Falling Away
Page 33
She stood with a hand on her hip and a friendly smile on her lips, but it was weird. She looked at Jax more as if they grew up together rather than that they’d been naked together.
And then her blue eyes flashed to me and her eyebrows shot up.
“She’s hot.” She nodded her approval to Jax. “Call me later if you guys want company, okay?”
Huh?
“Excuse me?” I blurted out.
She hadn’t just offered … I ran my tongue over my dry lips, not sure I’d heard her right. Her lazy smile played with me, and it was very clear that she wanted to … yeah.
“Honey.” She laughed. “It usually takes two girls to wear this one out.” She pointed to Jax.
“Cameron, Jesus.” Jax ran a hand through this hair. “Use your filter. Please.” And then he turned to look at me, concern in his eyes.
She held up her hands in defense. “Sorry. Okay? She’s cute. You can’t blame me for trying.” And then she turned her eyes on me and made a telephone with her hand, mouthing, Call me.
“Your brother is waiting,” Jax hinted, jerking his chin behind her to where her brother had climbed back into his car.
I barely saw her smile and walk off. I barely saw Jax turn around and look at me. All I thought about was whether to like her for having the courage to live how she wanted or whether to hate her for being with Jax.
I didn’t like the image of her with him.
Jax stared at me, unmoving and waiting. “Cameron’s a friend, okay?” he explained gently. “An old friend.”
I hardened my jaw, the lump in my throat growing. “I see that.”
“K.C…. ,” he started, but I climbed back into the car before he could finish.
I didn’t want to lose it in front of him. Was I mad? Was I upset? Shit, I didn’t know. All I knew was what Cameron had said. Two girls. Two damn girls to wear him out. Which meant he did it regularly. How could I compete with that? What the hell did he want with someone like me?
I shook my head, going from sad to angry, and regaining my control just in time for him to climb back into the car.
“I’m tired,” I said right away, lying. “I need to go home.”
I stared out the window, but I still saw him. His grip so tight on the steering wheel that his tanned knuckles turned white. The long cord of his tensed arm. The lips closed tight, because I could hear him breathing through his nose.
But he slammed the door shut.
As he made his way back through town, the only sound we could hear was the water on the streets being kicked up under the tires. He’d silenced the radio, we weren’t talking … and I felt as if he’d switched off.
Everything had felt alive when he kissed me. His heart under my palm. His breath in my mouth. His hands roaming over my skin as if they were trying to memorize every inch of me.
Now he was a bullet. Going from point A to point B without hesitation.
Until his flat tone finally filled the car. “Come home with me.” It wasn’t a question, and I couldn’t hear a trace of emotion.
I turned to him, stunned. “Are you serious?” I asked. “I don’t think I’d be enough for you.”
“Don’t do that,” he shot back. “Don’t ruin what happened between us. You were fire in my hands, and I want you to remember it, K.C.”
I could feel his eyes on me as I clasped the strap of Tate’s messenger bag sitting on the floor.
“Clothed, naked, I don’t care … ” He trailed off, sounding almost sad. “As long as your lips are on me again.”
I shifted in the seat, trying to buy myself time. What I wanted and what I should do were two different things. I’d fought that battle with Liam, my mother, and hell, the list went on. It was true when I told Jax that I wanted to be a mess. But I didn’t want to get hurt.
“Thanks for the lesson,” I said. “And the ride. But I’m not like you, Jax. I don’t just ignore the rules and take what I want.”
“You don’t know me.” His tone turned defensive. “You know nothing about me.”
“And what do you know about me?” I threw back. “Other than you wanted me to spread my legs in high school? You want to have fun with me and nothing more, Jax. Find someone else.”
He jerked the steering wheel to the right, and I grabbed the door handle to keep from vaulting over to his side of the car as he sped up into his driveway.
My heart jumped into my throat, and I shot out my hand, grabbing the dash when he skidded to a quick halt in front of his garage.
“Jax!” I scolded.
He shut off the car, yanked the parking brake up, and turned to look at me, leaning his forearm on the steering wheel. “You think I don’t know you?” he challenged.
I pursed my lips. “Other than that I’m gutless and helpless, no.”
He shook his head. “You want to travel. To unusual and dangerous places. You hid a binder full of National Geographic pages in your locker in high school because you didn’t want your mom to see all the pictures you’d torn out to keep track of the places you wanted to visit.”
My jaw dropped slightly, and I widened my eyes. What?
He continued. “You didn’t eat lunch for an entire month senior year, because you saw Stu Levi not eating and found out his single mom was out of work and couldn’t afford to put money on his lunch card. So you put your own money on it. Anonymously.”
