Falling Away
Page 89
Reaching up, I press my hand against the lid and push harder and harder, the muscles in my arm stretching and aching as I hunch over and cough. It hurts to breathe, my ears sting like a million needles, and I’m shaking with the frozen air on my skin.
“Please,” I cry. “Please!”
Two thuds pound on the lid, and I try to open my eyes to see if they’ve opened it. “Dad?” I quaver.
But my eyes open, and the freezer is still black. No light.
I shake my head, my long hair coated with frost. “Please, please, please!” I scream, my throat hoarse from the roar.
“Please!” I scream, clasping my hands over my frigid ears. Burning, aching, air …
“Please!” I shout again. “Jared! Jared, please!”
My body shakes with the cry, the wail coming from much deeper than my stomach. It’s sick, like an animal’s. “Please!”
I thrash, throwing my arms against the walls of the freezer, slamming and jabbing my fists again and again and again. “Let me out!” I roar, pounding the walls left, right, left, right, again, and again. “Let me out!”
Light brightens the inside of my cage, and I clench my fists and grit my teeth. Down, down, down, the rage sinks back down my throat, swirling in my stomach.
I look up, eyes burning with fury.
My father’s girlfriend and his friend peer down at me, smiling at what they, no doubt, have planned.
Sherilynn reaches down and caresses my hair, and I let her. Strangely, it doesn’t scare me. She doesn’t scare me.
Why don’t they scare me?
Gordon licks his lips. “Basement, Jax,” he orders.
I nod.
I know what’s going to happen. As if there’s no other choice.
It felt like that at the time. There was no choice. No other way for me to survive. It was as if a curtain had fallen in my brain, signaling that the show was now over. I didn’t descend those stairs to the basement knowing what would happen. I simply knew what I wasn’t going to let happen.
With every muscle in my body, I knew it would never happen again.
I looked over at Juliet, making no sound as she slept beside me. The room was black, but with the glow of the alarm clock, I could make out her form. Legs curled and lying to one side. Back flat on the mattress with her head facing me. Her arms bent at the elbows and hands resting on her stomach.
And my heart firmly lodged in my throat.
I let out a sigh and ran my hands through my hair. Why had I chased her?
I knew it was going to be like this, after all. I knew once I got under her attitude, I would find someone who was my match and drove me crazy. I’d cut my hair, stepped foot in an Abercrombie & Fitch, and made love for the first time. All in one day.
She was breaking my routine. The routine that kept me safe.
I swallowed, looking over at her sweet, peaceful form again. There was simply no choice. I had to have her.
Leaning over, I ran my fingers down her hair, kissed her forehead, her nose, and then her lips.
My dick jerked, but I ignored it. We’d gone through four condoms already. She was the first thing I was going to want in the morning, so I let her rest.
I got out of bed, dug some black lounge pants out of the dresser, and slipped them on, before grabbing my spare keys off the dresser.
Leaving the room as quietly as possible, I unlocked my office door and tossed the keys on the worktable, rounding the room as I switched on all the monitors. I tipped my head left and then right, cracking the tension out of my neck.
I was behind.
E-mails were backed up, people wanting to sponsor operations at the Loop, not to mention communications about lacrosse, and favors I’d guaranteed to this person and that for shit I didn’t feel I had time to do now.
Things I did have time to do until recently.
I plopped my ass down in the chair, watching light slowly hit all the surfaces of the room as the monitors sparked to life.
And all of a sudden, I wasn’t interested in any of it. I sat back, running my finger over my lips, trying to work up the gumption to get back to business. To get caught up. But all I kept thinking about was Juliet, curled up in my sheets, always warm for me, and I let my head fall back as I nudged my cock back down.
“Shit,” I breathed out, my heart jacking up again as I stared at the ceiling.
I wanted to go to her, but I had things to do.
“Jax?”
I jerked up, seeing Juliet standing in the doorway.
A smile played at the corner of my lips. She looked like a damn meal.
Her hair was knotted up, falling in her face and down her shoulders. Her naked body looked smooth and tan. And her face was sleepy, eyes barely open. Completely fuckable.
“I’m here.” I held out my hand, and she started walking in as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
“Sorry.” She yawned. “I just didn’t know where you were. You have work to do?” she mumbled.
“Yeah.” But I took her by the waist and guided her legs around me, bringing her down to straddle me.
Her head immediately fell to my shoulder—she had to be exhausted and still half-asleep.
Her arms circled my neck, and I smiled at her peaceful little moan.
“Didn’t mean to disturb you,” she mumbled sweetly into my neck. “Your cell phone was ringing in the bedroom.”
I ran my hands down her side, the taste of her skin already in my mouth as I breathed her in. “Oh, yeah,” I responded, not giving a shit about my phone.
