Face-Off at the Altar
Page 10
And she still had to see him.
Man, she was screwed.
“You got your angry bun on top of your head, so I guess I should have known the answer, huh?”
Mekena scoffed, cupping her hair that was in a very messy and maybe a bit angry bun. “Guess so.” Pushing her black-rimmed glasses up her nose, she read the same sentence she had been reading in her book for the last ten minutes and begged her tears to stay back. Skylar didn’t deserve them. Nor did he. No, she had to keep those for herself.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
She didn’t even look at her aunt. “Why in the hell would I want to do that?”
Libby laughed. “Hell, I don’t know. That’s what everyone always said to me.”
That made her glance up. Unlike Mekena, Libby wasn’t the least bit sad. She didn’t even look affected anymore about what had happened. Mekena guessed that since it had been over twenty-five years, Libby had healed. Did that mean it would take twenty-five years for her? Clearing her throat, she asked, “What did you say?”
Libby laughed. “I was an asshole and said to fuck off, that there was nothing to speak of, that I didn’t care. But I think Linda always knew I was a bit broken. I know she still blames herself, and it’s been eons.”
Looking away, Mekena swallowed hard. The story of how her father and mother got together wasn’t a secret. Aunt Libby and Stan dated all through high school and even into college. Everyone was convinced they’d get married, have little babies, but then they got into a huge fight and broke up. Two weeks later, he started dating Linda, and then a week later, they were married. It was nasty, and Mekena still remembered the way her grandma would speak of it all. How everyone hated Stan—and even Linda for a little while. Though they promised that nothing ever happened when he was with Libby, everyone was pretty sure that was a lie.
“Do you blame her?”
Libby shook her head. “No, I never did.”
“No?”
“No, I knew she wasn’t lying to me. I knew she wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. They clicked and we didn’t. I always knew they had something, I just didn’t think he would pursue her after me and that they’d get married so quickly. We were together for almost six years, so it hurt.”
“But you forgave her?”
Libby smiled. “She’s my sister, my blood. And like I said, I knew she didn’t do anything to hurt me. She followed her heart. I can’t blame her for that. I think I always knew that Stan and I wouldn’t work long term, that we were too much alike to actually make it last.” She paused, a grin sitting on her lips. “I think we got lazy, and the fear of starting over kept us from breaking up. But then we had that fight about the laundry soap, and that did it. Stupid fight, but if it hadn’t happened, I would be in a loveless marriage and I wouldn’t be an aunt to you, my sweet girl. So in reality, it worked out just right.”
Reaching out, she took Mekena’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Linda was made for all that mothering shit. Me, I’m the cool aunt who tries to stab your dad every other year. Good times, I tell ya.”
Mekena grinned. “Please don’t do that this visit. I don’t think I can handle it.”
“I know, my love. I’m sorry,” she said, her hand coming up to cup Mekena’s face.
Mekena’s book fell to her lap as she let out a breath. Libby’s eyes were knowing, almost like she wanted to say to forgive Skylar. But surely, Mekena was reading her wrong. A lump formed in her throat as she blurted out, “Please don’t tell me to forgive her.”
“Fuck no, not at all,” Libby laughed, shaking her head. “No, what she did, that was heartless and nothing but a betrayal. That girl has been jealous of you since you were born, and she’s a whore like your father.” She paused, holding her hand up. “That last bit might be frowned upon, so please don’t tell your mom I said that.”
Mekena smiled. “I won’t.”
“Good.” She shook her head and looked down at her lap. “I get so mad when I think about it. You’re such a sweet girl, such a good heart, and I don’t understand how someone could hurt you like that.”
Mekena’s eyes filled with tears. “I want to forgive her,” she whispered, her throat closing. “She’s my sister. But I can’t. I feel such anger and hatred in my heart. I hate that. I don’t want to feel like that, but I can’t let it go.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, Kennie.”
Swallowing hard, Mekena closed her eyes. “What would you have done?”
Libby hesitated. “Well, eh, we all know I have a bit of a violent streak, so maybe I’m not the person to ask.”
Mekena looked up, smiling, and Libby laughed. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. You’re living, not letting this hold you back, and that right there is enough. Time will heal all wounds, my love, don’t forget that.”
“I am letting it hold me back,” she admitted almost in a whisper. “I ran. I sometimes don’t even feel like me.”
Libby paused. “Well, I didn’t know that, and that’s not okay.”
“I know, and I don’t know how to fix it. Maybe I should forgive her. Let it go?”
Looking up hopefully, she knew immediately that her aunt Libby was the wrong person for this kind of advice. Especially when she held up her hands, an evasive look on her face. “I mean, I would beat her ass and cut her. But again, you’re asking the most unstable person alive.”
“Yeah, but you’re my unstable person,” Mekena said softly, and Libby grinned before gathering her in her arms.
“Come here, sweetheart,” she said gently before holding Mekena close and kissing her forehead.
Leaning into her aunt’s embrace, she closed her eyes as Libby said, “Kennie, you’re amazing and beautiful, smart to boot. I’m lucky to have you in my life, but you’re killing me, Smalls. I can’t have you not being happy, so we need to find a solution here.”
Scoffing, her eyes stayed shut as she snuggled deeper into her aunt’s arms. “Not sure how to do that.”
“What do you want?”
She didn’t even have to hesitate. She knew what she wanted. “I want to let go of this anger. I want to live the life I want, and I want to love it.”
