Eternally North
Page 78
“Is this secret the reason you’re in Calgary?”
He nodded in his hands.
“Is it why you live so close to your family? Why you fought our attraction?”
He nodded once more.
I breathed in the fresh mountain air. Okay, I get it. I was not exactly thrilled, but I had to trust him. He was somehow protecting his family. That was something I understood – family first.
“Okay, Tudor. I just want you to know that I’m here for you if and when you need to talk. It’s early doors for us; we will just take every day as it comes.”
He sat back, staring at the reflected trees on the calm surface of the pond, and whispered, “Thank you.”
I could see it meant a lot for someone to say that they would accept him, would trust him; the tension immediately left his tight shoulders. He glanced at me, kissed my hand and smiled.
I patted his knee preemptively. The inquisition wasn’t over that easily. I had one other question. "You’ve mentioned before that you lived in LA and you were a bit wild, and the TV report said you had a ‘drink-fuelled year’ – what the hell happened?”
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close. "What happened? Fame, money, fans, you name it. The whole nine yards. I remember moving there and thinking that I would never be one of those actors, the ones you see falling out of bars, off their face on drugs or drink.
“I was in LA when I received some bad news from back home, the same news I can't tell you about, the same issue that won’t f**king die. I went out that night and just drank. I woke up the next day in a strange bed with a girl I didn't know, and that became the pattern. I drank, I f**ked, I forgot. It changed when I got a phone call from my mother telling me she’d seen me on TV, completely blitzed, and that she was worried about me and couldn't deal with anything else to cause her stress. I decided that night to leave LA and move back to Vancouver with my family, and as soon as the decision was made, the darkness I had been fighting lifted some, and I've never looked back.
“Raquel happened during that time and capitalised on the fling, she practically prostitutes herself out to other actors to increase her own profile, and I, the drunken sucker that I was, fell straight into her malicious trap. I actually have no memory of that night. I just woke up the next morning in her bed, both of us naked. It makes me sick even thinking about it.
“I'm no longer that lost guy, Tash. But I do have certain troubles following me, but I’m working on them. Some I can control, others I can’t. But you will never be harmed, not if I can help it."
I leaned in and kissed him passionately, reassuring him. "Thank you for telling me that."
He shrugged. "Anything to keep you. I feel like you're always one revelation from slipping away, that one day I'll wake up and you'll be done with me, with us, that you will get sick of this life and sick of what being with me entails, and I'm not only talking about the fame shit, at the moment that’s the easy part.
“When we were just friends, the thought of not seeing you again gave me chills, but now that you’re finally mine…" he turned his head away from my view.
I nudged his arm playfully and pulled him in for a hug. "You're stuck with me, babes, just deal with it! Plus, my va-jay-jay was pissed at me for my self-imposed celibacy over the past ten months and I’ll tell you now, she ain’t gonna be too happy if I withdraw the extremely-bankable Tudor-deposits she’s received of late. I think she might actually shut down if I do, so you’re good for a little while longer while my foof gets her fill.”
His mouth dropped open, for a few seconds before barking out in hysterics, causing a deep rumbling echo around the ridge.
“Now, let’s go. I’ll race you back down the hill, emo-boy,” and I took off, running to the footpath, squealing as I heard Tudor chasing behind me.
He caught me at the bottom and spun me around, making me dizzy. He was laughing so hard. When I shouted “Mercy”, he placed me down in front of him and kissed me slowly, his hands braced on my head.
He broke the kiss and walked in front of me, then bent down slightly and looked back. “Hop on.”
Well, he didn’t have to ask me twice! I took a run, and jumped onto his back and he hoisted me up into a piggy-back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid a loud smack of a kiss on his cheek.
I loved this playful side of Tudor. He began running, making me bounce around and nearly caused me to fall off his back. We were laughing so much that we didn’t notice the group of teenage girls just in front of us, eyes glued to our little game. Tudor held on to my legs firmly and edged around the girls, heading in the direction of the Jeep. We heard some gasps and giggling, but Tudor kept his stride fast and never looked back. I did sneak a glance however, and noticed several iPhones being played with, but none pointing were in our direction, so I assumed we’d got by unrecognised.
