Eyes Wide Open
Page 37
Wow. That was an unexpected blast from the past. Not Jessica, but Karl. I don’t think she remembered, but I sure did. Karl was the boy I dated for a while once Lance left for college. Karl, who made Lance insanely jealous when he found out I wasn’t just waiting around for him to come home from university and f**k me, or so that was the story I knew. The reason Lance and his buddies abused me on that pool table and thought it would be a fun idea to make a video of it.
I never saw or talked to Lance again or even Karl. I know Karl tried to get in touch with me a few times before I was shipped away to New Mexico, but I wouldn’t see him or any of my old friends, apart from Jessica. I just couldn’t go back to that place in time; that was the same reason I hadn’t been back to my hometown in four years. I had no intentions of ever going back.
It was weird thinking about all that again. I had no hard feelings about Karl, no feelings period. Karl had actually treated me pretty decently considering what my reputation had been in high school, but I’d shut down after the incident and was unable to look anyone in the eye who had seen the images of me on that video. I wonder what Karl thought when he saw it. Was he trying to comfort me because he felt sorry for what had happened, or was he hoping to get some more action out of me? Who knew? I’m sure I never knew at the time, nor did I much care. I was too busy trying to find my way out of this life.
I wrote a happy-happy-nice-nice message back to Jess wishing her luck with him, and logged out of Facebook.
I had a new life now. In London . . . with Ethan . . . and the baby I was having.
Neil sat across from me and looked more affected than I’d ever seen him in my life.
I didn’t blame him, really. Telling him that we no longer need worry that Brynne might have got tainted food or drink at the gala had been just the start of his shock.
“Blow me down!”
“I’ve waited a week to tell you. We’ve not even shared with our parents yet and she’s been struggling with severe pregnancy sickness.”
He turned his head and winced. “Is that you, E? You should hear yourself speaking.”
“What?” I couldn’t wait until Neil was in my shoes. Hell, he was getting married in a few months and it wouldn’t be far long after that, I’d wager, before he came into my office looking like he’d been brained with a large stick.
“You going on like it’s nothing. You’ll be a dad, mate.”
“Well, what would you like for me to say? It’s not like we planned for her pills to fail, and really, it changes nothing in the end,” I said, sneering. “Thanks for the tip. I am aware.”
Neil cracked a grin. “You’re pleased.” He laughed and shook his head. “You’re quite chuffed about it, aren’t you?”
I was, and I had no reason to lie to him. “Yeah, I am. I’m marrying her too. And it will happen well before you and Elaina do it,” I challenged, daring him to raise an eyebrow about that. “The sooner the announcement goes out wide the better, I say. Let the senator and his goons read about it in the celebrity gossip. BLACKSTONE TO MARRY AMERICAN MODEL, FIRST CHILD ON THE WAY. The more publicity the better, I say. How about: PREGNANT AMERICAN MODEL BEAUTY WEDS FORMER SF CAPTAIN, SECURITY DETAIL FOR THE ROYAL FAMILY? That sounds a bit better, I think. The guest list will be impressive, I can promise you that much. Every celebrity I know will be getting an invitation. The higher her profile, the more layers they’ll have to break through to get to her. Can you imagine if any U.S. official got caught laying a hand on her now? They’d likely have a war on their hands. The more elevated her celebrity, the harder it becomes for her to ever be a target. It’s calling their bluff, and I’m fully prepared to f**k them quite rudely.” I faked a grin.
Neil nodded. “I’m happy for you, E. Brynne is your cure, anyone with eyes can see that.” He paused before asking, “How does she feel about being a mum?”
I couldn’t help the surge of pride that swelled in me when Neil asked that last bit. “You know how Brynne is. Very sensible about the important things, and this is one of them, but I know she’s frightened like anyone would be. Fuck me, it’s terrifying!” I reached for a Djarum Black and lit it.
“Yeah, but you two will manage to make a go, I’m sure,” Neil said before changing the subject. “How did Len do while I was gone away?”
“Fine. Solid, dependable, Len. In fact, he’s at the flat right now and I imagine as we get closer to opening ceremonies it’ll be Len on her most of the time. I’m going to need you to run things here when I’m off.”
Len was Neil’s replacement for Brynne duties. He drove her wherever she needed to go, and basically guarded the entrance to the flat at any point I wasn’t in there with her. I couldn’t and wouldn’t take the risk that she be exposed to vulnerability. The closer we dug into the Senator Oakley camp the more clues pointed back to the senator’s possible involvement in what I now believed to be cleverly camouflaged hits on Montrose and Fielding. There were clues that Fielding was dead, but no telling when his corpse might make an appearance, if ever. Neil had pegged what was surely Secret Service lurking around Fielding’s abandoned apartment in Los Angeles. That f**ker had been taken down, I’d bet my Victoria Cross on it.
“Time to go from here, boss. It’s too late for you to be lurking, and your woman is home alone,” Neil said.
“Agreed on that.” I sighed at the thought of the late nights still to come in the next weeks, took a long drag on my cig and extinguished it. I really was making improvements on tapering down. Sometimes I just let them burn without smoking them.
Neil clapped me on the back as we went out. “So, Dad, we need to get you good and drunk in celebration at first opportunity. You’ve knocked up your girl and you’re getting shackled to boot.” He shook his head again like he was still in shock. “You don’t do anything lightly, do you?”
“ ‘Fraid not,” I grumbled.
