Find You in the Dark
Page 39
Sure the issues were still there, but maybe loving him would be the best way to help him. Yep, my mind was made up. I wanted Clayton Reed as my boyfriend. I loved him and I wouldn't stay a part from him any longer. My parents and my own fears be damned.
And if he went into the dark again, this time I would be there to find him – to follow him. Because I thought, perhaps quite immaturely, that my love could help him. Maybe our love could do even more than just help – maybe it could heal him. Fix him. Fix everything.
“You look so amazingly awful!” Rachel squealed, having me turn around for the millionth time in my hideous formal dress. I had teased my hair into an eighties do, complete with the poufy bangs and frizzy curls. I did look pretty funny. Though, I was pleased to note that the dress was actually very form fitting and gave me the illusion of some amazing curves. So despite the nasty puffed sleeves and horrible color, I didn't look too bad.
Which was good, because I was ready to make my feelings for Clay known tonight. This was it, I was taking the plunge. Clay hadn't been back to my house in the week and a half leading up to the dance. He made a million excuses when I would suggest him coming inside after school. I knew my dad had freaked him out and Clay was trying to be respectful of his wishes. But that unfortunately meant we hadn't been alone since falling asleep in my bed and that sucked. Ruby had started taking the afternoons off at the shop so we would end up hanging out in Clay's living room, watching TV and doing our homework while Ruby plied us with new herbal tea concoctions she was trying out.
I really loved his aunt and her girlfriend. They immediately made me feel welcome- (unlike my father did to Clay -) and were very clear as to how happy they were that Clay and I were spending time together. I could see the worry in Ruby's eyes when she looked at her nephew. It was the same worry I felt underneath the budding anticipation that was building inside of me when he and I were together.
The sexual tension was threatening to choke me, it had become so thick. Clay and I made every excuse to touch each other, in a seemingly platonic way. Clay would brush the hair off my face. I would pick a piece of imaginary lint from his arm. It was a beautiful dance we were engaged in and the build up was almost as delicious as what I imagined the real deal to be like.
“I can't wait to see what the boys are wearing.” Rachel squealed. She looked fantastic in her bright pink dress. She had pulled her dark brown hair into a messy up do, with curls framing her face. If the way she looked tonight didn't have Daniel tripping over his tongue, I didn't know what would.
“Yeah, Clay was pretty cagey about his getup, it should be interesting.” I said, touching up my makeup. I was wearing more than I normally did, but I was pleased with the result. My blue eyes were rimmed in eye kohl with a smudged, smoky look. My lips were painted an almost garish red, but I liked the way it made my normally thin lips look fuller. All in all, I didn't look too bad.
“You look so pretty, Mags. Even in that eye-searing color.” Rachel said, putting her arm around my shoulders so we could stand together in front of my full length mirror. “Let's do this. Daniel and Clay should be here any minute.” Rachel grabbed her beaded purse and I picked up my messenger bag. Rachel stopped me before leaving the room. “You are not taking that thing. It ruins the look.” She went back to my closet and unearthed a black satin handbag that my mom had gotten me for prom last year. Rachel took my wallet, brush and mints out of my bag and placed them in the much smaller purse.
“There, much better.” She said after I slung it over my shoulder. I just shook my head, not wanting to argue with her about it. We had just reached the bottom of the stairs when the doorbell rang.
My mother was there instantly. She must have been lying in wait for the guys to get there - armed with her heavy duty Nokia camera. I rolled my eyes at the thought of the next ten minutes of picture taking hell.
“Well hello, Daniel. Clay.” My mother said. She moved aside so they could come into the foyer. I covered my mouth with my hand trying not to crack up. They looked ridiculous. They had unknowingly worn similar suits. They each wore a very dated formal wear. Daniel's was maroon and Clay's a horrendous plum. Each had a white tie and a robin's egg blue shirt. It was a horrible combination. But they somehow made it work.
I took a moment to muse on how different they were, yet equally good looking. Daniel had started to let his blond hair grow out and it looked almost unkempt around his face. His toned arms barely fitting into the tight sleeves of the jacket. I heard Rachel's barely there sigh as she saw Daniel.
Now Clay was truly gorgeous. Even in the horrible suit, he looked handsome. His hair too was growing out into those curls I loved and they hung down just above his eyes. He seemed excited, buoyant even. His energy was apparent as he took my arm and placed my hand in the crook of his elbow. “My lady. You are a vision.” He said, looking me up and down. I elbowed him and laughed. “And you, sir, look dazzling in your prune suit.” He smoothed the jacket's front. “This is not prune, it is a very lovely shade of puce, I believe.”
“Well, whatever it is you look pretty awesome.” I said breathlessly. Clay smiled at me, catching the way my voice shook as he took my hand.
“Look at you guys! Aren't you a sight!” My mom said, pulling the four of us into the living room so she could take pictures. My dad looked up from the newspaper he was reading on the couch. His eyes darkened slightly at the sight of Clay holding my arm and I glared at him. Catching my look, my dad smoothed his expression and gave me a smile. “You all look great.” He said politely. “Thank you, Mr. Young.” Clay said judiciously, clearly trying to make this as painless as possible. Considering he hadn't seen my dad since their run in weeks ago, I thought it was pretty minimal in the awkwardness department.
