Falling Away
Page 107
He narrowed his eyes, taken aback.
I continued. “She’ll see it, because you’ve stopped talking to her, you’ve stopped touching her, and the Boss has been under a tarp for years, and she can’t figure out why you don’t smile anymore.” I held his eyes. “She didn’t see that you took on a career you hated because you wanted to feel worthy of her. Because you knew how much a doctor would make, and you didn’t want your wife to be ashamed of you. And she’ll notice that over the years, your heart grew colder, the house grew more silent, and she’ll cry at night because she sees how the new neighbor flirts with you and how you like it. It’s the first thing in a long time that makes you feel alive.”
Fear flashed in his eyes, and he watched me, not breathing.
I lowered my voice to a near whisper. “You’re dying inside, and you’re killing her along with you, and you don’t even know it.” I paused, seeing the pain in his eyes. “At least I cut Juliet loose,” I said.
There was nothing more to say. Nothing he could tell me that I hadn’t already called, and I saw the hurt all over his face, because he knew what I said was true.
We were both fucked.
“Jared?”
I shot my eyes up, and Jared jerked his head around, both of us seeing Tate take a slow, single step into the kitchen.
I closed my eyes, letting out a quiet sigh.
Shit.
Tears had welled up in her storm-blue eyes, and Jared and I both knew she’d heard everything.
“Is that true?” she asked, her voice cracking. “Are you unhappy?”
Jared dropped his head, looking away from her as the muscles in his jaw flexed. “Get the fuck out of here,” he said through gritted teeth, and I knew he was talking to me. “I’m going to put you through a fucking wall. Get out.”
He wasn’t lying. And I deserved it.
I grabbed my shirt off the kitchen chair and left the house.
I had no right to judge my brother. Maybe he hated going to school, maybe he hated the military, but maybe Tate was his dream, and for her, he’d put up with anything because she was his happiness.
I’d felt like shit, and I’d wanted him to feel it, too.
When did I start hating everyone?
I drove the quiet streets, still desolate at seven thirty in the morning, as I thought about how screwed up my life had gotten in the past few weeks. The routine that I loved had lost its luster, and I’d be happy if I never looked at a fucking computer again.
Pulling a sharp right, I barreled into the school parking lot with only one thought in mind. To run myself to exhaustion around the track.
But as I pulled into a space, I slammed on the brakes, seeing Liam’s Camaro parked next to the janitor’s truck.
The janitor opened the school every morning at six thirty. What the hell was Liam doing here?
I threw open the door and climbed out, slipping on my black T-shirt before slamming the door and jamming up the steps.
Heading straight for the stairs, I climbed up to the second floor and headed for the chem lab.
Juliet wouldn’t be here this early, but I still needed to make sure. My running shoes squeaked on the marble floor, but I heard his voice before I even reached the room.
“I loved you,” he said, sounding pained. “I still love you.”
I slowed, coming to a stop outside the door.
“I just never felt like you wanted me. Not really,” he continued. “I was an asshole. I know that, but”—he paused, and I could hear his heavy breathing—“baby, I just hate seeing you with him.”
I heard a chair scrape on the floor, and Juliet sounded stern. “You cheated on me. Twice,” she pointed out, sounding out of patience. “You’re cheating on what’s her name right now by coming here. I have no doubt that I’m partly to blame for our relationship failing, but you’re an incredible piece of work. Don’t call me and don’t try to see me again.”
A slight grin lifted my lips.
“Now, just go,” Juliet said, sounding exasperated.
“Baby,” he breathed out, and I heard shuffling.
“Liam!” she cried. “No!”
I charged in, but I immediately stopped.
Liam was hunched over, holding the side of his face, and Juliet looked down on him, spitting fire with her eyes. She’d hit him.
“Let’s pretend,” she growled at him, “that we’re in a parallel dimension where you have a brain. Nod if you know what’s going to happen to you if you ever touch me again.”
He scowled up at her, looking utterly humiliated, and then both of their eyes turned to me. Juliet blinked but looked back down at him, putting her hands on her hips, while Liam straightened and rubbed his cheek.
“Why am I even surprised?” he said, sneering, walking for the door. “You let me in your pants so quickly, I guess you didn’t make him wait long, either.”
I reached out and grabbed his collar, wanting his sleazy ass far away from her. I didn’t even want him in her memories.
“Jax!” Juliet commanded, and I held him up to my face.
I looked into Liam’s angry but scared blue eyes, and I whispered, “You touch her again, and you won’t have to worry about what she’ll do to you.” And I shoved him out the door, watching him stumble into the hallway.
“Why are you here?” Juliet demanded behind me. “You’re no better than him. You can get out, too.”
I shook my head, knowing she was right, but I was still cemented to the floor. “No,” I replied.