The flat was dark and silent when I let myself in. All I wanted was to get my hands on her. I always had a moment of panic if I came in and the place felt empty. But that was stupid because it was so damn ridiculously late to be coming home from work and I’d just relieved Len of his duties at the door. Of course she was in the flat! She would be asleep and the place dark.
I never saw or talked to Lance again or even Karl. I know Karl tried to get in touch with me a few times before I was shipped away to New Mexico, but I wouldn’t see him or any of my old friends, apart from Jessica. I just couldn’t go back to that place in time; that was the same reason I hadn’t been back to my hometown in four years. I had no intentions of ever going back.
It was weird thinking about all that again. I had no hard feelings about Karl, no feelings period. Karl had actually treated me pretty decently considering what my reputation had been in high school, but I’d shut down after the incident and was unable to look anyone in the eye who had seen the images of me on that video. I wonder what Karl thought when he saw it. Was he trying to comfort me because he felt sorry for what had happened, or was he hoping to get some more action out of me? Who knew? I’m sure I never knew at the time, nor did I much care. I was too busy trying to find my way out of this life.
I wrote a happy-happy-nice-nice message back to Jess wishing her luck with him, and logged out of Facebook.
I had a new life now. In London . . . with Ethan . . . and the baby I was having.
Neil sat across from me and looked more affected than I’d ever seen him in my life.
I didn’t blame him, really. Telling him that we no longer need worry that Brynne might have got tainted food or drink at the gala had been just the start of his shock.
“Blow me down!”
“I’ve waited a week to tell you. We’ve not even shared with our parents yet and she’s been struggling with severe pregnancy sickness.”
He turned his head and winced. “Is that you, E? You should hear yourself speaking.”
“What?” I couldn’t wait until Neil was in my shoes. Hell, he was getting married in a few months and it wouldn’t be far long after that, I’d wager, before he came into my office looking like he’d been brained with a large stick.
“You going on like it’s nothing. You’ll be a dad, mate.”
“Well, what would you like for me to say? It’s not like we planned for her pills to fail, and really, it changes nothing in the end,” I said, sneering. “Thanks for the tip. I am aware.”
Neil cracked a grin. “You’re pleased.” He laughed and shook his head. “You’re quite chuffed about it, aren’t you?”
I was, and I had no reason to lie to him. “Yeah, I am. I’m marrying her too. And it will happen well before you and Elaina do it,” I challenged, daring him to raise an eyebrow about that. “The sooner the announcement goes out wide the better, I say. Let the senator and his goons read about it in the celebrity gossip. BLACKSTONE TO MARRY AMERICAN MODEL, FIRST CHILD ON THE WAY. The more publicity the better, I say. How about: PREGNANT AMERICAN MODEL BEAUTY WEDS FORMER SF CAPTAIN, SECURITY DETAIL FOR THE ROYAL FAMILY? That sounds a bit better, I think. The guest list will be impressive, I can promise you that much. Every celebrity I know will be getting an invitation. The higher her profile, the more layers they’ll have to break through to get to her. Can you imagine if any U.S. official got caught laying a hand on her now? They’d likely have a war on their hands. The more elevated her celebrity, the harder it becomes for her to ever be a target. It’s calling their bluff, and I’m fully prepared to f**k them quite rudely.” I faked a grin.
Neil nodded. “I’m happy for you, E. Brynne is your cure, anyone with eyes can see that.” He paused before asking, “How does she feel about being a mum?”
I couldn’t help the surge of pride that swelled in me when Neil asked that last bit. “You know how Brynne is. Very sensible about the important things, and this is one of them, but I know she’s frightened like anyone would be. Fuck me, it’s terrifying!” I reached for a Djarum Black and lit it.
“Yeah, but you two will manage to make a go, I’m sure,” Neil said before changing the subject. “How did Len do while I was gone away?”
“Fine. Solid, dependable, Len. In fact, he’s at the flat right now and I imagine as we get closer to opening ceremonies it’ll be Len on her most of the time. I’m going to need you to run things here when I’m off.”
Len was Neil’s replacement for Brynne duties. He drove her wherever she needed to go, and basically guarded the entrance to the flat at any point I wasn’t in there with her. I couldn’t and wouldn’t take the risk that she be exposed to vulnerability. The closer we dug into the Senator Oakley camp the more clues pointed back to the senator’s possible involvement in what I now believed to be cleverly camouflaged hits on Montrose and Fielding. There were clues that Fielding was dead, but no telling when his corpse might make an appearance, if ever. Neil had pegged what was surely Secret Service lurking around Fielding’s abandoned apartment in Los Angeles. That f**ker had been taken down, I’d bet my Victoria Cross on it.
“Time to go from here, boss. It’s too late for you to be lurking, and your woman is home alone,” Neil said.
“Agreed on that.” I sighed at the thought of the late nights still to come in the next weeks, took a long drag on my cig and extinguished it. I really was making improvements on tapering down. Sometimes I just let them burn without smoking them.
Neil clapped me on the back as we went out. “So, Dad, we need to get you good and drunk in celebration at first opportunity. You’ve knocked up your girl and you’re getting shackled to boot.” He shook his head again like he was still in shock. “You don’t do anything lightly, do you?”
“ ‘Fraid not,” I grumbled.
The flat was dark and silent when I let myself in. All I wanted was to get my hands on her. I always had a moment of panic if I came in and the place felt empty. But that was stupid because it was so damn ridiculously late to be coming home from work and I’d just relieved Len of his duties at the door. Of course she was in the flat! She would be asleep and the place dark.
