Elphame's Choice
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Elphame crossed the Main Courtyard, calling good mornings in response to the workers who greeted her. She stopped by the gaily tinkling fountain. She'd have to remember to commission Danann to carve a stone bench so that she could sit and enjoy the beauty right here, in the heart of her castle. The gray morning cast a reluctant light through the unfinished roof, but it could not dim the brightness that glowed within her. Her smile reflected her secret joy, and she did not notice that several men who were making their way to the Great Hall for breakfast lost the thread of their conversation to stare, openmouthed at her brilliant beauty. Elphame trailed her fingers through the fountain's water, thinking of how long she had had to soak in her bathing pool that morning to rid her body of the unfamiliar tenderness that lingered from the night's lovemaking.
Lochlan.. . She wanted to shout his name aloud and tell all of Partholon that she loved and was loved in kind. That it had really happened - Epona had fashioned a lifemate for her; she would not have to live her life as a solitary creature, filling her days with the reflection of other people's love.
Clan MacCallan had to accept him as her mate. And if they didn't? Would she be willing to forsake her position as Chieftain and return to the Wastelands with her lover? The thought sent a shiver through her blood. With a sigh, she sat on the lip of the fountain's basin and stared up at marble girl she so closely resembled.
"What would you do if you were torn between two worlds?" she whispered.
"Sister-mine!"
Cuchulainn's blaring voice startled El, but the frown she turned on him quickly changed to a bright smile when she saw that Brenna walked at his side, her hand within his. Cu's hair looked damp and there was a cub-sized lump within his tunic.
"Good morning, Elphame," Brenna said.
El could tell by the flush that darkened the unscarred side of the Healer's face that her emotions were running high - she could well imagine how nerve-racking it must be for her. Much like Elphame, Brenna had never expected to find love, and when she had, it had come from a most unusual place. It was - to say the least - a turn of events that took some getting used to.
"Good morning, Brenna," she said warmly. Then her eyes glinted with humor. "It is good to see you, even if you have taken to spending time with questionable individuals and wild animals."
"Be serious, El," Cuchulainn said. "She'll think you really mean it."
Elphame grinned at Brenna. "I do mean it."
Brenna smiled back at her, and her face lost some of its nervous color.
Cuchulainn cleared his throat and then, to his sister's surprise, he dropped Brenna's hand and quickly covered the space between them to kneel on one knee in front of her. She quirked an eyebrow at him, but, noting his somber expression, she said nothing, waiting for his next move.
"Elphame, I come to formally ask your permission as Chieftain of Clan MacCallan to court your Healer, Brenna. You should know that I do so with the honorable intention of marriage."
Elphame wanted to shout with joy and throw her arms around her brother, but she would not dishonor the solemnity of his request, nor would she show disrespect to her friend who stood so silently waiting for the answer that would prove that she was either accepted or rejected, once and for all. Elphame's gaze met Brenna's.
"Have you no living mother or father to whom Cuchulainn could take his suit?"
"No. I was the only child of my parents. They have been dead for a decade."
"Then it is proper as The MacCallan that I stand in their stead. Brenna, do you willingly accept Cuchulainn's suit? And, before you answer know that I will support you, no matter your choice." She didn't need to glance at her brother to feel his scowl.
Brenna's doelike eyes shifted from her Chieftain to the warrior who knelt in front of her. He did not turn to look at her, but kept his gaze trained on his sister. She could see the tense set of his broad shoulders and she realized that that tension was because he truly was worried about her response. The knowledge that he did not take her for granted filled her heart and she had to blink rapidly to keep her tears from falling. Cuchulainn had chosen her above all women, and now he was waiting to hear whether she would accept him.
"Yes," she said in a strong, clear voice. "I do accept Cuchulainn's suit, with all my heart."
