Enjoying the Chase
Page 17
She giggled, biting her lip excitedly as I reached between our bodies pulling at her clothes desperately; desperate to feel something other than confusion and hurt.
~ Rosie ~
I felt sick; DJ was clearly in pain and I could do nothing about it. I turned to Josh. “What happened?” I snapped accusingly.
He frowned angrily. “Don’t you dare blame me for this. This isn’t my fault! He was jumping on the bed, I’d told him not to do it, but he carried on and then fell off,” he retorted, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
I groaned. DJ did like to jump on beds, and I’d told him time and time again not to do it, I couldn’t really blame Josh for this.
“Okay, sorry.”
His face softened as he looked at me apologetically. “It’s alright. I’m sorry I had to call you away from your date.”
Holy fudgeballs, my date! I turned back to Nate, knowing that he must be wondering what on earth was going on. I hadn’t told him about DJ yet so hearing him call me Momma would have knocked him for six. But as I turned, I noticed that he wasn’t there.
My eyes widened. Had he seen DJ, heard him call me Momma, and then left? The air left my lungs quickly. Of course that would be his reaction. I’d already known that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me once I let slip that I had a son – that was one of the reasons I was delaying in telling him. I liked the attention. I’d never had anyone treat me so nicely and want to be with me like that. Hell, I hadn’t even been on a date with anyone since I split up with Josh three years ago, so I loved the attention and didn’t want it to end.
Deep down I knew it was selfish not to tell him, but all I’d wanted to do was enjoy the company of an extremely hot guy while he looked at me with those bedroom eyes of his. What I hadn’t realised when I’d first agreed to a date, was that I’d start to like him. I’d just thought it would be nice to go out with someone a couple of times, have some fun, and think about something else other than life as a single mother. I never expected to want to see more of him. If I was honest, I never expected him to be as amazing as he is. With him looking the way he did, I didn’t think there would be much else to him other than his cocky, flirty attitude, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Where did he go?” Josh asked, looking over my shoulder.
I shrugged, pretending I wasn’t bothered but, in actual fact, I felt a little sick with disappointment. But my son’s little whimper of pain immediately pushed all thoughts of Nate from my mind.
Six hours later and DJ was finally allowed to leave. He’d fractured his wrist but it wasn’t too bad so, thankfully, they didn’t have to re-set it, just put a plaster cast on for six weeks. They’d given him meds for the pain, so he was currently in a deep sleep in the back of the car.
As we pulled up at my apartment, Josh looked at me apologetically again; he’d been doing that a lot tonight, but for once this wasn’t his fault.
“I’ll carry him upstairs for you,” he mumbled, getting out and going to the back seat, carefully lifting DJ into his arms. I smiled gratefully and headed up to unlock the doors and pull the sheets back on his bed so Josh could put him straight in. I hovered around behind him worriedly. As a mother, the worst thing in the world was seeing your child in pain and knowing you couldn’t help them.
“Thanks, Josh. If you want to come over tomorrow and see him that’s fine, we won’t be going anywhere.”
DJ didn’t see his dad that often because Josh could be a little flaky and cancel on plans at the drop of a hat. I hated having to explain to DJ why Daddy wasn’t coming to get him like he’d promised. The disappointed look on his face always broke my heart a little. Thankfully, since we’d moved to LA, it made it easier for him to see him now that we were closer and he didn’t have to drive for two hours to pick him up. So far, he hadn’t actually cancelled yet.
“Yeah? Okay, cool. I need to bring his weekend stuff over anyway,” he whispered, as he pulled the bedroom door closed quietly.
“Yeah, I’ll need that damn Woody doll back before bedtime tomorrow,” I grimaced. DJ was so into Toy Story it was unreal, actually, anything Disney and he was there with bells on.
Josh headed towards the door. “I’ll go and let you get some sleep.”
Now that he’d mentioned sleep I couldn’t help but yawn, it was past three in the morning already.
