Feverborn
Page 62
Run, hide, draw your spear. But I was able to do none of those things. Gripped by panic, I prayed the walking refuse/guts pile never noticed me, and I didn’t even know why.
Only that I wanted to pass beyond this thing’s regard forever.
I stood, not breathing, not sure I could breathe again if it chose to remain in close proximity, while it clattered past my own junk heap, which I’d created that afternoon, rattling like an ancient, badly made machine.
I had no idea if it was alive or fabricated, sentient or programmed. Only that if it had purpose—it was one I never wanted to know.
I gasped softly, finally managing a breath.
Still, I stood motionless in the doorway, trying to shake off the body-numbing terror, until at last it disappeared and my Hunter arrived.
Part III
I shiver. What I need to see is right here in front of me. I can feel it. I’m just not looking with the right eyes, the clear eyes that suffer no conflicts. I need a brain like mine and eyes like Ryodan’s. I focus on the backs of my lids, take the grayness of them and cocoon it around me. I make a bland womb where I can begin the process of erasing myself, detaching from the world; the one where I exist and I’m part of reality and everything I see is colored by my thoughts and feelings. I strip away all that I know about myself and sink into a quiet cavern in my head where there is no corporeality. And no pain.
—From the journals of Dani “the Mega” O’Malley
I know that no matter what fecked-up things Ryodan does, he’ll never forget me. He’s meticulous. There’s a lot to be said for detail-oriented. ’Least in my world there is. Especially when I’m one of the details.
—From the journals of Dani “the Mega” O’Malley
21
“All my tears have been used up on another love…”
THE JADA JOURNAL
August 5 AWC
NEW DUBLINERS BEWARE!
The Hoar Frost King—the Unseelie that recently iced Dublin and froze people to death—left areas of great danger in our city. These spots appear to be round black spheres, suspended in the air, anywhere from five to twenty feet above the ground.
THEY ARE LETHAL!
Do NOT TOUCH the spheres or disturb them in any way.
The Guardians have been cordoning them off to keep you safe. If you see one of these black spheres that hasn’t been cordoned off please
REPORT IT to the Guardians at DUBLIN CASTLE.
These spheres will GROW if you toss anything in,
and pose a GRAVE THREAT to our world if they get bigger.
PROTECT YOURSELVES. PROTECT OUR WORLD.
If you see one near
STEER CLEAR OF THE SPHERE!
Dancer grinned. “I especially like the last part. Nice rhyme.”
Jada was far from pleased with the paper. “They ‘appear to be round black spheres’? How much more redundant could that be? A sphere is round.”
“Some folks don’t think like that, Jada. You know you have to spoon-feed when conveying information to the masses. Keep it simple, stupid.”
She shot him a cool look.
“I’m not saying you’re stupid. Christ, Mega. We both know your brain weighs more than your whole head.”
“A logistical impossibility.”
“Not with you. Your brain probably exists in a higher dimension than your body. I think the paper’s perfect. It communicates exactly what we want to get across in the simplest possible terms. Now freeze-frame me around like you used to so we can slap these things up. It’ll be like old times.” He arched a brow. “A month ago for me.”
Old times. It was difficult for her to wrap her brain around the fact that she’d lived so much life while he’d lived so little.
“I’ll put them up and be back soon.”
“Don’t do that to me,” Dancer said coolly. “Once, you deposited me on the sidelines at the abbey, the night we battled the HFK. Then you got deposited. You know how it feels. We’re a team. Even if I’m only fucking human, I’ve proved useful many times.”
She looked at him sharply. There was someone much older than a seventeen-year-old in his eyes. “You’re…less indestructible than I am. We need your mind on the black hole problem.”
“So, you want to park me somewhere to guarantee free access to my brain? Get a clue: ‘only fucking humans’ have been going to war for this world since the dawn of time. You’re not the only one that can make a difference. Your attitude invalidates the efforts of every military man and woman on this planet.”
“You could die. Exposing you to risk is illogical.”
“We all can. Any time, Mega. Shit happens.” He looked at her levelly, with those brilliant aqua eyes. “Bugger it, my whole family’s gone and we both know it. You think you’re the only one left with something to prove, something worth putting your life on the line for? If we don’t work together, I work alone. But I work.” He gave her a faintly bitter smile. “With or without you. Look at it this way, if you keep me close, you have a better chance of keeping me alive. If you don’t, who knows what danger I could get myself into?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t.”
“You sound just like him.”
“Not necessarily a bad thing all the time,” Dancer said, intuiting exactly who she meant: Ryodan.
