Fear Me
Page 126
“So you’re going to walk away from him too?”
“If that’s what it takes. He’s still out there.”
“Because you chose to save your brother’s life!” He didn’t react. I was right and he knew it. I couldn’t see much of anything that night but I knew Mitch was close enough for Keiran to kill him easily. Instead he concentrated on putting down the men who shot Keenan and so Mitch was able to get away. “You love your brother, Keiran…and you love me, or else you wouldn’t care.”
He shook his head and turned away. My breathing escalated at the same time that my temper skyrocketed. Fuck that. I looked around and noticed Quentin holding a basketball and watching us with sad eyes. I walked up to him and snatched the ball away before he could stop me. The next second it was flying through the air and hit Keiran’s back. I was on him before he could turn around fully and pushed him with all the strength I could find, and even though I knew my strength didn’t match his, I was too pissed and emotionally wrecked to care. I was willing to make a fool of myself for him. I had been for the last couple of months.
“You don’t just get to walk away,” I cried while beating on his chest. “You don’t get to leave.” My tears blinded me and surprisingly with each push he moved a step back. “You can’t,” I whispered breathlessly. His head lowered until his lips were centered right above mine.
“I…don’t…want…you,” he ground out and then pushed me away from him. I lost my footing and fell to the ground. There were collective sounds of shock and laughter around us. I watched Keiran walk away and didn’t notice when someone had lifted me off the floor. I couldn’t see anything but the sight of Keiran walking away from me. The need to escape and hide came when he was no longer in sight. I willed my feet to carry me down the hall and out the double doors to safety where I could die in peace.
* * *
There was nowhere else I felt safe enough to cry any more than in my grandmother’s arm. I pulled into Whispering Pines, spitting gravel as I slammed to a stop. I don’t remember the drive here. I didn’t remember much after running from school. All I could feel was pain. The weather had become even colder since the last time I was here so the grounds were empty. I rushed through the lobby, not stopping to check in and made my way to her room. When I reached my grandmother’s room I could hear familiar voices drifting through the cracked door.
“Oh, mom. I just don’t know what to do or say.” Aunt Carissa? When did she get back? She wasn’t due back until Wednesday.
“Honey, there isn’t an easy way to handle this but she needs to hear it. That child has been lost all these years. She thinks she hates them. Tell her the truth.”
“Mom, how do I just tell her that her parents didn’t abandoned her? They didn’t just die. They were murdered.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Someone once told me that pain didn’t last forever. I remember hearing it after finding out that my parents were missing. Over the years I found that to be complete bullshit. Pain was forever. It was love that didn’t last forever. I looked out the window while listening to the phone conversation.
“Lake, when are you coming home? We miss you and you know who is brooding again.” Willow said. It’d been a week since my fallout with Keiran. I never made it back home after overhearing my aunt’s conversation with my grandmother about my parents.
“Yeah, dude is seriously out of control this time,” Sheldon added, bringing me back to the present. “I caught him driving by your house yesterday.”
After he played me so brutally in front of the entire school, I did everything I could to forget him.
“And Dash says if you don’t come home soon he’s rounding up a search party.”
“Guys, Keiran must be worried about his brother.”
“Yeah, but even Coach is talking about benching him. It’s the first game of the season. The town is going to be pissed. Dash said there will be scouts out there and he could blow his chances if he doesn’t pull it together.”
“Am I supposed to feel sorry for him? I think he made it pretty clear that he didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“So you’re just going to let him go?” Willow asked.
“Are we really having this conversation right now?”
“It’s fine. You have to come home sometime.”
“No…I don’t. Look, I didn’t want to say anything too soon because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do but I think I’m going to finish the rest of senior year up here.”
“What!” they both screeched.
“Lake, no.” Willow sounded as if she was on the verge of crying.
“What are you thinking?” Sheldon asked with hostility.
“I’m thinking I need to get control of my life. I think it will be really good for me if I get away from Six Forks for a while and I can’t miss school. Guys…I already put in the transfer papers.”
The line was silent for a moment before I heard Sheldon growl, “Fuck that” before hanging up.
“Lake, are you sure?”
“Yes, Willow. I’m sure. It’s easier this way,” I admitted. I guess she didn’t have much to say after that because she ended the call. I rested my head against the back of the couch and thought about where the past two months have led me.
“You know running away from your problems never solves anything. They only catch up to you later.” My godmother and my aunt’s best friend, Karen, had come into the living room to sit next to me after I hung up with Willow. “I’m sorry I eavesdropped but I couldn’t help but overhear. It sounds to me as if you have people who care about you back home. Are you sure you want to give that up?”
