Fighting to Be Free
Page 93
“I stopped. I was out of it. I’d given it all up before we met; I was going straight, but….” I trailed off, not knowing how to convey that I didn’t want to be this person anymore, that I wanted better for myself than this life I was sinking into.
She swiped at her face quickly with the back of her hand. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the tears that I knew I had put there. I hated myself for making her cry and I would never forgive myself for it.
“What happened? You said you didn’t have a choice,” she asked.
I shook my head fiercely. “I didn’t have a choice. My stupid mother, she…. she borrowed some money from some bad people and couldn’t pay it back. I had to help her out,” I explained. “But I couldn’t afford it either, it was so much money, I didn’t have it. I had to go back to my old boss and ask him for a job or two so that I could help my mom. The people that she borrowed from, they’re not exactly a normal lending back. If I hadn’t done this then they would have killed her eventually for sure.”
She gulped; her was breathing quickening the more I spoke. Silently I wondered if she was going to hyperventilate or go into shock or something.
“So you had to do this to get money for your mom?” she asked quietly.
I nodded. “I’ve just finished paying off her debt now but Brett, my boss, he wouldn’t let me just do a couple of jobs, I had to agree to work for him for a certain amount of time. I agreed to do it for three months, I have just under two left.”
“Three months of stealing cars?”
“Among other things,” I agreed, not wanting to lie to her anymore.
“Like what other things? What else have you been doing, Jamie?” she asked, frowning.
I took it as a good sign that she was still sitting next to me, asking questions. Wouldn’t she have run by now if she was going to? “Lots of things that I don’t want to tell you about, Ellie. It’s best if you don’t know in case anything bad happens because of it.”
She snorted at my answer. “Anything bad, like being wanted for gross theft auto?” she snapped.
“Grand theft auto,” I corrected, laughing at her innocence. She glared at me and I felt my laugh die out immediately, now was not really the time to be laughing at her. “Sorry,” I muttered, shaking my head at myself and how stupid I was sometimes.
She groaned and put her head in her hands. “I knew you had a bad past but that you didn’t want to talk about it. I knew that something bad had happened to you but I never suspected that you were in a damn car stealing gang,” she hissed.
“Ellie, I’m so sorry. I-” I started, but she cut me off.
“What do you want me to do?” she interjected.
I felt my mouth drop open in shock as my pulse quickened. Was she being serious right now? She was just accepting my past, just like that?
“Brett said we needed to get alibis. One of my crew got in an accident tonight while we were on a boost and the police will be asking questions about the car soon. Everything should be fine, Brett will take care of him and get him out, but just in case one of us gets linked to him, we need a backup plan that’s not connected to anything illegal. You’re the only one I have,” I replied, hating to put this pressure on her.
She nodded, picking up a stone and rolling it around in her hands as I spoke. “So you want me to say I was with you tonight, right?” she clarified.
I nodded, gulping because this unbelievable girl was willing to help me like that.
“My parents were with me tonight. They went to bed just after ten. I could say that I snuck you in after they went to bed so that you could wake up with me on my birthday. Is that good enough?” she asked looking at me worriedly.
“Ellie, why would you do that? You’re going to get in trouble with your parents in the morning when they see me. Why would you do that for me?” I asked, just needing to know the answer.
She stood up, dropping the stone at her bare feet, turning to face me. Her eyes locked onto mine and I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle because of the intensity of it.
“Because I love you, Jamie,” she replied simply.
Air rushed out of my lungs in one big burst, until then I hadn’t even realised that I was holding my breath. She loved me. Ellie Pearce was in love with me. I had never heard sweeter words in my life.
I forced myself to stand up even though my legs felt a little wobbly and weak. She didn’t move as I stepped closer to her, so close that I could feel her breath as it blew across my chin. Her eyes didn’t leave mine for a second.
One of my hands cupped the side of her face as I just marvelled over her perfection. I needed to say it back and quickly before she thought that I didn’t feel the same. This wasn’t how I pictured this moment happening at all. I was planning on telling her that I loved her on her eighteenth birthday - I guess technically it was already her birthday now though. But I was going to make it romantic and special - complete with picnic, cheesy music, and flowers.
Standing with her in that second though, with her beautiful grey eyes burning into mine, my hoodie wrapped around her body - I realised that we didn’t need music and flowers or candles and expensive food, all we needed was us.
“I love you too, Ellie,” I whispered, bending slightly so I could lose myself in her gaze.
A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth as her arms looped around my waist. I didn’t move, not wanting to ruin the moment - I wanted to live in this perfect moment forever. The sound of her soft laughter brought me out of my happy daze. I looked at her curiously and she full on grinned at me.
