Fear Us
Page 27
Graduation was in a week, which also meant Keiran would miss his graduation. Lake was devastated and had been camped out with me since his arrest. She said she couldn’t bear flying back to Arizona and leaving him behind despite the way he treated her during his arrest, so we’ve been using each other for comfort.
For the first time in a long time, I thought about Willow and what she would say or do if she were here. It’s been three years since I’ve spoken with her and even longer since I last saw her. I told myself I wouldn’t be, but I was hurt when she decided to leave us all behind. She cut off all contact and even stayed away from Six Forks.
Dash never spoke a word about her, but I knew it had to hurt him twice as much as it did me. Call it twin intuition.
Lake had confessed to ruining their friendship forever when she made the decision to follow Keiran to Arizona. Despite Keiran’s record, Arizona had offered both Keiran and Dash an athletic scholarship among Duke, Wisconsin, and Kentucky. However, Keiran had been prepared to turn them all down when Lake told Keiran that attending college with Willow had been their plan ever since they were little girls. Nebraska was where they would have studied for their humanities degree together—Willow in textiles and fashion, Lake in education.
Somehow, Lake had convinced Keiran that a long distance relationship would work and that she couldn’t be the cause of Keiran giving up his dream, and so they attended separate colleges.
True to new love, long distance lasted for a semester and then Lake transferred to Arizona, which Willow had taken hard, especially after Willow’s mother disowned her for sticking with her decision to pursue a fashion degree. Her mother wouldn’t approve of a career she believed didn’t offer a future or security.
Lake, Keiran, and Dash had gone in search of Willow after an entire semester without contact to find she was no longer attending the school in Nebraska. When we realized she had not returned home, worry grew into anger. It was as if she just disappeared.
“Sheldon… Sheldon!”
Dash’s voice penetrated my thoughts, and I was snatched back to the present.
“Can you please stop shouting my name?”
“Your daughter is missing and so is your baby daddy ,” Dash sneered. “Are you really sitting here day dreaming?”
“No one is more aware that my daughter is missing than I am!” I was off the couch and in his face. I had never hated someone as much as I did my twin just now. I shared a womb with him, but I’d never felt more disconnected from him than I had the last four years.
Ever since Willow had disappeared, he’d turned into a bastard. He was hard and cold and relentless. Despite all his efforts, he managed to become our father, only worse. I’d never known my father to be anything other than a hard man, but Dash had once been easygoing, charming, and easy to talk to.
“I have no idea who took her and why. I don’t know if she’s been fed or if she’s warm at night. I can’t even sleep because all I can hear is her screaming for me. I can’t eat because just the idea of what she’s going through makes me sick. I want to die, Dash.”
My cries were drowned in his chest after pulling me close. I clung to him despite our differences.
“I’m sorry, okay?”
I nodded because speaking was impossible. I’m not sure how long we stood there, but when we finally pulled apart, the entire front of his dress shirt was soaked with my tears.
I laughed, and when he looked at me curiously, I pointed to his shirt.
His face twisted as he took in his shirt, which no doubt cost more than my rent. “Great, now I’m covered in snot.”
“It looks good on you. I hear it’s all the rage in Paris.”
“Oh, yeah? How am I supposed to catch women with my sister’s boogers all over me?”
His joke made me panic and I could no longer keep from asking the question I held in all these years. “Dash?”
“Yeah?”
“Why don’t you find her?”
Just like that, his expression transformed from playful to serious. “Because she doesn’t want to be found… and she doesn’t want me.”
“But how will you ever know for sure if you don’t go after her?” My question seemed to make him hesitant as he rubbed the back of his neck in the way he did when he was nervous. “I have to tell you something. I’m—”
A knock on my door interrupted whatever he had been ready to say. I went to open the door and found Keenan standing on the other side with a guy I recognized but whose name I couldn’t remember. His blond, wavy hair and bright blue eyes gave him a polished, college look, and I wondered if I’d gone to school with him. Maybe he was in a fraternity.
For the first time in a long time, I thought about Willow and what she would say or do if she were here. It’s been three years since I’ve spoken with her and even longer since I last saw her. I told myself I wouldn’t be, but I was hurt when she decided to leave us all behind. She cut off all contact and even stayed away from Six Forks.
Dash never spoke a word about her, but I knew it had to hurt him twice as much as it did me. Call it twin intuition.
Lake had confessed to ruining their friendship forever when she made the decision to follow Keiran to Arizona. Despite Keiran’s record, Arizona had offered both Keiran and Dash an athletic scholarship among Duke, Wisconsin, and Kentucky. However, Keiran had been prepared to turn them all down when Lake told Keiran that attending college with Willow had been their plan ever since they were little girls. Nebraska was where they would have studied for their humanities degree together—Willow in textiles and fashion, Lake in education.
Somehow, Lake had convinced Keiran that a long distance relationship would work and that she couldn’t be the cause of Keiran giving up his dream, and so they attended separate colleges.
True to new love, long distance lasted for a semester and then Lake transferred to Arizona, which Willow had taken hard, especially after Willow’s mother disowned her for sticking with her decision to pursue a fashion degree. Her mother wouldn’t approve of a career she believed didn’t offer a future or security.
Lake, Keiran, and Dash had gone in search of Willow after an entire semester without contact to find she was no longer attending the school in Nebraska. When we realized she had not returned home, worry grew into anger. It was as if she just disappeared.
“Sheldon… Sheldon!”
Dash’s voice penetrated my thoughts, and I was snatched back to the present.
“Can you please stop shouting my name?”
“Your daughter is missing and so is your baby daddy ,” Dash sneered. “Are you really sitting here day dreaming?”
“No one is more aware that my daughter is missing than I am!” I was off the couch and in his face. I had never hated someone as much as I did my twin just now. I shared a womb with him, but I’d never felt more disconnected from him than I had the last four years.
Ever since Willow had disappeared, he’d turned into a bastard. He was hard and cold and relentless. Despite all his efforts, he managed to become our father, only worse. I’d never known my father to be anything other than a hard man, but Dash had once been easygoing, charming, and easy to talk to.
“I have no idea who took her and why. I don’t know if she’s been fed or if she’s warm at night. I can’t even sleep because all I can hear is her screaming for me. I can’t eat because just the idea of what she’s going through makes me sick. I want to die, Dash.”
My cries were drowned in his chest after pulling me close. I clung to him despite our differences.
“I’m sorry, okay?”
I nodded because speaking was impossible. I’m not sure how long we stood there, but when we finally pulled apart, the entire front of his dress shirt was soaked with my tears.
I laughed, and when he looked at me curiously, I pointed to his shirt.
His face twisted as he took in his shirt, which no doubt cost more than my rent. “Great, now I’m covered in snot.”
“It looks good on you. I hear it’s all the rage in Paris.”
“Oh, yeah? How am I supposed to catch women with my sister’s boogers all over me?”
His joke made me panic and I could no longer keep from asking the question I held in all these years. “Dash?”
“Yeah?”
“Why don’t you find her?”
Just like that, his expression transformed from playful to serious. “Because she doesn’t want to be found… and she doesn’t want me.”
“But how will you ever know for sure if you don’t go after her?” My question seemed to make him hesitant as he rubbed the back of his neck in the way he did when he was nervous. “I have to tell you something. I’m—”
A knock on my door interrupted whatever he had been ready to say. I went to open the door and found Keenan standing on the other side with a guy I recognized but whose name I couldn’t remember. His blond, wavy hair and bright blue eyes gave him a polished, college look, and I wondered if I’d gone to school with him. Maybe he was in a fraternity.
