Embrace the Night

Chapter Twenty

She was never going to see him again. Finally, after three long months, she had resigned herself to that fact. She had stopped looking for him in the audience while she danced, she had stopped searching for his face in the crowds that lingered outside the theater, she had stopped waiting for his knock at the door.
And she had told Maurice that she would marry him in the spring.
She glanced at him now as he donned his hat and coat. He was indeed a handsome young man, lean and fit from hours of dancing and exercise. The ballerinas in the corps de ballet eyed her with envy because she had everything. She was the prima ballerina. Her name was well known in Venice and London and Paris. And she was going to marry Maurice, the premier danseurof the company. Perhaps, one day, they would even form their own ballet company.
She walked him to the door of her apartment, accepted his kiss, bade him good-bye.
Closing the door, she leaned back against it and closed her eyes. She had everything she had ever wanted, so why was she so unhappy? Why did she have to force herself to smile when she was with Maurice? Why did his kisses leave her cold and unmoved?
Because of Gabriel. Always Gabriel. Forever Gabriel. He was out of her life, but he would never be out of her heart, and try as she might, she would never make it so.
"Gabriel." His name was a sob on her lips.
"Cara."
She whirled around, her heart climbing into her throat at the sound of his voice, at the world of tenderness in his endearment for her.
"Gabriel!" She stared at him, unable to believe he was there, that she hadn't conjured his image from the depths of her aching heart.
He wore black breeches, black boots, and a dark green shirt. His cloak fell from shoulders even broader than she remembered. His hair was the color of ebony, his eyes the dark gray of storm-tossed clouds.
The silence stretched between them.
She longed to run into his arms, to lay her head on his chest and cry out all the unhappiness of the past three months.
He yearned to hold her close, to assure himself that she was well.
But she was afraid of being rejected.
And he was afraid that if he touched her again, he would never, ever let her go.
And then she saw the aching loneliness in the depths of his eyes and knew she would risk anything, even the pain of rejection, to comfort him, if only for a moment.
And he knew that he had been fighting a losing battle since the moment he first held her.
"Cara."
Just that one word. That was all he said. But it broke the barrier between them. In less than a heartbeat, she was enfolded in his arms, tears of joy flowing down her cheeks. And he was murmuring her name over and over again, his loneliness banished forever by the sight of her tears - tears of love, of happiness, of acceptance.
He held her close for a long moment, feeling as though he had come home at last, and then he bent his head and brushed his lips across hers. And she melted into him, her arms stealing around his waist, holding him as if she would never let him go.
He kissed her again, more deeply this time, letting himself absorb her warmth, her sweetness.
"Ah, cara," he murmured, "if you only knew how much I've missed you."
"No more than I missed you." She gazed into his eyes. "I tried to call you with my mind."
Gabriel nodded. "I heard you."
"Why didn't you answer?"
"You must know why."
"Because you're a..."
"Vampire."
She nodded, wondering why the word was so hard to say. In her heart, she knew it was true, but deep inside she believed that if she never said the word, the truth would go away.
"Sara." He rested his chin on the top of her head.
"Why have you come back?" she asked tremulously.
"Do you want me to go?" He had told himself that if she no longer held any affection for him, he would find Nina and do whatever she asked in exchange for her promise to spare Sara's life.
"No! Oh, Gabriel, nothing's the same without you. Please don't leave me again."
"I won't," he promised. "If you're sure you want me to stay, I'll stay."
"I'm sure."
"And what of Maurice Delacroix?"
Maurice! Guilt washed through her. She had promised to marry Maurice in the spring.
At her silence, Gabriel drew back so he could see her face. "What is it, cara?"
"I..."
A sudden heaviness settled over Gabriel. Had she fallen in love with the other man in his absence? "Sara?"
"I... I didn't think I would ever see you again," she stammered, "so... so I..." She swallowed hard. "I told Maurice I'd marry him."
"I see."
"But I don't want Maurice! I want you."
"Do you?"
"Yes! You've got to believe me. I only said I'd marry him because it didn't matter. If I couldn't have you, it didn't matter. Don't you see?"
"Has he made love to you?" He spoke the words calmly, as if her reply was of no real import, knowing all the while that he would kill Delacroix with his bare hands if he'd dared do more than kiss Sara good night.
"Of course not," Sara replied indignantly. She studied Gabriel's face anxiously. "You believe me, don't you?"
He nodded, a soft smile curving his lips. "I would know if you were lying, cara."
Gently, he enfolded her in his embrace once again, conscious of the warmth of her skin, the life that flowed through her, the steady beat of her heart. She was so young, so alive.