She swiped at her face quickly with the back of her hand. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the tears that I knew I had put there. I hated myself for making her cry and I would never forgive myself for it.
“What happened? You said you didn’t have a choice,” she asked.
I shook my head fiercely. “I didn’t have a choice. My stupid mother, she…. she borrowed some money from some bad people and couldn’t pay it back. I had to help her out,” I explained. “But I couldn’t afford it either, it was so much money, I didn’t have it. I had to go back to my old boss and ask him for a job or two so that I could help my mom. The people that she borrowed from, they’re not exactly a normal lending back. If I hadn’t done this then they would have killed her eventually for sure.”
She gulped; her was breathing quickening the more I spoke. Silently I wondered if she was going to hyperventilate or go into shock or something.
“So you had to do this to get money for your mom?” she asked quietly.
I nodded. “I’ve just finished paying off her debt now but Brett, my boss, he wouldn’t let me just do a couple of jobs, I had to agree to work for him for a certain amount of time. I agreed to do it for three months, I have just under two left.”
“Three months of stealing cars?”
“Among other things,” I agreed, not wanting to lie to her anymore.
“Like what other things? What else have you been doing, Jamie?” she asked, frowning.
I took it as a good sign that she was still sitting next to me, asking questions. Wouldn’t she have run by now if she was going to? “Lots of things that I don’t want to tell you about, Ellie. It’s best if you don’t know in case anything bad happens because of it.”
She snorted at my answer. “Anything bad, like being wanted for gross theft auto?” she snapped.
“Grand theft auto,” I corrected, laughing at her innocence. She glared at me and I felt my laugh die out immediately, now was not really the time to be laughing at her. “Sorry,” I muttered, shaking my head at myself and how stupid I was sometimes.
She groaned and put her head in her hands. “I knew you had a bad past but that you didn’t want to talk about it. I knew that something bad had happened to you but I never suspected that you were in a damn car stealing gang,” she hissed.
“Ellie, I’m so sorry. I-” I started, but she cut me off.
“What do you want me to do?” she interjected.
I felt my mouth drop open in shock as my pulse quickened. Was she being serious right now? She was just accepting my past, just like that?
“Brett said we needed to get alibis. One of my crew got in an accident tonight while we were on a boost and the police will be asking questions about the car soon. Everything should be fine, Brett will take care of him and get him out, but just in case one of us gets linked to him, we need a backup plan that’s not connected to anything illegal. You’re the only one I have,” I replied, hating to put this pressure on her.
She nodded, picking up a stone and rolling it around in her hands as I spoke. “So you want me to say I was with you tonight, right?” she clarified.
I nodded, gulping because this unbelievable girl was willing to help me like that.
“My parents were with me tonight. They went to bed just after ten. I could say that I snuck you in after they went to bed so that you could wake up with me on my birthday. Is that good enough?” she asked looking at me worriedly.
“Ellie, why would you do that? You’re going to get in trouble with your parents in the morning when they see me. Why would you do that for me?” I asked, just needing to know the answer.
She stood up, dropping the stone at her bare feet, turning to face me. Her eyes locked onto mine and I felt the hair on the back of my neck prickle because of the intensity of it.
“Because I love you, Jamie,” she replied simply.
Air rushed out of my lungs in one big burst, until then I hadn’t even realised that I was holding my breath. She loved me. Ellie Pearce was in love with me. I had never heard sweeter words in my life.
I forced myself to stand up even though my legs felt a little wobbly and weak. She didn’t move as I stepped closer to her, so close that I could feel her breath as it blew across my chin. Her eyes didn’t leave mine for a second.
One of my hands cupped the side of her face as I just marvelled over her perfection. I needed to say it back and quickly before she thought that I didn’t feel the same. This wasn’t how I pictured this moment happening at all. I was planning on telling her that I loved her on her eighteenth birthday - I guess technically it was already her birthday now though. But I was going to make it romantic and special - complete with picnic, cheesy music, and flowers.
Standing with her in that second though, with her beautiful grey eyes burning into mine, my hoodie wrapped around her body - I realised that we didn’t need music and flowers or candles and expensive food, all we needed was us.
“I love you too, Ellie,” I whispered, bending slightly so I could lose myself in her gaze.
A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth as her arms looped around my waist. I didn’t move, not wanting to ruin the moment - I wanted to live in this perfect moment forever. The sound of her soft laughter brought me out of my happy daze. I looked at her curiously and she full on grinned at me.
