Fallen Fourth Down
Page 80
He didn’t even blink. “I’m going with you.”
“Good.” I still wasn’t sure, but my gut was telling me he was speaking the truth. He really was back, but hell, the image of Logan and Sam so close together had thrown me off balance. I needed to regroup and center. I nodded. “Go to the house. Pack your stuff and get out of there. Call me afterwards.”
“Okay.” He started to leave, but remembered who was out there and turned back. “You want me to go out there? Or…” He gestured out the door.
I knew what he was asking, and I moved ahead. “Let me go first. I’m going to have Logan go and get a hotel room, and I’ll bring Sam later, after she’s done talking to Marissa.”
“Okay.” He stepped back. “Wait. Marissa?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t explain it to him. I didn’t want to. It’d be explained later in the hotel room, but for now, Marissa didn’t know who hit her. It was my say only. When I questioned her, she claimed she never saw who called my name. She hadn’t even remembered that someone had called my name until I told her. I pressed her, though. I needed to know if she remembered or not, and she held up under my interrogation. She really had no idea, which was good. I had no plans on going to the police. I wanted Marissa’s hit and run to be just that, a hit and run. The camera feed from the parking lot wouldn’t be good. It was dark and raining. There was no chance it could’ve picked much up. They’d question me, and I would handle those questions fine. As I went outside, I already had a plan set in mind, but it would take steps.
And the first step was dealing with Sam and my brother. I heard her say, “You can’t love me!” and the dagger got shoved deeper in me and yanked to the side. She said something else, but my blood was boiling. I couldn’t let my control slip. If it did, I didn’t know if I’d be able to keep from hitting Logan.
When I spoke, Logan jerked away from her and Sam paled. She looked ready to either run or crumble. If she did, I’d have no sympathy for her. When I told her that Marissa wanted to talk to her, I was grateful. It was a break from the sudden tension, and I was literally counting down the seconds until she left and went inside. I wished that Marissa would prolong her apology to Sam.
Then my brother said, “I don’t love her.”
I snorted. “Don’t fucking lie.”
“I don’t, Mason.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to deal with this. “You’ve loved her since the cabin.”
He was silent. I didn’t give a shit. I continued to shake my head, laughing at myself. “I’ve known, Logan. I’m not stupid.”
Then he sighed, and I heard his surrender in that sound. He murmured, “Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter. I don’t love her like you do, and I know she doesn’t love me like she loves you.”
This was a clusterfuck. The whole thing. My brother and my soul mate. “I should’ve seen this coming a long time ago. It should’ve been dealt with before now.”
“Dealt with? How? By you not going for her?” Logan pushed off from the wall and started pacing in a small, tight circle. “This is bullshit. I’m going to lay all my cards out and whether you believe them or not is up to you, but this is the truth from me. I love Sam as a sister. I love her as family. I love her as a best friend, and yes, I could’ve loved her. I could’ve dated her, and maybe I could’ve married her. I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter because we’re not meant to be together. I realized how I could have felt, and I stopped it. She’s my sister. That’s all she is to me. She’s family. No guy would’ve held up against you. She’s said that to me. No guy. Not as long as she knew you, and that tells me you’re the one. You’re the real deal for her. No one else even holds a slight shot against you.”
He might’ve made her happier, though. That was the hardest piece to swallow. Maybe another guy would’ve made Sam happier than I could? As I forced myself to think about that, it was like Sam had reached down, grabbed my balls, and yanked them off. Then she started to play with them, even throwing them to Logan in a game of catch.
“I know what you’re thinking.”
I cursed, throwing him a sideways glance. “I highly doubt you do.”
“That I would’ve made her happier.”
Fuck. He did.
He added, “But not as much as you do. I don’t know what to tell you to make you understand. You’re like sunlight to her. I’m the fucking lamp in the corner.” He paused and shook his head. “No, screw that. You’re the sun to her, while I’m a chandelier. Still beautiful, but one drastically outshines the other.”
I sighed. “Yeah, well, I’ll talk to her later about this.”
Logan gave me a half-grin. “Come on. The chandelier comment was funny. That’s serious Golden Logan shit.” He looked past me and the attempt at humor faded. “What’s up, Traitor?”
Nate came to stand next to me. He shook his head. “I didn’t know they were going after him. I swear.”
“And now you do?” Logan was baiting him, watching him darkly. “What side are you picking?”
“Do you have to ask?”
“Yes,” Logan threw back. “I do and that’s what pisses me off. I shouldn’t have to ask.”
Nate was brimming with anger next to me. I could feel his tension. He gritted his teeth. “Back off, Logan. You have no idea how hard it is to be friends with you guys. I love you guys, but I’m nothing compared to you. Sue me for wanting to branch out and get some of my own friends this year. I’m sorry they turned out to be psychopathic assholes. Mason punched me, me, his best friend. That had nothing to do with the fraternity, and I had nothing to do with what they did to Mason, or tried to do. Park lied to me. I was wrong. I just wanted Mason to be a part of my other life, one where I’m not in third place every time.”
Logan lifted an eyebrow, looked at me, then back to Nate. “That really touched me. I have no smartass comment to follow that.” He patted Nate’s shoulder. “Good job. I will call you Three from now on.”
Nate groaned. “Really, Logan?”
He smirked at him. “I wasn’t aware of how inferior you felt to me. I mean, that’s a compliment since I’m a year younger and you’re Nate Fucking Monson.”