“Bye then, and thanks for the ride home.” I yawned, waving, and then locking the door before heading to bed, not even bothering to change out of my clothes.
I expected sleep to come quickly, but it didn’t. Instead, I lay awake for another hour wondering if I’d just lost someone potentially important from my life. I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if I’d told Nate sooner about DJ. I’d only planned on leaving it for another couple of dates before I told him anyway, at that point he probably would have run away from me as fast as his legs could carry him. I knew that a guy like Nate wouldn’t want anything to do with a single mother, so I’d planned on making the most of being treated like a normal woman for just a few more dates.
I groaned and rolled over, squeezing my eyes shut tight, trying to think of something else so I could fall asleep. In the end, I recited the alphabet backwards until I was so bored I could stay awake no longer.
I woke in the morning to the sound of crying. I jumped out of bed so fast it actually made my head spin as I darted out of my room and into DJ’s. He was sitting up in the bed, sobbing. I sat down and wrapped my arms around him, rocking him gently.
“Okay, Baby? Does it hurt?” I asked, stroking his hair. He shook his head and sniffed loudly. “Then why are you crying?” I asked, feeling sick with worry.
“I left Woody at Daddy’s!” he wailed. I laughed with relief. “He would have been on his owns, and he would’ve been scared without me there all night!” He looked at me with his big teary brown eyes and I couldn’t help but smile at him.
“No, Baby, Daddy was watching him for you. He said he’d let Woody sleep in his bed so he didn’t miss you too much.” I lied, kissing his forehead and smoothing his messy bed hair.
A weak smile twitched at the corners of his mouth as he wiped his tears with his good hand. “Can we go gets him back today?” he asked, pouting pleadingly.
“Daddy’s going to bring him back for you. Come on, let’s get some breakfast.” I lifted him out of the bed and hugged him tightly to my side, carrying him through the apartment and sitting him up at the table ready to eat. He sat there, munching his way through a bowl of cereal, while I just watched him and silently thanked God that he’d broken his arm instead of his neck.
DJ kept glancing at his cast with a small frown on his face. I knew exactly what would cheer him up though. “Hey, Baby, you know what would be really cool?”
He shook his head looking at me curiously. “No, what?”
“We could ask Auntie Anna to draw on your cast. I bet if you found a really good picture of Woody or Buzz that she’d be able to draw it on there for you. How cool would that be?” I offered, knowing he’d love that idea.
He gasped. “Will she?”
“Yeah, I bet she will. You can call her and ask her later.” I looked up at the clock, wondering if ten a.m. was too early for me to call Nate and apologise.
When DJ was done with his breakfast, I set him in front of the DVD and headed into the kitchen to call Nate. The phone rang for a long time, and finally, just as I was about to give up, he answered. My heart seemed to stop dead. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to explain why I hadn’t told him earlier?
“Er, hey, Nate,” I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut.
“What do you want, Rosie?” he replied, sounding a little gruff, as if I’d woken him.
“I was hoping to be able to explain.”
A bitter, humourless laugh drifted down the line. “Explain what? That you have a son and a boyfriend? Hell, maybe you even have a husband for all I know. So, did you take off the wedding ring when we went out or what?” he asked sarcastically.
I sighed, knowing I deserved his anger.
“I’m really sorry. I should have told you, but I just… I don’t know… it was nice for a little while to have you look at me. I swear I didn’t mean to mislead you or anything, but I liked having your attention. I guess I knew that as soon as you found out about DJ that you’d run a mile. I’m sorry, Nate. I was going to tell you though, I swear. Next week.” I rested my forehead on the table. I actually wanted to cry, but I wouldn’t let myself, I had only known him for three weeks; it was nothing serious, so I shouldn’t be upset about it.
“So your husband doesn’t treat you nice any more, doesn’t take you out, so you just decided to go have a little fun with a new guy? Screw him and screw family?” Nate replied acidly.
Screw family? Is he kidding me right now? How dare he just assume things about me and my family!
