Fearless In Love
Page 23
“I don’t want to go,” he grumbled, his mouth in a frown as he stared down the empty drive.
“Okay. Then why don’t we finish the castle so your dad can see it when he gets home?”
“I hate the castle.” He scuffed his shoe on the drive. “Why wouldn’t Daddy let me go if Mommy wanted me to?”
There was no way Ari could explain to the little boy that Irene would never take him on a trip like that, because no matter how well behaved he was, he would get in the way of her fun. Ari was beyond fumed that Irene had the nerve to blame it on Matt.
She knelt in the driveway. “It’s very hard for little boys to pick up and go like that. You have school on Monday. And your mommy will be very busy with all her designer friends.”
His lip trembled again. “But she was going to take me to the zoo.”
“I know.” A bubble of anger rose up in Ari’s throat, and she had to work to swallow it. She didn’t say that he and his mom would do it next time, because she didn’t believe Irene would actually follow through. For Irene, there would always be something sparkly and new that took precedence over Noah. “We’ll think of something fun to do instead.”
He jerked his hand out of hers. “No!” he shouted, stamping his foot. “It’s not fair. I want to go with her. I want to bounce on the bouncy thing. Daddy isn’t nice to me! And neither are you!” He ran up the steps into the house, slamming the front door behind him.
Ari double-cursed Irene. And by the time she got to the playroom, Noah had blown through, kicking the castle apart. She climbed the stairs to his room to find him curled in a ball on his bed. She sat beside him, but he rolled away, giving her his back.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” she whispered. It was the same thing she’d told his father less than twenty-four hours ago. The same thing she’d told herself this morning, even as her heart continued to ache.
“It’s not.” He sniffled and sobbed, his arm over his face. “Why doesn’t she like me?”
She was close to tears herself. “Oh, sweetheart, of course she likes you. She loves you.” But what excuse was she supposed to give for the way Irene had behaved? “She’s just so busy.” And careless and thoughtless. And downright cruel. “She loves you, sweetheart. As much as your daddy does.” Then she added what was already in her heart. “As much as I do.”
All her words did was make him sob harder, hiccupping with his distress.
Knowing he needed to get it out, she let Noah cry, rubbing his back, until finally he fell asleep. And all the while her heart broke for him, for the mother he wanted and could never have. She knew about wanting your mom to be someone you could count on—wanting it even when you knew it was never going to happen.
Her heart broke for Matt too. She was sure that every time Irene visited Noah, it ended like this—in tantrums, stamping feet, and tears. How helpless and powerless Matt must feel.
Just as helpless and powerless as Ari felt against her growing feelings for Noah’s father, who had made all of her dreams come true for a few precious hours in the dark.
Chapter Twelve
Matt went straight to the playroom when he got home from the lab. He tried to spend weekends at home with Noah, but with the new product Trebotics International was releasing at the end of the month, the quality inspection this morning couldn’t wait. He’d hoped his absence would make things easier with Ari too, giving them both a few hours to think straight about what they’d done last night and accept that it could never happen again.
Only, he hadn’t been able to push her into a corner of his mind any more than he’d been able to keep from taking her to his bed last night. Every other thought was of how beautiful, how soft, how sweet—and how sexy—she’d been.
You can’t have her, he reminded himself. Last night can never happen again.
But all it took was one smile from Ari, seated beside Noah on the playroom floor, for Matt’s heart to stutter in his chest. In the sunlight through the window, her hair a fiery gold, she was the angel he’d seen by the fountain during the unveiling of Charlie’s sculpture.
He’d used the excuse of work to walk away from her this morning, but now he was all out of excuses. He knelt on the carpet beside them and a gazillion Lego pieces, finally noting that Noah hadn’t looked up, not even to say hi. “What are you working on, buddy?”
“Nothing.” His son’s voice was sullen.
Matt’s gut twisted again with fear as well as guilt. “Is everything all right after yesterday?” he asked Ari, his pulse racing. Could a concussion bring on mood swings? Had the doctor diagnosed his injury correctly?
“He just woke up from a nap. He’s still sleepy. Right, Noah?” She reached out a hand, and Noah flinched. The movement was slight, but Matt was hyperaware after yesterday’s fall.
“You don’t usually take naps anymore,” he said to his son.
Noah shrugged and kept robotically plugging parts into his latest creation. Matt frowned. Something was definitely off. But if it wasn’t yesterday’s fall, then what?
Ari moved gracefully to her feet. “I’ll get your dad some coffee, okay, Noah? We’ll be right back.” She gave Matt a penetrating stare and gestured for him to join her.
By the time he met her in the kitchen, Matt had finally guessed the problem. “Irene was here, wasn’t she?” He recognized the signs, and they tore him up inside, knowing exactly what Noah was feeling.
Ari pursed her lips. “Yes. I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Noah.”
He swore under his breath. “Tell me what happened.” Every beat of his heart felt like a nail driving deeper.
Closing her eyes briefly, she shook her head. It was the kind of gesture everyone made after Irene descended on them like an atomic bomb. “She brought him Legos, firecrackers, and a trampoline.”
“Firecrackers?” Even for Irene, that was crazy.
“The trampoline is outside. I wouldn’t let him use it, and he’s upset. It’s not child-size, and there’s no net.” She sighed. “But we were getting over that. Until Noah’s mother got a call inviting her to Paris for a fashion show right after they’d made plans to go to the zoo together this afternoon. She had to leave right away to catch her plane, so no zoo.”
