Fallen Crest Family
Page 45
"Nothing."
I pulled away from him, but he didn't release my hands. He kept them in his grip and he bent down so he could see me eye to eye. "Sam, talk to me. What is going on with you? I'm lying to your mom. Logan said about you running away and how they can't press charges against you? Then you took this job at Manny's, which I kind of understand, but now you're living here? What happened with your mom?"
"Sam?"
A whimper came from the doorway. I knew Becky had heard everything. Oh god. The secrets were out, but were they even secrets?
"Sam." Adam pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me. He rested his chin on top of my head and smoothed a hand down my back. "You can talk to us. Becky messed up—"
She scooted closer. "I did. I really did. I'm sorry, Sam. I really am."
He continued after a deep breath, "—but she still cares about you. So do I, and I'm trying to embrace this platonic stuff here. I don't know what boundary is where and what line says only friendship, but you need to start helping out. I think if you talked to us, that'd be okay. Right?" He looked over his shoulder to Becky. "You'd ask this, right?"
She bobbed her head up and down. Her hands were folded in front of her as she scooted closer two steps. "Yes. I would. I'd want to know—"
I pushed away from Adam and rounded on her. "You don't get to do this."
Her eyes went wide. "Do what?"
"Come in here and try to get around your apology."
"My apology?" She gulped. Raz sidled up next to her, but he only took one of her hands in his.
All the anger, all the turmoil inside of me wrapped together as I lashed out, "You knew Adam was hurt by me. You knew he was angry, and you still believed him. What'd he even say, Becky? That I laughed at you behind your back? Does that sound like me? When have I ever laughed at someone? Ever! And you thought I was laughing at you, the only person who was my friend after what Jeff did to me, after what Jessica and Lydia did to me? Did you really think that I would laugh at you?"
Her head hung down again. Her soft, "No," was almost inaudible, but I heard.
It stung.
I reared back a step. I couldn't believe what I had heard. "You didn't believe him?"
"No." Her head came back up, and all the blood was gone. She was pale and trembling. Raz tried to stop both of her hands, but her legs were shaking too. "I knew you wouldn't have done that to me, but it hurt when he said it. I did believe him at first, kind of, but I didn't at the same time. It made sense to me. You were dating Mason Kade. You were friends with his brother. I mean, why would you be friends with me? I'm nothing." She stopped as her voice started to quiver.
I wanted to curse at her. She hurt me, and I was supposed to feel sorry for her? "Give me a break."
She gasped. Her eyes were wide once again. She visibly swallowed, clinging to her boyfriend's hand.
I shook my head. All the hurt and anger, I needed it out of me. I already had so much for Analise. I didn't need any more. It needed to be gone. But I couldn't deny what I felt. "You're not nothing. You've never been nothing. You were the only friend I had, even before I started dating Mason."
"You had me," Adam spoke up.
I snorted at him. "Really?"
He flashed me a tight grin. "Shutting up. This isn't about me."
"Thank you."
More tears had fallen over Becky's face, but she ignored them. "I'm really sorry, Sam. I really am. I was so stupid, and I was hurt."
"Why?" That made no sense.
"Because I felt left out. I knew you were close to the Kades, but it wasn't until that last party when I realized how tight you were with them. I mean, hello. Mason Kade is fighting for you, and then Logan snubs Lydia f for you. She came onto him and he smacked her back and for what? For you. Those two care so much about you and when you're with them, it's like no one else matters except you three. You never even invited me to your home before, like I wasn't good enough or something."
"The four of them."
"What?" She looked at Adam.
He stiffened. "The four of them. Nate Monson's in there too."
"Oh yeah. I know, but he wasn't always around then. But that too. Look at this place. You're living at his house. He moved back, and now you're here with them. It's the four of you guys again."
I didn't know what to say. A part of me didn't care anymore. Her feelings were hurt? Well, she'd gotten me back. Good for her.
