Fear Us
Page 83
“What do you mean?” I asked absently as I cut through the tape on another box. Michelangelo stared back at me in the form of a backpack. The little green monster was smirking while he stood ready in a pose for combat.
“Are you going to fight for her this time?”
“Who?”
“Does it matter? They’re a pair now, you know. Two for the price of one,” she joked.
“What’s that?”
“Oy… pay attention, will you? The woman you’ve been in love with, the mother of your child, and the woman you pulled out of a burning car is out there falling in love with someone else and you’re here decorating.”
“She wants nothing to do with me, Di. She made that clear.”
“Well, you had just almost gotten her killed because she was worried about you when you couldn’t be bothered to care for yourself.”
I took a deep breath and closed the box full of my daughter’s things that were left behind that morning a month ago. “Who have you been talking to?”
“Lake. She and Keiran are doing great in Hawaii, by the way.”
Keiran and Lake had temporarily relocated for the summer until Lake starts graduate school at Stanford in the fall. Keiran's brush with his past after four years was hard on Lake who hadn’t been able to relax since.
Keiran had taken his inheritance and funneled a large portion of it into Jesse’s company, becoming a partner. It was hard to believe Keiran fought past his jealousy and now actually worked with the man. No one knows what he did with the rest of his inheritance. He only claimed it was no longer his.
Apparently, he made this decision long before the NBA offers poured in. All of which he’d turned down.
Even though our relationship was still rocky, I couldn’t help but respect his decision. Something told me Lake had something to do with it. Indirectly, of course. Anyone with eyes could see that Keiran sought her approval. He wanted to be worthy of her.
It also explained the degree in computer science.
I didn’t think I would ever get over that one.
“That’s great. When are they coming back?”
“In about two months, but don’t try to change the subject. What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to be a decent human being for once.”
“By denying your feelings and a child her father?”
“Kennedy doesn’t know I’m her father. It’s better this way. I won’t have to spend the next fifteen years afraid that I will become my father and her suffering for it.”
“So fulfill the promise you made a dying man during his final moments and do the right thing.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
SHELDON
I READ THE words of the letter for what seemed like the hundredth time.
I did it.
After four years of wanting to pull my eyeballs through my skull by my hair, I’d accomplished what I set out to do. Medical school was calling my name.
Worry tried to worm its way through, but I wouldn’t let the stress of the past few weeks or my future obstacles as a med student and single mother ruin this moment.
I needed to call someone.
Eric surprisingly popped in my head, but after Keenan had beaten him to a pulp in front of a restaurant full of people, including his parents, he made it clear I wasn’t to contact him, especially after I told him about Kennedy.
Apparently, his parents had a certain image preset for him that my baggage and I would tarnish. And so ended a one-year relationship that would have never developed past the limit I had set of my own.
I was even more grateful that I never slept with him.
I never even had the urge.
It was time to for me to make Kennedy’s lunch so I checked on her first. It was a full-time job keeping her out of mischief. For the first time, she took the initiative to actually draw on paper instead of the walls or furniture. Her head was bent and her face serious with concentration as she doodled. I was beginning to believe that drawing was something she loved to do like her father.
Don’t think about him, Sheldon.
Don’t think about how he hadn’t called nor had he stayed.
Nope. He went back to California to his tattoo shop and high-rise apartment and… Di.
I wondered if they ever had sex or if their friendship had been completely platonic.
There was something about her that didn’t meet the eye. I didn’t know if it was good or bad, but I knew she was more than she showed the world. Maybe it was why I didn’t trust her.
Or maybe I was just jealous.
After all, she had been in his life for the last four years when I hadn’t.
“Are you going to fight for her this time?”
“Who?”
“Does it matter? They’re a pair now, you know. Two for the price of one,” she joked.
“What’s that?”
“Oy… pay attention, will you? The woman you’ve been in love with, the mother of your child, and the woman you pulled out of a burning car is out there falling in love with someone else and you’re here decorating.”
“She wants nothing to do with me, Di. She made that clear.”
“Well, you had just almost gotten her killed because she was worried about you when you couldn’t be bothered to care for yourself.”
I took a deep breath and closed the box full of my daughter’s things that were left behind that morning a month ago. “Who have you been talking to?”
“Lake. She and Keiran are doing great in Hawaii, by the way.”
Keiran and Lake had temporarily relocated for the summer until Lake starts graduate school at Stanford in the fall. Keiran's brush with his past after four years was hard on Lake who hadn’t been able to relax since.
Keiran had taken his inheritance and funneled a large portion of it into Jesse’s company, becoming a partner. It was hard to believe Keiran fought past his jealousy and now actually worked with the man. No one knows what he did with the rest of his inheritance. He only claimed it was no longer his.
Apparently, he made this decision long before the NBA offers poured in. All of which he’d turned down.
Even though our relationship was still rocky, I couldn’t help but respect his decision. Something told me Lake had something to do with it. Indirectly, of course. Anyone with eyes could see that Keiran sought her approval. He wanted to be worthy of her.
It also explained the degree in computer science.
I didn’t think I would ever get over that one.
“That’s great. When are they coming back?”
“In about two months, but don’t try to change the subject. What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to be a decent human being for once.”
“By denying your feelings and a child her father?”
“Kennedy doesn’t know I’m her father. It’s better this way. I won’t have to spend the next fifteen years afraid that I will become my father and her suffering for it.”
“So fulfill the promise you made a dying man during his final moments and do the right thing.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
SHELDON
I READ THE words of the letter for what seemed like the hundredth time.
I did it.
After four years of wanting to pull my eyeballs through my skull by my hair, I’d accomplished what I set out to do. Medical school was calling my name.
Worry tried to worm its way through, but I wouldn’t let the stress of the past few weeks or my future obstacles as a med student and single mother ruin this moment.
I needed to call someone.
Eric surprisingly popped in my head, but after Keenan had beaten him to a pulp in front of a restaurant full of people, including his parents, he made it clear I wasn’t to contact him, especially after I told him about Kennedy.
Apparently, his parents had a certain image preset for him that my baggage and I would tarnish. And so ended a one-year relationship that would have never developed past the limit I had set of my own.
I was even more grateful that I never slept with him.
I never even had the urge.
It was time to for me to make Kennedy’s lunch so I checked on her first. It was a full-time job keeping her out of mischief. For the first time, she took the initiative to actually draw on paper instead of the walls or furniture. Her head was bent and her face serious with concentration as she doodled. I was beginning to believe that drawing was something she loved to do like her father.
Don’t think about him, Sheldon.
Don’t think about how he hadn’t called nor had he stayed.
Nope. He went back to California to his tattoo shop and high-rise apartment and… Di.
I wondered if they ever had sex or if their friendship had been completely platonic.
There was something about her that didn’t meet the eye. I didn’t know if it was good or bad, but I knew she was more than she showed the world. Maybe it was why I didn’t trust her.
Or maybe I was just jealous.
After all, she had been in his life for the last four years when I hadn’t.
