Fallen Crest Alternative Version
Page 73
I couldn’t say it again. I sat and waited. I couldn’t do anything else.
“And you knew?” He stopped, scowling now. He sounded confused. “But...my feelings?” His gaze swung to mine again. They were piercing. “You knew?”
“I,” stopping, I swallowed. I couldn’t talk. “I think I always knew.” It came out as a whisper.
“My god,” he murmured. “My god. Mason. You. Who else knew?”
I shook my head. “We didn’t talk about it until Miranda. I don’t know who else knows.”
“Nate?”
“I don’t know.” That was the truth. “I didn’t know he did it because of your feelings until Miranda said it. It clicked then, but I knew it was the truth. I knew he was worried because of Tate. He didn’t want me to come in between you guys.”
I stopped and heard my own words in my head. He didn’t want me to come in between them. Mason hadn’t been right to manipulate Logan, but I understood why. I was already coming in between them.
“I’m sorry, Logan.” I couldn’t come between them.
He started to shake his head. “No. No, this can’t be happening. My brother doesn’t do this, not to me. He wouldn’t. There’s no way.”
He had.
Logan fell silent. Then he cursed. It was low and soft.
I jumped from the sound of it. “I’m so sorry, Logan.”
“My own brother…”
I started to stand up, but my legs weren’t working. I fell back to the couch and took a deep breath. Work. I willed them to work and then I started to stand again. It was slow and unsteady, but I stood upright.
Logan wasn’t looking at me. He was bent forward, his head was cradled again in his hands. “My own brother.” He repeated those words.
A tear slid down my cheek. I had done this. I couldn’t undo this. “I’m so sorry, Logan. I am. I really am.”
He didn’t hear me. My voice was a whisper. I left him there, like that. Going to my room, I began packing in a blind rush. Logan’s voice, the hurt in it, was on repeat in my head. I did that. I was the cause of it, and I had to fix it.
I didn’t know how long it took me, but I packed enough. Throwing my books and laptop into a bag, I took a breath and scanned the room. I felt like I was dying inside, but I only knew one thing. I couldn’t be the cause of them falling apart. After scribbling a note and leaving it on the kitchen table, I left.
I drove to my dad’s and knocked on the door. When he opened it, he took one look at me and stepped aside.
I was moving back in.
It was an hour later when he asked me what happened. I told him. “I broke up with them.”
*
Mason called me that night. He came to the house, but David didn’t let him in. Analise came over the next day, but she brought my bags with the rest of my clothes. She asked for David to leave the house before she came inside. I hated asking him, but he left without a word. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and then he whispered, “Just call when she’s gone. I’ll bring food back for us.”
More tears spilled at his kindness.
Then I sat down at the kitchen table. Analise made herself tea and she placed her cup down and took her seat. She sat as if she were the queen in her own servant’s headquarters. I snorted to myself. It hadn’t been long ago when she lived in this home, when she had been a wife to David, and now she was acting like this.
I couldn’t keep the bite from my voice as I said, “Thanks for bringing my stuff. You can leave if you want to.”
“What do you mean by that?”
I gestured at her. “It’s obvious you can’t stand being here. Go, Analise. I’m fine.”
“Honey,” she started.
I stopped her, lifting a hand. “No. I’m fine. I’m living here now.”
She frowned. “This is why I didn’t want you sleeping with him. This would’ve happened anyways. It’s probably best it happened now and not later. It would’ve been a bigger mess than it is now.”
“You’re right. It would’ve been and Mason and Logan would still hate you.”
She stiffened. “That’s a mean thing to say to me.”
I couldn’t handle it. “Are you kidding me? I loved him. You’re my mother. You’re supposed to be sympathetic. Supportive. Your first time seeing me and you’re thankful it happened now and not later. You’re happy this happened, aren’t you?”
“I brought your stuff.” She pointed at my bags. “I didn’t have to do that. I did that to help you.”
“You did that to save yourself from a bigger mess.” I rolled my eyes. This was my mother. She was selfish, shallow, and she would never be caring towards me. I knew not to expect it now. “They’re still going to hate you, Analise. Even if he does marry you, James’ sons will always loathe you.”
“Stop it.”
“No.” She came here. She judged me first. “I left Mason because I didn’t want to come between them. How dare you act like this was an inconvenience to you.” I narrowed my eyes. My anger started swirling in me. “I left to prevent more heartache. You cause heartache.”
“STOP it.”
My voice rose. “You cheated on my father.”
“I did not.”
“David. He’s my dad, no matter where the sperm came from. You were wrong to take me from him.”
“Stop it, Samantha.”
I was just starting. “You were wrong to keep me away from Garrett. You were wrong to manipulate David. You were wrong to lie to me. You lied to me. I’m your daughter. You screwed with my life so that yours was easier. That’s what you did. You put yourself before my needs.” The anger was coursing through every part of me now. I couldn’t stop even if I wanted. “You f**ked everything up. I have to pick up the pieces. Not you. Me. I have to try and make things right and I have no idea how to do that.”
“Shut up.”
I grew even more heated. “You shut up. You stop doing what you do. You ruin everything, Analise. You ruin everyone. You’re going to ruin their family too. If he doesn’t leave you, you’re going to cheat on him. You’ll meet someone else, someone even more powerful and rich and I hope, I really hope, that guy will see through you. I hope he’ll destroy you because that’s all you do.” That’s what I had done. I grew quiet, the anger still boiling in me, and I knew that I had done too much damage already to Mason and Logan. “I’ll stay away. I’ll stay out of Mason and Logan’s lives, but you can’t hurt anyone else.”
