, she looked me in the eye. "That's not what we think. We're always telling people about both of our beautiful daughters, and they always agree with us. You're every bit as attractive as your sister, Kiera. I think you're the only one that doesn't see it."
Looking back into the living room, Mom shook her head. "But Anna...relies on her looks. It's become how she defines herself. Sometimes I worry that her looks are all she'll have, and when those eventually fade..."
When Kellan spotted it, he picked it up and stared at me. His mouth dropped open and he looked completely thrown. I bunched my brows as I watched his eyes start to tear up again. He shook his head and muttered something that I swear was, "How did you know?"
I opened my mouth to ask him what he'd said, but he grabbed me, hugging me tight. "Thank you, Kiera...you don't know how much I love this, all of this." He pulled back to gaze at me, his heart in his eyes. "How much I love you."
I swallowed and nodded. Palming his toy, he pointed to the box in my hands. "Your turn."
Exhaling in a rush, I concentrated on the box in my fingertips. Biting my lip, I wondered what he could have gotten for me as I finished unwrapping the partially opened gift. Once I saw the shape of the box, my heart started thudding. It was a ring box. I paused, unsure if I should open this. Was he proposing? What did I say if he was? Honestly, a part of me thrilled over the idea of being his wife, but my dad had a good point. Kellan and I still had issues to work through before we could even think about heading down that path. I mean, we hadn't even gotten to the point where we could live together again. This step seemed too big.
Knowing he was watching me intently, and not wanting him to think I was doubting him in any way, I popped the box out and opened the lid. Inside were two silver bands, one clearly a man's, one a woman's; the woman's was elegantly lined with small diamonds. Confused, I scrunched my brows and looked up at him. He smiled, peering down at me.
Reaching down, he grabbed the man's ring. "They're promise rings," he whispered. Picking up the woman's, he lifted my right hand. Sliding it on my finger, he softly said, "You wear one," he slipped the man's on the ring finger of his right hand, "and I wear one." Smiling contently, he shook his head. "And we promise that no one comes between us. That we...belong to each other, and only each other."
As I stared at him, amazed and warmed, a tear rolled down my cheek. "I love it," I whispered, leaning over to kiss him.
We tenderly kissed on that couch for a long moment. We probably would have kissed longer, but a wadded-up piece of gift paper smacked me in the face. Frowning, I turned to glare at my sister. She grinned, giggling as she lifted a box of very expensive perfume...her favorite kind. "Thanks, Kellan, I love it."
He nodded at her, laughing lightly as he snuggled into my side. From the other couch, my dad cleared his throat and pointed at what Kellan had gotten for them. "Yes, thank you...Kellan."
Mom grinned as she hugged what looked like plane tickets in her hand. As I scrunched my face, trying to figure out where they were going, Kellan leaned down to my ear. "I got them tickets to Seattle, so they could see you graduate in June."
My mouth dropped open as I looked back at him. He grinned and laughed at the look on my face. "Kellan...you didn't have to..."
He shrugged. "I know, but your parents should see all of your hard work pay off, and tickets are expensive, so..." He shrugged again.
As the relaxation of a successful Christmas morning flowed throughout the room, I leaned into Kellan's body. Lacing our hands together, I watched where the rings lined up and smiled. Sighing at the physical representation of our commitment to each other, I noticed that Kellan was still fingering the toy car in his other hand.
Pulling back, I looked up at him. "When I gave you that toy, you said something. What was it?"
Kellan looked down at our hands, smiling to himself. Shaking his head, he murmured, "It's nothing."
I kissed his jaw. "Tell me anyway."
He looked over at me and then at the room full of the family that I loved. Anna was snuggling with Mom, thanking her for a cashmere set that had probably cost my parents a small fortune. Dad was flipping through Anna's calendar, telling her that she looked very...pretty.
Absorbing the feeling in the room, Kellan shook his head. "This is so nice...so peaceful. Kind of idyllic." His voice low, almost inaudible, he whispered, "I keep waiting for the yelling to start." He glanced over at me and then looked down at our hands again. "It means so much to me that you let me...be a part of this." He looked back up at me, his face content. "I think this may be my new favorite Christmas morning."
I smiled, jabbing him in the ribs. "Even though you had to climb down a trellis?" I whispered, careful to not let Dad hear me. "Even being...interrogated?" I said more seriously.
He smiled down on me and nodded. "Yep...still the best."
Knowing that he probably hadn't had too many bright spots in his childhood, I wondered what memory had been his favorite up until this point. When I asked him, he turned his head, his eyes getting a faraway look as he remembered. "I was five. It was Christmas Eve. My dad was angry at...something...I don't remember what, and he tossed me into a wall, broke my arm."
My eyes widened as Kellan's contented smile grew. This was a good memory?
Not reacting to my face, he glanced at his arm slung around me and ran our laced together fingers over a bone under his shirt. "It broke here." In my horror, I realized it was the exact same spot Denny had broken his arm.