“Okay. Then why don’t we finish the castle so your dad can see it when he gets home?”
“I hate the castle.” He scuffed his shoe on the drive. “Why wouldn’t Daddy let me go if Mommy wanted me to?”
There was no way Ari could explain to the little boy that Irene would never take him on a trip like that, because no matter how well behaved he was, he would get in the way of her fun. Ari was beyond fumed that Irene had the nerve to blame it on Matt.
She knelt in the driveway. “It’s very hard for little boys to pick up and go like that. You have school on Monday. And your mommy will be very busy with all her designer friends.”
His lip trembled again. “But she was going to take me to the zoo.”
“I know.” A bubble of anger rose up in Ari’s throat, and she had to work to swallow it. She didn’t say that he and his mom would do it next time, because she didn’t believe Irene would actually follow through. For Irene, there would always be something sparkly and new that took precedence over Noah. “We’ll think of something fun to do instead.”
He jerked his hand out of hers. “No!” he shouted, stamping his foot. “It’s not fair. I want to go with her. I want to bounce on the bouncy thing. Daddy isn’t nice to me! And neither are you!” He ran up the steps into the house, slamming the front door behind him.
Ari double-cursed Irene. And by the time she got to the playroom, Noah had blown through, kicking the castle apart. She climbed the stairs to his room to find him curled in a ball on his bed. She sat beside him, but he rolled away, giving her his back.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” she whispered. It was the same thing she’d told his father less than twenty-four hours ago. The same thing she’d told herself this morning, even as her heart continued to ache.
“It’s not.” He sniffled and sobbed, his arm over his face. “Why doesn’t she like me?”
She was close to tears herself. “Oh, sweetheart, of course she likes you. She loves you.” But what excuse was she supposed to give for the way Irene had behaved? “She’s just so busy.” And careless and thoughtless. And downright cruel. “She loves you, sweetheart. As much as your daddy does.” Then she added what was already in her heart. “As much as I do.”
All her words did was make him sob harder, hiccupping with his distress.
Knowing he needed to get it out, she let Noah cry, rubbing his back, until finally he fell asleep. And all the while her heart broke for him, for the mother he wanted and could never have. She knew about wanting your mom to be someone you could count on—wanting it even when you knew it was never going to happen.
Her heart broke for Matt too. She was sure that every time Irene visited Noah, it ended like this—in tantrums, stamping feet, and tears. How helpless and powerless Matt must feel.
Just as helpless and powerless as Ari felt against her growing feelings for Noah’s father, who had made all of her dreams come true for a few precious hours in the dark.
Chapter Twelve
Matt went straight to the playroom when he got home from the lab. He tried to spend weekends at home with Noah, but with the new product Trebotics International was releasing at the end of the month, the quality inspection this morning couldn’t wait. He’d hoped his absence would make things easier with Ari too, giving them both a few hours to think straight about what they’d done last night and accept that it could never happen again.
Only, he hadn’t been able to push her into a corner of his mind any more than he’d been able to keep from taking her to his bed last night. Every other thought was of how beautiful, how soft, how sweet—and how sexy—she’d been.
You can’t have her, he reminded himself. Last night can never happen again.
But all it took was one smile from Ari, seated beside Noah on the playroom floor, for Matt’s heart to stutter in his chest. In the sunlight through the window, her hair a fiery gold, she was the angel he’d seen by the fountain during the unveiling of Charlie’s sculpture.
He’d used the excuse of work to walk away from her this morning, but now he was all out of excuses. He knelt on the carpet beside them and a gazillion Lego pieces, finally noting that Noah hadn’t looked up, not even to say hi. “What are you working on, buddy?”
“Nothing.” His son’s voice was sullen.
Matt’s gut twisted again with fear as well as guilt. “Is everything all right after yesterday?” he asked Ari, his pulse racing. Could a concussion bring on mood swings? Had the doctor diagnosed his injury correctly?
“He just woke up from a nap. He’s still sleepy. Right, Noah?” She reached out a hand, and Noah flinched. The movement was slight, but Matt was hyperaware after yesterday’s fall.
“You don’t usually take naps anymore,” he said to his son.
Noah shrugged and kept robotically plugging parts into his latest creation. Matt frowned. Something was definitely off. But if it wasn’t yesterday’s fall, then what?
Ari moved gracefully to her feet. “I’ll get your dad some coffee, okay, Noah? We’ll be right back.” She gave Matt a penetrating stare and gestured for him to join her.
By the time he met her in the kitchen, Matt had finally guessed the problem. “Irene was here, wasn’t she?” He recognized the signs, and they tore him up inside, knowing exactly what Noah was feeling.
Ari pursed her lips. “Yes. I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Noah.”
He swore under his breath. “Tell me what happened.” Every beat of his heart felt like a nail driving deeper.
Closing her eyes briefly, she shook her head. It was the kind of gesture everyone made after Irene descended on them like an atomic bomb. “She brought him Legos, firecrackers, and a trampoline.”
“Firecrackers?” Even for Irene, that was crazy.
“The trampoline is outside. I wouldn’t let him use it, and he’s upset. It’s not child-size, and there’s no net.” She sighed. “But we were getting over that. Until Noah’s mother got a call inviting her to Paris for a fashion show right after they’d made plans to go to the zoo together this afternoon. She had to leave right away to catch her plane, so no zoo.”