Man, she was screwed.
“You got your angry bun on top of your head, so I guess I should have known the answer, huh?”
Mekena scoffed, cupping her hair that was in a very messy and maybe a bit angry bun. “Guess so.” Pushing her black-rimmed glasses up her nose, she read the same sentence she had been reading in her book for the last ten minutes and begged her tears to stay back. Skylar didn’t deserve them. Nor did he. No, she had to keep those for herself.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
She didn’t even look at her aunt. “Why in the hell would I want to do that?”
Libby laughed. “Hell, I don’t know. That’s what everyone always said to me.”
That made her glance up. Unlike Mekena, Libby wasn’t the least bit sad. She didn’t even look affected anymore about what had happened. Mekena guessed that since it had been over twenty-five years, Libby had healed. Did that mean it would take twenty-five years for her? Clearing her throat, she asked, “What did you say?”
Libby laughed. “I was an asshole and said to fuck off, that there was nothing to speak of, that I didn’t care. But I think Linda always knew I was a bit broken. I know she still blames herself, and it’s been eons.”
Looking away, Mekena swallowed hard. The story of how her father and mother got together wasn’t a secret. Aunt Libby and Stan dated all through high school and even into college. Everyone was convinced they’d get married, have little babies, but then they got into a huge fight and broke up. Two weeks later, he started dating Linda, and then a week later, they were married. It was nasty, and Mekena still remembered the way her grandma would speak of it all. How everyone hated Stan—and even Linda for a little while. Though they promised that nothing ever happened when he was with Libby, everyone was pretty sure that was a lie.
“Do you blame her?”
Libby shook her head. “No, I never did.”
“No?”
“No, I knew she wasn’t lying to me. I knew she wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. They clicked and we didn’t. I always knew they had something, I just didn’t think he would pursue her after me and that they’d get married so quickly. We were together for almost six years, so it hurt.”
“But you forgave her?”
Libby smiled. “She’s my sister, my blood. And like I said, I knew she didn’t do anything to hurt me. She followed her heart. I can’t blame her for that. I think I always knew that Stan and I wouldn’t work long term, that we were too much alike to actually make it last.” She paused, a grin sitting on her lips. “I think we got lazy, and the fear of starting over kept us from breaking up. But then we had that fight about the laundry soap, and that did it. Stupid fight, but if it hadn’t happened, I would be in a loveless marriage and I wouldn’t be an aunt to you, my sweet girl. So in reality, it worked out just right.”
Reaching out, she took Mekena’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Linda was made for all that mothering shit. Me, I’m the cool aunt who tries to stab your dad every other year. Good times, I tell ya.”
Mekena grinned. “Please don’t do that this visit. I don’t think I can handle it.”
“I know, my love. I’m sorry,” she said, her hand coming up to cup Mekena’s face.
Mekena’s book fell to her lap as she let out a breath. Libby’s eyes were knowing, almost like she wanted to say to forgive Skylar. But surely, Mekena was reading her wrong. A lump formed in her throat as she blurted out, “Please don’t tell me to forgive her.”
“Fuck no, not at all,” Libby laughed, shaking her head. “No, what she did, that was heartless and nothing but a betrayal. That girl has been jealous of you since you were born, and she’s a whore like your father.” She paused, holding her hand up. “That last bit might be frowned upon, so please don’t tell your mom I said that.”
Mekena smiled. “I won’t.”
“Good.” She shook her head and looked down at her lap. “I get so mad when I think about it. You’re such a sweet girl, such a good heart, and I don’t understand how someone could hurt you like that.”
Mekena’s eyes filled with tears. “I want to forgive her,” she whispered, her throat closing. “She’s my sister. But I can’t. I feel such anger and hatred in my heart. I hate that. I don’t want to feel like that, but I can’t let it go.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, Kennie.”
Swallowing hard, Mekena closed her eyes. “What would you have done?”
Libby hesitated. “Well, eh, we all know I have a bit of a violent streak, so maybe I’m not the person to ask.”
Mekena looked up, smiling, and Libby laughed. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. You’re living, not letting this hold you back, and that right there is enough. Time will heal all wounds, my love, don’t forget that.”
“I am letting it hold me back,” she admitted almost in a whisper. “I ran. I sometimes don’t even feel like me.”
Libby paused. “Well, I didn’t know that, and that’s not okay.”
“I know, and I don’t know how to fix it. Maybe I should forgive her. Let it go?”
Looking up hopefully, she knew immediately that her aunt Libby was the wrong person for this kind of advice. Especially when she held up her hands, an evasive look on her face. “I mean, I would beat her ass and cut her. But again, you’re asking the most unstable person alive.”
“Yeah, but you’re my unstable person,” Mekena said softly, and Libby grinned before gathering her in her arms.
“Come here, sweetheart,” she said gently before holding Mekena close and kissing her forehead.
Leaning into her aunt’s embrace, she closed her eyes as Libby said, “Kennie, you’re amazing and beautiful, smart to boot. I’m lucky to have you in my life, but you’re killing me, Smalls. I can’t have you not being happy, so we need to find a solution here.”
Scoffing, her eyes stayed shut as she snuggled deeper into her aunt’s arms. “Not sure how to do that.”
“What do you want?”
She didn’t even have to hesitate. She knew what she wanted. “I want to let go of this anger. I want to live the life I want, and I want to love it.”
