Face-Off at the Altar
Page 83
“Actually, I want to hear more from you.”
But Markus shook his head. “I’ve told you everything. I’m one of those people who needs a plan. I need you to shrink me. Give me what I need to do.”
She smiled widely at that. “Okay, from what I’ve gathered, you want to move on, which is great. Some people don’t. They dwell and self-destruct, but I don’t get that from you. I see that you want to live your life, that you want to push everything behind you, and a part of me thinks you’ve accepted what has happened.”
“I have,” he agreed. “I mean, I’m mad, but it’s not like I think of it every day.”
“Which is good.”
“Yeah, I mean, my thing is, I don’t want this to hinder me. I don’t want this to come back and knock me on my ass, and in the end, hurt my girlfriend.”
She nodded. “Which is another thing I’ve taken note of. You mention Mekena a lot, as in you don’t want her to ever hurt. But I don’t think you’re allowing yourself to worry about you. You’re so worried about hurting her, that you aren’t allowing yourself to heal.”
“But I feel healed. I’m over it.”
“Okay, but can you talk about it without getting upset?”
He paused. “I mean…kinda. I just don’t talk about it.”
“Yes, but you are dating your abuser’s sister. That’s Mekena’s family. No matter how mad she is at her, they might one day work it out. Will you be able to handle that?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, right now, it’s just us.”
“I know, but that could change, and then what? Are you prepared for that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Have you forgiven her?”
Markus scoffed. “God, no.”
She nodded, a grim look on her face. “And that’s okay. I wouldn’t have forgiven my abuser either, especially after what happened. The anger is still there, and it’s only been a week of knowing the truth. But Markus, I need you to realize that this may take time. As much as you want to move forward and leave it behind you, you aren’t all the way there, and that is completely okay.”
He didn’t want to hear that. He wanted to hear that he was cured, that he was healthy, and that he and Mekena would be great. “So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying this is going to take time. But with that being said, you are doing everything right. You are talking about it, you are getting help from me, and you seem to have a great relationship with Mekena. It is new, I understand that, but I feel you two can use each other to heal. This affected you both, you were both broken by this person’s actions. You just need to keep communication open.”
He nodded once more as he cleared his throat. “I don’t want to lose her. I love her.”
“I understand that, and as long as you are honest and don’t let this eat you alive, you should be fine.”
“But what if she can’t handle it?” he asked suddenly. He hadn’t realized that was a fear of his until that moment.
She pressed her lips together and slowly shrugged her shoulders. “I’m here for anyone who needs me. Send her my way. But, Markus, I can’t promise you it will last. Not only am I not a psychic, I’m also not the best at believing in true love,” she added with a laugh and he smiled. “But please don’t think I don’t believe that you love her. I do. Love just isn’t for me.”
He nodded. “I can respect that.”
“Thank you. But I understand where you are coming from, and I understand your fear. This was a very traumatic event, and I need you to realize that both of you are healing. If you aren’t honest with each other, it could be your downfall.”
Swallowing hard, he looked up, meeting her blue gaze. “So when will I be over it?”
She slowly recrossed her legs as she shook her head. “I don’t think I can answer that.”
He held her gaze. “Can you try? I need a goal. Like I said, I’m a visual learner. I need to see my goals and crush them.”
She smiled, and he decided he liked her. She got him, and he appreciated that. “Okay, Markus, but you know this could take months, or even years?”
“I understand that, but I need goals.”
“Okay, so I think when you are confident in your relationship, with being honest about how you are feeling—”
“I don’t have a problem with that—”
“You do. You are worried she can’t handle it,” she reminded him, and he paused, pressing his lips together. “I know everything is a bit up in the air, love and all that, but you have to be confident in what you feel for her and what she feels for you. You can’t be scared to hurt her feelings. You have to know you two can bounce back and be stronger. So that’s the first step. The second is when hearing your abuser’s name doesn’t hurt you. And the third is when you can forgive her.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, knowing he could crush those.
That together he and Mekena could do anything.
“The thing that is hard, Markus, is that usually, male rape victims are children, not men. So the long-term effects on those victims are more traumatic because they were so young and they trusted their assailant. But it is different with you. Not only are you strong and older, but you knew this person as an adult, and she’ll be around because of who you’ve chosen as your partner.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t be with Mekena?” he asked, ready to get up and leave.
“No, not at all. I’m saying that you’ve got yourself a mess, but I have all the faith you’ll clean it up and be happy. I think you are going to be fine. But to be totally honest, I haven’t experienced a case like this, so we are both going to have to figure this out. The main thing I need you to remember is that door right there is always open for you,” she said, pointing to the door. “That I am always here for you—and for Mekena, if she wants to come.”
He nodded as he cleared his throat. “Thank you.”
Flashing him a smile, she asked, “How do you feel?”
“Good,” he said, nodding. “I’m ready to put this behind me and live my life.”
