Falling for Jillian
Page 23
“I don’t think I was ready for you yet,” she admits. “And there’s more. It’s a long story, but the gist of it is, my ex-husband was a cheating bastard. He couldn’t keep it in his pants, and I realize now that that wasn’t my fault. But one thing you should know is . . .”
She pauses and bites her lip and then glances over at me with scared eyes.
“What?”
“I can’t ever have babies, Zack. I can’t get pregnant. We tried for years, worked with doctors, and it’s just not ever going to happen.”
The grief in her voice is my undoing. I pull her into my arms and kiss her head. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
“I’m healthy,” she confirms. “There’s no medical reason for it, it just is. So if you want to run, now might be the right time to do it.”
“Stop.” I pull back to look her in the eye. “We are going to take this one day at a time, sugar. See where it goes. I haven’t really given having more kids much thought. Seth is awesome, and a handful. I just want to enjoy you, continue spending time with you.” I lean in to whisper in her ear. “Be inside you as often as humanly possible.”
She giggles and kisses my cheek.
“We’ll figure the rest out.”
“Okay.”
“Now, lie back and watch this amazing show I arranged just for you.”
“This is pretty impressive,” she agrees and snuggles up to my side to watch the sky. We lie in silence for a long while until something suddenly occurs to me.
“Wait. Does this mean we don’t need condoms?”
She shrugs nonchalantly and grins. “Maybe.”
I cover her body with mine and bury my fingers in her spectacular hair. “Maybe what?”
Her eyes narrow and she suddenly looks uncertain.
“Until our amazing night this summer”—I kiss her lips—“I hadn’t been with a woman in close to four years. I didn’t cheat on my wife, Jill. I’ve had plenty of workups while in the army and I’m as healthy as can be.”
“I had myself checked too, especially after I found out Todd had been . . .” She can’t finish the sentence and I smooth my hand down her cheek.
“So, we don’t need them?” I ask hopefully.
“I guess not.”
I jump up to my feet and tug her up with me, roll the blankets up into a ball, and pull her behind me to the house.
“Hey! What about the big, amazing Montana winter sky?”
“Fuck the sky. I get to sink into you without a barrier between us, and I’m not waiting another minute.”
“Thank God.”
CHAPTER Seven
JILLIAN
“Dad! I’m home!” Seth stomps through the house, greeted by a very excited Thor. “Hey, buddy! Where’s Dad?”
“Hey, Seth.” It’s Sunday morning and Zack and I are in the game room, me working some more on my phone, which makes me crazy—I wish I’d brought my computer—and Zack reading on his iPad. “You’re home early.”
“Josiah’s dad said the roads were good enough, so he brought me home. Why is Jill’s car here?” He spies me sitting on the couch and he smiles shyly. “Hi, Jill.”
“Hi,” I reply with a smile, wondering how Zack is going to explain this. We had agreed that I’d leave before Seth returned home.
“Jill was out here yesterday to see Cara and she got stuck here because of the weather, just like you got stuck in town. She’s waiting for the roads to clear up.”
“Oh.” He shrugs and pets his dog. “What are we gonna do today?”
“Good question.” Zack grins over at me. “Can you stay for the afternoon?”
“If you would both like me to,” I reply carefully. “What do you have in mind?”
“It’s warm enough to take the snowmobiles out,” Zack suggests.
“Woo-hoo!” Seth exclaims and thrusts his fist in the air. “Can I drive?”
“You can drive in the field, where there are no fences or animals,” Zack says with a smile. “What do you say?”
Both of them stare at me hopefully. Even Thor looks hopeful with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. They’re so handsome, how can I refuse them?
“Come on, Jill,” Seth says while bouncing on his toes. “It’s so fun! You can ride with me. I’ll keep you safe.”
Zack’s gaze swings down at his son and then back to me with pride. I wink at him and then shrug. “Well, how can I resist that offer? Sounds like fun.”
“Go put your stuff in your room, Seth, and then we’ll go.”
Seth takes off like a shot up the stairs to his room, his dog running with him.
“You don’t have to take me along,” I say quietly. “I can just go on home and you can spend the afternoon with Seth.”
I push my phone in my pocket, and then Zack steps to me and tugs me to my feet and into his arms for a big hug.
“I want you to come with us. It’ll be fun.”
I lower my voice to a whisper as I hear Seth clomp down the hallway upstairs. “Do you really think you’re ready for me to start hanging out with your kid?”
“My kid already knows you, Jillian.” He kisses my forehead and then steps away as Seth runs back into the room, dressed in snow pants and jacket.