“If that’s what it takes. He’s still out there.”
“Because you chose to save your brother’s life!” He didn’t react. I was right and he knew it. I couldn’t see much of anything that night but I knew Mitch was close enough for Keiran to kill him easily. Instead he concentrated on putting down the men who shot Keenan and so Mitch was able to get away. “You love your brother, Keiran…and you love me, or else you wouldn’t care.”
He shook his head and turned away. My breathing escalated at the same time that my temper skyrocketed. Fuck that. I looked around and noticed Quentin holding a basketball and watching us with sad eyes. I walked up to him and snatched the ball away before he could stop me. The next second it was flying through the air and hit Keiran’s back. I was on him before he could turn around fully and pushed him with all the strength I could find, and even though I knew my strength didn’t match his, I was too pissed and emotionally wrecked to care. I was willing to make a fool of myself for him. I had been for the last couple of months.
“You don’t just get to walk away,” I cried while beating on his chest. “You don’t get to leave.” My tears blinded me and surprisingly with each push he moved a step back. “You can’t,” I whispered breathlessly. His head lowered until his lips were centered right above mine.
“I…don’t…want…you,” he ground out and then pushed me away from him. I lost my footing and fell to the ground. There were collective sounds of shock and laughter around us. I watched Keiran walk away and didn’t notice when someone had lifted me off the floor. I couldn’t see anything but the sight of Keiran walking away from me. The need to escape and hide came when he was no longer in sight. I willed my feet to carry me down the hall and out the double doors to safety where I could die in peace.
* * *
There was nowhere else I felt safe enough to cry any more than in my grandmother’s arm. I pulled into Whispering Pines, spitting gravel as I slammed to a stop. I don’t remember the drive here. I didn’t remember much after running from school. All I could feel was pain. The weather had become even colder since the last time I was here so the grounds were empty. I rushed through the lobby, not stopping to check in and made my way to her room. When I reached my grandmother’s room I could hear familiar voices drifting through the cracked door.
“Oh, mom. I just don’t know what to do or say.” Aunt Carissa? When did she get back? She wasn’t due back until Wednesday.
“Honey, there isn’t an easy way to handle this but she needs to hear it. That child has been lost all these years. She thinks she hates them. Tell her the truth.”
“Mom, how do I just tell her that her parents didn’t abandoned her? They didn’t just die. They were murdered.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Someone once told me that pain didn’t last forever. I remember hearing it after finding out that my parents were missing. Over the years I found that to be complete bullshit. Pain was forever. It was love that didn’t last forever. I looked out the window while listening to the phone conversation.
“Lake, when are you coming home? We miss you and you know who is brooding again.” Willow said. It’d been a week since my fallout with Keiran. I never made it back home after overhearing my aunt’s conversation with my grandmother about my parents.
“Yeah, dude is seriously out of control this time,” Sheldon added, bringing me back to the present. “I caught him driving by your house yesterday.”
After he played me so brutally in front of the entire school, I did everything I could to forget him.
“And Dash says if you don’t come home soon he’s rounding up a search party.”
“Guys, Keiran must be worried about his brother.”
“Yeah, but even Coach is talking about benching him. It’s the first game of the season. The town is going to be pissed. Dash said there will be scouts out there and he could blow his chances if he doesn’t pull it together.”
“Am I supposed to feel sorry for him? I think he made it pretty clear that he didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“So you’re just going to let him go?” Willow asked.
“Are we really having this conversation right now?”
“It’s fine. You have to come home sometime.”
“No…I don’t. Look, I didn’t want to say anything too soon because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do but I think I’m going to finish the rest of senior year up here.”
“What!” they both screeched.
“Lake, no.” Willow sounded as if she was on the verge of crying.
“What are you thinking?” Sheldon asked with hostility.
“I’m thinking I need to get control of my life. I think it will be really good for me if I get away from Six Forks for a while and I can’t miss school. Guys…I already put in the transfer papers.”
The line was silent for a moment before I heard Sheldon growl, “Fuck that” before hanging up.
“Lake, are you sure?”
“Yes, Willow. I’m sure. It’s easier this way,” I admitted. I guess she didn’t have much to say after that because she ended the call. I rested my head against the back of the couch and thought about where the past two months have led me.
“You know running away from your problems never solves anything. They only catch up to you later.” My godmother and my aunt’s best friend, Karen, had come into the living room to sit next to me after I hung up with Willow. “I’m sorry I eavesdropped but I couldn’t help but overhear. It sounds to me as if you have people who care about you back home. Are you sure you want to give that up?”