"Then, as her Chieftain, I give you, Cuchulainn, permission to court Brenna. And as your sister I want you to know how very happy your choice has made me." On impulse, Elphame raised her hands and tilted her face to the hazy morning light trickling in from above them. "I ask Epona's blessing on your union."
The moment Elphame evoked the Goddess's name, she felt the warmth of power tingle through her body, and the foggy morning sky suddenly blurred. For the length of time it took to draw a breath, time seemed to suspend. In that frozen moment Elphame felt a great rush of sadness and heard the sound of weeping.
She blinked and the illusion was gone, leaving only a sense of loss and a chill in her blood. Cuchulainn was watching her with a strange expression and Elphame hastily covered her discomfort by clapping her brother on his shoulder. "Arise, Cu, you've chosen well."
The clan members who had stopped to watch broke into spontaneous cheers. Soon the three of them were surrounded by a host of well-wishers and Elphame found it easy to shake off the eerie feeling the fleeting vision had left her.
"El, you know what this means?" Cu put one arm around Brenna and tucked the other through his sister's. "We may as well call Mother. If she hears by any other means, she will never leave us in peace."
Elphame smiled through the irony of her brother's words. "Yes, let's call Mama. I was just thinking that it was time she came for a visit."
Elphame stood alone in the Chieftain's Tower. This time she didn't gaze out from the balcony that overlooked the forest, instead she leaned against the casement of one of the long, narrow windows that faced the B'an Sea. The day hadn't cleared; it had only lightened enough to allow the sky to serve as a brilliant backdrop to illuminate the storm that was rolling in from the west. Huge, billowing clouds pregnant with rain were being blown ever closer to the coast. Elphame and Cuchulainn had ordered the clan to double-check the moorings of the tents and had even moved several of them within the castle walls. Restoration work paused while they readied themselves for the spring storm.
Lightning rippled across the sky and then down to slice the distant water. It reminded Elphame of another night that had been filled with rain and thunder and pain - as well as the miracle of her first meeting with Lochlan. She knew she should curse the storm for slowing her work on the castle, but she could not deny the excitement within her that seemed to build with each crash of thunder and flash of lightning. She would go to him, and she would only have to wait until the sky opened with cloaking rain to do so. It hadn't been hard to be assured of privacy, although she did feel a twinge of guilt at telling Brenna that her headache had returned. The Healer had assured her that it was the change in weather irritating her recently healed wound, and had kindly brewed her a tea to help her sleep deeply through the evening and night. Elphame had, of course, not touched the tea. Brenna would not check on her until morning, Cuchulainn's hot gaze and whispered words had made it clear that the two new lovers would be very busy throughout the night.
No more than seven days, she reminded herself. She only had to keep up her charade for just a few more days. Then she would reveal her secret and trust that her family would accept it, as they had accepted her all of her life.
"Do ye not think the tower is a good place fer thinking, lass?"
This time the start of surprise at the old spirit's appearance lasted only a moment, and she realized that she must have been hoping for his company.
"Yes, I do think so. Did you come here often?"
He nodded his head and quirked a semitransparent eyebrow at her. "Aye, that I did. Especially when I had a problem that wouldna let me be."
"Did you always want to be The MacCallan?"
Both brows raised as he studied her, considering the question. "Aye, that I did."
"Did you..." She paused, and turned from the view of the turbulent sea to look into his eyes. "Did you ever feel like you wanted to run away?"
"Aye, lassie. " His smile was filled with understanding.
"But you didn't."
His eyes sparkled. "And neither will you. To be The MacCallan is in yer blood. You canna deny your fate, any more that I could escape mine. " He crossed over to her and put a cool hand gently on her shoulder. "It would do ye well to remember that lass. Fate can be a cruel mistress. She brings great sadness as well as great joy."
The brief vision she had experienced earlier in the day suddenly surfaced in her memory and she felt the chill in her blood return.
"Today Cuchulainn declared his intention to court and marry Brenna, and she accepted him."
The old spirit nodded thoughtfully, but remained silent.
