Fear Us
Page 63
“Like what?”
“Like you’re searching for something.”
“Because I am.”
“And what are you searching for?”
“Him.”
“Him?”
“The boy I fell in love with.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because I’ve wanted to tell him for a long time now that I still love him.”
My ears rang with the force of my heart pounding in my chest. I searched for sincerity or for a sign that it could still be a lie.
She still loved me?
No... Not me.
Him.
“What?”
“I want him to come back. If not for me, then for Kennedy.”
“He was cocky, arrogant, spoiled, and unfaithful, remember?” Her opinion of me would forever remain in my memory. I didn’t have the right to feel hurt over it. I’d more than earned it.
“Yes, but he also followed his conscience and loved with his heart on his sleeve. He would have given his life for me rather than threaten to take mine in more ways than one. He left because deep down he couldn’t let me go any other way, so he did what he could to set me free.”
She trailed her finger to a specific spot on my chest just below my heart. Caged in between the broken vines were the words— A broken love can still last forever so long as you carry the pieces close to your heart.
“I forgave him years ago, and I carried the pieces too, waiting for him to come back, but he never did. I had to learn to live without him.”
She looked up at me with so much hope and love that I had no choice but to let her go and leave the bed. In truth, I was at a loss for words. I quickly gathered my clothes to dress and headed for the bathroom. The door closed, but not in time for me to miss the sound of her cry.
* * * * *
When we arrived, the restaurant was alive with locals and tourists. The bar was already crowded and every table seemed to be filled. I quickly spotted our party seated at a table in the back and led Sheldon by the hand, much to her chagrin.
“Nice of you to join us,” Dash greeted sarcastically.
“You really need to find a girl so you can stop acting like such a cock block,” Keiran remarked.
“Keiran!” Shelly scolded as she took her seat on Kennedy’s right. I took the seat on Kennedy’s left and reached for the waiting glass of water.
“I’m not cock-blocking. I’m hungry.”
“Uncle Keke, what’s that?”
“Shit.”
“Oooh, mama. Uncle said a bad word.”
“Congratulations, douchebag. You have officially corrupted our niece.”
“What’s a doo?”
“You’re both dumbasses.” Q laughed.
“Dumb ass!” Kennedy repeated and then laughed outrageously.
“For fuck sake, everyone stop talking before you all corrupt my daughter.” Everyone at the table grew quiet at my outburst including Kennedy. Sheldon’s gasp was audible, but I had eyes only for Kennedy and her for me though hers were rounded with wonder. I wondered if she could understand what had just happened. I chewed on my bottom lip wondering what I should do next.
“What’s fuck?”
Everyone burst out laughing.
“Kennedy, that is a bad word that little girls should not say and neither should grown-ups when in the presence of a sweet little girl like you. I am so sorry.”
She nodded and turned her attention back to eating her chicken tenders as if nothing had happened. When she dipped a chicken tender, I noticed she had ketchup and honey mustard mixed together just as I do.
“We ordered for her so she wouldn’t have to wait for you to finish bumping uglies like the rest of us,” Dash griped once again.
“You are suffering from serious blue balls, my man.”
We ordered and conversation flowed easily for the rest of dinner. I learned a lot of what had taken place in my absence.
Sheldon was scheduled to graduate with a pre-medical degree next Saturday. She wanted to study to be a pediatrician. This was news to me given that she’d always wanted to be a fashion model. I had a feeling that Kennedy had something to do with that.
Keiran was studying for a degree in computer science. That gave me the longest pause. He had received an athletic scholarship to play basketball for Arizona so I knew obtaining a degree was a part of that deal, but I hadn’t expected him to choose something that didn’t involve sports.
Lake was studying for a degree in education. Her plan was to become an elementary school teacher specializing in learning disabilities.
“Like you’re searching for something.”
“Because I am.”
“And what are you searching for?”
“Him.”
“Him?”
“The boy I fell in love with.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because I’ve wanted to tell him for a long time now that I still love him.”
My ears rang with the force of my heart pounding in my chest. I searched for sincerity or for a sign that it could still be a lie.
She still loved me?
No... Not me.
Him.
“What?”
“I want him to come back. If not for me, then for Kennedy.”
“He was cocky, arrogant, spoiled, and unfaithful, remember?” Her opinion of me would forever remain in my memory. I didn’t have the right to feel hurt over it. I’d more than earned it.
“Yes, but he also followed his conscience and loved with his heart on his sleeve. He would have given his life for me rather than threaten to take mine in more ways than one. He left because deep down he couldn’t let me go any other way, so he did what he could to set me free.”
She trailed her finger to a specific spot on my chest just below my heart. Caged in between the broken vines were the words— A broken love can still last forever so long as you carry the pieces close to your heart.
“I forgave him years ago, and I carried the pieces too, waiting for him to come back, but he never did. I had to learn to live without him.”
She looked up at me with so much hope and love that I had no choice but to let her go and leave the bed. In truth, I was at a loss for words. I quickly gathered my clothes to dress and headed for the bathroom. The door closed, but not in time for me to miss the sound of her cry.
* * * * *
When we arrived, the restaurant was alive with locals and tourists. The bar was already crowded and every table seemed to be filled. I quickly spotted our party seated at a table in the back and led Sheldon by the hand, much to her chagrin.
“Nice of you to join us,” Dash greeted sarcastically.
“You really need to find a girl so you can stop acting like such a cock block,” Keiran remarked.
“Keiran!” Shelly scolded as she took her seat on Kennedy’s right. I took the seat on Kennedy’s left and reached for the waiting glass of water.
“I’m not cock-blocking. I’m hungry.”
“Uncle Keke, what’s that?”
“Shit.”
“Oooh, mama. Uncle said a bad word.”
“Congratulations, douchebag. You have officially corrupted our niece.”
“What’s a doo?”
“You’re both dumbasses.” Q laughed.
“Dumb ass!” Kennedy repeated and then laughed outrageously.
“For fuck sake, everyone stop talking before you all corrupt my daughter.” Everyone at the table grew quiet at my outburst including Kennedy. Sheldon’s gasp was audible, but I had eyes only for Kennedy and her for me though hers were rounded with wonder. I wondered if she could understand what had just happened. I chewed on my bottom lip wondering what I should do next.
“What’s fuck?”
Everyone burst out laughing.
“Kennedy, that is a bad word that little girls should not say and neither should grown-ups when in the presence of a sweet little girl like you. I am so sorry.”
She nodded and turned her attention back to eating her chicken tenders as if nothing had happened. When she dipped a chicken tender, I noticed she had ketchup and honey mustard mixed together just as I do.
“We ordered for her so she wouldn’t have to wait for you to finish bumping uglies like the rest of us,” Dash griped once again.
“You are suffering from serious blue balls, my man.”
We ordered and conversation flowed easily for the rest of dinner. I learned a lot of what had taken place in my absence.
Sheldon was scheduled to graduate with a pre-medical degree next Saturday. She wanted to study to be a pediatrician. This was news to me given that she’d always wanted to be a fashion model. I had a feeling that Kennedy had something to do with that.
Keiran was studying for a degree in computer science. That gave me the longest pause. He had received an athletic scholarship to play basketball for Arizona so I knew obtaining a degree was a part of that deal, but I hadn’t expected him to choose something that didn’t involve sports.
Lake was studying for a degree in education. Her plan was to become an elementary school teacher specializing in learning disabilities.
