Fearless In Love
Page 54
“This is crazy.” Yet she nipped at his mouth, his chin, every hot, sexy, beautiful part of him she could reach.
He stole her breath with another kiss, backing off only to say, “Tell me you want me as bad as I want you.”
“Please, I need you. So bad.” Not just his touch, his kiss.
She needed all of him.
He trailed his hands over her body, going down on his knees as he bunched the material of her skirt into her hands. “Don’t let go,” he commanded in a super sexy tone that made everything inside her sizzle. Then he breathed on her, warm air that sent sensation spiraling down to her center. “I can’t get enough of you. I can never get enough.”
He pressed kisses to her warm flesh, and her body blossomed for him. He teased her with those kisses, then opened her to his mouth, tonguing her very center. A wild madness took her over. Moaning, she put her hand to the back of his head as he suckled her and sensation rocketed through her. She whimpered, clutching the skirt tightly in one hand, holding him close with the other. Her legs shook with a rush of pleasure. Her skin heated, and she tipped her head back against the wall, eyes closed, savoring without sight, just as she had the night he’d blindfolded her.
As he worshipped her with his mouth, she sucked in a breath, feeling the weight of it in her chest before letting it tremble out. And when he entered her with his fingers, finding that sensitive spot inside, the words spilled out.
“Matt.”
“Please.”
“I love you.”
He held fast to her as her body quaked. He took her higher until she was on the edge, where there was only touch and sensation and the feelings inside her as she came apart, her legs buckling beneath her as she tumbled down into his arms, the little coins jangling.
He pulled her onto his lap. “God, I need you. Now. I don’t care where we are. I need you.”
She wrapped her fists in his lapels, drugged with desire for him. With all her love shining for him. “Yes. Please. Hurry.” She couldn’t wait.
Thank God, he had a condom ready, and when it was on, he held her tightly at the waist. “Take me, Ari, all of me.”
She would take everything. Sliding down, the feel of him filling her all the way to her soul, she moaned, digging her fingers into his arms. “Matt,” she whispered. And then she well and truly took him, moving fast and crazy, wanting it so badly, feeling his answering need in the pulse of his sex inside her. He held her face, brought her mouth to his and drank down her moans. They moved like one body, one soul, one never-ending kiss.
Until the world exploded around them, like fireworks, like rockets, like a solar flare. They held on, drained every ounce of pleasure, their bodies fused, an indelible part of each other.
In a heap on the floor, he held her as her body shuddered with the last tremors of pleasure coursing through her. She lay against him, clutching his tux, keeping him tight against her.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered into her hair. “I love the way you come, like you’re lost to everything but me.”
“I am lost,” she whispered. She had been since the first time she’d seen him with his son. So loving. So sweet.
“I never meant for this to happen.” His words were thick with guilt, and his emotions speared her, sinking even deeper than the first time he’d apologized for taking advantage of her. “The way I felt about you from the moment I saw you. How badly I want you. But I can’t stop myself, Ari.”
“No.” The one word was harsh on her lips. “Don’t tell me you regret anything. That you feel guilty.” She looked him straight in the eyes. “Not now. Not after all we’ve done.”
And not after you know that I love you.
“Ari—”
But she wasn’t finished. “The first time I saw you, I was attracted to you.” She licked her lips, tasting their loving all over again. And not regretting one single second of it. “Just because I didn’t know this would happen, that we would become so close, doesn’t mean I’m not glad that we have.”
“You need to be with someone hopeful. Someone with a good, clean past who’ll never let you down.” His anguish made her whole body ache.
“Matt.” How could she make him understand? “You came out of a bad childhood and had a bad relationship, but you’re still perfect just the way you are. You’ve never let anyone down, not Noah, not me. And you deserve happiness.”
He deserved her.
“More than anything,” he said, “I want you to be happy. But I can’t leave you alone. I had to touch you tonight.”
“I love that. It makes me feel special. You make me feel special.” She couldn’t stand to hear him explain again why he shouldn’t love her. No one could touch her the way he did without huge feelings. Without love. “And I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
“But I haven’t found your brother for you.”
“I—” She stopped. She’d been about to say that she knew he would. Because she believed in him with all her heart. But suddenly she saw that her faith in him was just one more screw tightening the pressure on him to always make things right. And if he couldn’t, he felt as if he’d let down the people he cared about. “I don’t expect you to solve my problems, Matt. You’re doing your best, and that’s all I could ever ask for.” He opened his mouth—likely to refute what she’d said—and she put her fingers over his lips. “My brother will come home. Someday, somehow. I feel it in here.” She put her hand to her heart. “I’m not expecting you to work miracles. But you’ve already done more for me than any other person on earth.”
He pulled her close, holding her tightly for a long moment. She could only hope her words had seeped in, but all he said was, “I shouldn’t keep you in here any longer, or someone will find us. I know you don’t want that.”
Maybe she did want everyone to know. Because it might be the only way Matt would admit his feelings.
No. She sighed, knowing she couldn’t force him. He had to figure it out on his own.
And she needed to be fearless enough to give him the time and space to get there.
“I wish we could stay like this all night,” she said into the warm crook of his neck. “But we should leave.”
Pulling her to her feet, he left her for a moment to step into the small bathroom. His tux was straight when he came back, and he helped her smooth the layers of her skirt and the tinkling coins. Then he ran his fingers through her hair, gently pulling out the tangles he’d made.
