Fearless In Love
Page 68
“How did you find me?”
Gideon reached into his pocket and pulled out a letter, stained, wrinkled, and smoothed flat again over and over. He slid the worn envelope across the table. The postmark was two years old. She didn’t remember the address, but it was probably one she’d scratched off her list when she never heard back.
“I move around a lot.” He stared at the letter. “Your letter finally caught up with me a year ago.”
“A year ago?” She was thankful for Matt’s warm grip and his big presence beside her. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I’m sorry, Ari.”
Gideon watched her with those washed-out eyes. They weren’t the eyes of the boy she remembered. He was bigger than her memory, and still handsome. But he was also…distant was the only word she could find for it. Like a shadow.
Instead of answering her question, he asked, “How did you two meet?”
“I hired Ari to take care of my son, Noah.” Matt explained that she’d been his nanny without even the slightest hint of shame, then brought their linked hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Your sister has grown into a wonderful woman while you were gone. I’ve been helping her look for you.”
She forced herself to push away the ache of knowing Gideon had waited a year to come home. “What have you been doing? Where have you been?”
“I worked mostly construction since I got out.” Gideon drank again, then set his cup back on the table. “Moving around a lot. I did a stint up in Alaska for a while.” He laughed softly but not happily. “I’m a drifter.”
“But you’re home now.” It suddenly hit her. “Are you staying? Or will you be moving on?”
“I’m not sure.” Gideon wrapped both hands around his mug as if he needed the heat.
“You’re welcome to stay with us,” Matt said. And it was clear to Ari that he meant it.
When Gideon didn’t respond—didn’t give any hint of whether he’d take Matt up on his offer—the dam Ari had tried to build around her questions finally burst.
“Why? Tell me why you didn’t come if you’ve known where I was for the past year?” Matt squeezed her hand, as she said, “I needed you, Gideon. You’re my brother. The only family I have left.”
He drew in a deep breath, looked toward the ceiling, then finally back to Ari. “I went into the military to help save you, but before I knew it, you were gone. I couldn’t find either of you. Then I heard Mom was dead. When I still couldn’t find you, I knew I’d failed you completely.” Tentatively, he reached across the table. Ari immediately put her hand in his, swearing she felt the pain in his heart as he clasped it. “When I got your letter, I just couldn’t face you. You deserve better than a brother like me.”
A fist bunched around her heart, so tightly she felt tears rising to her eyes. She was holding on to both of them now, Matt and Gideon. Nothing else mattered.
“You didn’t fail me. And you’re here now. That’s all that counts.” The hope she’d held on to for so long had finally turned into reality. Still, she needed to know, “What changed?”
“The job I was working out in Colorado ended a couple of weeks ago. When I was packing up my bag, I found your letter tucked in a pocket.” He shook his head. “I missed you so damned much, but I thought you’d be better off without me. So I called a lady I sometimes keep in touch with—someone I thought might understand. She told me you’d been there.”
“Mrs. Sanchez,” Ari guessed. “Karmen’s mother.”
“Yeah.” He slipped inside himself for a moment, probably thinking about Karmen and remembering his guilt at losing someone else he’d cared for deeply. Feeling the pain all over again. “That was when I knew I needed to see you. Face to face, so that you could tell me to go if that’s what you wanted.”
It was exactly what Ari had said to herself about Matt. Face-to-face. Nothing else would do. She and her brother might have been born years apart, and lost to each other for far too long, but they were still so similar.
She squeezed his hand. “I’m so glad you came home. And I want you to stay.” She turned to Matt. “You swore you’d find my brother. If you hadn’t taken me down to see Mrs. Sanchez, he might never have decided it was the right time.” She pressed her lips to his. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said without hesitation, even in front of Gideon.
At long last, she had everything she’d ever wanted: her brother back home…and the most wonderful man in the world to love and be loved by.
* * *
The look on Ari’s face when she saw her brother compared only to the moment Matt had first laid eyes on his son. Her happiness was his happiness.
They’d picked up Noah at Sebastian’s without the fanfare of introducing Gideon or telling the Mavericks about their engagement. In Matt’s mind, it was only fair to tell Noah first, preparing him for the changes without an audience.
“Ari’s coming back for good.” Matt held his son on his lap as he gave him the good news.
“Yay!” Noah threw his arms around Ari. “You’re still going to be my nanny!”
“She’s going to be more than your nanny,” Matt clarified. “She’s going to marry me and be my wife and your stepmother.”
Noah’s eyes grew so big they nearly popped out of his head as he looked between Matt and Ari. “Can I call you Mommy?”
Tears streamed down her face as she nodded. “Yes, sweetie, I’d love for you to call me Mommy.”
After Noah was finally in bed, Matt, Ari, and Gideon talked long into the evening. They heard about Gideon’s travels; he’d been to just about every state in the US. But he didn’t discuss the war or his tours in the Middle East. And he didn’t talk about Karmen Sanchez or Esterhausen or his dead comrades either.
Matt gave Gideon a guest suite on the opposite end of the hall, and when his door closed at last, it was finally Matt’s turn to be alone with Ari. He climbed the stairs to their bedroom, carrying two glasses of champagne.
Their bedroom. He loved the sound of that.
When he opened the door, the room was redolent with the scent of her lavender bath salts. How many times had he dreamed of this, watching her in the tub, all her satiny skin naked beneath the bubbling waters?
