Effortless

Page 59

Anna smiled seductively at the crowd watching her, even reaching out to tousle one of the boy's hair; his smile was a little idiotic as she sashayed past. And they all leaned in to check out her ass. It made me roll my eyes, but I was used to that sort of thing. Anna too...it didn't even faze her.
She followed where Griffin was heading, and that, unfortunately, was to us. With a content sigh, he sat in the bench opposite us, unceremoniously tossing my bag out of the seat and onto the table. Anna sat next to him, her smile equally satisfied. At the very least, they pleased each other. Hopefully this was enough to satisfy Anna for a while.
Griffin smiled over at me, then Kellan. "Bedroom's free, if you want it?"
I was already shaking my head when Kellan said, "We're good, thanks." No way was I giving this audience a performance like my sister just had...not stone cold sober anyway.
Kellan watched some of the guys retreating to their "rooms," and looked back at me. "You want to get some sleep? You look tired."
Griffin chuckled, clearly hearing dirty words in Kellan's innocent question. Then he reached over to Anna and cupped her braless breast. When he murmured to her, "I just can't get enough of these," and leaned down to kiss one through her shirt, I cringed and looked up at Kellan.
"Yes...please."
Threading her fingers through Griffin's hair, Anna laid her head back and closed her eyes, enjoying his attention. As Kellan and I stood up, she huskily said, "See you in the morning, sis." Peeking one eye open, she added, "Have fun."
I smirked at her, resisting the urge to smack Griffin off her chest. Pausing in my escape from them, I told her, "We're catching an early flight tomorrow to Boise, then back home."
She closed her eyes, nodding, not caring in the least how or if we got back home. I sighed as I walked away, wishing I could be that cavalier.
A few guys that were still awake whistled at Kellan and me retreating through the curtain, one even clapping his shoulder. Shaking my head, I hoped they weren't too disappointed that nothing was going to happen. Well, no, after seeing their faces watching my sister, I sort of hoped they were a little disappointed.
Some of the bunks were full, their occupants already snoring, as Kellan helped me get into his in the bottom. I laughed a little as I got in. It kind of reminded me of summer camp. A really tight summer camp.
I laid on my side and backed as far into the wall as I could, to give Kellan as much space as I could. He laid on his side too, facing me, tangling his legs with mine. Pulling up a thin blanket near our feet, we cuddled into each other as best we could. Lying so close on the pillow that our noses touched, we smiled at each other.
He gave me a soft kiss as he reached a hand back to thread it through my hair. My heart increased a little as the intimacy of the moment surged through me. I found his lips in the near-dark, wanting to just kiss him for a while.
Light and languid, our lips moved together like we'd never been apart. Pulling back for a second, Kellan whispered, "I've missed this...I've missed you."
I leaned back, studying his face in the soft light. "I've missed you too...so much."
Just as my heart was swelling, staring at him as he stared at me, a voice above us said, "Less talking...more screwing."
A chuckle went around the room and I flushed, remembering that we weren't as alone as we seemed. Kellan thumped the ceiling of his bed with his fist. "Shut it, Mark."
I buried my head in Kellan's chest and he chuckled, rubbing my back. In my ear, he whispered, "I could finish what I started earlier...if you want to-"
His hand slinked down to my hip, rubbing over the back pocket and a part of me instantly did want him to finish. I knew I'd never be quiet enough though, not with how close we all were packed together, and I really didn't need to be embarrassed around every band member on this tour.
Biting my lip, I sighed and reluctantly shook my head. Kellan smiled, his hand coming back up to brush my face. "Another time then?"
I nodded and pulled his head down to me, so we could at least kiss a little bit.
I couldn't remember where I was when I woke up. I wasn't even really sure if I was awake at all. As Kellan's arms were wrapped around me, my head resting on his chest, I felt like I was still dreaming. It wasn't an absurd thought-I often dreamt of Kellan. Running my hand over his pecs, I wondered when I'd wake up. Probably when I got to the good part, that's when it always happened.
Sighing, I kissed his chest, wishing that, for once, this dream would let us finish. Exhaling contently, his arms squeezed me tighter. "Mornin'," he breathed into my hair.
It sent a shiver down my back and I smiled. Peeking up at him, I whispered, "Am I dreaming, or am I really waking up with you?"
He smiled down on me, adjusting himself so he could see me better. "You dream about waking up with me?"
I nodded, propping myself up to look over his body under the thin blanket. I frowned slightly. "You're usually nak*d in my dreams, though, so I must be awake."
Quietly laughing, he pulled me back to his chest. "You're usually nak*d in my dreams, too," he murmured, kissing my neck.
A thrill went through me, but it was halted by the snoring, coughing, and the occasional...unseemly noises going on around us. Kellan frowned. "Sorry, smelly bus of boys...not exactly romantic."
I sighed and stroked his face. "It's better than nothing." His hand clenched over mine as we settled onto his pillows, facing each other. Remembering the many ups and downs yesterday, I rubbed my thumb over his. "Hey, you mentioned that you wanted to tell me something last night...what was it?" I whispered, not sure if I was ready to hear it.