He stops on a dime and looks back and forth between us with narrowed eyes. Just when I’m sure he’s going to ask what’s going on, he says, “Can we go now?”
She pauses and bites her lip and then glances over at me with scared eyes.
“What?”
“I can’t ever have babies, Zack. I can’t get pregnant. We tried for years, worked with doctors, and it’s just not ever going to happen.”
The grief in her voice is my undoing. I pull her into my arms and kiss her head. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
“I’m healthy,” she confirms. “There’s no medical reason for it, it just is. So if you want to run, now might be the right time to do it.”
“Stop.” I pull back to look her in the eye. “We are going to take this one day at a time, sugar. See where it goes. I haven’t really given having more kids much thought. Seth is awesome, and a handful. I just want to enjoy you, continue spending time with you.” I lean in to whisper in her ear. “Be inside you as often as humanly possible.”
She giggles and kisses my cheek.
“We’ll figure the rest out.”
“Okay.”
“Now, lie back and watch this amazing show I arranged just for you.”
“This is pretty impressive,” she agrees and snuggles up to my side to watch the sky. We lie in silence for a long while until something suddenly occurs to me.
“Wait. Does this mean we don’t need condoms?”
She shrugs nonchalantly and grins. “Maybe.”
I cover her body with mine and bury my fingers in her spectacular hair. “Maybe what?”
Her eyes narrow and she suddenly looks uncertain.
“Until our amazing night this summer”—I kiss her lips—“I hadn’t been with a woman in close to four years. I didn’t cheat on my wife, Jill. I’ve had plenty of workups while in the army and I’m as healthy as can be.”
“I had myself checked too, especially after I found out Todd had been . . .” She can’t finish the sentence and I smooth my hand down her cheek.
“So, we don’t need them?” I ask hopefully.
“I guess not.”
I jump up to my feet and tug her up with me, roll the blankets up into a ball, and pull her behind me to the house.
“Hey! What about the big, amazing Montana winter sky?”
“Fuck the sky. I get to sink into you without a barrier between us, and I’m not waiting another minute.”
“Thank God.”
CHAPTER Seven
JILLIAN
“Dad! I’m home!” Seth stomps through the house, greeted by a very excited Thor. “Hey, buddy! Where’s Dad?”
“Hey, Seth.” It’s Sunday morning and Zack and I are in the game room, me working some more on my phone, which makes me crazy—I wish I’d brought my computer—and Zack reading on his iPad. “You’re home early.”
“Josiah’s dad said the roads were good enough, so he brought me home. Why is Jill’s car here?” He spies me sitting on the couch and he smiles shyly. “Hi, Jill.”
“Hi,” I reply with a smile, wondering how Zack is going to explain this. We had agreed that I’d leave before Seth returned home.
“Jill was out here yesterday to see Cara and she got stuck here because of the weather, just like you got stuck in town. She’s waiting for the roads to clear up.”
“Oh.” He shrugs and pets his dog. “What are we gonna do today?”
“Good question.” Zack grins over at me. “Can you stay for the afternoon?”
“If you would both like me to,” I reply carefully. “What do you have in mind?”
“It’s warm enough to take the snowmobiles out,” Zack suggests.
“Woo-hoo!” Seth exclaims and thrusts his fist in the air. “Can I drive?”
“You can drive in the field, where there are no fences or animals,” Zack says with a smile. “What do you say?”
Both of them stare at me hopefully. Even Thor looks hopeful with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. They’re so handsome, how can I refuse them?
“Come on, Jill,” Seth says while bouncing on his toes. “It’s so fun! You can ride with me. I’ll keep you safe.”
Zack’s gaze swings down at his son and then back to me with pride. I wink at him and then shrug. “Well, how can I resist that offer? Sounds like fun.”
“Go put your stuff in your room, Seth, and then we’ll go.”
Seth takes off like a shot up the stairs to his room, his dog running with him.
“You don’t have to take me along,” I say quietly. “I can just go on home and you can spend the afternoon with Seth.”
I push my phone in my pocket, and then Zack steps to me and tugs me to my feet and into his arms for a big hug.
“I want you to come with us. It’ll be fun.”
I lower my voice to a whisper as I hear Seth clomp down the hallway upstairs. “Do you really think you’re ready for me to start hanging out with your kid?”
“My kid already knows you, Jillian.” He kisses my forehead and then steps away as Seth runs back into the room, dressed in snow pants and jacket.
He stops on a dime and looks back and forth between us with narrowed eyes. Just when I’m sure he’s going to ask what’s going on, he says, “Can we go now?”