Elphame drew a deep breath, trying to decide if she truly wanted to know anything more. She was in love; Cuchulainn was in love. Wouldn't it be easier if she just drifted on the tide of their mutual happiness, at least for a few more days? She let out the breath she'd drawn. She already knew the answer to that question - it resonated through her blood. Elphame could not choose ignorance, even if it was deceptively blissful.
"I evoked Epona's blessing on their joining, and when I did I experienced an odd illusion."
"Odd?"
She swallowed. "Odd as in disturbing. I heard weeping and I was filled with a great sadness. Then it was gone as quickly as it came."
The spirit took his hand from her shoulder and shifted his gaze so that he was staring out at the B'an Sea.
"Did no others see the sign?"
Numbly, Elphame shook her head. "No one seemed to notice anything. The people around us cheered.
Cu didn't say anything about it, and all Brenna did was glow with happiness."
The old ghost turned to face her.
"Epona sent the sign for me alone." She spoke her inner most terrifying thoughts aloud to the silent spirit.
"It is a foretelling of what is to come. The Goddess is preparing me."
"'Tis the responsibility of The MacCallan alone. And it will be yer strength that will be needed when the time comes." His echoing voice sounded sad and weary.
"I could stop them!" She felt cold and nauseous. "As The MacCallan I could forbid their joining."
"At what price, lass? You canna trick fate, but ye can cause much unhappiness in trying to do so.
1 do know yer pain. I had a sister, a bonny young lass who was as dear to me as was my own heart. Would that I could have saved Morrigan pain"
Elphame's heart pounded. His sister - Lochlan's mother. Did he know? What was he really trying to tell her?
The old spirit's gaze drifted back out to sea. "Ready yourself or the storm, 'tis coming ___"
Before she could question him further, the spirit's form faded and drifted through the floor of the tower, leaving Elphame alone with her silent sadness. Thunder cracked and the sky finally opened, pelting the castle with rain. Elphame turned from the window and made her way slowly down the winding stairs. Her shoulders slumped; she was cold and empty. She didn't feel strong and she didn't feel like the Clan Chieftain - she felt like a frightened sister.
And it will be yer strength that will be needed when the time comes.
The ghost's words whispered incessantly through her troubled mind. She wanted peace from them___
There was only one place she would be sure to find peace that night.
Lochlan.. . She wanted to shout his name aloud and tell all of Partholon that she loved and was loved in kind. That it had really happened - Epona had fashioned a lifemate for her; she would not have to live her life as a solitary creature, filling her days with the reflection of other people's love.
Clan MacCallan had to accept him as her mate. And if they didn't? Would she be willing to forsake her position as Chieftain and return to the Wastelands with her lover? The thought sent a shiver through her blood. With a sigh, she sat on the lip of the fountain's basin and stared up at marble girl she so closely resembled.
"What would you do if you were torn between two worlds?" she whispered.
"Sister-mine!"
Cuchulainn's blaring voice startled El, but the frown she turned on him quickly changed to a bright smile when she saw that Brenna walked at his side, her hand within his. Cu's hair looked damp and there was a cub-sized lump within his tunic.
"Good morning, Elphame," Brenna said.
El could tell by the flush that darkened the unscarred side of the Healer's face that her emotions were running high - she could well imagine how nerve-racking it must be for her. Much like Elphame, Brenna had never expected to find love, and when she had, it had come from a most unusual place. It was - to say the least - a turn of events that took some getting used to.
"Good morning, Brenna," she said warmly. Then her eyes glinted with humor. "It is good to see you, even if you have taken to spending time with questionable individuals and wild animals."
"Be serious, El," Cuchulainn said. "She'll think you really mean it."
Elphame grinned at Brenna. "I do mean it."
Brenna smiled back at her, and her face lost some of its nervous color.
