Falling for Jillian
Page 59
“So, um,” I wring my hands and am suddenly so damn nervous that cold sweat is back. “I have some news that might help your mood.”
“More celebrating?” he asks.
“I think so.” I nod and bite my lip, watching his face. He frowns and tilts his head.
“What’s up?”
“I’m pregnant.”
He blinks at me for a moment and his body stills. “Excuse me?”
“We’re going to have a baby.”
He swallows and I smile and continue quickly, not able to contain my excitement any longer. “I thought my cycles were just off again, so I made an appointment with Hannah, and it turns out that I’m freaking pregnant! I was so shocked! After all those years of trying so hard to have a baby and it not working, I assumed I was infertile, but well, apparently not.”
His eyes are trained on the floor, and he hasn’t hugged me yet. He must be in as much shock as I was in an hour ago.
“I thought this wasn’t possible?” His voice is low. I step to him happily and wrap my arms around him.
“I know it’s a shock. But isn’t it great? I mean, a baby!”
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t hug me back.
“Oh my God! Lo and I will have babies around the same time. That’s so cool!”
Suddenly his hands clench around my shoulders and he sets me away from him, then backs away, not touching me at all. When I look up into his face, he’s gone completely pale and his eyes are just . . . pissed.
“So, let me get this straight.” He rubs his fingers over his lips. His whole body is tight with anger.
Oh no.
“When you told me you couldn’t have kids, that was a lie.”
“No.” I shake my head adamantly. “Zack, I tried for years to get pregnant and it didn’t work. I was told that I had unexplained infertility.”
“Unexplained infertility,” he repeats. His voice is hard and angry and deceptively calm.
“It means that they didn’t know why I couldn’t get pregnant, but I just couldn’t.”
He’s shaking his head, and I can see that none of my words are sinking in at all.
“You lied. So, what? Your biological clock was ticking away so you thought you’d try your hand with me?” He laughs without humor and backs further away from me. “I’m an easy mark, right?”
“I’m twenty-nine! My biological clock isn’t running out! I thought it was nonexistent!”
“I’m so fucking stupid,” he mutters and scrubs his hands over his face. “I bought it. I believed you.”
“Zack . . .” What in the fuck is happening? Who is this man?
“I fucking fell in love with you!” He rages and digs his fingers into his hair, paces around the kitchen, and then comes to a stop in front of me. I can’t move. I feel tears fall down my cheeks, but I’m numb. “Oh, that’s right. Turn on the tears.” He looks like he’s about to say more, but he shakes his head and exhales deeply, as if he’s completely hurt and exhausted. “You know what? I didn’t sign on for this.”
He stomps through the kitchen to the living room and I follow him numbly.
“You’re leaving? Without talking this through?”
I wrap my arms around myself and hold on tight. I blink the tears from my eyes and clear my face because I’ll be fucking damned if I’ll give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
He doesn’t answer me or even look back at me as he shakes his head and leaves, slamming the door behind him, and I’m suddenly standing in my silent house alone.
What just happened?
I sink into the floor and look around with blind eyes. Did the man I love just reject me because I’m pregnant with his child?
The timer on the oven beeps, but I don’t move. I can’t get up off the floor. I hurt everywhere.
I don’t know how long I stay here on the floor. I can smell dinner burning in the oven, and I know I need to get up and turn it off, but part of me just doesn’t care. I’m not crying. I’m just . . . here.
Suddenly, my front door opens and Ty rushes in, chest heaving, eyes worried. Lo follows him, and while she makes a run for the kitchen, Ty kneels next to me and takes my face in his hands.
“Jilly? What’s going on? Are you hurt?”
I just stare at him. I frown and look up at the ceiling.
“Why is there smoke?” I whisper.
“Your smoke alarms are going off, Jill. What the fuck is going on?”
Lauren is suddenly at his side. “There was something in the oven. It’s off now, and I’m opening all the windows and doors to air it out.”
“No, you stay here and I’ll do that. Call for an ambulance.”
“No,” I say loudly. “I don’t need an ambulance.”
Ty and Lo exchange a worried glance just before he hurries through the house to open windows and doors, then comes back with two thick blankets.
“Here, sweetness, wrap up. It’s about to get cold in here.”
“Should we just take her home?” Lo asks and wraps the blanket around herself.
“Let’s give it ten minutes to air out, and then yes, we’ll take her with us.”
“I’m right here,” I whisper as Ty wraps me in the blanket. “I can hear you.”
