Falling for Jillian
Page 64
“You have to understand—” I try again.
“I understand,” she interrupts. “I get it, Zack. I’m not a moron. After the initial shock wore off and I could think clearly, I understood your reaction.”
I sigh in relief, but before I can say anything, she continues.
“But it doesn’t excuse you. I understand you, but I can’t trust you. I’ll survive without you.”
“Life is about so much more than surviving, sugar.”
“Oh really?” She laughs humorlessly. “Those are your words of wisdom right now?”
“I fucking love you, Jill. Tell me what to do to make this right and I’ll do it.”
“There is no making it right. Love never really lasts, Zack. It’s just one big fucking disappointment. I won’t invite you back into my life, love you and your boy, and then wait for the day to come that I have to watch you decide to leave me like I’m nothing.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I insist. I take a step toward her, but she holds her hands up again, stopping me. “God damn it, let me hold you!”
“No.” She shakes her head and wipes a tear from her cheek.
“Jesus, Jilly,” I begin but she shakes her head and walks away.
“Just leave, Zack.”
“No. We can work this out.”
“There’s nothing to work out right now. I want you to go. I don’t want to see you.”
“Fine.” I back toward the door. “I’ll give you time, but Jill, you’re mine. Baby or no baby.”
She firms her lips and glares at me.
“Those are the words I needed yesterday, Zack.”
“I’m giving them to you now, and by God, I’ll prove it.” I walk out of her house, shutting the door quietly behind me, and jog to my truck as the plan begins to form in my head. Twenty minutes later, when I pull up to my house, I rush inside.
“Seth?”
“In here,” he calls from the family room, where the Christmas tree is still standing, playing his video game. He sets the controller aside as I walk into the room. “Well? Did you fix it?”
“We’re going to fix it, but I need your help, buddy.”
He eyes me for a long moment, then shrugs. “Okay.”
CHAPTER Eighteen
JILLIAN
“How are you feeling?” Cara asks and joins me on her couch. I can’t believe I’m at the ranch. But I refuse to tiptoe around, afraid of running into Zack.
“Fine. A little woozy now and then, but it’s not too bad.”
“Josh said Zack’s been a mess this week.”
I shrug and sip the decaffeinated tea Cara brewed for me. “It’s been a helluva week.”
“What’s been going on? The last I heard from you, Zack showed up at your place New Year’s Eve and you put him in his place and kicked his ass out.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t talked with you much,” I murmur softly. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything. And I don’t want to put you in the middle, since he’s your brother-in-law.”
“What’s been happening?”
“Well, Zack wasn’t lying when he said he’d prove to me that he’s in it for the long haul. It started with flowers being delivered the next day.”
“Such a man move,” Cara says and rolls her eyes. “Of course, it’s a man move because it works.”
“They were pretty.” I don’t mention that I spent an hour crying and sniffing over them, missing Zack like crazy. “Then on Tuesday, he had lunch delivered to my office from the diner.”
“That’s your favorite place,” she replies with a raised brow.
“I know, and he didn’t just have it sent for me, but for the whole office. Then on Wednesday, Seth showed up after school to shovel my driveway.”
“Aww,” she replies and her face goes all gooey. “That’s sweet.”
“I know,” I admit and sip my tea. “So of course I invited him inside for cookies and to chat. But you know, he never said anything about his dad, or getting back together with him. He just acted like everything was normal. And he came all week.”
“We got a lot of snow last week,” Cara says. “Who picked Seth up?”
“Zack. But he didn’t come to the door, he just honked from the driveway.”
“Why didn’t he come inside?”
I bite my lip and look down at my mug. “Because I told him I didn’t want to see him.”
Cara nods thoughtfully. “Is that all that’s happened?”
“No, yesterday I got a package in the mail.”
“What was it?”
I grab my handbag and pull the heavy book out of it. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”
Cara giggles and takes it out of my hands to flip through. “This is kind of sweet.”
“I know.” I sigh and push my fingers through my hair. “He’s softening me up a bit, but Cara, he was an asshole.”
She nods and continues to flip through the book. “Ew. Don’t look at page 328. It’s scary.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
“So, you just fell out of love with him? Just like that?”
“Don’t be stupid, Cara.” I glare at my friend and then feel tears threaten when she raises her sober gaze to mine. “I miss him.”