"Gabriel? You didn't tell me what made you decide to come back after all this time."
He let out a long sigh, knowing she deserved the truth. "I'm afraid I've put you in danger, Sara."
"Me? How?"
"It's a long story. Come, let us sit down and be comfortable."
Taking her hand, he led her to the sofa and sat down, drawing her down beside him. He glanced around the room while he gathered his thoughts, absently noting that the furnishings were new.
"You remember the story I told you about how I came to be a vampire?"
Sara nodded.
"The woman who brought me over came to see me in Spain. She wanted me to be her lover again."
Sara stared up at him, her eyes filled with jealousy at the thought of Gabriel caressing another woman. "You never told me she'd been your lover."
"It was a long time ago. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen."
"Oh. And did you... did she... ?"
"No, cara," Gabriel replied quietly, "we didn't. But when I refused, she became angry and threatened my life." He paused a moment. "And yours."
"Mine? But why?"
"She is also jealous, cara."
Sara frowned. "How does she know about me?"
Gabriel shrugged. "I don't know. Perhaps she's been following me."
"And she threatened to kill me?"
"Not exactly."
Sara sat very still, her whole body suddenly cold. "What, exactly?"
"She threatened to make you one of us."
"No!" There was a wealth of horror, of revulsion, in that single word of denial.
"That's why I came back, Sara. To protect you, if I can."
" Ifyoucan?"
Gabriel nodded. "She's a very old and very powerful vampire. I'm not sure I have the ability to thwart her."
Sara stared at him, more afraid than she had ever been in her life. If Gabriel, who was possessed of supernatural strength and power, wasn't sure he could protect her, what chance did she have?
Vampire. She loved Gabriel with her whole heart and soul, yet she knew she would rather be dead than become what Gabriel was, a man cut off from humanity, from God. She didn't want to live off the blood of others, to spend endless days in darkness. She wanted a home, a husband, children...
She began to shiver convulsively, and Gabriel drew her into his arms and held her tight. Though he made no conscious effort, he could read Sara's thoughts, and he quietly damned himself for not acquiescing to Nina's demands. He should have remembered how spiteful she could be. He should have done anything, promised anything, to temper her anger. Perhaps it wasn't too late...
"No!"
Startled, he glanced down at Sara to find her staring up at him, her wide blue eyes filled with jealousy.
"Don't even think of going to that... that woman."
"It might be for the best, cara."
"No."
"Sara, she has the power to hypnotize others to do her will. If she manages to destroy me, you'll be at her mercy."
"I don't care. I won't let you go to her."
Gabriel raised one black brow. " Youwon't let me?"
Sara shook her head. "You're mine now. I won't share you with her or any other woman."
"Ah, my sweet Sara, what a tiger you are."
"I love you, Gabriel."
"Sara..."
"I know," she replied. "I know." And taking him by the hand, she led him into her bedroom and closed the door.
"Are you sure, cara?"
She looked deep into his eyes, remembering the nights he had come to her in the orphanage, the nights he had taken her to the ballet, to the opera. He had saved her life, turned her dream of being a ballerina into reality. She had once thought him an angel; now she knew that he was not an angel at all, but a man who was cursed to spend his life in darkness, a creature of the night.
The man she loved.
"I'm sure, Gabriel," she whispered.
"Are you?"
He turned her so that she was facing the looking glass in the corner, and then he stood beside her, his arm wrapped around her waist.
They stood side by side, but only her reflection stared back at them.
"I'm a vampire, Sara Jayne. I can only share half of your life. I can't give you children. I'll never grow old. Can you live with that?"
She glanced at Gabriel, standing beside her, and then stared at the mirror again. She could hear him. She could touch him, yet he cast no reflection at all.
"Sara?"
"Are you still trying to get rid of me, Gabriel?" She reached up to caress his cheek, but in the glass she was touching only empty air. "Don't you know that's impossible?"
"I just want you to be sure."
With a sigh, she took him in her arms and kissed him, her tongue seeking his as she rubbed her breasts against his chest. "I'm sure, my angel," she whispered. She ran her hands over his shoulders, down his arms. "Very sure."
With a low growl, he swung her into his arms and carried her to the bed. Eager now, he removed her clothing, his body trembling with yearning as her soft curves were revealed to his gaze. How beautiful she was! And she wanted him. It was incredible.
When he started to undress, she stayed his hand, then bent to the task herself, letting her hands glide over his chest as she removed his shirt, reacquainting herself with the hard planes of his body.