He nodded in his hands.
“Is it why you live so close to your family? Why you fought our attraction?”
He nodded once more.
I breathed in the fresh mountain air. Okay, I get it. I was not exactly thrilled, but I had to trust him. He was somehow protecting his family. That was something I understood – family first.
“Okay, Tudor. I just want you to know that I’m here for you if and when you need to talk. It’s early doors for us; we will just take every day as it comes.”
He sat back, staring at the reflected trees on the calm surface of the pond, and whispered, “Thank you.”
I could see it meant a lot for someone to say that they would accept him, would trust him; the tension immediately left his tight shoulders. He glanced at me, kissed my hand and smiled.
I patted his knee preemptively. The inquisition wasn’t over that easily. I had one other question. "You’ve mentioned before that you lived in LA and you were a bit wild, and the TV report said you had a ‘drink-fuelled year’ – what the hell happened?”
He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close. "What happened? Fame, money, fans, you name it. The whole nine yards. I remember moving there and thinking that I would never be one of those actors, the ones you see falling out of bars, off their face on drugs or drink.
“I was in LA when I received some bad news from back home, the same news I can't tell you about, the same issue that won’t f**king die. I went out that night and just drank. I woke up the next day in a strange bed with a girl I didn't know, and that became the pattern. I drank, I f**ked, I forgot. It changed when I got a phone call from my mother telling me she’d seen me on TV, completely blitzed, and that she was worried about me and couldn't deal with anything else to cause her stress. I decided that night to leave LA and move back to Vancouver with my family, and as soon as the decision was made, the darkness I had been fighting lifted some, and I've never looked back.
“Raquel happened during that time and capitalised on the fling, she practically prostitutes herself out to other actors to increase her own profile, and I, the drunken sucker that I was, fell straight into her malicious trap. I actually have no memory of that night. I just woke up the next morning in her bed, both of us naked. It makes me sick even thinking about it.
“I'm no longer that lost guy, Tash. But I do have certain troubles following me, but I’m working on them. Some I can control, others I can’t. But you will never be harmed, not if I can help it."
I leaned in and kissed him passionately, reassuring him. "Thank you for telling me that."
He shrugged. "Anything to keep you. I feel like you're always one revelation from slipping away, that one day I'll wake up and you'll be done with me, with us, that you will get sick of this life and sick of what being with me entails, and I'm not only talking about the fame shit, at the moment that’s the easy part.
“When we were just friends, the thought of not seeing you again gave me chills, but now that you’re finally mine…" he turned his head away from my view.
I nudged his arm playfully and pulled him in for a hug. "You're stuck with me, babes, just deal with it! Plus, my va-jay-jay was pissed at me for my self-imposed celibacy over the past ten months and I’ll tell you now, she ain’t gonna be too happy if I withdraw the extremely-bankable Tudor-deposits she’s received of late. I think she might actually shut down if I do, so you’re good for a little while longer while my foof gets her fill.”
His mouth dropped open, for a few seconds before barking out in hysterics, causing a deep rumbling echo around the ridge.
“Now, let’s go. I’ll race you back down the hill, emo-boy,” and I took off, running to the footpath, squealing as I heard Tudor chasing behind me.
He caught me at the bottom and spun me around, making me dizzy. He was laughing so hard. When I shouted “Mercy”, he placed me down in front of him and kissed me slowly, his hands braced on my head.
He broke the kiss and walked in front of me, then bent down slightly and looked back. “Hop on.”
Well, he didn’t have to ask me twice! I took a run, and jumped onto his back and he hoisted me up into a piggy-back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid a loud smack of a kiss on his cheek.
I loved this playful side of Tudor. He began running, making me bounce around and nearly caused me to fall off his back. We were laughing so much that we didn’t notice the group of teenage girls just in front of us, eyes glued to our little game. Tudor held on to my legs firmly and edged around the girls, heading in the direction of the Jeep. We heard some gasps and giggling, but Tudor kept his stride fast and never looked back. I did sneak a glance however, and noticed several iPhones being played with, but none pointing were in our direction, so I assumed we’d got by unrecognised.
