Fighting to Be Free
Page 118
“And she had an excellent teacher,” my mom added, smiling down at me nervously. She looked away quickly, putting the photo inside a t-shirt so that it wouldn’t get damaged or creased by anything during the flight. “So, are you excited?” she asked.
I grinned. Excited didn’t quite cover everything that I felt about this trip. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna sleep tonight,” I admitted.
“Me either,” she muttered. She looked at me then with teary eyes, but she was fighting the emotion as best she could, she obviously didn’t want to show me she was upset. “I’m going to miss you, Ellison. But I know you’ll have a great time with Jamie. He’s…. well, he’s good for you. I know I’ve been down on him a lot in the past, and that’s my problem, not yours. But I want you to know that I…. I like him,” she admitted, nodding. A single tear fell down her face as she spoke and she quickly swiped it away as if she was ashamed of it or something.
The lump in my throat got bigger as I tried to think of something to say to that, but no words were coming to me, so instead I reached out and placed my hand over hers on top of the shirt that she was putting in the case. I squeezed her hand softly and she looked at our hands, almost seeming confused, before she moved it slightly and squeezed my fingers back. It was nice. Probably the nicest moment I’d ever had with my mother in my whole eighteen years of life.
She cleared her throat then and moved her hand away, obviously uncomfortable with the intimacy and I knew the moment was over, but it was already ingrained in my memory, nothing was making me forget that. “You’re really taking these shorts, Ellison? Look at the state of them,” she stated, holding up a pair of worn old jean shorts that I’d loved to death. “You’ll look like a homeless person, really, they’re disgusting! No daughter of mine is walking around in shorts with a grass stain on the rear of them.”
I grinned - we were back to normal.
As I watched her throw them in the trash in a stunning three point throw that would have made my dad and Jamie cheer in congratulations, I realised that I was actually going to miss her.
Chapter 25
I breathed a little sigh of relief and watched her back as she walked out of my apartment. What had transpired in the last two hours had been terrifying. I felt so vulnerable; it was awful having to relive all of that again. That was the first time I’d ever let any of that stuff out, no one knew most of that, not even my mother. I’d never wanted to talk about it before, always supressed it, pushed it down and tried to bury it, but right now, after telling all of that to her, I kind of felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I guess that saying is true, a problem shared really is a problem halved.
Ellie was probably the last person that I wanted to know my deepest darkest secrets, but now that she knew it was almost like it had brought us closer. The acceptance, the understanding, the support and unconditional love from her just blew my mind. The strength of Ellie’s character was something that left me in awe of her, I silently prayed that she never stopped looking at me the way she did because I wasn’t sure how I would cope without her - hopefully I’d never have to find out. My love for her was terrifying; she literally was the most important thing to me in the world. The only wish I had was that my little sister was alive to meet her too, because I know she would have idolised her like I do.
When the door closed, leaving me on my own again, I realised that I was going to have to hurry if I didn’t want to be late. I headed into my bedroom, zipping up my suitcase that I’d had packed for almost two weeks. I guess I was a little overeager to start my new life with her. I smiled as I lifted it off of the bed and put it by the door so I could grab it easily tomorrow when I had to go pick her up for the airport.
All I’d left unpacked in my apartment was the stuff that was here when I moved in, and a change of clothes for tomorrow. The most important things were sitting on my bedside cabinet. My passport being one of the two ‘must not forget’ items. Ellie had the tickets because she liked to coo over them before she went to sleep, so I didn’t have to worry about forgetting those. The other essential item I picked up and rolled around in the palms of my hands. The little black ring box containing the engagement ring that I’d bought for Ellie. I smiled to myself. It was going to be a complete surprise for her, she had no idea - at least, I hoped she didn’t anyway. I’d already asked her dad’s permission on the sly, and thankfully he’d agreed provided we had a fairly long engagement. So, as soon as I found a nice little romantic spot in Rome, I was getting on one knee. Hopefully she’d say yes. After what had just transpired between us, I was pretty confident that she wouldn’t turn me down.
Just for good measure, I checked the ring for the hundredth time. Opening the box, I looked down at the ring that I’d spent hours choosing. I was very happy with my choice, and I had every faith that she’d love it, hell, it could be a crackerjack prize and Ellie probably wouldn’t love it any less. I’d plumped for a white gold band instead of the usual yellow gold. Ellie wasn’t really a gold person, she liked silver, but I didn’t want to get her a silver ring, so white gold was as close as I could get.
The princess cut diamond caught the light as I moved it, and I couldn’t help but smile as I imagined it glistening like that on her finger instead of the box.
I really needed to go now, I couldn’t procrastinate any longer. Snapping the box closed, I winced when I realised that she could have seen that earlier and ruined the surprise. I’d just casually suggested that she sleep in here, and the whole time that ring was sat on the side plain as day. I guess it was my lucky day today.