Becky hadn't stopped crying. Her boyfriend raised his skinny hand and wiped a few tears away. His thumb caressed her cheek and skimmed under her eye. The touch was gentle and loving. She was with someone who loved her. I could tell, just from watching him. I drew in an anguished breath. Becky was dating someone. She had someone who loved her. It started to really dawn on me. She had met a boy, dated a boy, had more dates with him, and hadn't told me. That was my job as her friend—I felt robbed of that.
I closed my eyes and turned away. I knew what I needed to do and it hurt. But it needed to be done.
"Sam?" Her voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. "Can you please forgive me? I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for believing Adam's lies."
I shook my head. I needed to forgive her and I knew I would, but she needed to realize something. I looked up with a tear in my own eye. "You wanted to believe him."
She flinched, like I had slapped her.
I pressed, "I didn't leave you behind. I didn't laugh at you behind your back. I wasn't using you. And you knew all of that, but you wanted to believe Adam's lie even when you knew it wasn't true. I think you did it because you were mad at me."
"But—" Her mouth hung open.
Adam frowned. "Why would she be mad at you?"
I shrugged, though my eyes never left hers. Then I saw it. Guilt. When her head went back down, I knew I'd been right. "She was mad at me because I had what she wanted. You were jealous, weren't you?"
Her head nodded up and down, but she didn't say a word.
"I had what you wanted, didn't I?"
As she looked back up, the anguish was all over her. More tears flooded her, her mouth was turned down in a frown, and she shook her head. "I'm so stupid, right? You went to the top, Sam. You got the guys that no one could get. I mean, you got both of them. Logan Kade worships the ground you walk on. You got what everyone wanted, not just me. Can you blame me for being jealous? Isn't that a human thing for me to do? To be jealous?" A sickened laugh bubbled out of her. "Yeah, I was mad at you. Yeah, I was jealous of you, but I was your friend. I'm sorry that I let myself believe Adam's lie. It was horrible of me. I know that and I really regret it. I really do, Sam. I really really do."
I pulled away from him, but he didn't release my hands. He kept them in his grip and he bent down so he could see me eye to eye. "Sam, talk to me. What is going on with you? I'm lying to your mom. Logan said about you running away and how they can't press charges against you? Then you took this job at Manny's, which I kind of understand, but now you're living here? What happened with your mom?"
"Sam?"
A whimper came from the doorway. I knew Becky had heard everything. Oh god. The secrets were out, but were they even secrets?
"Sam." Adam pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me. He rested his chin on top of my head and smoothed a hand down my back. "You can talk to us. Becky messed up—"
She scooted closer. "I did. I really did. I'm sorry, Sam. I really am."
He continued after a deep breath, "—but she still cares about you. So do I, and I'm trying to embrace this platonic stuff here. I don't know what boundary is where and what line says only friendship, but you need to start helping out. I think if you talked to us, that'd be okay. Right?" He looked over his shoulder to Becky. "You'd ask this, right?"
She bobbed her head up and down. Her hands were folded in front of her as she scooted closer two steps. "Yes. I would. I'd want to know—"
I pushed away from Adam and rounded on her. "You don't get to do this."
Her eyes went wide. "Do what?"
"Come in here and try to get around your apology."
"My apology?" She gulped. Raz sidled up next to her, but he only took one of her hands in his.
All the anger, all the turmoil inside of me wrapped together as I lashed out, "You knew Adam was hurt by me. You knew he was angry, and you still believed him. What'd he even say, Becky? That I laughed at you behind your back? Does that sound like me? When have I ever laughed at someone? Ever! And you thought I was laughing at you, the only person who was my friend after what Jeff did to me, after what Jessica and Lydia did to me? Did you really think that I would laugh at you?"
Her head hung down again. Her soft, "No," was almost inaudible, but I heard.
It stung.
I reared back a step. I couldn't believe what I had heard. "You didn't believe him?"
