Falling Away
Page 77
Jax would be everywhere.
I cried the night he dropped me off, several times the next day, and in the shower practically every morning. But no one saw it, and no one would.
I missed him, and everything ached, and …
I caught the tear at the corner of my eye and cleared my throat, typing faster. Financial information, references, names, addresses. Just go. Don’t stop. You. Will. Be. Fine.
Why wasn’t he home? Why wasn’t he at lacrosse practice this week? Why wasn’t he calling? And screw him! I punched the keys harder.
“I went to Madoc’s today,” Tate piped up, peering out the window, “to talk to Jax.”
I looked up, my fingers still planted on the keyboard. Madoc’s. So that was where he was.
She continued. “He’ll probably be here soon to welcome Jared home.”
I squeezed my eyes shut for a second and then quickly dropped my gaze back down to my computer screen.
They were all supposed to be going to dinner.
I’d been invited but had the good sense to decline, knowing Jax would probably be at the pizzeria.
“K.C.?” Tate pressed, sitting down next to me.
“Juliet?” I corrected her, mimicking her tone.
She laughed. “Sorry. Old habits die hard, I guess.”
She continued to sit there, staring at me, so I finally looked up. “I’m okay, Tate,” I assured her.
“If it’s any consolation, he looked miserable.”
I scrunched up my lips and looked back to the laptop. “I doubt that.” Jaxon Trent never looked bad. Freshly showered? He was gorgeous. Sweaty? He was sublime. Happy? Stunning. Angry? Brilliant. And when that man was dirty? Holy. Shit.
“He looks completely twisted up. He never loses control,” she ventured.
“Except with me,” I replied. “He’s always fighting with me.”
“Mm-hmm,” she agreed, a cocky hint to her tone.
I looked over at her suggestive eyes. “What?”
She held my gaze, and I watched as her eyes turned from playful to serious.
“He’s falling in love with you.” I could hear the emotion in her voice. “If he hasn’t already.”
I sat there, stunned by her words.
Falling in love?
I clenched my fists, my heartbeat drumming in my chest. No. He wouldn’t have pushed me away if that were true. He wouldn’t have stayed away. That was what had hurt more than anything these past few days. Jax didn’t care the way I did.
His words came back to me. “I just never thought the real thing would live up to the fantasy.”
I dropped my eyes, my head suddenly too damn heavy to hold up. Jesus.
Tate nearly whispered, “It’s impossible not to love them, isn’t it?” and my resolve cracked. I had to look away, taking deep breaths.
She was talking about the Trent brothers. Her Jared … and my Jaxon.
“I love you,” she said sweetly, probably seeing that I was in pain.
I nodded. “I know.” I looked over at her. “And I don’t know why. How come you’re so good to me?”
She narrowed her eyes, confused.
“Three years ago, I pretended to date your high school bully who is now your boyfriend so I could get even with Liam. For cheating. The first time.” I admitted the whole sordid mess. “Why didn’t you kick my ass?”
She offered a small smile. “Because you took Liam back,” she said. “I knew you were going to need a friend.” Tears sprang into my eyes, and I wanted to hug her.
As she got up, I followed her with my eyes, realizing how much I loved her and how much I wanted to deserve her.
“Tate?” I choked out. “I’m—”
“Oh, good God,” she said, cutting me off, staring wide-eyed out the window.
“What?”
She shook her head, a surprised grin on her face as she looked out the window. “You better come see this.”
I picked up the laptop, leaving it open as I carried it to stand beside her. Looking through the sheer curtains, I sucked in a breath, my arms shaking so bad that the laptop tumbled out of my grasp.
“Shit!” It shot out of my hands. I tried to clutch it as it bobbled against my weak arms and finally collapsed to the floor.
Tate covered her snort with her hand, and I breathed a mile a minute as I dived down to pick it up again.
“Damn it,” I yelled.
The battery pack had come out, and the screen had gone blank. I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw ached. “Damn him,” I growled, trying to fit the battery back in and glancing up out of the window repeatedly.
Jax stood next to his car, parked at the curb just behind Madoc’s GTO, and I kept scaling my eyes up and down his body, trying to take everything in.
Nothing had really changed and yet so much was different about him. Damn …
I licked my lips.
He wore straight-leg black pants. Not skinny but definitely slim, and my eyes widened when he turned around to talk to Madoc and Fallon. I knew what he looked like naked, even though I hadn’t had time to explore, but I hadn’t realized how much his baggy pants had covered up his form. Nice ass. He still wore clothes that fit his style—dark and low on flash—but they fit him better now. Almost too good. You could see how big he really was through his white V-neck T-shirt that draped just loosely enough to be comfortable but tight enough to show off his muscular shoulders, tight chest, and toned back. Hell, I could even see his shoulder blades.
