Extinguish
Page 15
"Is that envy?" she teased. "Still sinning, I see."
"Sweetheart, you don't even know the half of it. I envy you more than you could possibly understand."
"Why?" she asked. "You had everything I have plus more, but you gave it all up."
"I did," he said, his voice hard. "And I don't regret it. What I did was justified, whether you believe it or not. But that doesn't mean I don't miss parts of that life . . . parts of that world. I miss spring, and rain, and the sun, and fucking fresh air. Do you know what I'd give for fresh air, to not have to breathe this wretched filth every day?"
"Give up this war?"
He laughed. "Nice try."
She shrugged. It was worth a try.
"Most of all, though, I envy your innocence. I envy your ignorance. I wish I didn't know the things I do." He shook his head as he grumbled angrily to himself, the words incoherent to her. "You smell like flowers today, by the way."
"I was in a field earlier. There were wildflowers."
She’d gone looking for Michael but had changed her mind, deciding to descend to the gates instead of waiting for the Archangel to appear.
"You like wildflowers?"
"Of course," she said. "They're one of our Father's most beautiful creations. Don't you agree?"
He offered no answer as he turned to leave.
The Lauer family gathered around the small table, their plates piled high with food. The three joined hands and bowed their heads as Nicholas Lauer said a quiet prayer. "Lord, bless this food and all of us at this table. Please help us to be mindful of the needs of others. Amen."
Samantha and their daughter Nicki quietly offered an "Amen" as Serah unceremoniously slipped into the only empty chair at the dinner table.
Nicholas and Samantha started eating, sharing casual conversation about work and friends, while Nicki's attention was focused on her Hello Kitty notebook and old pack of broken crayons. Her food went mostly untouched as she drew a picture, lanky stick figures of her mother and father taking up most of the page. She added herself to it, standing in between her parents, completing their little family.
A fourth heartbeat quietly thudded in the room, as unknown to the family as Serah's presence. A tiny life, no bigger than a sesame seed, fluttered inside of Samantha Lauer. The heartbeat, although faint, struck Serah like a bass drum with every single beat.
Samantha put her fork down, softly groaning to herself as she clutched her stomach.
"You okay, hon?" Nicholas asked, gazing at his wife with concern. "You look pale."
"Yes, fine," she mumbled. "I've just felt a little off today. I think I'm coming down with something."
"I hope it's nothing serious."
"I'm sure it's not." Samantha stood and tossed her napkin over her plate. "I'm just going to lie down for a little bit."
Serah's gaze followed her down the hallway. After she was gone, Nicholas focused his attention on their daughter. "What are you drawing over there, little one?"
"A family picture," she replied, holding the notebook up. "See? It's you, and me, and Mommy!"
"And who's the other one?"
Curious, Serah's eyes darted back to the notebook, shocked when she saw the new addition to the drawing. The forth stick figure hovered in the sky, little oblong wings protruding from its back.
"It's an angel."
"Ah." Nicholas raised an eyebrow. "I thought it was Tinker Bell."
Nicki giggled. "Silly Daddy, fairies aren't real."
"You're right," Nicholas said, standing up and grabbing his plate. He placed it in the sink, kissing the top of his daughter's head as he passed. "You forgot to draw her halo, though."
He strode down the hallway to check on his wife while Nicki shook her head. "Real angels don't have them."
Serah was stunned to stone, thoughts of the stray dog from the playground coming to her mind. Something was happening, although she wasn’t sure what, or how it could be so. Nicki continued to draw, filling in her picture, as Serah slowly lifted her hand toward the girl's face. She waved it back and forth, waiting to be detected, not knowing what she'd do if she was, but Nicki didn't react to the movement at all.
Thank Heavens.
After a moment, the girl turned to her food, scarfing some of it down before running off to play. Serah remained there, gaping at the picture left on the table. "What in the world is going on?"
A flicker of static popped behind her as a small breeze rustled the child's drawing. "That's a good question."
Serah turned quickly as Michael appeared, his massive body filling the small dining room. "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you."
"Why?"
His brow furrowed. "Do I need a reason?"
"Oh." She stood, instantly falling into his arms in a hug. "Of course not."
"I've missed you," he said. "It took me a while to find you. You don't usually go inside their homes."
"Yeah, I know. I just got to thinking about family and wondered what it was like for them, so I thought I'd . . . you know . . . join them for dinner once."
Michael sighed, his face clouded with confusion. "That's a strange thing to wonder about. What made you think of it?"
