Falling for the Backup
Page 30
Fuck, this was going to be hard.
“Aynslee, listen, I’m sorry. When the Adlers asked me out to celebrate the deal, I didn’t expect to see you at dinner. I was going to invite you, but you had that thing. I wanted to tell you,” he said, as he walked toward her.
She shook her head, turning around and going up the porch stairs. There was no way she was having this conversation with him in the front yard, where the neighbors could hear them. Once inside, she kicked off her heels and went to the kitchen for a beer. Cracking the top as Jordan shut the door, she said, “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change what is happening, Jordan.” She ran her hand over her face, wiping away her tears—then she slammed her beer down, causing it to spray everywhere. “It still means that you are leaving, that you are taking my heart and breaking it into pieces.”
“That’s not fair, Aynslee. I told you from the beginning that my life was up in the air.”
“I know, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt!”
“I understand that; it hurts me too, baby. I don’t want to leave you,” he said, reaching for her.
“Then don’t!” she said, stepping out of his reach. “Don’t leave me.”
He stopped, looking down at her as he ran his hand through his hair.
“Don’t you know that if I could stay here and be content with being some shit-ass backup goalie, I would? I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried to go to every team that was close to here, because I don’t want to leave you, but no one has a starting position. Please don’t make me choose between you and hockey. I’d pick you, Aynslee, I would, but I can’t guarantee I wouldn’t resent you later.”
She wished that it made her feel better that he would give up hockey for her, but it didn’t, and it wasn’t as if she’d let him do that anyway. She wanted him to ask her to go with him, but he wasn’t getting that! Shaking her head as tears rushed down her face, she said, “No, I’d never ask that of you.”
Silence filled the house as the tension gathered around them. “So you’ll leave after the playoffs?”
He nodded, his gaze piercing. “They want me to train with their goalie staff.”
“Oh,” she said sadly.
“It’s because of you that they offered me so much money to sign with them.”
She looked up at him, confused. “Me?”
“You know that guy you sat next to at the Buffalo game? He is my new boss.”
“Sean?”
“Yeah. He told my dad that after talking to you and seeing how much you believe in me, he couldn’t pass me up, and he offered me one hell of a contract,” he said, a small smile playing at his lips. But it fell as he reached for her. Threading his fingers through her hair, he tilted her head back and said, “Thank you.”
“I believe in you because you are the best. No thanks are needed.”
“No—thank you for being here and for everything. I’m back to being the guy I was before, and it’s all because of you.”
Her heart aching, she said, “That’s good for the next girl you meet.”
Jordan shook his head, moving his thumb along her cheek. “There will never be another girl,” he whispered, looking deep into her eyes.
“Sure there will.”
“No,” he said more sternly. “My heart is yours.”
He slowly laid his forehead against hers and kissed her nose. He then asked, “So what do you want to do?”
Aynslee closed her eyes, tears leaking out as she backed away, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know.”
He looked lost and broken, his hands limp at his sides as he said, “I don’t either.”
She couldn’t believe that this was going to happen like this. How could she let this end without knowing why he didn’t want to take her?
“Tell me why you haven’t asked me to go with you,” she demanded.
He paused, a confused expression on his face. He looked as if she wanted to know the cure for cancer. “You have a life here. A great job, friends, and you are happy. How is that fair to ask you to leave it for me? You’ll someday resent me.”
“Are you kidding me?” Her eyes wide, she said, “This life I have here doesn’t matter without you.”
“What?” he asked, and she could tell that he was flabbergasted.
“My life has been completely altered by you, and I’d rather move from the place I’ve been for only a year than lose you.”
His mouth slowly fell open. She couldn’t believe this: He thought she wouldn’t go and that’s why he didn’t ask? She should have just told him from the beginning that she would go with him; it would have saved her a month of stress.
God, they were a mess.
“Okay, let me get this straight,” he said, pointing at her. “You’ll come to Carolina with me?”
She smiled as her heart slammed into her chest. Running her hand over her face to wipe the tears away, she said, “Yes, Jordan. I love you. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth as long as you loved me and wanted me too.”
Jordan took a step toward her, his eyes locked on hers as he asked, “Really?”
“All you have to do is ask me, and I’ll go.”
The air crackled around them. This was the turning point. A wide grin came over his face, and he took her in his arms and kissed her hard on the lips.