I grinned. Excited didn’t quite cover everything that I felt about this trip. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna sleep tonight,” I admitted.
“Me either,” she muttered. She looked at me then with teary eyes, but she was fighting the emotion as best she could, she obviously didn’t want to show me she was upset. “I’m going to miss you, Ellison. But I know you’ll have a great time with Jamie. He’s…. well, he’s good for you. I know I’ve been down on him a lot in the past, and that’s my problem, not yours. But I want you to know that I…. I like him,” she admitted, nodding. A single tear fell down her face as she spoke and she quickly swiped it away as if she was ashamed of it or something.
The lump in my throat got bigger as I tried to think of something to say to that, but no words were coming to me, so instead I reached out and placed my hand over hers on top of the shirt that she was putting in the case. I squeezed her hand softly and she looked at our hands, almost seeming confused, before she moved it slightly and squeezed my fingers back. It was nice. Probably the nicest moment I’d ever had with my mother in my whole eighteen years of life.
She cleared her throat then and moved her hand away, obviously uncomfortable with the intimacy and I knew the moment was over, but it was already ingrained in my memory, nothing was making me forget that. “You’re really taking these shorts, Ellison? Look at the state of them,” she stated, holding up a pair of worn old jean shorts that I’d loved to death. “You’ll look like a homeless person, really, they’re disgusting! No daughter of mine is walking around in shorts with a grass stain on the rear of them.”
I grinned - we were back to normal.
As I watched her throw them in the trash in a stunning three point throw that would have made my dad and Jamie cheer in congratulations, I realised that I was actually going to miss her.
Chapter 25
I breathed a little sigh of relief and watched her back as she walked out of my apartment. What had transpired in the last two hours had been terrifying. I felt so vulnerable; it was awful having to relive all of that again. That was the first time I’d ever let any of that stuff out, no one knew most of that, not even my mother. I’d never wanted to talk about it before, always supressed it, pushed it down and tried to bury it, but right now, after telling all of that to her, I kind of felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I guess that saying is true, a problem shared really is a problem halved.
Ellie was probably the last person that I wanted to know my deepest darkest secrets, but now that she knew it was almost like it had brought us closer. The acceptance, the understanding, the support and unconditional love from her just blew my mind. The strength of Ellie’s character was something that left me in awe of her, I silently prayed that she never stopped looking at me the way she did because I wasn’t sure how I would cope without her - hopefully I’d never have to find out. My love for her was terrifying; she literally was the most important thing to me in the world. The only wish I had was that my little sister was alive to meet her too, because I know she would have idolised her like I do.
When the door closed, leaving me on my own again, I realised that I was going to have to hurry if I didn’t want to be late. I headed into my bedroom, zipping up my suitcase that I’d had packed for almost two weeks. I guess I was a little overeager to start my new life with her. I smiled as I lifted it off of the bed and put it by the door so I could grab it easily tomorrow when I had to go pick her up for the airport.
All I’d left unpacked in my apartment was the stuff that was here when I moved in, and a change of clothes for tomorrow. The most important things were sitting on my bedside cabinet. My passport being one of the two ‘must not forget’ items. Ellie had the tickets because she liked to coo over them before she went to sleep, so I didn’t have to worry about forgetting those. The other essential item I picked up and rolled around in the palms of my hands. The little black ring box containing the engagement ring that I’d bought for Ellie. I smiled to myself. It was going to be a complete surprise for her, she had no idea - at least, I hoped she didn’t anyway. I’d already asked her dad’s permission on the sly, and thankfully he’d agreed provided we had a fairly long engagement. So, as soon as I found a nice little romantic spot in Rome, I was getting on one knee. Hopefully she’d say yes. After what had just transpired between us, I was pretty confident that she wouldn’t turn me down.
Just for good measure, I checked the ring for the hundredth time. Opening the box, I looked down at the ring that I’d spent hours choosing. I was very happy with my choice, and I had every faith that she’d love it, hell, it could be a crackerjack prize and Ellie probably wouldn’t love it any less. I’d plumped for a white gold band instead of the usual yellow gold. Ellie wasn’t really a gold person, she liked silver, but I didn’t want to get her a silver ring, so white gold was as close as I could get.
The princess cut diamond caught the light as I moved it, and I couldn’t help but smile as I imagined it glistening like that on her finger instead of the box.
I really needed to go now, I couldn’t procrastinate any longer. Snapping the box closed, I winced when I realised that she could have seen that earlier and ruined the surprise. I’d just casually suggested that she sleep in here, and the whole time that ring was sat on the side plain as day. I guess it was my lucky day today.
