Fearless In Love
Page 58
She loved to cry out for him when he took her to heaven. But not if she woke up his son. “I’ll control myself.” At least she would try. “I meant in the morning, though. How should we handle things if he sees us together?”
“You can just get him up as usual. He doesn’t have to know anything.”
If he wasn’t ready to say he loved her, then of course he wouldn’t tell Noah either. But with every word, the pain dug deeper, no matter how much patience—and the relentless hope—she always strove for.
Hiding her disappointment with a smile, she made herself nod. “All right.”
“I know it’s your day off tomorrow, but will you spend it with us? We’ll do something fun.”
Her day off. It was a potent reminder that she was still the nanny, even if Matt hadn’t meant it that way. “I’d like that.”
He nuzzled her hair. “Good. Now come to my room, Ari. I’m dying to make love to you again.”
Just like that, his sensual commands had her heart thumping and her skin heating. She felt raw on the inside, but heading back to her empty bed tonight wasn’t even in the cards.
Inside his bedroom, Matt closed the door on the rest of the world. Mere seconds later her clothes were gone, his tux was off, and he’d lifted her into his arms, grabbing her up until she locked her ankles at his back. Walking her to the small sofa by the window, he settled her on his lap, and when she pulled up her knees to straddle him, he immediately entered her with his fingers, turning her into a wild animal. She didn’t cry out, but when sounds began to bubble up her throat, she kissed him, spilling her cries into his mouth, knowing she was meant for this.
For Matt.
He miraculously produced protection, always looking out for her even in the heat of the moment, then drove deep, filling her, making her his.
When the earth-shattering climax took them both, they muted their moans of pleasure against each other’s lips, kissing as if it were a vow.
For her, it was.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The Sunday after Halloween, they went to Golden Gate Park. Ari had packed a picnic with Noah’s help—he’d even cut the tomatoes himself. The day was so gorgeous they ate sitting on a blanket that Matt spread on the grass, watching a laughing, giggling Noah chase butterflies.
Matt’s investigator was still searching for her brother, but Ari hadn’t brought up the subject of visiting the families of Gideon’s other fallen comrades. She still stung from their disaster with Mrs. Esterhausen, her stomach plunging with the memory of that day every time she thought of it.
She hadn’t given up—but she needed to be a heck of a lot stronger for the next round. And she knew nothing would get her there faster than being with Matt and Noah.
During the next work week, she followed the usual routine, taking Noah to school, playing with him, teaching him, loving him as if he were her own little boy. They swam in the heated pool and worked on riding his bike. He was almost ready, and she couldn’t wait to find the perfect moment to surprise Matt.
And then there were the nights—the long, delicious hours in Matt’s bed, waking to his touch in the morning, his lips on her skin, his fingers tracing her curves.
Somewhere along the way, she’d stopped praying he would say he loved her. It would happen when he finally believed he didn’t have to be Mr. Perfect in Absolutely Everything. For now, she simply treasured their moments together.
Well, except the early mornings, when she had to sneak out of Matt’s room… She felt like his dirty little secret every time she took her short walk of shame. He would hate to hear her call it that, but in the early rays of light as she made her way back to her room, it seemed the sun through the windows illuminated a truth she didn’t want to see.
* * *
The following Sunday, Charlie and Sebastian showed up from out of the blue in a big white pickup. Noah ran down the front steps and straight into Sebastian’s arms. Matt’s friend swung him round and round until the little boy was laughing and squealing with delight. Seeing Noah’s closeness to the other Mavericks made Ari’s eyes mist.
“We’ve got a surprise for you,” Charlie said, bending down to give Noah a hug after Sebastian finally set him on his feet. She was outfitted in steel-toed boots, overalls, and a flannel shirt.
“What? What?” Noah jumped up, down, and around.
Matt looked on indulgently. With Noah’s hand in hers, Charlie led him to the back of the truck and let down the tailgate. Then she picked him up, setting him in the truck bed to see.
Matt stepped forward, his hands out, as if he were afraid Noah might fall, but Charlie kept her hands steady on him.
Noah uttered a soft, reverent, “Wow.” Then he tipped his head down to Charlie. “What are they?”
“That one is a Stegosaurus.” She pointed to a spiny metal dinosaur with big plates behind its head. It was small enough for Noah to rest his hand on its back, the metal spines rounded so he wouldn’t cut his fingers. “And that’s a Brontosaurus.” With its long neck, Noah would have to reach up to touch its head. “The flying one is a Pterodactyl. Uncle Sebastian brought a chain to hang it from the big oak out by your playground.”
Noah turned to throw his arms around her neck. “Thank you, Aunt Charlie.”
She beamed, and Sebastian slipped his hand beneath the fall of her hair. The gesture was loving, congratulatory, and possessive all at the same time.
It was the way Ari wanted Matt to touch her in front of everyone. As though she was his—and he was proud of it.
“After the costume you wore at the Halloween party, I’ll have to make a mini T-Rex too.” Charlie smiled, the sun lighting her face as she looked up at Noah. Then she scooped the boy from the truck bed and set him on the pavement.
“Charlie, thank you.” Matt put his hand over his heart, as if thanking her from the bottom of it. “Making these must have taken so much time out of your schedule.”
She shrugged beneath Sebastian’s loving touch. “Whenever I needed a break from my other projects, the dinosaurs were a perfect filler.” She beamed up at Sebastian. “A wise man once told me I have to take time out for things that I feel a passion for.”
“Sage advice,” Matt agreed.
