Falling for Jillian
Page 70
“Yes, Jill. You’re fine. I didn’t see any signs of blood at all. Take it easy the rest of the day. No hanky-panky.” She winks at us and backs toward the door. “Make an appointment for four weeks from now, but if you have any questions or concerns in the meantime, don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thanks, Hannah,” I reply as she leaves the room. I give Jill space to pull her clothes on and grab her purse, and follow her out of the office to her car. “Jill . . .”
She turns abruptly and wraps her arms around me, holding on with all her might, and for the first time since that horrible night in her kitchen, I feel hope spread through me.
“Come home with me?” she asks softly.
“I’ll be right behind you, sugar.”
I feel her smile against me before she pulls away and gets in her car. When we step inside her house, I help her out of her coat and boots, slip out of my own, and am shocked when she says, “I’m going to take a shower. I need a minute to think.” She bites her lip and looks at me uncertainly. “Do you mind waiting for me?”
“Take all the time you need, Jill. I’ll be here. Have you eaten anything?”
“No.”
“I’ll make you some soup and a sandwich.”
She nods and walks down to her room and I move into her kitchen to make the meal. Thirty minutes later, she comes into the kitchen, all scrubbed clean, her cheeks glowing and hair damp from the shower.
“You are so beautiful,” I whisper, not even realizing I’ve spoken aloud.
“Thank you,” she replies and turns her gaze down to her hands. “Thank you for feeding me.”
“Three very important people need the fuel,” I reply with a grin.
She smiles, and then her eyes fill with tears again.
“Aw, sugar, please don’t cry. It kills me when you cry.” I set her bowl of soup on the breakfast bar and then open my arms to her, and she walks willingly right inside them.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“Hey.” I cup her face in my hands and kiss her gently, reveling in the touch of her lips on mine. “Eat first, then we’ll talk.”
“Okay.” She nods and turns to the food set out for her. “Wow, this smells so good.”
“It is good. I already ate some.”
She smiles and eats her soup and sandwich with enthusiasm.
“I was hungry,” she says. “I’m always hungry these days.”
“That’s a good sign,” I reply. “You’re eating for three.”
“Good God, I’m going to be the size of this house!” she screeches.
“Probably not that big,” I reply and laugh, the knots in my stomach finally loosening.
She drags the last bite of sandwich through the last of the soup and pops it in her mouth, and I take her bowl to the sink to rinse. When I turn back to her, she has her head resting in her hand and she’s watching me quietly.
“Come on.” I take her hand and lead her to the couch in the living room. She sits in the corner, and I sit right next to her, pulling her legs up over mine. “Talk to me, sugar.”
“I don’t know where to start,” she whispers on a long sigh and closes her eyes.
“Well, I need to say this: I don’t just want to be here for moments like today, Jill. I want to be here for every moment.”
“I want that too,” she says and opens her eyes to meet mine. She bites that plump lower lip of hers and takes my hand in her own, lacing our fingers. “What you said before, when I told you I was pregnant, hurt me a lot.”
“I know. I don’t know how much more I can apologize for that.”
“You don’t have to. I’ve already forgiven you for that. I probably forgave you for it the next night when you came here and apologized.”
I frown down at her but wait for her to continue.
“But you also scared me. I mean, what if you’re right, Zack?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if I am a shitty mom like Kensie? Like my own mom,” she whispers.
“You are going to be an awesome mom, sugar.”
“But I have that in me,” she replies with wide blue eyes. “My mom is horrible. More than horrible. She’s a monster. Ty doesn’t even know about some of the things she said to me when I was a kid.”
I reach down and pull her into my lap and she wraps her arms around my neck, buries her face in my neck, and continues her story.
“She didn’t encourage me to hide in the closet from my dad. She put me there because I was in her way. She resented me and never let me forget it. You see, Seth and I have more in common than you’ll ever know.”
My arms tighten around her as anger flows through me. “Why didn’t you tell Ty?”
“Because he couldn’t do anything about it. Dad would have beat him until he should have been in the hospital.”
“Oh, baby.” I kiss her head and stroke my hands soothingly down her back. “How could you ever think that you could be that way with our babies? With Seth? Look at how fiercely you protected him against Kensie. You would die for my boy, Jilly.”