“Nate, you need to chill out. I know I didn’t tell you about DJ, but don’t you dare start assuming anything about my family values. I put everything on hold for my family! I’d lay down and die for my son in a heartbeat, so don’t even think about telling me I’ve done something wrong by him, because I haven’t!” I snapped angrily.
“Breaking up a family for a seedy affair is doing something wrong, Rosie!” he cried.
I frowned, a little shocked. Breaking up a family? Did he think I was actually with Josh? Was that why he kept saying the word husband… he thought I was married and cheating with him?
“Nate, Josh and I aren’t together any more. I haven’t been with him for over three years. It’s just me and DJ on our own,” I said quietly.
My explanation was met with silence for a few seconds.
“But… you… I… it…” he stuttered.
I said nothing. I should have told him earlier than this; it was unfair of me to lead him on but realistically we were both using each other for different things anyway. He didn’t say anything else for a full minute and I was pretty sure I held my breath the whole time. My stomach was starting to hurt at the rejection. I silently wished I’d just trusted my instincts and stayed away from him altogether. I’d had first-hand experience of what guys like him did to girls; I knew he was trouble, but I hadn’t been able to keep a distance.
“You’re not with that guy?” he asked finally.
“No. Josh and I broke up a long time ago.” I swiped angrily at the tear that fell down my face. Damn it, why the hell am I crying? Grow up, woman, you’re being pathetic. You’re stronger than this!
“I-I guess I jumped to conclusions then. But that kid, he’s your son?”
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “He’s four, and his name’s DJ. Well, actually, his name’s Damon Josh, but no one calls him that really, we all just kind of shorten it,” I mumbled, rambling like I seemed to do a lot around him. I forced myself to stop talking before I made myself sound like an idiot.
“Is he alright? What was he at the hospital for?” Nate asked, actually sounding concerned.
I smiled sadly. In a way, it was easier when he was mad with me. Nate being all sweet and concerned about my son, was just making it harder because it just showed exactly what I’d missed out on.
“He’s okay now. Apparently he was jumping on the bed and fell off. He’s fractured his arm. He’s got a cast and stuff, but he’s fine.” I stood up and walked to the door, peeking around the doorframe to see DJ still sitting there watching Cars on DVD.
“He broke his arm? Damn that’s rough. I broke my arm when I was a kid, it hurts like hell for a while. Make sure you give him plenty of ice cream and candy. It’s the only thing that takes the pain away, and that’s coming from personal experience,” he joked.
I chuckled. “I’ll be sure to do that. Thanks for the advice.”
“Sure thing. Want to meet me and talk some more?” His voice was surprisingly hopeful.
Oh my God, he isn’t running?
Of course, I wanted to meet up and talk – but I didn’t want to get my hopes up, after all, he could just want to clear the air so that it wasn’t awkward next time we saw each other at Cameron’s christening. He couldn’t possibly still be interested in me… could he?
I knew the answer to that was no. For the last three weeks, I’d just been fooling myself, living a fantasy where I got treated nicely. A fantasy where I didn’t have to worry about chores, or the babysitter, or bedtime, or if I was going to have enough money to make it through the month. It was nice just pretending with him for a little while that I was attractive and needed, that I wasn’t lonely, and didn’t cry myself to sleep because I had no one to hold me when I was worried or scared. It was nice to just have someone for a short time.
“Umm, I’d like to, but I don’t have a sitter. DJ was supposed to be staying with his dad this weekend, but because of last night he’s now back home.”
“I could come to you?” Nate suggested.
“No, no, don’t. We won’t be able to talk with DJ here, and there’s really no point in that.” Not being able to talk with my son there wasn’t exactly the only reason, but I didn’t want to get into that right now with him.
“Oh, right. Yeah, I didn’t think about that. There are some things I need to say though, and I don’t really want to do it over the phone,” he replied dejectedly.
My intercom buzzed making me jump a mile and to curse under my breath. “Nate, just hold on one second, someone’s at the door.” I went to the door quickly and pressed the buzzer. “Hello?”