And if he went into the dark again, this time I would be there to find him – to follow him. Because I thought, perhaps quite immaturely, that my love could help him. Maybe our love could do even more than just help – maybe it could heal him. Fix him. Fix everything.
“You look so amazingly awful!” Rachel squealed, having me turn around for the millionth time in my hideous formal dress. I had teased my hair into an eighties do, complete with the poufy bangs and frizzy curls. I did look pretty funny. Though, I was pleased to note that the dress was actually very form fitting and gave me the illusion of some amazing curves. So despite the nasty puffed sleeves and horrible color, I didn't look too bad.
Which was good, because I was ready to make my feelings for Clay known tonight. This was it, I was taking the plunge. Clay hadn't been back to my house in the week and a half leading up to the dance. He made a million excuses when I would suggest him coming inside after school. I knew my dad had freaked him out and Clay was trying to be respectful of his wishes. But that unfortunately meant we hadn't been alone since falling asleep in my bed and that sucked. Ruby had started taking the afternoons off at the shop so we would end up hanging out in Clay's living room, watching TV and doing our homework while Ruby plied us with new herbal tea concoctions she was trying out.
I really loved his aunt and her girlfriend. They immediately made me feel welcome- (unlike my father did to Clay -) and were very clear as to how happy they were that Clay and I were spending time together. I could see the worry in Ruby's eyes when she looked at her nephew. It was the same worry I felt underneath the budding anticipation that was building inside of me when he and I were together.
The sexual tension was threatening to choke me, it had become so thick. Clay and I made every excuse to touch each other, in a seemingly platonic way. Clay would brush the hair off my face. I would pick a piece of imaginary lint from his arm. It was a beautiful dance we were engaged in and the build up was almost as delicious as what I imagined the real deal to be like.
“I can't wait to see what the boys are wearing.” Rachel squealed. She looked fantastic in her bright pink dress. She had pulled her dark brown hair into a messy up do, with curls framing her face. If the way she looked tonight didn't have Daniel tripping over his tongue, I didn't know what would.
“Yeah, Clay was pretty cagey about his getup, it should be interesting.” I said, touching up my makeup. I was wearing more than I normally did, but I was pleased with the result. My blue eyes were rimmed in eye kohl with a smudged, smoky look. My lips were painted an almost garish red, but I liked the way it made my normally thin lips look fuller. All in all, I didn't look too bad.
“You look so pretty, Mags. Even in that eye-searing color.” Rachel said, putting her arm around my shoulders so we could stand together in front of my full length mirror. “Let's do this. Daniel and Clay should be here any minute.” Rachel grabbed her beaded purse and I picked up my messenger bag. Rachel stopped me before leaving the room. “You are not taking that thing. It ruins the look.” She went back to my closet and unearthed a black satin handbag that my mom had gotten me for prom last year. Rachel took my wallet, brush and mints out of my bag and placed them in the much smaller purse.
“There, much better.” She said after I slung it over my shoulder. I just shook my head, not wanting to argue with her about it. We had just reached the bottom of the stairs when the doorbell rang.
My mother was there instantly. She must have been lying in wait for the guys to get there - armed with her heavy duty Nokia camera. I rolled my eyes at the thought of the next ten minutes of picture taking hell.
“Well hello, Daniel. Clay.” My mother said. She moved aside so they could come into the foyer. I covered my mouth with my hand trying not to crack up. They looked ridiculous. They had unknowingly worn similar suits. They each wore a very dated formal wear. Daniel's was maroon and Clay's a horrendous plum. Each had a white tie and a robin's egg blue shirt. It was a horrible combination. But they somehow made it work.
I took a moment to muse on how different they were, yet equally good looking. Daniel had started to let his blond hair grow out and it looked almost unkempt around his face. His toned arms barely fitting into the tight sleeves of the jacket. I heard Rachel's barely there sigh as she saw Daniel.
Now Clay was truly gorgeous. Even in the horrible suit, he looked handsome. His hair too was growing out into those curls I loved and they hung down just above his eyes. He seemed excited, buoyant even. His energy was apparent as he took my arm and placed my hand in the crook of his elbow. “My lady. You are a vision.” He said, looking me up and down. I elbowed him and laughed. “And you, sir, look dazzling in your prune suit.” He smoothed the jacket's front. “This is not prune, it is a very lovely shade of puce, I believe.”
“Well, whatever it is you look pretty awesome.” I said breathlessly. Clay smiled at me, catching the way my voice shook as he took my hand.
“Look at you guys! Aren't you a sight!” My mom said, pulling the four of us into the living room so she could take pictures. My dad looked up from the newspaper he was reading on the couch. His eyes darkened slightly at the sight of Clay holding my arm and I glared at him. Catching my look, my dad smoothed his expression and gave me a smile. “You all look great.” He said politely. “Thank you, Mr. Young.” Clay said judiciously, clearly trying to make this as painless as possible. Considering he hadn't seen my dad since their run in weeks ago, I thought it was pretty minimal in the awkwardness department.