He stole her breath with another kiss, backing off only to say, “Tell me you want me as bad as I want you.”
“Please, I need you. So bad.” Not just his touch, his kiss.
She needed all of him.
He trailed his hands over her body, going down on his knees as he bunched the material of her skirt into her hands. “Don’t let go,” he commanded in a super sexy tone that made everything inside her sizzle. Then he breathed on her, warm air that sent sensation spiraling down to her center. “I can’t get enough of you. I can never get enough.”
He pressed kisses to her warm flesh, and her body blossomed for him. He teased her with those kisses, then opened her to his mouth, tonguing her very center. A wild madness took her over. Moaning, she put her hand to the back of his head as he suckled her and sensation rocketed through her. She whimpered, clutching the skirt tightly in one hand, holding him close with the other. Her legs shook with a rush of pleasure. Her skin heated, and she tipped her head back against the wall, eyes closed, savoring without sight, just as she had the night he’d blindfolded her.
As he worshipped her with his mouth, she sucked in a breath, feeling the weight of it in her chest before letting it tremble out. And when he entered her with his fingers, finding that sensitive spot inside, the words spilled out.
“Matt.”
“Please.”
“I love you.”
He held fast to her as her body quaked. He took her higher until she was on the edge, where there was only touch and sensation and the feelings inside her as she came apart, her legs buckling beneath her as she tumbled down into his arms, the little coins jangling.
He pulled her onto his lap. “God, I need you. Now. I don’t care where we are. I need you.”
She wrapped her fists in his lapels, drugged with desire for him. With all her love shining for him. “Yes. Please. Hurry.” She couldn’t wait.
Thank God, he had a condom ready, and when it was on, he held her tightly at the waist. “Take me, Ari, all of me.”
She would take everything. Sliding down, the feel of him filling her all the way to her soul, she moaned, digging her fingers into his arms. “Matt,” she whispered. And then she well and truly took him, moving fast and crazy, wanting it so badly, feeling his answering need in the pulse of his sex inside her. He held her face, brought her mouth to his and drank down her moans. They moved like one body, one soul, one never-ending kiss.
Until the world exploded around them, like fireworks, like rockets, like a solar flare. They held on, drained every ounce of pleasure, their bodies fused, an indelible part of each other.
In a heap on the floor, he held her as her body shuddered with the last tremors of pleasure coursing through her. She lay against him, clutching his tux, keeping him tight against her.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered into her hair. “I love the way you come, like you’re lost to everything but me.”
“I am lost,” she whispered. She had been since the first time she’d seen him with his son. So loving. So sweet.
“I never meant for this to happen.” His words were thick with guilt, and his emotions speared her, sinking even deeper than the first time he’d apologized for taking advantage of her. “The way I felt about you from the moment I saw you. How badly I want you. But I can’t stop myself, Ari.”
“No.” The one word was harsh on her lips. “Don’t tell me you regret anything. That you feel guilty.” She looked him straight in the eyes. “Not now. Not after all we’ve done.”
And not after you know that I love you.
“Ari—”
But she wasn’t finished. “The first time I saw you, I was attracted to you.” She licked her lips, tasting their loving all over again. And not regretting one single second of it. “Just because I didn’t know this would happen, that we would become so close, doesn’t mean I’m not glad that we have.”
“You need to be with someone hopeful. Someone with a good, clean past who’ll never let you down.” His anguish made her whole body ache.
“Matt.” How could she make him understand? “You came out of a bad childhood and had a bad relationship, but you’re still perfect just the way you are. You’ve never let anyone down, not Noah, not me. And you deserve happiness.”
He deserved her.
“More than anything,” he said, “I want you to be happy. But I can’t leave you alone. I had to touch you tonight.”
“I love that. It makes me feel special. You make me feel special.” She couldn’t stand to hear him explain again why he shouldn’t love her. No one could touch her the way he did without huge feelings. Without love. “And I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
“But I haven’t found your brother for you.”
“I—” She stopped. She’d been about to say that she knew he would. Because she believed in him with all her heart. But suddenly she saw that her faith in him was just one more screw tightening the pressure on him to always make things right. And if he couldn’t, he felt as if he’d let down the people he cared about. “I don’t expect you to solve my problems, Matt. You’re doing your best, and that’s all I could ever ask for.” He opened his mouth—likely to refute what she’d said—and she put her fingers over his lips. “My brother will come home. Someday, somehow. I feel it in here.” She put her hand to her heart. “I’m not expecting you to work miracles. But you’ve already done more for me than any other person on earth.”
He pulled her close, holding her tightly for a long moment. She could only hope her words had seeped in, but all he said was, “I shouldn’t keep you in here any longer, or someone will find us. I know you don’t want that.”
Maybe she did want everyone to know. Because it might be the only way Matt would admit his feelings.
No. She sighed, knowing she couldn’t force him. He had to figure it out on his own.
And she needed to be fearless enough to give him the time and space to get there.
“I wish we could stay like this all night,” she said into the warm crook of his neck. “But we should leave.”
Pulling her to her feet, he left her for a moment to step into the small bathroom. His tux was straight when he came back, and he helped her smooth the layers of her skirt and the tinkling coins. Then he ran his fingers through her hair, gently pulling out the tangles he’d made.