“Trying to rope me—”
“Bloody hell, Jada, I’m not trying to rope you. I’m trying to work with you. Leave it to you to decide someone helping is a hindrance or a cage.”
Only that I wanted to pass beyond this thing’s regard forever.
I stood, not breathing, not sure I could breathe again if it chose to remain in close proximity, while it clattered past my own junk heap, which I’d created that afternoon, rattling like an ancient, badly made machine.
I had no idea if it was alive or fabricated, sentient or programmed. Only that if it had purpose—it was one I never wanted to know.
I gasped softly, finally managing a breath.
Still, I stood motionless in the doorway, trying to shake off the body-numbing terror, until at last it disappeared and my Hunter arrived.
Part III
I shiver. What I need to see is right here in front of me. I can feel it. I’m just not looking with the right eyes, the clear eyes that suffer no conflicts. I need a brain like mine and eyes like Ryodan’s. I focus on the backs of my lids, take the grayness of them and cocoon it around me. I make a bland womb where I can begin the process of erasing myself, detaching from the world; the one where I exist and I’m part of reality and everything I see is colored by my thoughts and feelings. I strip away all that I know about myself and sink into a quiet cavern in my head where there is no corporeality. And no pain.
—From the journals of Dani “the Mega” O’Malley
I know that no matter what fecked-up things Ryodan does, he’ll never forget me. He’s meticulous. There’s a lot to be said for detail-oriented. ’Least in my world there is. Especially when I’m one of the details.
—From the journals of Dani “the Mega” O’Malley
21
“All my tears have been used up on another love…”
THE JADA JOURNAL
August 5 AWC
NEW DUBLINERS BEWARE!
The Hoar Frost King—the Unseelie that recently iced Dublin and froze people to death—left areas of great danger in our city. These spots appear to be round black spheres, suspended in the air, anywhere from five to twenty feet above the ground.
THEY ARE LETHAL!
Do NOT TOUCH the spheres or disturb them in any way.
The Guardians have been cordoning them off to keep you safe. If you see one of these black spheres that hasn’t been cordoned off please
REPORT IT to the Guardians at DUBLIN CASTLE.
These spheres will GROW if you toss anything in,
and pose a GRAVE THREAT to our world if they get bigger.
PROTECT YOURSELVES. PROTECT OUR WORLD.
If you see one near
STEER CLEAR OF THE SPHERE!
Dancer grinned. “I especially like the last part. Nice rhyme.”
Jada was far from pleased with the paper. “They ‘appear to be round black spheres’? How much more redundant could that be? A sphere is round.”
“Some folks don’t think like that, Jada. You know you have to spoon-feed when conveying information to the masses. Keep it simple, stupid.”
She shot him a cool look.
“I’m not saying you’re stupid. Christ, Mega. We both know your brain weighs more than your whole head.”
“A logistical impossibility.”
“Not with you. Your brain probably exists in a higher dimension than your body. I think the paper’s perfect. It communicates exactly what we want to get across in the simplest possible terms. Now freeze-frame me around like you used to so we can slap these things up. It’ll be like old times.” He arched a brow. “A month ago for me.”
Old times. It was difficult for her to wrap her brain around the fact that she’d lived so much life while he’d lived so little.
“I’ll put them up and be back soon.”
“Don’t do that to me,” Dancer said coolly. “Once, you deposited me on the sidelines at the abbey, the night we battled the HFK. Then you got deposited. You know how it feels. We’re a team. Even if I’m only fucking human, I’ve proved useful many times.”
She looked at him sharply. There was someone much older than a seventeen-year-old in his eyes. “You’re…less indestructible than I am. We need your mind on the black hole problem.”
“So, you want to park me somewhere to guarantee free access to my brain? Get a clue: ‘only fucking humans’ have been going to war for this world since the dawn of time. You’re not the only one that can make a difference. Your attitude invalidates the efforts of every military man and woman on this planet.”
“You could die. Exposing you to risk is illogical.”
“We all can. Any time, Mega. Shit happens.” He looked at her levelly, with those brilliant aqua eyes. “Bugger it, my whole family’s gone and we both know it. You think you’re the only one left with something to prove, something worth putting your life on the line for? If we don’t work together, I work alone. But I work.” He gave her a faintly bitter smile. “With or without you. Look at it this way, if you keep me close, you have a better chance of keeping me alive. If you don’t, who knows what danger I could get myself into?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t.”
“You sound just like him.”
“Not necessarily a bad thing all the time,” Dancer said, intuiting exactly who she meant: Ryodan.
“Trying to rope me—”
“Bloody hell, Jada, I’m not trying to rope you. I’m trying to work with you. Leave it to you to decide someone helping is a hindrance or a cage.”