Her head nudged mine as she nodded sleepily. My hands drifted down to her smooth bottom, and I closed my eyes, feeling her slowly start to grind on my cock.
“Please,” I cry. “Please!”
Two thuds pound on the lid, and I try to open my eyes to see if they’ve opened it. “Dad?” I quaver.
But my eyes open, and the freezer is still black. No light.
I shake my head, my long hair coated with frost. “Please, please, please!” I scream, my throat hoarse from the roar.
“Please!” I scream, clasping my hands over my frigid ears. Burning, aching, air …
“Please!” I shout again. “Jared! Jared, please!”
My body shakes with the cry, the wail coming from much deeper than my stomach. It’s sick, like an animal’s. “Please!”
I thrash, throwing my arms against the walls of the freezer, slamming and jabbing my fists again and again and again. “Let me out!” I roar, pounding the walls left, right, left, right, again, and again. “Let me out!”
Light brightens the inside of my cage, and I clench my fists and grit my teeth. Down, down, down, the rage sinks back down my throat, swirling in my stomach.
I look up, eyes burning with fury.
My father’s girlfriend and his friend peer down at me, smiling at what they, no doubt, have planned.
Sherilynn reaches down and caresses my hair, and I let her. Strangely, it doesn’t scare me. She doesn’t scare me.
Why don’t they scare me?
Gordon licks his lips. “Basement, Jax,” he orders.
I nod.
I know what’s going to happen. As if there’s no other choice.
It felt like that at the time. There was no choice. No other way for me to survive. It was as if a curtain had fallen in my brain, signaling that the show was now over. I didn’t descend those stairs to the basement knowing what would happen. I simply knew what I wasn’t going to let happen.
With every muscle in my body, I knew it would never happen again.
I looked over at Juliet, making no sound as she slept beside me. The room was black, but with the glow of the alarm clock, I could make out her form. Legs curled and lying to one side. Back flat on the mattress with her head facing me. Her arms bent at the elbows and hands resting on her stomach.
And my heart firmly lodged in my throat.
I let out a sigh and ran my hands through my hair. Why had I chased her?
I knew it was going to be like this, after all. I knew once I got under her attitude, I would find someone who was my match and drove me crazy. I’d cut my hair, stepped foot in an Abercrombie & Fitch, and made love for the first time. All in one day.
She was breaking my routine. The routine that kept me safe.
I swallowed, looking over at her sweet, peaceful form again. There was simply no choice. I had to have her.
Leaning over, I ran my fingers down her hair, kissed her forehead, her nose, and then her lips.
My dick jerked, but I ignored it. We’d gone through four condoms already. She was the first thing I was going to want in the morning, so I let her rest.
I got out of bed, dug some black lounge pants out of the dresser, and slipped them on, before grabbing my spare keys off the dresser.
Leaving the room as quietly as possible, I unlocked my office door and tossed the keys on the worktable, rounding the room as I switched on all the monitors. I tipped my head left and then right, cracking the tension out of my neck.
I was behind.
E-mails were backed up, people wanting to sponsor operations at the Loop, not to mention communications about lacrosse, and favors I’d guaranteed to this person and that for shit I didn’t feel I had time to do now.
Things I did have time to do until recently.
I plopped my ass down in the chair, watching light slowly hit all the surfaces of the room as the monitors sparked to life.
And all of a sudden, I wasn’t interested in any of it. I sat back, running my finger over my lips, trying to work up the gumption to get back to business. To get caught up. But all I kept thinking about was Juliet, curled up in my sheets, always warm for me, and I let my head fall back as I nudged my cock back down.
“Shit,” I breathed out, my heart jacking up again as I stared at the ceiling.
I wanted to go to her, but I had things to do.
“Jax?”
I jerked up, seeing Juliet standing in the doorway.
A smile played at the corner of my lips. She looked like a damn meal.
Her hair was knotted up, falling in her face and down her shoulders. Her naked body looked smooth and tan. And her face was sleepy, eyes barely open. Completely fuckable.
“I’m here.” I held out my hand, and she started walking in as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
“Sorry.” She yawned. “I just didn’t know where you were. You have work to do?” she mumbled.
“Yeah.” But I took her by the waist and guided her legs around me, bringing her down to straddle me.
Her head immediately fell to my shoulder—she had to be exhausted and still half-asleep.
Her arms circled my neck, and I smiled at her peaceful little moan.
“Didn’t mean to disturb you,” she mumbled sweetly into my neck. “Your cell phone was ringing in the bedroom.”
I ran my hands down her side, the taste of her skin already in my mouth as I breathed her in. “Oh, yeah,” I responded, not giving a shit about my phone.
Her head nudged mine as she nodded sleepily. My hands drifted down to her smooth bottom, and I closed my eyes, feeling her slowly start to grind on my cock.