“And since Charlie’s also finished her monster T-Rex, we’re having an unveiling at the barbecue this afternoon.”
“You can just get him up as usual. He doesn’t have to know anything.”
If he wasn’t ready to say he loved her, then of course he wouldn’t tell Noah either. But with every word, the pain dug deeper, no matter how much patience—and the relentless hope—she always strove for.
Hiding her disappointment with a smile, she made herself nod. “All right.”
“I know it’s your day off tomorrow, but will you spend it with us? We’ll do something fun.”
Her day off. It was a potent reminder that she was still the nanny, even if Matt hadn’t meant it that way. “I’d like that.”
He nuzzled her hair. “Good. Now come to my room, Ari. I’m dying to make love to you again.”
Just like that, his sensual commands had her heart thumping and her skin heating. She felt raw on the inside, but heading back to her empty bed tonight wasn’t even in the cards.
Inside his bedroom, Matt closed the door on the rest of the world. Mere seconds later her clothes were gone, his tux was off, and he’d lifted her into his arms, grabbing her up until she locked her ankles at his back. Walking her to the small sofa by the window, he settled her on his lap, and when she pulled up her knees to straddle him, he immediately entered her with his fingers, turning her into a wild animal. She didn’t cry out, but when sounds began to bubble up her throat, she kissed him, spilling her cries into his mouth, knowing she was meant for this.
For Matt.
He miraculously produced protection, always looking out for her even in the heat of the moment, then drove deep, filling her, making her his.
When the earth-shattering climax took them both, they muted their moans of pleasure against each other’s lips, kissing as if it were a vow.
For her, it was.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The Sunday after Halloween, they went to Golden Gate Park. Ari had packed a picnic with Noah’s help—he’d even cut the tomatoes himself. The day was so gorgeous they ate sitting on a blanket that Matt spread on the grass, watching a laughing, giggling Noah chase butterflies.
Matt’s investigator was still searching for her brother, but Ari hadn’t brought up the subject of visiting the families of Gideon’s other fallen comrades. She still stung from their disaster with Mrs. Esterhausen, her stomach plunging with the memory of that day every time she thought of it.
She hadn’t given up—but she needed to be a heck of a lot stronger for the next round. And she knew nothing would get her there faster than being with Matt and Noah.
During the next work week, she followed the usual routine, taking Noah to school, playing with him, teaching him, loving him as if he were her own little boy. They swam in the heated pool and worked on riding his bike. He was almost ready, and she couldn’t wait to find the perfect moment to surprise Matt.
And then there were the nights—the long, delicious hours in Matt’s bed, waking to his touch in the morning, his lips on her skin, his fingers tracing her curves.
Somewhere along the way, she’d stopped praying he would say he loved her. It would happen when he finally believed he didn’t have to be Mr. Perfect in Absolutely Everything. For now, she simply treasured their moments together.
Well, except the early mornings, when she had to sneak out of Matt’s room… She felt like his dirty little secret every time she took her short walk of shame. He would hate to hear her call it that, but in the early rays of light as she made her way back to her room, it seemed the sun through the windows illuminated a truth she didn’t want to see.
* * *
The following Sunday, Charlie and Sebastian showed up from out of the blue in a big white pickup. Noah ran down the front steps and straight into Sebastian’s arms. Matt’s friend swung him round and round until the little boy was laughing and squealing with delight. Seeing Noah’s closeness to the other Mavericks made Ari’s eyes mist.
“We’ve got a surprise for you,” Charlie said, bending down to give Noah a hug after Sebastian finally set him on his feet. She was outfitted in steel-toed boots, overalls, and a flannel shirt.
“What? What?” Noah jumped up, down, and around.
Matt looked on indulgently. With Noah’s hand in hers, Charlie led him to the back of the truck and let down the tailgate. Then she picked him up, setting him in the truck bed to see.
Matt stepped forward, his hands out, as if he were afraid Noah might fall, but Charlie kept her hands steady on him.
Noah uttered a soft, reverent, “Wow.” Then he tipped his head down to Charlie. “What are they?”
“That one is a Stegosaurus.” She pointed to a spiny metal dinosaur with big plates behind its head. It was small enough for Noah to rest his hand on its back, the metal spines rounded so he wouldn’t cut his fingers. “And that’s a Brontosaurus.” With its long neck, Noah would have to reach up to touch its head. “The flying one is a Pterodactyl. Uncle Sebastian brought a chain to hang it from the big oak out by your playground.”
Noah turned to throw his arms around her neck. “Thank you, Aunt Charlie.”
She beamed, and Sebastian slipped his hand beneath the fall of her hair. The gesture was loving, congratulatory, and possessive all at the same time.
It was the way Ari wanted Matt to touch her in front of everyone. As though she was his—and he was proud of it.
“After the costume you wore at the Halloween party, I’ll have to make a mini T-Rex too.” Charlie smiled, the sun lighting her face as she looked up at Noah. Then she scooped the boy from the truck bed and set him on the pavement.
“Charlie, thank you.” Matt put his hand over his heart, as if thanking her from the bottom of it. “Making these must have taken so much time out of your schedule.”
She shrugged beneath Sebastian’s loving touch. “Whenever I needed a break from my other projects, the dinosaurs were a perfect filler.” She beamed up at Sebastian. “A wise man once told me I have to take time out for things that I feel a passion for.”
“Sage advice,” Matt agreed.
“And since Charlie’s also finished her monster T-Rex, we’re having an unveiling at the barbecue this afternoon.”