“And you knew?” He stopped, scowling now. He sounded confused. “But...my feelings?” His gaze swung to mine again. They were piercing. “You knew?”
“I,” stopping, I swallowed. I couldn’t talk. “I think I always knew.” It came out as a whisper.
“My god,” he murmured. “My god. Mason. You. Who else knew?”
I shook my head. “We didn’t talk about it until Miranda. I don’t know who else knows.”
“Nate?”
“I don’t know.” That was the truth. “I didn’t know he did it because of your feelings until Miranda said it. It clicked then, but I knew it was the truth. I knew he was worried because of Tate. He didn’t want me to come in between you guys.”
I stopped and heard my own words in my head. He didn’t want me to come in between them. Mason hadn’t been right to manipulate Logan, but I understood why. I was already coming in between them.
“I’m sorry, Logan.” I couldn’t come between them.
He started to shake his head. “No. No, this can’t be happening. My brother doesn’t do this, not to me. He wouldn’t. There’s no way.”
He had.
Logan fell silent. Then he cursed. It was low and soft.
I jumped from the sound of it. “I’m so sorry, Logan.”
“My own brother…”
I started to stand up, but my legs weren’t working. I fell back to the couch and took a deep breath. Work. I willed them to work and then I started to stand again. It was slow and unsteady, but I stood upright.
Logan wasn’t looking at me. He was bent forward, his head was cradled again in his hands. “My own brother.” He repeated those words.
A tear slid down my cheek. I had done this. I couldn’t undo this. “I’m so sorry, Logan. I am. I really am.”
He didn’t hear me. My voice was a whisper. I left him there, like that. Going to my room, I began packing in a blind rush. Logan’s voice, the hurt in it, was on repeat in my head. I did that. I was the cause of it, and I had to fix it.
I didn’t know how long it took me, but I packed enough. Throwing my books and laptop into a bag, I took a breath and scanned the room. I felt like I was dying inside, but I only knew one thing. I couldn’t be the cause of them falling apart. After scribbling a note and leaving it on the kitchen table, I left.
I drove to my dad’s and knocked on the door. When he opened it, he took one look at me and stepped aside.
I was moving back in.
It was an hour later when he asked me what happened. I told him. “I broke up with them.”
*
Mason called me that night. He came to the house, but David didn’t let him in. Analise came over the next day, but she brought my bags with the rest of my clothes. She asked for David to leave the house before she came inside. I hated asking him, but he left without a word. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and then he whispered, “Just call when she’s gone. I’ll bring food back for us.”
More tears spilled at his kindness.
Then I sat down at the kitchen table. Analise made herself tea and she placed her cup down and took her seat. She sat as if she were the queen in her own servant’s headquarters. I snorted to myself. It hadn’t been long ago when she lived in this home, when she had been a wife to David, and now she was acting like this.
I couldn’t keep the bite from my voice as I said, “Thanks for bringing my stuff. You can leave if you want to.”
“What do you mean by that?”
I gestured at her. “It’s obvious you can’t stand being here. Go, Analise. I’m fine.”
“Honey,” she started.
I stopped her, lifting a hand. “No. I’m fine. I’m living here now.”
She frowned. “This is why I didn’t want you sleeping with him. This would’ve happened anyways. It’s probably best it happened now and not later. It would’ve been a bigger mess than it is now.”
“You’re right. It would’ve been and Mason and Logan would still hate you.”
She stiffened. “That’s a mean thing to say to me.”
I couldn’t handle it. “Are you kidding me? I loved him. You’re my mother. You’re supposed to be sympathetic. Supportive. Your first time seeing me and you’re thankful it happened now and not later. You’re happy this happened, aren’t you?”
“I brought your stuff.” She pointed at my bags. “I didn’t have to do that. I did that to help you.”
“You did that to save yourself from a bigger mess.” I rolled my eyes. This was my mother. She was selfish, shallow, and she would never be caring towards me. I knew not to expect it now. “They’re still going to hate you, Analise. Even if he does marry you, James’ sons will always loathe you.”
“Stop it.”
“No.” She came here. She judged me first. “I left Mason because I didn’t want to come between them. How dare you act like this was an inconvenience to you.” I narrowed my eyes. My anger started swirling in me. “I left to prevent more heartache. You cause heartache.”
“STOP it.”
My voice rose. “You cheated on my father.”
“I did not.”
“David. He’s my dad, no matter where the sperm came from. You were wrong to take me from him.”
“Stop it, Samantha.”
I was just starting. “You were wrong to keep me away from Garrett. You were wrong to manipulate David. You were wrong to lie to me. You lied to me. I’m your daughter. You screwed with my life so that yours was easier. That’s what you did. You put yourself before my needs.” The anger was coursing through every part of me now. I couldn’t stop even if I wanted. “You f**ked everything up. I have to pick up the pieces. Not you. Me. I have to try and make things right and I have no idea how to do that.”
“Shut up.”
I grew even more heated. “You shut up. You stop doing what you do. You ruin everything, Analise. You ruin everyone. You’re going to ruin their family too. If he doesn’t leave you, you’re going to cheat on him. You’ll meet someone else, someone even more powerful and rich and I hope, I really hope, that guy will see through you. I hope he’ll destroy you because that’s all you do.” That’s what I had done. I grew quiet, the anger still boiling in me, and I knew that I had done too much damage already to Mason and Logan. “I’ll stay away. I’ll stay out of Mason and Logan’s lives, but you can’t hurt anyone else.”
