Fear Me
Page 70
“You don’t look so good. Sit,” he ordered, pulling me back down in his lap. I could still hear the muffled sounds of sex and I desperately tried to tune them out.
“You need to keep Dash away from Willow. He’s corrupting her.” I narrowed my eyes at Keiran in a pitiful attempt to intimidate him. The corner of his mouth lifted in a half grin.
“She wants it.”
“You don’t know her. You don’t know what she wants.”
“Apparently you don’t either and her moans say different,” he said matter-of-factly.
He didn’t sound cocky about it but it still pissed me off because I knew he was right. Despite Willow’s wish to stay away she seemed to always give into him. I snuck a peak at Keiran and admitted that I could understand how it felt to be that confused.
“She’s confused.” I didn’t know if I was trying to convince him or me. He looked at me as if I was dense before his eyes softened and he held my gaze.
“If it makes you feel better, he’s just as confused as she is and maybe just a little bit addicted.” Something told me he wasn’t speaking only of Dash and Willow, if at all.
“Why would he be addicted?”
“Because she’s so goddamn beautiful. In every way that counts.” I drew in a breath at the raw emotion evident in his voice. He wasn’t talking about them. He was talking about us. “Why did you run away from me this morning?”
“I didn’t run.” I lied.
“Don’t lie to me. Don’t ever do that.” His grey eyes hardened into steel.
“You ran Saturday. You got a phone call and just left without a word.”
He blew out a breath before answering. “I didn’t run. My uncle got word of what happened so I had to split and go home.”
I still got chills thinking about Trevor and what he tried to do. “How did you find me that day?” Keiran was still on the court when I left to chase after Willow and didn’t think he saw me leave.
“I saw Anya and Rosalyn approaching you and was watching for trouble when I saw Willow run off and you run off behind her.”
“I saw Willow run out of the locker room and went back to the gym to get Sheldon to drag you out. That must have been when Trevor slipped in,” he gritted. I could see the self-blame in his eyes and once again wanted to comfort him but I held back.
“Sheldon went in and came back out moments later for help.”
“So you still think I set you up?”
He shook his head, “No. Sheldon heard most of his confession. I heard enough.”
“So what happens now? What are we doing?” I was confused as to why he tracked me down if he knew the truth. “We are still enemies…aren’t we?”
“I – I don’t know,” he frowned in confusion. Huh? I wasn’t expecting that answer. “Trevor was right.” He swallowed heavily before continuing. “Last night I thought about you and about this thing between us that I kept alive for ten years. It was fucked up but it was the only way because I hated you. That part was real.”
“So what, you think we can just pick up where we left off? You want to continue to bully and humiliate me because it gets your rocks off?” I stood up to leave, way beyond pissed. “Screw you.” I flipped him off for kicks and turned to leave.
Of course he didn’t let me leave. I found myself flat on top of the table with his hard body hovering above me before I could take a step. I looked around for help but it was still too early for other students to be around and the librarian wasn’t leaving her solitaire game anytime soon.
“Shh.” He tried to soothe me. “I can’t say that I will never hurt you again or that I wont even want to.”
“No? And you would hurt my aunt too, won’t you?” He closed his eyes as if in pain and took a deep breath.
“I thought you framed me. It was never about going to jail. I’ve done more than enough shit to deserve that sentence and I’m not talking about to you. Anyway, I thought you were fighting back. I thought you weren’t afraid of me anymore. I had to make you afraid again because I couldn’t lose that control. I needed it.”
“So am I just supposed to forgive you?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I’m trying to be honest with you. I don’t have the right words to say to make this right. I just know that I would have done anything to control you. I still would.”
Is he serious? The look in his eyes told me he was. “What if someone tried to hurt your uncle? How would you feel?”
Nothing. Not a flicker or emotion or regret. His eyes and face were as still as death. “Don’t you care about your uncle?” I tried again.
“No.” His tone was flat and unapologetic.
Well shit. I stared up at him dumfounded not knowing what to say. “How? I mean…why not?” He shrugged his shoulders and got off the table, pulling me up with him to a seating position and then he was standing between my legs. “Well what about my aunt? Are you still having her followed?”
“No,” he said as he stared down at me. His hands started rubbing up and down my jean-clad thighs slowly. I wanted to pull the hood off his head so I could see all of his features and maybe run my hands through his hair. I started to relax when he confirmed that my aunt was now safe until something occurred to me.