Cuchulainn cleared his throat and then, to his sister's surprise, he dropped Brenna's hand and quickly covered the space between them to kneel on one knee in front of her. She quirked an eyebrow at him, but, noting his somber expression, she said nothing, waiting for his next move.
"Elphame, I come to formally ask your permission as Chieftain of Clan MacCallan to court your Healer, Brenna. You should know that I do so with the honorable intention of marriage."
Elphame wanted to shout with joy and throw her arms around her brother, but she would not dishonor the solemnity of his request, nor would she show disrespect to her friend who stood so silently waiting for the answer that would prove that she was either accepted or rejected, once and for all. Elphame's gaze met Brenna's.
"Have you no living mother or father to whom Cuchulainn could take his suit?"
"No. I was the only child of my parents. They have been dead for a decade."
"Then it is proper as The MacCallan that I stand in their stead. Brenna, do you willingly accept Cuchulainn's suit? And, before you answer know that I will support you, no matter your choice." She didn't need to glance at her brother to feel his scowl.
Brenna's doelike eyes shifted from her Chieftain to the warrior who knelt in front of her. He did not turn to look at her, but kept his gaze trained on his sister. She could see the tense set of his broad shoulders and she realized that that tension was because he truly was worried about her response. The knowledge that he did not take her for granted filled her heart and she had to blink rapidly to keep her tears from falling. Cuchulainn had chosen her above all women, and now he was waiting to hear whether she would accept him.
"Yes," she said in a strong, clear voice. "I do accept Cuchulainn's suit, with all my heart."
"Then, as her Chieftain, I give you, Cuchulainn, permission to court Brenna. And as your sister I want you to know how very happy your choice has made me." On impulse, Elphame raised her hands and tilted her face to the hazy morning light trickling in from above them. "I ask Epona's blessing on your union."
The moment Elphame evoked the Goddess's name, she felt the warmth of power tingle through her body, and the foggy morning sky suddenly blurred. For the length of time it took to draw a breath, time seemed to suspend. In that frozen moment Elphame felt a great rush of sadness and heard the sound of weeping.
She blinked and the illusion was gone, leaving only a sense of loss and a chill in her blood. Cuchulainn was watching her with a strange expression and Elphame hastily covered her discomfort by clapping her brother on his shoulder. "Arise, Cu, you've chosen well."
The clan members who had stopped to watch broke into spontaneous cheers. Soon the three of them were surrounded by a host of well-wishers and Elphame found it easy to shake off the eerie feeling the fleeting vision had left her.
"El, you know what this means?" Cu put one arm around Brenna and tucked the other through his sister's. "We may as well call Mother. If she hears by any other means, she will never leave us in peace."
Elphame smiled through the irony of her brother's words. "Yes, let's call Mama. I was just thinking that it was time she came for a visit."
Elphame stood alone in the Chieftain's Tower. This time she didn't gaze out from the balcony that overlooked the forest, instead she leaned against the casement of one of the long, narrow windows that faced the B'an Sea. The day hadn't cleared; it had only lightened enough to allow the sky to serve as a brilliant backdrop to illuminate the storm that was rolling in from the west. Huge, billowing clouds pregnant with rain were being blown ever closer to the coast. Elphame and Cuchulainn had ordered the clan to double-check the moorings of the tents and had even moved several of them within the castle walls. Restoration work paused while they readied themselves for the spring storm.
Lightning rippled across the sky and then down to slice the distant water. It reminded Elphame of another night that had been filled with rain and thunder and pain - as well as the miracle of her first meeting with Lochlan. She knew she should curse the storm for slowing her work on the castle, but she could not deny the excitement within her that seemed to build with each crash of thunder and flash of lightning. She would go to him, and she would only have to wait until the sky opened with cloaking rain to do so. It hadn't been hard to be assured of privacy, although she did feel a twinge of guilt at telling Brenna that her headache had returned. The Healer had assured her that it was the change in weather irritating her recently healed wound, and had kindly brewed her a tea to help her sleep deeply through the evening and night. Elphame had, of course, not touched the tea. Brenna would not check on her until morning, Cuchulainn's hot gaze and whispered words had made it clear that the two new lovers would be very busy throughout the night.