She hesitated. "Samuel."
"Sweetheart, you don't even know the half of it. I envy you more than you could possibly understand."
"Why?" she asked. "You had everything I have plus more, but you gave it all up."
"I did," he said, his voice hard. "And I don't regret it. What I did was justified, whether you believe it or not. But that doesn't mean I don't miss parts of that life . . . parts of that world. I miss spring, and rain, and the sun, and fucking fresh air. Do you know what I'd give for fresh air, to not have to breathe this wretched filth every day?"
"Give up this war?"
He laughed. "Nice try."
She shrugged. It was worth a try.
"Most of all, though, I envy your innocence. I envy your ignorance. I wish I didn't know the things I do." He shook his head as he grumbled angrily to himself, the words incoherent to her. "You smell like flowers today, by the way."
"I was in a field earlier. There were wildflowers."
She’d gone looking for Michael but had changed her mind, deciding to descend to the gates instead of waiting for the Archangel to appear.
"You like wildflowers?"
"Of course," she said. "They're one of our Father's most beautiful creations. Don't you agree?"
He offered no answer as he turned to leave.
The Lauer family gathered around the small table, their plates piled high with food. The three joined hands and bowed their heads as Nicholas Lauer said a quiet prayer. "Lord, bless this food and all of us at this table. Please help us to be mindful of the needs of others. Amen."
Samantha and their daughter Nicki quietly offered an "Amen" as Serah unceremoniously slipped into the only empty chair at the dinner table.
Nicholas and Samantha started eating, sharing casual conversation about work and friends, while Nicki's attention was focused on her Hello Kitty notebook and old pack of broken crayons. Her food went mostly untouched as she drew a picture, lanky stick figures of her mother and father taking up most of the page. She added herself to it, standing in between her parents, completing their little family.
A fourth heartbeat quietly thudded in the room, as unknown to the family as Serah's presence. A tiny life, no bigger than a sesame seed, fluttered inside of Samantha Lauer. The heartbeat, although faint, struck Serah like a bass drum with every single beat.
Samantha put her fork down, softly groaning to herself as she clutched her stomach.
"You okay, hon?" Nicholas asked, gazing at his wife with concern. "You look pale."
"Yes, fine," she mumbled. "I've just felt a little off today. I think I'm coming down with something."
"I hope it's nothing serious."
"I'm sure it's not." Samantha stood and tossed her napkin over her plate. "I'm just going to lie down for a little bit."
Serah's gaze followed her down the hallway. After she was gone, Nicholas focused his attention on their daughter. "What are you drawing over there, little one?"
"A family picture," she replied, holding the notebook up. "See? It's you, and me, and Mommy!"
"And who's the other one?"
Curious, Serah's eyes darted back to the notebook, shocked when she saw the new addition to the drawing. The forth stick figure hovered in the sky, little oblong wings protruding from its back.
"It's an angel."
"Ah." Nicholas raised an eyebrow. "I thought it was Tinker Bell."
Nicki giggled. "Silly Daddy, fairies aren't real."
"You're right," Nicholas said, standing up and grabbing his plate. He placed it in the sink, kissing the top of his daughter's head as he passed. "You forgot to draw her halo, though."
He strode down the hallway to check on his wife while Nicki shook her head. "Real angels don't have them."
Serah was stunned to stone, thoughts of the stray dog from the playground coming to her mind. Something was happening, although she wasn’t sure what, or how it could be so. Nicki continued to draw, filling in her picture, as Serah slowly lifted her hand toward the girl's face. She waved it back and forth, waiting to be detected, not knowing what she'd do if she was, but Nicki didn't react to the movement at all.
Thank Heavens.
After a moment, the girl turned to her food, scarfing some of it down before running off to play. Serah remained there, gaping at the picture left on the table. "What in the world is going on?"
A flicker of static popped behind her as a small breeze rustled the child's drawing. "That's a good question."
Serah turned quickly as Michael appeared, his massive body filling the small dining room. "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you."
"Why?"
His brow furrowed. "Do I need a reason?"
"Oh." She stood, instantly falling into his arms in a hug. "Of course not."
"I've missed you," he said. "It took me a while to find you. You don't usually go inside their homes."
"Yeah, I know. I just got to thinking about family and wondered what it was like for them, so I thought I'd . . . you know . . . join them for dinner once."
Michael sighed, his face clouded with confusion. "That's a strange thing to wonder about. What made you think of it?"
She hesitated. "Samuel."