I cried the night he dropped me off, several times the next day, and in the shower practically every morning. But no one saw it, and no one would.
I missed him, and everything ached, and …
I caught the tear at the corner of my eye and cleared my throat, typing faster. Financial information, references, names, addresses. Just go. Don’t stop. You. Will. Be. Fine.
Why wasn’t he home? Why wasn’t he at lacrosse practice this week? Why wasn’t he calling? And screw him! I punched the keys harder.
“I went to Madoc’s today,” Tate piped up, peering out the window, “to talk to Jax.”
I looked up, my fingers still planted on the keyboard. Madoc’s. So that was where he was.
She continued. “He’ll probably be here soon to welcome Jared home.”
I squeezed my eyes shut for a second and then quickly dropped my gaze back down to my computer screen.
They were all supposed to be going to dinner.
I’d been invited but had the good sense to decline, knowing Jax would probably be at the pizzeria.
“K.C.?” Tate pressed, sitting down next to me.
“Juliet?” I corrected her, mimicking her tone.
She laughed. “Sorry. Old habits die hard, I guess.”
She continued to sit there, staring at me, so I finally looked up. “I’m okay, Tate,” I assured her.
“If it’s any consolation, he looked miserable.”
I scrunched up my lips and looked back to the laptop. “I doubt that.” Jaxon Trent never looked bad. Freshly showered? He was gorgeous. Sweaty? He was sublime. Happy? Stunning. Angry? Brilliant. And when that man was dirty? Holy. Shit.
“He looks completely twisted up. He never loses control,” she ventured.
“Except with me,” I replied. “He’s always fighting with me.”
“Mm-hmm,” she agreed, a cocky hint to her tone.
I looked over at her suggestive eyes. “What?”
She held my gaze, and I watched as her eyes turned from playful to serious.
“He’s falling in love with you.” I could hear the emotion in her voice. “If he hasn’t already.”
I sat there, stunned by her words.
Falling in love?
I clenched my fists, my heartbeat drumming in my chest. No. He wouldn’t have pushed me away if that were true. He wouldn’t have stayed away. That was what had hurt more than anything these past few days. Jax didn’t care the way I did.
His words came back to me. “I just never thought the real thing would live up to the fantasy.”
I dropped my eyes, my head suddenly too damn heavy to hold up. Jesus.
Tate nearly whispered, “It’s impossible not to love them, isn’t it?” and my resolve cracked. I had to look away, taking deep breaths.
She was talking about the Trent brothers. Her Jared … and my Jaxon.
“I love you,” she said sweetly, probably seeing that I was in pain.
I nodded. “I know.” I looked over at her. “And I don’t know why. How come you’re so good to me?”
She narrowed her eyes, confused.
“Three years ago, I pretended to date your high school bully who is now your boyfriend so I could get even with Liam. For cheating. The first time.” I admitted the whole sordid mess. “Why didn’t you kick my ass?”
She offered a small smile. “Because you took Liam back,” she said. “I knew you were going to need a friend.” Tears sprang into my eyes, and I wanted to hug her.
As she got up, I followed her with my eyes, realizing how much I loved her and how much I wanted to deserve her.
“Tate?” I choked out. “I’m—”
“Oh, good God,” she said, cutting me off, staring wide-eyed out the window.
“What?”
She shook her head, a surprised grin on her face as she looked out the window. “You better come see this.”
I picked up the laptop, leaving it open as I carried it to stand beside her. Looking through the sheer curtains, I sucked in a breath, my arms shaking so bad that the laptop tumbled out of my grasp.
“Shit!” It shot out of my hands. I tried to clutch it as it bobbled against my weak arms and finally collapsed to the floor.
Tate covered her snort with her hand, and I breathed a mile a minute as I dived down to pick it up again.
“Damn it,” I yelled.
The battery pack had come out, and the screen had gone blank. I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw ached. “Damn him,” I growled, trying to fit the battery back in and glancing up out of the window repeatedly.
Jax stood next to his car, parked at the curb just behind Madoc’s GTO, and I kept scaling my eyes up and down his body, trying to take everything in.
Nothing had really changed and yet so much was different about him. Damn …
I licked my lips.
He wore straight-leg black pants. Not skinny but definitely slim, and my eyes widened when he turned around to talk to Madoc and Fallon. I knew what he looked like naked, even though I hadn’t had time to explore, but I hadn’t realized how much his baggy pants had covered up his form. Nice ass. He still wore clothes that fit his style—dark and low on flash—but they fit him better now. Almost too good. You could see how big he really was through his white V-neck T-shirt that draped just loosely enough to be comfortable but tight enough to show off his muscular shoulders, tight chest, and toned back. Hell, I could even see his shoulder blades.