No more than seven days, she reminded herself. She only had to keep up her charade for just a few more days. Then she would reveal her secret and trust that her family would accept it, as they had accepted her all of her life.
"Do ye not think the tower is a good place fer thinking, lass?"
This time the start of surprise at the old spirit's appearance lasted only a moment, and she realized that she must have been hoping for his company.
"Yes, I do think so. Did you come here often?"
He nodded his head and quirked a semitransparent eyebrow at her. "Aye, that I did. Especially when I had a problem that wouldna let me be."
"Did you always want to be The MacCallan?"
Both brows raised as he studied her, considering the question. "Aye, that I did."
"Did you..." She paused, and turned from the view of the turbulent sea to look into his eyes. "Did you ever feel like you wanted to run away?"
"Aye, lassie. " His smile was filled with understanding.
"But you didn't."
His eyes sparkled. "And neither will you. To be The MacCallan is in yer blood. You canna deny your fate, any more that I could escape mine. " He crossed over to her and put a cool hand gently on her shoulder. "It would do ye well to remember that lass. Fate can be a cruel mistress. She brings great sadness as well as great joy."
The brief vision she had experienced earlier in the day suddenly surfaced in her memory and she felt the chill in her blood return.
"Today Cuchulainn declared his intention to court and marry Brenna, and she accepted him."
The old spirit nodded thoughtfully, but remained silent.
Elphame drew a deep breath, trying to decide if she truly wanted to know anything more. She was in love; Cuchulainn was in love. Wouldn't it be easier if she just drifted on the tide of their mutual happiness, at least for a few more days? She let out the breath she'd drawn. She already knew the answer to that question - it resonated through her blood. Elphame could not choose ignorance, even if it was deceptively blissful.
"I evoked Epona's blessing on their joining, and when I did I experienced an odd illusion."
"Odd?"
She swallowed. "Odd as in disturbing. I heard weeping and I was filled with a great sadness. Then it was gone as quickly as it came."
The spirit took his hand from her shoulder and shifted his gaze so that he was staring out at the B'an Sea.
"Did no others see the sign?"
Numbly, Elphame shook her head. "No one seemed to notice anything. The people around us cheered.
Cu didn't say anything about it, and all Brenna did was glow with happiness."
The old ghost turned to face her.
"Epona sent the sign for me alone." She spoke her inner most terrifying thoughts aloud to the silent spirit.
"It is a foretelling of what is to come. The Goddess is preparing me."
"'Tis the responsibility of The MacCallan alone. And it will be yer strength that will be needed when the time comes." His echoing voice sounded sad and weary.
"I could stop them!" She felt cold and nauseous. "As The MacCallan I could forbid their joining."
"At what price, lass? You canna trick fate, but ye can cause much unhappiness in trying to do so.
1 do know yer pain. I had a sister, a bonny young lass who was as dear to me as was my own heart. Would that I could have saved Morrigan pain"
Elphame's heart pounded. His sister - Lochlan's mother. Did he know? What was he really trying to tell her?
The old spirit's gaze drifted back out to sea. "Ready yourself or the storm, 'tis coming ___"
Before she could question him further, the spirit's form faded and drifted through the floor of the tower, leaving Elphame alone with her silent sadness. Thunder cracked and the sky finally opened, pelting the castle with rain. Elphame turned from the window and made her way slowly down the winding stairs. Her shoulders slumped; she was cold and empty. She didn't feel strong and she didn't feel like the Clan Chieftain - she felt like a frightened sister.
And it will be yer strength that will be needed when the time comes.
The ghost's words whispered incessantly through her troubled mind. She wanted peace from them___
There was only one place she would be sure to find peace that night.