"No." Her head came back up, and all the blood was gone. She was pale and trembling. Raz tried to stop both of her hands, but her legs were shaking too. "I knew you wouldn't have done that to me, but it hurt when he said it. I did believe him at first, kind of, but I didn't at the same time. It made sense to me. You were dating Mason Kade. You were friends with his brother. I mean, why would you be friends with me? I'm nothing." She stopped as her voice started to quiver.
I wanted to curse at her. She hurt me, and I was supposed to feel sorry for her? "Give me a break."
She gasped. Her eyes were wide once again. She visibly swallowed, clinging to her boyfriend's hand.
I shook my head. All the hurt and anger, I needed it out of me. I already had so much for Analise. I didn't need any more. It needed to be gone. But I couldn't deny what I felt. "You're not nothing. You've never been nothing. You were the only friend I had, even before I started dating Mason."
"You had me," Adam spoke up.
I snorted at him. "Really?"
He flashed me a tight grin. "Shutting up. This isn't about me."
"Thank you."
More tears had fallen over Becky's face, but she ignored them. "I'm really sorry, Sam. I really am. I was so stupid, and I was hurt."
"Why?" That made no sense.
"Because I felt left out. I knew you were close to the Kades, but it wasn't until that last party when I realized how tight you were with them. I mean, hello. Mason Kade is fighting for you, and then Logan snubs Lydia f for you. She came onto him and he smacked her back and for what? For you. Those two care so much about you and when you're with them, it's like no one else matters except you three. You never even invited me to your home before, like I wasn't good enough or something."
"The four of them."
"What?" She looked at Adam.
He stiffened. "The four of them. Nate Monson's in there too."
"Oh yeah. I know, but he wasn't always around then. But that too. Look at this place. You're living at his house. He moved back, and now you're here with them. It's the four of you guys again."
I didn't know what to say. A part of me didn't care anymore. Her feelings were hurt? Well, she'd gotten me back. Good for her.
Becky hadn't stopped crying. Her boyfriend raised his skinny hand and wiped a few tears away. His thumb caressed her cheek and skimmed under her eye. The touch was gentle and loving. She was with someone who loved her. I could tell, just from watching him. I drew in an anguished breath. Becky was dating someone. She had someone who loved her. It started to really dawn on me. She had met a boy, dated a boy, had more dates with him, and hadn't told me. That was my job as her friend—I felt robbed of that.
I closed my eyes and turned away. I knew what I needed to do and it hurt. But it needed to be done.
"Sam?" Her voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. "Can you please forgive me? I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for believing Adam's lies."
I shook my head. I needed to forgive her and I knew I would, but she needed to realize something. I looked up with a tear in my own eye. "You wanted to believe him."
She flinched, like I had slapped her.
I pressed, "I didn't leave you behind. I didn't laugh at you behind your back. I wasn't using you. And you knew all of that, but you wanted to believe Adam's lie even when you knew it wasn't true. I think you did it because you were mad at me."
"But—" Her mouth hung open.
Adam frowned. "Why would she be mad at you?"
I shrugged, though my eyes never left hers. Then I saw it. Guilt. When her head went back down, I knew I'd been right. "She was mad at me because I had what she wanted. You were jealous, weren't you?"
Her head nodded up and down, but she didn't say a word.
"I had what you wanted, didn't I?"
As she looked back up, the anguish was all over her. More tears flooded her, her mouth was turned down in a frown, and she shook her head. "I'm so stupid, right? You went to the top, Sam. You got the guys that no one could get. I mean, you got both of them. Logan Kade worships the ground you walk on. You got what everyone wanted, not just me. Can you blame me for being jealous? Isn't that a human thing for me to do? To be jealous?" A sickened laugh bubbled out of her. "Yeah, I was mad at you. Yeah, I was jealous of you, but I was your friend. I'm sorry that I let myself believe Adam's lie. It was horrible of me. I know that and I really regret it. I really do, Sam. I really really do."