~ Rosie ~
I felt sick; DJ was clearly in pain and I could do nothing about it. I turned to Josh. “What happened?” I snapped accusingly.
He frowned angrily. “Don’t you dare blame me for this. This isn’t my fault! He was jumping on the bed, I’d told him not to do it, but he carried on and then fell off,” he retorted, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
I groaned. DJ did like to jump on beds, and I’d told him time and time again not to do it, I couldn’t really blame Josh for this.
“Okay, sorry.”
His face softened as he looked at me apologetically. “It’s alright. I’m sorry I had to call you away from your date.”
Holy fudgeballs, my date! I turned back to Nate, knowing that he must be wondering what on earth was going on. I hadn’t told him about DJ yet so hearing him call me Momma would have knocked him for six. But as I turned, I noticed that he wasn’t there.
My eyes widened. Had he seen DJ, heard him call me Momma, and then left? The air left my lungs quickly. Of course that would be his reaction. I’d already known that he wouldn’t want anything to do with me once I let slip that I had a son – that was one of the reasons I was delaying in telling him. I liked the attention. I’d never had anyone treat me so nicely and want to be with me like that. Hell, I hadn’t even been on a date with anyone since I split up with Josh three years ago, so I loved the attention and didn’t want it to end.
Deep down I knew it was selfish not to tell him, but all I’d wanted to do was enjoy the company of an extremely hot guy while he looked at me with those bedroom eyes of his. What I hadn’t realised when I’d first agreed to a date, was that I’d start to like him. I’d just thought it would be nice to go out with someone a couple of times, have some fun, and think about something else other than life as a single mother. I never expected to want to see more of him. If I was honest, I never expected him to be as amazing as he is. With him looking the way he did, I didn’t think there would be much else to him other than his cocky, flirty attitude, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Where did he go?” Josh asked, looking over my shoulder.
I shrugged, pretending I wasn’t bothered but, in actual fact, I felt a little sick with disappointment. But my son’s little whimper of pain immediately pushed all thoughts of Nate from my mind.
Six hours later and DJ was finally allowed to leave. He’d fractured his wrist but it wasn’t too bad so, thankfully, they didn’t have to re-set it, just put a plaster cast on for six weeks. They’d given him meds for the pain, so he was currently in a deep sleep in the back of the car.
As we pulled up at my apartment, Josh looked at me apologetically again; he’d been doing that a lot tonight, but for once this wasn’t his fault.
“I’ll carry him upstairs for you,” he mumbled, getting out and going to the back seat, carefully lifting DJ into his arms. I smiled gratefully and headed up to unlock the doors and pull the sheets back on his bed so Josh could put him straight in. I hovered around behind him worriedly. As a mother, the worst thing in the world was seeing your child in pain and knowing you couldn’t help them.
“Thanks, Josh. If you want to come over tomorrow and see him that’s fine, we won’t be going anywhere.”
DJ didn’t see his dad that often because Josh could be a little flaky and cancel on plans at the drop of a hat. I hated having to explain to DJ why Daddy wasn’t coming to get him like he’d promised. The disappointed look on his face always broke my heart a little. Thankfully, since we’d moved to LA, it made it easier for him to see him now that we were closer and he didn’t have to drive for two hours to pick him up. So far, he hadn’t actually cancelled yet.
“Yeah? Okay, cool. I need to bring his weekend stuff over anyway,” he whispered, as he pulled the bedroom door closed quietly.
“Yeah, I’ll need that damn Woody doll back before bedtime tomorrow,” I grimaced. DJ was so into Toy Story it was unreal, actually, anything Disney and he was there with bells on.
Josh headed towards the door. “I’ll go and let you get some sleep.”
Now that he’d mentioned sleep I couldn’t help but yawn, it was past three in the morning already.
“Bye then, and thanks for the ride home.” I yawned, waving, and then locking the door before heading to bed, not even bothering to change out of my clothes.