“You’re on the fucking floor, catatonic, princess.” He lifts me into his arms and sits on the couch with me in his lap. “The last time I found you like this . . .”
“More celebrating?” he asks.
“I think so.” I nod and bite my lip, watching his face. He frowns and tilts his head.
“What’s up?”
“I’m pregnant.”
He blinks at me for a moment and his body stills. “Excuse me?”
“We’re going to have a baby.”
He swallows and I smile and continue quickly, not able to contain my excitement any longer. “I thought my cycles were just off again, so I made an appointment with Hannah, and it turns out that I’m freaking pregnant! I was so shocked! After all those years of trying so hard to have a baby and it not working, I assumed I was infertile, but well, apparently not.”
His eyes are trained on the floor, and he hasn’t hugged me yet. He must be in as much shock as I was in an hour ago.
“I thought this wasn’t possible?” His voice is low. I step to him happily and wrap my arms around him.
“I know it’s a shock. But isn’t it great? I mean, a baby!”
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t hug me back.
“Oh my God! Lo and I will have babies around the same time. That’s so cool!”
Suddenly his hands clench around my shoulders and he sets me away from him, then backs away, not touching me at all. When I look up into his face, he’s gone completely pale and his eyes are just . . . pissed.
“So, let me get this straight.” He rubs his fingers over his lips. His whole body is tight with anger.
Oh no.
“When you told me you couldn’t have kids, that was a lie.”
“No.” I shake my head adamantly. “Zack, I tried for years to get pregnant and it didn’t work. I was told that I had unexplained infertility.”
“Unexplained infertility,” he repeats. His voice is hard and angry and deceptively calm.
“It means that they didn’t know why I couldn’t get pregnant, but I just couldn’t.”
He’s shaking his head, and I can see that none of my words are sinking in at all.
“You lied. So, what? Your biological clock was ticking away so you thought you’d try your hand with me?” He laughs without humor and backs further away from me. “I’m an easy mark, right?”
“I’m twenty-nine! My biological clock isn’t running out! I thought it was nonexistent!”
“I’m so fucking stupid,” he mutters and scrubs his hands over his face. “I bought it. I believed you.”
“Zack . . .” What in the fuck is happening? Who is this man?
“I fucking fell in love with you!” He rages and digs his fingers into his hair, paces around the kitchen, and then comes to a stop in front of me. I can’t move. I feel tears fall down my cheeks, but I’m numb. “Oh, that’s right. Turn on the tears.” He looks like he’s about to say more, but he shakes his head and exhales deeply, as if he’s completely hurt and exhausted. “You know what? I didn’t sign on for this.”
He stomps through the kitchen to the living room and I follow him numbly.
“You’re leaving? Without talking this through?”
I wrap my arms around myself and hold on tight. I blink the tears from my eyes and clear my face because I’ll be fucking damned if I’ll give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
He doesn’t answer me or even look back at me as he shakes his head and leaves, slamming the door behind him, and I’m suddenly standing in my silent house alone.
What just happened?
I sink into the floor and look around with blind eyes. Did the man I love just reject me because I’m pregnant with his child?
The timer on the oven beeps, but I don’t move. I can’t get up off the floor. I hurt everywhere.
I don’t know how long I stay here on the floor. I can smell dinner burning in the oven, and I know I need to get up and turn it off, but part of me just doesn’t care. I’m not crying. I’m just . . . here.
Suddenly, my front door opens and Ty rushes in, chest heaving, eyes worried. Lo follows him, and while she makes a run for the kitchen, Ty kneels next to me and takes my face in his hands.
“Jilly? What’s going on? Are you hurt?”
I just stare at him. I frown and look up at the ceiling.
“Why is there smoke?” I whisper.
“Your smoke alarms are going off, Jill. What the fuck is going on?”
Lauren is suddenly at his side. “There was something in the oven. It’s off now, and I’m opening all the windows and doors to air it out.”
“No, you stay here and I’ll do that. Call for an ambulance.”
“No,” I say loudly. “I don’t need an ambulance.”
Ty and Lo exchange a worried glance just before he hurries through the house to open windows and doors, then comes back with two thick blankets.
“Here, sweetness, wrap up. It’s about to get cold in here.”
“Should we just take her home?” Lo asks and wraps the blanket around herself.
“Let’s give it ten minutes to air out, and then yes, we’ll take her with us.”
“I’m right here,” I whisper as Ty wraps me in the blanket. “I can hear you.”
“You’re on the fucking floor, catatonic, princess.” He lifts me into his arms and sits on the couch with me in his lap. “The last time I found you like this . . .”