Kellan shrugged, his face still serene. "They took me to the emergency room, my mom complaining the entire time that they were going to be late for a party. I don't know why I remember her saying that..." Looking over to the Christmas tree, Kellan shook his head. "Anyway, they checked me in, then left. I didn't see them again until Christmas night."
Leaning back on the couch, Kellan smiled wider as his story grew more and more awful. "There was this nurse there, and I guess she felt sorry for me or something, because I was all alone on Christmas morning." He looked over at the toy car in his hand, lifting it up to examine it closer. "She gave me a set of three Hot Wheels. A fire truck, a police car, and...a muscle car." He grinned as he met my eye. "Just like this one."
Shaking his head, he laughed a little. "I played with those cars all day..." Running the toy down my arm, he murmured, "But this one was my favorite. It was the only thing I wished I'd remembered to take to L.A. when I left home. But I forgot, and my parents...tossed it."
He met eyes with me again. "That Christmas was the best one I'd ever had, because I wasn't at home. That toy was the best gift I'd ever received, even better than my guitar I think, because the guitar was mainly a ploy from my parents to keep me out of their hair..." He lifted the car again. "This...was pure."
He swallowed, searching my eyes. "I thought I'd never see anything like that car again...how did you know to get me this?"
I shook my head, tears stinging the edges of my eyes. "It just...seemed like you."
Kellan frowned as he watched my eyes water and fill. "Hey, I didn't tell you that to make you feel sorry for me." He cupped my cheek. "I'm okay, Kiera." I nodded under his fingertips but a tear escaped me anyway. Brushing it aside with his thumb, he smiled at me. "I just wanted to let you know what it meant to me. To...thank you for letting me have this experience with you and your family. It means more than you'll ever really understand."
I shook my head. "No, I think I get it."
I kissed him lightly but my lip was trembling. Knowing I was going to start sobbing for him if I didn't change my thoughts, I shook my head and inhaled deep. "I could use some eggnog. You?"
Kellan smiled peacefully and shook his head. "No, I don't need anything."
I nodded, kissed his head, and hurried out of there. He didn't need or want my pity. He had dealt with his past a long time ago.
Brushing my fingers under my eyes, I ran into my mom in the kitchen. She smiled as she made another pot of coffee. "Kellan seems to be enjoying himself?"
Yes, more than she'd ever realize. I shook my head, forcing on the effortless smile that Kellan always wore. "Yeah, thank you so much for getting Dad to let him come. I know it was you, and I'm really..." I swallowed, the emotion of his story still with me, "I'm really grateful."
Mom frowned then came over to give me a hug. "Hey, it's alright. No need to get all blubbery."
I sighed at myself, hugging her back. "I know." Releasing her, I rested my head on her shoulder. She patted my arm then glanced down at the ring on my finger. She frowned for a moment and then looked back into the living room at Kellan.
Looking back with her, I could see that Anna had joined him on the couch and was flipping through her calendar with him. They were peering at something intently, Kellan laughing a bit and shaking his head. Watching the naturally beautiful pair, I sighed. Then I rubbed my ring with my thumb and smiled. He'd chosen me.
"Is that from Kellan?" my mom asked quietly.
I looked back at her and nodded. "Yeah, he got us both promise rings. Sweet, huh?"
She bit her lip, tilting her head. "Honey, I may disagree with how your father broached the subject, but I don't entirely disagree with him about Kellan." She shook her head, watching Kellan and Anna get into a playful wrapping paper fight. "He's so...attractive, Kiera, even more so in person than his pictures." Looking back at me, she frowned. "That sort of thing gets noticed by women and attractive men aren't always good with...one relationship. And even if he doesn't stray, it takes a special person to be able to handle all of the attention he'll receive. Are you sure you can be that woman? Are you sure you want to date him?"
She looked back at Kellan and my sister, and I suddenly felt like what she was really saying was that Anna, my beautiful, provocative, spontaneous, easy-going sister, was a better match for him. Frowning, I crossed my arms over my chest. "Yes, I'm sure. I know what you guys think of me, but Kellan sees more, he loves me."
Mom took a step back and narrowed her eyes at me. "What are you talking about, Kiera?"
I stiffened, not really wanting to talk about the constant references that I heard, not wanting to talk about the major differences between Anna and me, differences that had been pointed out to me my entire childhood. Mom squeezed my shoulder when I didn't answer her. When she repeated her question, I sighed, and muttered, "You know...that Anna's the beautiful one and I'm...I'm the smart one."
Mom sighed and squeezed me tight. "Oh, Kiera, honey. I hope we never made you feel that way, it was never our intention." Pulling back, she looked me in the eye. "That's not what we think. We're always telling people about both of our beautiful daughters, and they always agree with us. You're every bit as attractive as your sister, Kiera. I think you're the only one that doesn't see it."
Looking back into the living room, Mom shook her head. "But Anna...relies on her looks. It's become how she defines herself. Sometimes I worry that her looks are all she'll have, and when those eventually fade..."