I continued. “She’ll see it, because you’ve stopped talking to her, you’ve stopped touching her, and the Boss has been under a tarp for years, and she can’t figure out why you don’t smile anymore.” I held his eyes. “She didn’t see that you took on a career you hated because you wanted to feel worthy of her. Because you knew how much a doctor would make, and you didn’t want your wife to be ashamed of you. And she’ll notice that over the years, your heart grew colder, the house grew more silent, and she’ll cry at night because she sees how the new neighbor flirts with you and how you like it. It’s the first thing in a long time that makes you feel alive.”
Fear flashed in his eyes, and he watched me, not breathing.
I lowered my voice to a near whisper. “You’re dying inside, and you’re killing her along with you, and you don’t even know it.” I paused, seeing the pain in his eyes. “At least I cut Juliet loose,” I said.
There was nothing more to say. Nothing he could tell me that I hadn’t already called, and I saw the hurt all over his face, because he knew what I said was true.
We were both fucked.
“Jared?”
I shot my eyes up, and Jared jerked his head around, both of us seeing Tate take a slow, single step into the kitchen.
I closed my eyes, letting out a quiet sigh.
Shit.
Tears had welled up in her storm-blue eyes, and Jared and I both knew she’d heard everything.
“Is that true?” she asked, her voice cracking. “Are you unhappy?”
Jared dropped his head, looking away from her as the muscles in his jaw flexed. “Get the fuck out of here,” he said through gritted teeth, and I knew he was talking to me. “I’m going to put you through a fucking wall. Get out.”
He wasn’t lying. And I deserved it.
I grabbed my shirt off the kitchen chair and left the house.
I had no right to judge my brother. Maybe he hated going to school, maybe he hated the military, but maybe Tate was his dream, and for her, he’d put up with anything because she was his happiness.
I’d felt like shit, and I’d wanted him to feel it, too.
When did I start hating everyone?
I drove the quiet streets, still desolate at seven thirty in the morning, as I thought about how screwed up my life had gotten in the past few weeks. The routine that I loved had lost its luster, and I’d be happy if I never looked at a fucking computer again.
Pulling a sharp right, I barreled into the school parking lot with only one thought in mind. To run myself to exhaustion around the track.
But as I pulled into a space, I slammed on the brakes, seeing Liam’s Camaro parked next to the janitor’s truck.
The janitor opened the school every morning at six thirty. What the hell was Liam doing here?
I threw open the door and climbed out, slipping on my black T-shirt before slamming the door and jamming up the steps.
Heading straight for the stairs, I climbed up to the second floor and headed for the chem lab.
Juliet wouldn’t be here this early, but I still needed to make sure. My running shoes squeaked on the marble floor, but I heard his voice before I even reached the room.
“I loved you,” he said, sounding pained. “I still love you.”
I slowed, coming to a stop outside the door.
“I just never felt like you wanted me. Not really,” he continued. “I was an asshole. I know that, but”—he paused, and I could hear his heavy breathing—“baby, I just hate seeing you with him.”
I heard a chair scrape on the floor, and Juliet sounded stern. “You cheated on me. Twice,” she pointed out, sounding out of patience. “You’re cheating on what’s her name right now by coming here. I have no doubt that I’m partly to blame for our relationship failing, but you’re an incredible piece of work. Don’t call me and don’t try to see me again.”
A slight grin lifted my lips.
“Now, just go,” Juliet said, sounding exasperated.
“Baby,” he breathed out, and I heard shuffling.
“Liam!” she cried. “No!”
I charged in, but I immediately stopped.
Liam was hunched over, holding the side of his face, and Juliet looked down on him, spitting fire with her eyes. She’d hit him.
“Let’s pretend,” she growled at him, “that we’re in a parallel dimension where you have a brain. Nod if you know what’s going to happen to you if you ever touch me again.”
He scowled up at her, looking utterly humiliated, and then both of their eyes turned to me. Juliet blinked but looked back down at him, putting her hands on her hips, while Liam straightened and rubbed his cheek.
“Why am I even surprised?” he said, sneering, walking for the door. “You let me in your pants so quickly, I guess you didn’t make him wait long, either.”
I reached out and grabbed his collar, wanting his sleazy ass far away from her. I didn’t even want him in her memories.
“Jax!” Juliet commanded, and I held him up to my face.
I looked into Liam’s angry but scared blue eyes, and I whispered, “You touch her again, and you won’t have to worry about what she’ll do to you.” And I shoved him out the door, watching him stumble into the hallway.
“Why are you here?” Juliet demanded behind me. “You’re no better than him. You can get out, too.”
I shook my head, knowing she was right, but I was still cemented to the floor. “No,” I replied.