Gideon reached into his pocket and pulled out a letter, stained, wrinkled, and smoothed flat again over and over. He slid the worn envelope across the table. The postmark was two years old. She didn’t remember the address, but it was probably one she’d scratched off her list when she never heard back.
“I move around a lot.” He stared at the letter. “Your letter finally caught up with me a year ago.”
“A year ago?” She was thankful for Matt’s warm grip and his big presence beside her. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I’m sorry, Ari.”
Gideon watched her with those washed-out eyes. They weren’t the eyes of the boy she remembered. He was bigger than her memory, and still handsome. But he was also…distant was the only word she could find for it. Like a shadow.
Instead of answering her question, he asked, “How did you two meet?”
“I hired Ari to take care of my son, Noah.” Matt explained that she’d been his nanny without even the slightest hint of shame, then brought their linked hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Your sister has grown into a wonderful woman while you were gone. I’ve been helping her look for you.”
She forced herself to push away the ache of knowing Gideon had waited a year to come home. “What have you been doing? Where have you been?”
“I worked mostly construction since I got out.” Gideon drank again, then set his cup back on the table. “Moving around a lot. I did a stint up in Alaska for a while.” He laughed softly but not happily. “I’m a drifter.”
“But you’re home now.” It suddenly hit her. “Are you staying? Or will you be moving on?”
“I’m not sure.” Gideon wrapped both hands around his mug as if he needed the heat.
“You’re welcome to stay with us,” Matt said. And it was clear to Ari that he meant it.
When Gideon didn’t respond—didn’t give any hint of whether he’d take Matt up on his offer—the dam Ari had tried to build around her questions finally burst.
“Why? Tell me why you didn’t come if you’ve known where I was for the past year?” Matt squeezed her hand, as she said, “I needed you, Gideon. You’re my brother. The only family I have left.”
He drew in a deep breath, looked toward the ceiling, then finally back to Ari. “I went into the military to help save you, but before I knew it, you were gone. I couldn’t find either of you. Then I heard Mom was dead. When I still couldn’t find you, I knew I’d failed you completely.” Tentatively, he reached across the table. Ari immediately put her hand in his, swearing she felt the pain in his heart as he clasped it. “When I got your letter, I just couldn’t face you. You deserve better than a brother like me.”
A fist bunched around her heart, so tightly she felt tears rising to her eyes. She was holding on to both of them now, Matt and Gideon. Nothing else mattered.
“You didn’t fail me. And you’re here now. That’s all that counts.” The hope she’d held on to for so long had finally turned into reality. Still, she needed to know, “What changed?”
“The job I was working out in Colorado ended a couple of weeks ago. When I was packing up my bag, I found your letter tucked in a pocket.” He shook his head. “I missed you so damned much, but I thought you’d be better off without me. So I called a lady I sometimes keep in touch with—someone I thought might understand. She told me you’d been there.”
“Mrs. Sanchez,” Ari guessed. “Karmen’s mother.”
“Yeah.” He slipped inside himself for a moment, probably thinking about Karmen and remembering his guilt at losing someone else he’d cared for deeply. Feeling the pain all over again. “That was when I knew I needed to see you. Face to face, so that you could tell me to go if that’s what you wanted.”
It was exactly what Ari had said to herself about Matt. Face-to-face. Nothing else would do. She and her brother might have been born years apart, and lost to each other for far too long, but they were still so similar.
She squeezed his hand. “I’m so glad you came home. And I want you to stay.” She turned to Matt. “You swore you’d find my brother. If you hadn’t taken me down to see Mrs. Sanchez, he might never have decided it was the right time.” She pressed her lips to his. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said without hesitation, even in front of Gideon.
At long last, she had everything she’d ever wanted: her brother back home…and the most wonderful man in the world to love and be loved by.
* * *
The look on Ari’s face when she saw her brother compared only to the moment Matt had first laid eyes on his son. Her happiness was his happiness.
They’d picked up Noah at Sebastian’s without the fanfare of introducing Gideon or telling the Mavericks about their engagement. In Matt’s mind, it was only fair to tell Noah first, preparing him for the changes without an audience.
“Ari’s coming back for good.” Matt held his son on his lap as he gave him the good news.
“Yay!” Noah threw his arms around Ari. “You’re still going to be my nanny!”
“She’s going to be more than your nanny,” Matt clarified. “She’s going to marry me and be my wife and your stepmother.”
Noah’s eyes grew so big they nearly popped out of his head as he looked between Matt and Ari. “Can I call you Mommy?”
Tears streamed down her face as she nodded. “Yes, sweetie, I’d love for you to call me Mommy.”
After Noah was finally in bed, Matt, Ari, and Gideon talked long into the evening. They heard about Gideon’s travels; he’d been to just about every state in the US. But he didn’t discuss the war or his tours in the Middle East. And he didn’t talk about Karmen Sanchez or Esterhausen or his dead comrades either.
Matt gave Gideon a guest suite on the opposite end of the hall, and when his door closed at last, it was finally Matt’s turn to be alone with Ari. He climbed the stairs to their bedroom, carrying two glasses of champagne.
Their bedroom. He loved the sound of that.
When he opened the door, the room was redolent with the scent of her lavender bath salts. How many times had he dreamed of this, watching her in the tub, all her satiny skin naked beneath the bubbling waters?