Just remembering the sight of her pushing Seth behind her while she attacked Kensie both humbles and infuriates me. She should never have been in that position in the first place.
“I love him,” she says and swallows hard. “I love you both.”
“Thanks, Hannah,” I reply as she leaves the room. I give Jill space to pull her clothes on and grab her purse, and follow her out of the office to her car. “Jill . . .”
She turns abruptly and wraps her arms around me, holding on with all her might, and for the first time since that horrible night in her kitchen, I feel hope spread through me.
“Come home with me?” she asks softly.
“I’ll be right behind you, sugar.”
I feel her smile against me before she pulls away and gets in her car. When we step inside her house, I help her out of her coat and boots, slip out of my own, and am shocked when she says, “I’m going to take a shower. I need a minute to think.” She bites her lip and looks at me uncertainly. “Do you mind waiting for me?”
“Take all the time you need, Jill. I’ll be here. Have you eaten anything?”
“No.”
“I’ll make you some soup and a sandwich.”
She nods and walks down to her room and I move into her kitchen to make the meal. Thirty minutes later, she comes into the kitchen, all scrubbed clean, her cheeks glowing and hair damp from the shower.
“You are so beautiful,” I whisper, not even realizing I’ve spoken aloud.
“Thank you,” she replies and turns her gaze down to her hands. “Thank you for feeding me.”
“Three very important people need the fuel,” I reply with a grin.
She smiles, and then her eyes fill with tears again.
“Aw, sugar, please don’t cry. It kills me when you cry.” I set her bowl of soup on the breakfast bar and then open my arms to her, and she walks willingly right inside them.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“Hey.” I cup her face in my hands and kiss her gently, reveling in the touch of her lips on mine. “Eat first, then we’ll talk.”
“Okay.” She nods and turns to the food set out for her. “Wow, this smells so good.”
“It is good. I already ate some.”
She smiles and eats her soup and sandwich with enthusiasm.
“I was hungry,” she says. “I’m always hungry these days.”
“That’s a good sign,” I reply. “You’re eating for three.”
“Good God, I’m going to be the size of this house!” she screeches.
“Probably not that big,” I reply and laugh, the knots in my stomach finally loosening.
She drags the last bite of sandwich through the last of the soup and pops it in her mouth, and I take her bowl to the sink to rinse. When I turn back to her, she has her head resting in her hand and she’s watching me quietly.
“Come on.” I take her hand and lead her to the couch in the living room. She sits in the corner, and I sit right next to her, pulling her legs up over mine. “Talk to me, sugar.”
“I don’t know where to start,” she whispers on a long sigh and closes her eyes.
“Well, I need to say this: I don’t just want to be here for moments like today, Jill. I want to be here for every moment.”
“I want that too,” she says and opens her eyes to meet mine. She bites that plump lower lip of hers and takes my hand in her own, lacing our fingers. “What you said before, when I told you I was pregnant, hurt me a lot.”
“I know. I don’t know how much more I can apologize for that.”
“You don’t have to. I’ve already forgiven you for that. I probably forgave you for it the next night when you came here and apologized.”
I frown down at her but wait for her to continue.
“But you also scared me. I mean, what if you’re right, Zack?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if I am a shitty mom like Kensie? Like my own mom,” she whispers.
“You are going to be an awesome mom, sugar.”
“But I have that in me,” she replies with wide blue eyes. “My mom is horrible. More than horrible. She’s a monster. Ty doesn’t even know about some of the things she said to me when I was a kid.”
I reach down and pull her into my lap and she wraps her arms around my neck, buries her face in my neck, and continues her story.
“She didn’t encourage me to hide in the closet from my dad. She put me there because I was in her way. She resented me and never let me forget it. You see, Seth and I have more in common than you’ll ever know.”
My arms tighten around her as anger flows through me. “Why didn’t you tell Ty?”
“Because he couldn’t do anything about it. Dad would have beat him until he should have been in the hospital.”
“Oh, baby.” I kiss her head and stroke my hands soothingly down her back. “How could you ever think that you could be that way with our babies? With Seth? Look at how fiercely you protected him against Kensie. You would die for my boy, Jilly.”
Just remembering the sight of her pushing Seth behind her while she attacked Kensie both humbles and infuriates me. She should never have been in that position in the first place.
“I love him,” she says and swallows hard. “I love you both.”