“Are you trying to distract me?”
“You need to keep Dash away from Willow. He’s corrupting her.” I narrowed my eyes at Keiran in a pitiful attempt to intimidate him. The corner of his mouth lifted in a half grin.
“She wants it.”
“You don’t know her. You don’t know what she wants.”
“Apparently you don’t either and her moans say different,” he said matter-of-factly.
He didn’t sound cocky about it but it still pissed me off because I knew he was right. Despite Willow’s wish to stay away she seemed to always give into him. I snuck a peak at Keiran and admitted that I could understand how it felt to be that confused.
“She’s confused.” I didn’t know if I was trying to convince him or me. He looked at me as if I was dense before his eyes softened and he held my gaze.
“If it makes you feel better, he’s just as confused as she is and maybe just a little bit addicted.” Something told me he wasn’t speaking only of Dash and Willow, if at all.
“Why would he be addicted?”
“Because she’s so goddamn beautiful. In every way that counts.” I drew in a breath at the raw emotion evident in his voice. He wasn’t talking about them. He was talking about us. “Why did you run away from me this morning?”
“I didn’t run.” I lied.
“Don’t lie to me. Don’t ever do that.” His grey eyes hardened into steel.
“You ran Saturday. You got a phone call and just left without a word.”
He blew out a breath before answering. “I didn’t run. My uncle got word of what happened so I had to split and go home.”
I still got chills thinking about Trevor and what he tried to do. “How did you find me that day?” Keiran was still on the court when I left to chase after Willow and didn’t think he saw me leave.
“I saw Anya and Rosalyn approaching you and was watching for trouble when I saw Willow run off and you run off behind her.”
“I saw Willow run out of the locker room and went back to the gym to get Sheldon to drag you out. That must have been when Trevor slipped in,” he gritted. I could see the self-blame in his eyes and once again wanted to comfort him but I held back.
“Sheldon went in and came back out moments later for help.”
“So you still think I set you up?”
He shook his head, “No. Sheldon heard most of his confession. I heard enough.”
“So what happens now? What are we doing?” I was confused as to why he tracked me down if he knew the truth. “We are still enemies…aren’t we?”
“I – I don’t know,” he frowned in confusion. Huh? I wasn’t expecting that answer. “Trevor was right.” He swallowed heavily before continuing. “Last night I thought about you and about this thing between us that I kept alive for ten years. It was fucked up but it was the only way because I hated you. That part was real.”
“So what, you think we can just pick up where we left off? You want to continue to bully and humiliate me because it gets your rocks off?” I stood up to leave, way beyond pissed. “Screw you.” I flipped him off for kicks and turned to leave.
Of course he didn’t let me leave. I found myself flat on top of the table with his hard body hovering above me before I could take a step. I looked around for help but it was still too early for other students to be around and the librarian wasn’t leaving her solitaire game anytime soon.
“Shh.” He tried to soothe me. “I can’t say that I will never hurt you again or that I wont even want to.”
“No? And you would hurt my aunt too, won’t you?” He closed his eyes as if in pain and took a deep breath.
“I thought you framed me. It was never about going to jail. I’ve done more than enough shit to deserve that sentence and I’m not talking about to you. Anyway, I thought you were fighting back. I thought you weren’t afraid of me anymore. I had to make you afraid again because I couldn’t lose that control. I needed it.”
“So am I just supposed to forgive you?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I’m trying to be honest with you. I don’t have the right words to say to make this right. I just know that I would have done anything to control you. I still would.”
Is he serious? The look in his eyes told me he was. “What if someone tried to hurt your uncle? How would you feel?”
Nothing. Not a flicker or emotion or regret. His eyes and face were as still as death. “Don’t you care about your uncle?” I tried again.
“No.” His tone was flat and unapologetic.
Well shit. I stared up at him dumfounded not knowing what to say. “How? I mean…why not?” He shrugged his shoulders and got off the table, pulling me up with him to a seating position and then he was standing between my legs. “Well what about my aunt? Are you still having her followed?”
“No,” he said as he stared down at me. His hands started rubbing up and down my jean-clad thighs slowly. I wanted to pull the hood off his head so I could see all of his features and maybe run my hands through his hair. I started to relax when he confirmed that my aunt was now safe until something occurred to me.
“Are you trying to distract me?”