Kellan looked down, then back up. "I..." He looked past me, at where his phone was tucked in his cubby. "I..." Frowning slightly, he searched my face for a moment, then smiling, he shrugged. "I didn't tell you the bad part about getting signed."
I blinked, not expecting the conversation to go that way, and also having a horrid feeling that he'd just smoothly changed the subject. "What?" I whispered, lead forming in my stomach.
Looking down, he shook his head. "As soon as the tour ends in May, they want us in L.A., to record the album." He looked back up at me, his face apologetic. "In the meantime, the guys and I will be spending every free moment we have going through our songs, picking out the best ones...perfecting them." He shrugged. "We have to be ready when we get there..."
I sighed, my heart cracking a little. "You're basically telling me that you won't have any time to spend with me...for a while...aren't you?"
He swallowed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry...we need to do this, so I won't be able to visit, like I'd hoped. I'm sorry."
Now I swallowed. "It's okay...I understand." I looked down as I considered all of the moments together that we'd already missed, that we were going to miss...our first Valentine's Day as a couple had already gone by, the flowers he'd sent me long wilted. Our anniversary was fast approaching, in a couple of weeks, mid-March. Kellan's birthday was in April, mine was in May. My graduation...
My eyes snapped up to his, watery. "Could you make it back in June?"
He nodded, cupping my cheek. "I'm not missing your graduation...no matter what. I don't care if I have to walk out on a recording session...I'm not missing it, Kiera."
I smiled and sighed, knowing that I'd at least get to see him then...three months from now. And after that...I supposed they'd be touring again, to promote the album. As a little bit of sadness washed over me, he held me close and rubbed my back. So quietly that I almost didn't hear him, he whispered, "And there was something you wanted to tell me?"
I stiffened, not wanting to say it. He'd never go to L.A. if he knew that Denny was back in my life. He'd flip out if he realized that Denny was the friend that I was having lunch with, quite frequently. But really, I didn't want to tell Kellan about it...because I knew, with everything in me, that he'd lied about what he'd wanted to tell me. I was sure that the bit about not coming home was true, and it probably was something that he'd wanted to mention, but I was also sure that it hadn't been on his mind last night. I was sure it had nothing to do with whoever was calling him.
I bit my lip, not sure what to tell him. Propping myself up to look at him, I shook my head. "I love you, Kellan, and you've got nothing to worry about when it comes to me, but I don't think I can tell you just yet."
Frowning, he sat up on his elbows. "What? Why not?"
Guilt sweeping over me, I shook my head. "You're just going to have to believe in me."
His mouth dropped open a little and he glanced at his phone really quick. His mouth closed and I knew that he understood. He knew that I was aware that he hadn't really told me anything. That what he'd briefly wanted to tell me last night, and what he'd ended up telling me this morning, were two entirely different things. My eyes watered as I waited for him to open up, to tell me the truth. His eyes glossier, he only stared at me.
Swallowing, he nodded. "Okay," he whispered, and it broke my heart.
Kellan and I cuddled a lot and kissed a lot, but we didn't talk a lot after that. I felt a gap between us, and I hated leaving him with a wedge there, scared that it would only be driven deeper if we were apart. But he wasn't opening up to me, and I couldn't open up to him. There was no way around it but for one of us to cave, and I knew that neither of us would...not in the short time we had.
Sometime after I'd fallen asleep last night, Kellan had arranged a flight for Anna and me. When the bus finally arrived at its destination, Kellan arranged for a car to pick us all up later in the afternoon, just so we could spend as much time together as possible. Surprisingly, when it was time to go, Griffin came out to the airport to see us off. I wanted to take that as a good sign, but really, Griffin could've just wanted to get away for a moment.
Saying goodbye in the drop-off area, I searched Kellan's face, silently begging him to talk to me, and equally terrified that he would. Cupping my face, he kissed each cheek, then rested his head against mine. "Don't be mad about the flight," he murmured.
I gave him a sullen expression as I glanced at the departure board behind him. He'd booked us tickets straight back to Seattle, making my roundtrip ticket from Boise pretty much worthless. Shrugging at my expression, he smiled. "You have to work tonight. You don't want to have to mess around with a layover."
I sighed, knowing he was right. Shaking my head, I kissed him. "I know...thank you."
Kissing me back, he muttered, "Worth every penny."
Pulling back from him, ignoring Anna and Griffin molesting each other beside us, I tilted my head. "Kellan...?"
He raised his eyebrows, looking a little nervous and very reluctant. "Yeah?"
I almost put my hand out and asked for his phone. I wanted to. Especially when it had chirped this morning as we were eating breakfast. He'd ignored it, like he always did, and it drove me crazy, like it always did. But prying through his phone was not the girlfriend that I wanted to be. I'd asked him to believe in me, I'd have to do the same.
Exhaling slowly as I shook my head, I whispered, "I'll miss you."