He groaned low in his throat as her hands aroused him. And then he couldn't wait any longer. Pressing her down to the mattress, he covered her body with his, her name a sigh on his lips as their bodies merged and became one.
She held him close, murmuring his name over and over again as the passion between them burned hotter, brighter, rivaling the energy and the heat of the sun.
She was all the light he would ever need, soft and warm, her touch filling the emptiness of eternity, driving the loneliness from his heart.
He felt her shudder beneath him, heard her gasp his name. A moment later, he threw back his head, his body convulsing one last time.
For a long moment, he held her close, his face buried in the curve of her neck. Knowing he must be crushing her, he rolled onto his side, his body folding around hers, holding her close. Too soon, the dawn would be upon them. But for now, for this brief span of time, she was his to hold, and to love.
He stirred with the coming of dawn, and his movements awakened Sara. Propping herself up on one arm, she watched him dress.
"Where are you going?"
He made a vague gesture with his hand. "I need to find a new lair."
"Stay."
"No."
"Why not?"
Why, indeed? She knew what he was; he had no need to hide himself from her.
"You can rest in here, as you did before."
"I would have your promise that you won't enter the room until nightfall."
She sat up, the covers tucked under her arms, and he thought how beautiful she looked, with her hair falling over her shoulders in glorious disarray, her lips slightly swollen from his kisses.
"Why?" Sara asked candidly. "Don't you trust me?"
His unflinching gaze met hers. "With my life, cara, but I would rather you didn't see me while I sleep."
Head cocked to one side, she regarded him curiously, wondering what he didn't want her to see.
"Please, cara."
"Very well." She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, quickly gathering the clothing she would need for the day.
"Sara, be careful today. Nina could be in Paris. She might have summoned help. Keep the doors and windows locked. Don't open the door for anyone you don't know."
"I have a rehearsal this afternoon."
"Is Maurice picking you up?"
A flush rose to her cheeks. "Yes."
"Good. Stay close to him. Be sure he brings you home."
"A most unusual request," she teased, "coming from you."
"I don't want you to be alone."
"What about you? What if she sends someone after you?"
"I'm not totally helpless during the day, Sara," he said, hoping to ease her mind. And it was true, up to a point.
She worried her lower lip with her teeth for a moment, then sighed. "Maybe I should stay home."
Gabriel clenched his fists at his sides, wishing again that he had agreed to spend the night with Nina, to pleasure her as she desired. But for his stupid pride, his revulsion at the idea of being Nina's plaything, even for one night, Sara would not now be in danger.
"Gabriel?"
"I think you'll be all right, cara. After rehearsal, I want you to buy some garlic and hang it over your doors and windows. Have you a cross? Good, wear it when you go out."
"You're frightening me."
"I know, but you need to be prepared."
He gathered her into his arms, wishing he could spend the day at her side. He thought briefly of taking her away from Paris, but wherever they went, Nina would find them. She would sense his presence, as surely as he could sense hers.
"I love you, Sara Jayne. Be careful."
The sun was up. He could feel the strength draining from his body, and he sat down on the edge of the bed as the lethargy slowly began to steal over him.
"Sara, cover the window."
"What? Oh!" She flew out of his arms and quickly hung a heavy quilt over the window, effectively blocking out the small amount of light that had penetrated the curtains. "Is that better?"
"Fine. Come, sit beside me."
She did as he asked, her arm sliding around his waist. "What's it like when you sleep during the day?"
"It's like death, cara. When I was first made, it frightened me more than anything else. I learned to accept the darkness, the blood, but every time the sun came up was like dying all over again."
She tightened her arm around him, not knowing what to say.
"Gradually, as I grew stronger, I discovered I could stay awake for a short while after the sun came up, and rise before the sun set, so long as I stayed out of the light."
"Do you dream while you sleep?"
"No. And yet, there have been times when I was aware of you, of what you were doing. When the orphanage caught fire, I knew you were in pain, but there was nothing I could do." He gazed into her eyes, remembering how helpless he had been. "It was a terrible feeling, knowing you needed me and there was nothing I could do."
"But you did help me," she reminded him. "If not for you, I'd still be confined to that chair."
"And now, because of me, your life is in danger."
"I don't care! I wouldn't trade a minute of the time we've had together. Not a minute. And maybe she won't come looking for us. Maybe she was only bluffing."
"Maybe," Gabriel said. And maybe the sun wouldn't shine and the rain wouldn't fall.
He held her a moment longer, and then sent her away. "Your promise, cara," he said, not wanting her to see him when the deathlike sleep was upon him. "Remember your promise."
"I remember." She kissed him one more time, then left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.