“I understand,” she interrupts. “I get it, Zack. I’m not a moron. After the initial shock wore off and I could think clearly, I understood your reaction.”
I sigh in relief, but before I can say anything, she continues.
“But it doesn’t excuse you. I understand you, but I can’t trust you. I’ll survive without you.”
“Life is about so much more than surviving, sugar.”
“Oh really?” She laughs humorlessly. “Those are your words of wisdom right now?”
“I fucking love you, Jill. Tell me what to do to make this right and I’ll do it.”
“There is no making it right. Love never really lasts, Zack. It’s just one big fucking disappointment. I won’t invite you back into my life, love you and your boy, and then wait for the day to come that I have to watch you decide to leave me like I’m nothing.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I insist. I take a step toward her, but she holds her hands up again, stopping me. “God damn it, let me hold you!”
“No.” She shakes her head and wipes a tear from her cheek.
“Jesus, Jilly,” I begin but she shakes her head and walks away.
“Just leave, Zack.”
“No. We can work this out.”
“There’s nothing to work out right now. I want you to go. I don’t want to see you.”
“Fine.” I back toward the door. “I’ll give you time, but Jill, you’re mine. Baby or no baby.”
She firms her lips and glares at me.
“Those are the words I needed yesterday, Zack.”
“I’m giving them to you now, and by God, I’ll prove it.” I walk out of her house, shutting the door quietly behind me, and jog to my truck as the plan begins to form in my head. Twenty minutes later, when I pull up to my house, I rush inside.
“Seth?”
“In here,” he calls from the family room, where the Christmas tree is still standing, playing his video game. He sets the controller aside as I walk into the room. “Well? Did you fix it?”
“We’re going to fix it, but I need your help, buddy.”
He eyes me for a long moment, then shrugs. “Okay.”
CHAPTER Eighteen
JILLIAN
“How are you feeling?” Cara asks and joins me on her couch. I can’t believe I’m at the ranch. But I refuse to tiptoe around, afraid of running into Zack.
“Fine. A little woozy now and then, but it’s not too bad.”
“Josh said Zack’s been a mess this week.”
I shrug and sip the decaffeinated tea Cara brewed for me. “It’s been a helluva week.”
“What’s been going on? The last I heard from you, Zack showed up at your place New Year’s Eve and you put him in his place and kicked his ass out.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t talked with you much,” I murmur softly. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything. And I don’t want to put you in the middle, since he’s your brother-in-law.”
“What’s been happening?”
“Well, Zack wasn’t lying when he said he’d prove to me that he’s in it for the long haul. It started with flowers being delivered the next day.”
“Such a man move,” Cara says and rolls her eyes. “Of course, it’s a man move because it works.”
“They were pretty.” I don’t mention that I spent an hour crying and sniffing over them, missing Zack like crazy. “Then on Tuesday, he had lunch delivered to my office from the diner.”
“That’s your favorite place,” she replies with a raised brow.
“I know, and he didn’t just have it sent for me, but for the whole office. Then on Wednesday, Seth showed up after school to shovel my driveway.”
“Aww,” she replies and her face goes all gooey. “That’s sweet.”
“I know,” I admit and sip my tea. “So of course I invited him inside for cookies and to chat. But you know, he never said anything about his dad, or getting back together with him. He just acted like everything was normal. And he came all week.”
“We got a lot of snow last week,” Cara says. “Who picked Seth up?”
“Zack. But he didn’t come to the door, he just honked from the driveway.”
“Why didn’t he come inside?”
I bite my lip and look down at my mug. “Because I told him I didn’t want to see him.”
Cara nods thoughtfully. “Is that all that’s happened?”
“No, yesterday I got a package in the mail.”
“What was it?”
I grab my handbag and pull the heavy book out of it. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”
Cara giggles and takes it out of my hands to flip through. “This is kind of sweet.”
“I know.” I sigh and push my fingers through my hair. “He’s softening me up a bit, but Cara, he was an asshole.”
She nods and continues to flip through the book. “Ew. Don’t look at page 328. It’s scary.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
“So, you just fell out of love with him? Just like that?”
“Don’t be stupid, Cara.” I glare at my friend and then feel tears threaten when she raises her sober gaze to mine. “I miss him.”