I expected sleep to come quickly, but it didn’t. Instead, I lay awake for another hour wondering if I’d just lost someone potentially important from my life. I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if I’d told Nate sooner about DJ. I’d only planned on leaving it for another couple of dates before I told him anyway, at that point he probably would have run away from me as fast as his legs could carry him. I knew that a guy like Nate wouldn’t want anything to do with a single mother, so I’d planned on making the most of being treated like a normal woman for just a few more dates.
I groaned and rolled over, squeezing my eyes shut tight, trying to think of something else so I could fall asleep. In the end, I recited the alphabet backwards until I was so bored I could stay awake no longer.
I woke in the morning to the sound of crying. I jumped out of bed so fast it actually made my head spin as I darted out of my room and into DJ’s. He was sitting up in the bed, sobbing. I sat down and wrapped my arms around him, rocking him gently.
“Okay, Baby? Does it hurt?” I asked, stroking his hair. He shook his head and sniffed loudly. “Then why are you crying?” I asked, feeling sick with worry.
“I left Woody at Daddy’s!” he wailed. I laughed with relief. “He would have been on his owns, and he would’ve been scared without me there all night!” He looked at me with his big teary brown eyes and I couldn’t help but smile at him.
“No, Baby, Daddy was watching him for you. He said he’d let Woody sleep in his bed so he didn’t miss you too much.” I lied, kissing his forehead and smoothing his messy bed hair.
A weak smile twitched at the corners of his mouth as he wiped his tears with his good hand. “Can we go gets him back today?” he asked, pouting pleadingly.
“Daddy’s going to bring him back for you. Come on, let’s get some breakfast.” I lifted him out of the bed and hugged him tightly to my side, carrying him through the apartment and sitting him up at the table ready to eat. He sat there, munching his way through a bowl of cereal, while I just watched him and silently thanked God that he’d broken his arm instead of his neck.
DJ kept glancing at his cast with a small frown on his face. I knew exactly what would cheer him up though. “Hey, Baby, you know what would be really cool?”
He shook his head looking at me curiously. “No, what?”
“We could ask Auntie Anna to draw on your cast. I bet if you found a really good picture of Woody or Buzz that she’d be able to draw it on there for you. How cool would that be?” I offered, knowing he’d love that idea.
He gasped. “Will she?”
“Yeah, I bet she will. You can call her and ask her later.” I looked up at the clock, wondering if ten a.m. was too early for me to call Nate and apologise.
When DJ was done with his breakfast, I set him in front of the DVD and headed into the kitchen to call Nate. The phone rang for a long time, and finally, just as I was about to give up, he answered. My heart seemed to stop dead. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to explain why I hadn’t told him earlier?
“Er, hey, Nate,” I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut.
“What do you want, Rosie?” he replied, sounding a little gruff, as if I’d woken him.
“I was hoping to be able to explain.”
A bitter, humourless laugh drifted down the line. “Explain what? That you have a son and a boyfriend? Hell, maybe you even have a husband for all I know. So, did you take off the wedding ring when we went out or what?” he asked sarcastically.
I sighed, knowing I deserved his anger.
“I’m really sorry. I should have told you, but I just… I don’t know… it was nice for a little while to have you look at me. I swear I didn’t mean to mislead you or anything, but I liked having your attention. I guess I knew that as soon as you found out about DJ that you’d run a mile. I’m sorry, Nate. I was going to tell you though, I swear. Next week.” I rested my forehead on the table. I actually wanted to cry, but I wouldn’t let myself, I had only known him for three weeks; it was nothing serious, so I shouldn’t be upset about it.
“So your husband doesn’t treat you nice any more, doesn’t take you out, so you just decided to go have a little fun with a new guy? Screw him and screw family?” Nate replied acidly.
Screw family? Is he kidding me right now? How dare he just assume things about me and my family!