“Aynslee, listen, I’m sorry. When the Adlers asked me out to celebrate the deal, I didn’t expect to see you at dinner. I was going to invite you, but you had that thing. I wanted to tell you,” he said, as he walked toward her.
She shook her head, turning around and going up the porch stairs. There was no way she was having this conversation with him in the front yard, where the neighbors could hear them. Once inside, she kicked off her heels and went to the kitchen for a beer. Cracking the top as Jordan shut the door, she said, “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change what is happening, Jordan.” She ran her hand over her face, wiping away her tears—then she slammed her beer down, causing it to spray everywhere. “It still means that you are leaving, that you are taking my heart and breaking it into pieces.”
“That’s not fair, Aynslee. I told you from the beginning that my life was up in the air.”
“I know, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt!”
“I understand that; it hurts me too, baby. I don’t want to leave you,” he said, reaching for her.
“Then don’t!” she said, stepping out of his reach. “Don’t leave me.”
He stopped, looking down at her as he ran his hand through his hair.
“Don’t you know that if I could stay here and be content with being some shit-ass backup goalie, I would? I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried to go to every team that was close to here, because I don’t want to leave you, but no one has a starting position. Please don’t make me choose between you and hockey. I’d pick you, Aynslee, I would, but I can’t guarantee I wouldn’t resent you later.”
She wished that it made her feel better that he would give up hockey for her, but it didn’t, and it wasn’t as if she’d let him do that anyway. She wanted him to ask her to go with him, but he wasn’t getting that! Shaking her head as tears rushed down her face, she said, “No, I’d never ask that of you.”
Silence filled the house as the tension gathered around them. “So you’ll leave after the playoffs?”
He nodded, his gaze piercing. “They want me to train with their goalie staff.”
“Oh,” she said sadly.
“It’s because of you that they offered me so much money to sign with them.”
She looked up at him, confused. “Me?”
“You know that guy you sat next to at the Buffalo game? He is my new boss.”
“Sean?”
“Yeah. He told my dad that after talking to you and seeing how much you believe in me, he couldn’t pass me up, and he offered me one hell of a contract,” he said, a small smile playing at his lips. But it fell as he reached for her. Threading his fingers through her hair, he tilted her head back and said, “Thank you.”
“I believe in you because you are the best. No thanks are needed.”
“No—thank you for being here and for everything. I’m back to being the guy I was before, and it’s all because of you.”
Her heart aching, she said, “That’s good for the next girl you meet.”
Jordan shook his head, moving his thumb along her cheek. “There will never be another girl,” he whispered, looking deep into her eyes.
“Sure there will.”
“No,” he said more sternly. “My heart is yours.”
He slowly laid his forehead against hers and kissed her nose. He then asked, “So what do you want to do?”
Aynslee closed her eyes, tears leaking out as she backed away, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know.”
He looked lost and broken, his hands limp at his sides as he said, “I don’t either.”
She couldn’t believe that this was going to happen like this. How could she let this end without knowing why he didn’t want to take her?
“Tell me why you haven’t asked me to go with you,” she demanded.
He paused, a confused expression on his face. He looked as if she wanted to know the cure for cancer. “You have a life here. A great job, friends, and you are happy. How is that fair to ask you to leave it for me? You’ll someday resent me.”
“Are you kidding me?” Her eyes wide, she said, “This life I have here doesn’t matter without you.”
“What?” he asked, and she could tell that he was flabbergasted.
“My life has been completely altered by you, and I’d rather move from the place I’ve been for only a year than lose you.”
His mouth slowly fell open. She couldn’t believe this: He thought she wouldn’t go and that’s why he didn’t ask? She should have just told him from the beginning that she would go with him; it would have saved her a month of stress.
God, they were a mess.
“Okay, let me get this straight,” he said, pointing at her. “You’ll come to Carolina with me?”
She smiled as her heart slammed into her chest. Running her hand over her face to wipe the tears away, she said, “Yes, Jordan. I love you. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth as long as you loved me and wanted me too.”
Jordan took a step toward her, his eyes locked on hers as he asked, “Really?”
“All you have to do is ask me, and I’ll go.”
The air crackled around them. This was the turning point. A wide grin came over his face, and he took her in his arms and kissed her hard on the lips.