And then her blue eyes flashed to me and her eyebrows shot up.
“She’s hot.” She nodded her approval to Jax. “Call me later if you guys want company, okay?”
Huh?
“Excuse me?” I blurted out.
She hadn’t just offered … I ran my tongue over my dry lips, not sure I’d heard her right. Her lazy smile played with me, and it was very clear that she wanted to … yeah.
“Honey.” She laughed. “It usually takes two girls to wear this one out.” She pointed to Jax.
“Cameron, Jesus.” Jax ran a hand through this hair. “Use your filter. Please.” And then he turned to look at me, concern in his eyes.
She held up her hands in defense. “Sorry. Okay? She’s cute. You can’t blame me for trying.” And then she turned her eyes on me and made a telephone with her hand, mouthing, Call me.
“Your brother is waiting,” Jax hinted, jerking his chin behind her to where her brother had climbed back into his car.
I barely saw her smile and walk off. I barely saw Jax turn around and look at me. All I thought about was whether to like her for having the courage to live how she wanted or whether to hate her for being with Jax.
I didn’t like the image of her with him.
Jax stared at me, unmoving and waiting. “Cameron’s a friend, okay?” he explained gently. “An old friend.”
I hardened my jaw, the lump in my throat growing. “I see that.”
“K.C…. ,” he started, but I climbed back into the car before he could finish.
I didn’t want to lose it in front of him. Was I mad? Was I upset? Shit, I didn’t know. All I knew was what Cameron had said. Two girls. Two damn girls to wear him out. Which meant he did it regularly. How could I compete with that? What the hell did he want with someone like me?
I shook my head, going from sad to angry, and regaining my control just in time for him to climb back into the car.
“I’m tired,” I said right away, lying. “I need to go home.”
I stared out the window, but I still saw him. His grip so tight on the steering wheel that his tanned knuckles turned white. The long cord of his tensed arm. The lips closed tight, because I could hear him breathing through his nose.
But he slammed the door shut.
As he made his way back through town, the only sound we could hear was the water on the streets being kicked up under the tires. He’d silenced the radio, we weren’t talking … and I felt as if he’d switched off.
Everything had felt alive when he kissed me. His heart under my palm. His breath in my mouth. His hands roaming over my skin as if they were trying to memorize every inch of me.
Now he was a bullet. Going from point A to point B without hesitation.
Until his flat tone finally filled the car. “Come home with me.” It wasn’t a question, and I couldn’t hear a trace of emotion.
I turned to him, stunned. “Are you serious?” I asked. “I don’t think I’d be enough for you.”
“Don’t do that,” he shot back. “Don’t ruin what happened between us. You were fire in my hands, and I want you to remember it, K.C.”
I could feel his eyes on me as I clasped the strap of Tate’s messenger bag sitting on the floor.
“Clothed, naked, I don’t care … ” He trailed off, sounding almost sad. “As long as your lips are on me again.”
I shifted in the seat, trying to buy myself time. What I wanted and what I should do were two different things. I’d fought that battle with Liam, my mother, and hell, the list went on. It was true when I told Jax that I wanted to be a mess. But I didn’t want to get hurt.
“Thanks for the lesson,” I said. “And the ride. But I’m not like you, Jax. I don’t just ignore the rules and take what I want.”
“You don’t know me.” His tone turned defensive. “You know nothing about me.”
“And what do you know about me?” I threw back. “Other than you wanted me to spread my legs in high school? You want to have fun with me and nothing more, Jax. Find someone else.”
He jerked the steering wheel to the right, and I grabbed the door handle to keep from vaulting over to his side of the car as he sped up into his driveway.
My heart jumped into my throat, and I shot out my hand, grabbing the dash when he skidded to a quick halt in front of his garage.
“Jax!” I scolded.
He shut off the car, yanked the parking brake up, and turned to look at me, leaning his forearm on the steering wheel. “You think I don’t know you?” he challenged.
I pursed my lips. “Other than that I’m gutless and helpless, no.”
He shook his head. “You want to travel. To unusual and dangerous places. You hid a binder full of National Geographic pages in your locker in high school because you didn’t want your mom to see all the pictures you’d torn out to keep track of the places you wanted to visit.”
My jaw dropped slightly, and I widened my eyes. What?
He continued. “You didn’t eat lunch for an entire month senior year, because you saw Stu Levi not eating and found out his single mom was out of work and couldn’t afford to put money on his lunch card. So you put your own money on it. Anonymously.”