“Great, so we have goals.”
“We have goals.”
But Markus shook his head. “I’ve told you everything. I’m one of those people who needs a plan. I need you to shrink me. Give me what I need to do.”
She smiled widely at that. “Okay, from what I’ve gathered, you want to move on, which is great. Some people don’t. They dwell and self-destruct, but I don’t get that from you. I see that you want to live your life, that you want to push everything behind you, and a part of me thinks you’ve accepted what has happened.”
“I have,” he agreed. “I mean, I’m mad, but it’s not like I think of it every day.”
“Which is good.”
“Yeah, I mean, my thing is, I don’t want this to hinder me. I don’t want this to come back and knock me on my ass, and in the end, hurt my girlfriend.”
She nodded. “Which is another thing I’ve taken note of. You mention Mekena a lot, as in you don’t want her to ever hurt. But I don’t think you’re allowing yourself to worry about you. You’re so worried about hurting her, that you aren’t allowing yourself to heal.”
“But I feel healed. I’m over it.”
“Okay, but can you talk about it without getting upset?”
He paused. “I mean…kinda. I just don’t talk about it.”
“Yes, but you are dating your abuser’s sister. That’s Mekena’s family. No matter how mad she is at her, they might one day work it out. Will you be able to handle that?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, right now, it’s just us.”
“I know, but that could change, and then what? Are you prepared for that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Have you forgiven her?”
Markus scoffed. “God, no.”
She nodded, a grim look on her face. “And that’s okay. I wouldn’t have forgiven my abuser either, especially after what happened. The anger is still there, and it’s only been a week of knowing the truth. But Markus, I need you to realize that this may take time. As much as you want to move forward and leave it behind you, you aren’t all the way there, and that is completely okay.”
He didn’t want to hear that. He wanted to hear that he was cured, that he was healthy, and that he and Mekena would be great. “So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying this is going to take time. But with that being said, you are doing everything right. You are talking about it, you are getting help from me, and you seem to have a great relationship with Mekena. It is new, I understand that, but I feel you two can use each other to heal. This affected you both, you were both broken by this person’s actions. You just need to keep communication open.”
He nodded once more as he cleared his throat. “I don’t want to lose her. I love her.”
“I understand that, and as long as you are honest and don’t let this eat you alive, you should be fine.”
“But what if she can’t handle it?” he asked suddenly. He hadn’t realized that was a fear of his until that moment.
She pressed her lips together and slowly shrugged her shoulders. “I’m here for anyone who needs me. Send her my way. But, Markus, I can’t promise you it will last. Not only am I not a psychic, I’m also not the best at believing in true love,” she added with a laugh and he smiled. “But please don’t think I don’t believe that you love her. I do. Love just isn’t for me.”
He nodded. “I can respect that.”
“Thank you. But I understand where you are coming from, and I understand your fear. This was a very traumatic event, and I need you to realize that both of you are healing. If you aren’t honest with each other, it could be your downfall.”
Swallowing hard, he looked up, meeting her blue gaze. “So when will I be over it?”
She slowly recrossed her legs as she shook her head. “I don’t think I can answer that.”
He held her gaze. “Can you try? I need a goal. Like I said, I’m a visual learner. I need to see my goals and crush them.”
She smiled, and he decided he liked her. She got him, and he appreciated that. “Okay, Markus, but you know this could take months, or even years?”
“I understand that, but I need goals.”
“Okay, so I think when you are confident in your relationship, with being honest about how you are feeling—”
“I don’t have a problem with that—”
“You do. You are worried she can’t handle it,” she reminded him, and he paused, pressing his lips together. “I know everything is a bit up in the air, love and all that, but you have to be confident in what you feel for her and what she feels for you. You can’t be scared to hurt her feelings. You have to know you two can bounce back and be stronger. So that’s the first step. The second is when hearing your abuser’s name doesn’t hurt you. And the third is when you can forgive her.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, knowing he could crush those.
That together he and Mekena could do anything.
“The thing that is hard, Markus, is that usually, male rape victims are children, not men. So the long-term effects on those victims are more traumatic because they were so young and they trusted their assailant. But it is different with you. Not only are you strong and older, but you knew this person as an adult, and she’ll be around because of who you’ve chosen as your partner.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t be with Mekena?” he asked, ready to get up and leave.
“No, not at all. I’m saying that you’ve got yourself a mess, but I have all the faith you’ll clean it up and be happy. I think you are going to be fine. But to be totally honest, I haven’t experienced a case like this, so we are both going to have to figure this out. The main thing I need you to remember is that door right there is always open for you,” she said, pointing to the door. “That I am always here for you—and for Mekena, if she wants to come.”
He nodded as he cleared his throat. “Thank you.”
Flashing him a smile, she asked, “How do you feel?”
“Good,” he said, nodding. “I’m ready to put this behind me and live my life.”
“Great, so we have goals.”
“We have goals.”