“Good.” I still wasn’t sure, but my gut was telling me he was speaking the truth. He really was back, but hell, the image of Logan and Sam so close together had thrown me off balance. I needed to regroup and center. I nodded. “Go to the house. Pack your stuff and get out of there. Call me afterwards.”
“Okay.” He started to leave, but remembered who was out there and turned back. “You want me to go out there? Or…” He gestured out the door.
I knew what he was asking, and I moved ahead. “Let me go first. I’m going to have Logan go and get a hotel room, and I’ll bring Sam later, after she’s done talking to Marissa.”
“Okay.” He stepped back. “Wait. Marissa?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t explain it to him. I didn’t want to. It’d be explained later in the hotel room, but for now, Marissa didn’t know who hit her. It was my say only. When I questioned her, she claimed she never saw who called my name. She hadn’t even remembered that someone had called my name until I told her. I pressed her, though. I needed to know if she remembered or not, and she held up under my interrogation. She really had no idea, which was good. I had no plans on going to the police. I wanted Marissa’s hit and run to be just that, a hit and run. The camera feed from the parking lot wouldn’t be good. It was dark and raining. There was no chance it could’ve picked much up. They’d question me, and I would handle those questions fine. As I went outside, I already had a plan set in mind, but it would take steps.
And the first step was dealing with Sam and my brother. I heard her say, “You can’t love me!” and the dagger got shoved deeper in me and yanked to the side. She said something else, but my blood was boiling. I couldn’t let my control slip. If it did, I didn’t know if I’d be able to keep from hitting Logan.
When I spoke, Logan jerked away from her and Sam paled. She looked ready to either run or crumble. If she did, I’d have no sympathy for her. When I told her that Marissa wanted to talk to her, I was grateful. It was a break from the sudden tension, and I was literally counting down the seconds until she left and went inside. I wished that Marissa would prolong her apology to Sam.
Then my brother said, “I don’t love her.”
I snorted. “Don’t fucking lie.”
“I don’t, Mason.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to deal with this. “You’ve loved her since the cabin.”
He was silent. I didn’t give a shit. I continued to shake my head, laughing at myself. “I’ve known, Logan. I’m not stupid.”
Then he sighed, and I heard his surrender in that sound. He murmured, “Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter. I don’t love her like you do, and I know she doesn’t love me like she loves you.”
This was a clusterfuck. The whole thing. My brother and my soul mate. “I should’ve seen this coming a long time ago. It should’ve been dealt with before now.”
“Dealt with? How? By you not going for her?” Logan pushed off from the wall and started pacing in a small, tight circle. “This is bullshit. I’m going to lay all my cards out and whether you believe them or not is up to you, but this is the truth from me. I love Sam as a sister. I love her as family. I love her as a best friend, and yes, I could’ve loved her. I could’ve dated her, and maybe I could’ve married her. I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter because we’re not meant to be together. I realized how I could have felt, and I stopped it. She’s my sister. That’s all she is to me. She’s family. No guy would’ve held up against you. She’s said that to me. No guy. Not as long as she knew you, and that tells me you’re the one. You’re the real deal for her. No one else even holds a slight shot against you.”
He might’ve made her happier, though. That was the hardest piece to swallow. Maybe another guy would’ve made Sam happier than I could? As I forced myself to think about that, it was like Sam had reached down, grabbed my balls, and yanked them off. Then she started to play with them, even throwing them to Logan in a game of catch.
“I know what you’re thinking.”
I cursed, throwing him a sideways glance. “I highly doubt you do.”
“That I would’ve made her happier.”
Fuck. He did.
He added, “But not as much as you do. I don’t know what to tell you to make you understand. You’re like sunlight to her. I’m the fucking lamp in the corner.” He paused and shook his head. “No, screw that. You’re the sun to her, while I’m a chandelier. Still beautiful, but one drastically outshines the other.”
I sighed. “Yeah, well, I’ll talk to her later about this.”
Logan gave me a half-grin. “Come on. The chandelier comment was funny. That’s serious Golden Logan shit.” He looked past me and the attempt at humor faded. “What’s up, Traitor?”
Nate came to stand next to me. He shook his head. “I didn’t know they were going after him. I swear.”
“And now you do?” Logan was baiting him, watching him darkly. “What side are you picking?”
“Do you have to ask?”
“Yes,” Logan threw back. “I do and that’s what pisses me off. I shouldn’t have to ask.”
Nate was brimming with anger next to me. I could feel his tension. He gritted his teeth. “Back off, Logan. You have no idea how hard it is to be friends with you guys. I love you guys, but I’m nothing compared to you. Sue me for wanting to branch out and get some of my own friends this year. I’m sorry they turned out to be psychopathic assholes. Mason punched me, me, his best friend. That had nothing to do with the fraternity, and I had nothing to do with what they did to Mason, or tried to do. Park lied to me. I was wrong. I just wanted Mason to be a part of my other life, one where I’m not in third place every time.”
Logan lifted an eyebrow, looked at me, then back to Nate. “That really touched me. I have no smartass comment to follow that.” He patted Nate’s shoulder. “Good job. I will call you Three from now on.”
Nate groaned. “Really, Logan?”
He smirked at him. “I wasn’t aware of how inferior you felt to me. I mean, that’s a compliment since I’m a year younger and you’re Nate Fucking Monson.”