“Nate, you need to chill out. I know I didn’t tell you about DJ, but don’t you dare start assuming anything about my family values. I put everything on hold for my family! I’d lay down and die for my son in a heartbeat, so don’t even think about telling me I’ve done something wrong by him, because I haven’t!” I snapped angrily.
“Breaking up a family for a seedy affair is doing something wrong, Rosie!” he cried.
I frowned, a little shocked. Breaking up a family? Did he think I was actually with Josh? Was that why he kept saying the word husband… he thought I was married and cheating with him?
“Nate, Josh and I aren’t together any more. I haven’t been with him for over three years. It’s just me and DJ on our own,” I said quietly.
My explanation was met with silence for a few seconds.
“But… you… I… it…” he stuttered.
I said nothing. I should have told him earlier than this; it was unfair of me to lead him on but realistically we were both using each other for different things anyway. He didn’t say anything else for a full minute and I was pretty sure I held my breath the whole time. My stomach was starting to hurt at the rejection. I silently wished I’d just trusted my instincts and stayed away from him altogether. I’d had first-hand experience of what guys like him did to girls; I knew he was trouble, but I hadn’t been able to keep a distance.
“You’re not with that guy?” he asked finally.
“No. Josh and I broke up a long time ago.” I swiped angrily at the tear that fell down my face. Damn it, why the hell am I crying? Grow up, woman, you’re being pathetic. You’re stronger than this!
“I-I guess I jumped to conclusions then. But that kid, he’s your son?”
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “He’s four, and his name’s DJ. Well, actually, his name’s Damon Josh, but no one calls him that really, we all just kind of shorten it,” I mumbled, rambling like I seemed to do a lot around him. I forced myself to stop talking before I made myself sound like an idiot.
“Is he alright? What was he at the hospital for?” Nate asked, actually sounding concerned.
I smiled sadly. In a way, it was easier when he was mad with me. Nate being all sweet and concerned about my son, was just making it harder because it just showed exactly what I’d missed out on.
“He’s okay now. Apparently he was jumping on the bed and fell off. He’s fractured his arm. He’s got a cast and stuff, but he’s fine.” I stood up and walked to the door, peeking around the doorframe to see DJ still sitting there watching Cars on DVD.
“He broke his arm? Damn that’s rough. I broke my arm when I was a kid, it hurts like hell for a while. Make sure you give him plenty of ice cream and candy. It’s the only thing that takes the pain away, and that’s coming from personal experience,” he joked.
I chuckled. “I’ll be sure to do that. Thanks for the advice.”
“Sure thing. Want to meet me and talk some more?” His voice was surprisingly hopeful.
Oh my God, he isn’t running?
Of course, I wanted to meet up and talk – but I didn’t want to get my hopes up, after all, he could just want to clear the air so that it wasn’t awkward next time we saw each other at Cameron’s christening. He couldn’t possibly still be interested in me… could he?
I knew the answer to that was no. For the last three weeks, I’d just been fooling myself, living a fantasy where I got treated nicely. A fantasy where I didn’t have to worry about chores, or the babysitter, or bedtime, or if I was going to have enough money to make it through the month. It was nice just pretending with him for a little while that I was attractive and needed, that I wasn’t lonely, and didn’t cry myself to sleep because I had no one to hold me when I was worried or scared. It was nice to just have someone for a short time.
“Umm, I’d like to, but I don’t have a sitter. DJ was supposed to be staying with his dad this weekend, but because of last night he’s now back home.”
“I could come to you?” Nate suggested.
“No, no, don’t. We won’t be able to talk with DJ here, and there’s really no point in that.” Not being able to talk with my son there wasn’t exactly the only reason, but I didn’t want to get into that right now with him.
“Oh, right. Yeah, I didn’t think about that. There are some things I need to say though, and I don’t really want to do it over the phone,” he replied dejectedly.
My intercom buzzed making me jump a mile and to curse under my breath. “Nate, just hold on one second, someone’s at the door.” I went to the door quickly and pressed the buzzer. “Hello?”
