Find You in the Dark
Page 4
Seeing the looks on our faces, his cheeks went red. “No, I didn't mean it like that. Of course I know you're girls...it's just you're my friends and everything...and...oh hell, I didn't mean to be a dick.” Okay maybe he wasn't a complete dolt. I shrugged, letting him know he was cool, with me at least. Rachel wouldn't look at him. “Rachel, I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me. You know it's just my verbal diarrhea brought on by a bad case of Kylie angst. Forgive me darlin'.” Daniel was laying it on thick and Rachel was defenseless against his evil attack of charm.
Rachel smiled at him. “I understand.” She told him and I thought I would gag at her simpering. I loved Rachel, don't get me wrong. But I wished she would grow a pair when it came to Daniel. He unknowingly walked all over her. Daniel was not an ass**le by nature, just really self- centered and egocentric. He was a good friend though and fiercely protective of Rachel and me, which is why it was so easy to dismiss his moments of jerkiness.
But Rachel had it so bad that I felt horrible for her. She had loved Daniel pretty much since we could formulate words. She held him up as some sort of perfect specimen of man. She never dated, holding out hope for her fairy tale ending. Poor girl. And Daniel had no flipping clue. Okay, he was a dolt. Because Rachel was stunning. Her brown hair wasn't mousy like mine, it was lovely and curly in a way I always envied. She was shorter than me but possessed curves that clearly stated, “I am girl, hear me roar.” She and Daniel would have made the most gorgeous couple, if only he could see past his own idiocy.
“I just can't take her crap anymore.” Daniel moaned, bringing the conversation back to him. Rachel, being the total nurturer, rubbed the back of his hand. “Danny, you are only seventeen. You really don't need all the hassle.” As if I couldn't see the true motive behind her words.
Well, I was less diplomatic. I leaned over and grabbed a fry from Daniel's tray. “Just dump her Danny. She's a serious whack job. One day you'll come home and she'll have boiled your guinea pig.” Daniel arched that annoying eyebrow in my direction and started eating his less than edible hamburger.
Rachel frowned at me, clearly irritated with my lack of sensitivity. Excuse me if I didn't understand why people wasted so much energy on relationships that made them miserable. I had an awesome example of what functional love was supposed to look like and so much of what I saw around me was anything but that. Which I guess is why I never bothered with the whole dating thing. Nothing lived up to the standards that I had set for myself.
Sure kissing was fun but it was all that other messy stuff that seemed to come with teenage dating that I could do without.
I'd never had a “boyfriend” per se. I'd gone on a handful of dates, made out some, teased going to second base at the occasional party after a foot ball game- (though I was by no means a slut or a tease. My boundaries were firmly in place-). That was all fine and dandy, but I just didn't see the need to pair off with some random the way Daniel and Rachel did.
Rachel was a hopeless romantic, her crush on Daniel, case in point. She longed for her one great love and all that Romeo and Juliet junk. She had told me more than once that my double X chromosome must be on the fritz because I was unconcerned with all those female trappings. Not that I was a tomboy or anything, I just had a more male approach to hooking up and dating.
“You make it sound so easy, Maggie. One day you'll get it.” Daniel muttered. I just shrugged and focused on my lunch, letting Rachel do the whole advice and consoling thing. She was much better at it anyway.
While my friends ruminated on the disastrous state of Daniel's love life, my eyes flitted around the cafeteria. Everyone and everything was just as it should be. The population of Jackson High School existing in their perfectly predestined circles. The jocks ate at their table in the middle of the room, making suggestive comments to the cheerleaders and tripping the AV geeks as they scuttled by. The goth kids sat in the back, writing bad poetry, or applying more eye liner, or whatever it was they did. The social outcasts sat on the fringes, not making eye contact. Nothing changed. Everything was so predictable and boring I wanted to gouge my eyes out.
Then my eyes landed on him. That familiar black head and beat up army jacket. It was the not so pleasant guy from this morning. Now, there was someone who was anything but boring, even if he seemed a bit psychotically temperamental.
He was making his way through the lunch line, haphazardly dropping food items on the tray. He obviously couldn't care less about what he was going to eat and seemed to be doing nothing more than going through the motions.
Even from here, his ridiculous good looks were startling. He definitely had the attention of most of the kids in the room. The girls whispered to each other as they batted their Mabelline mascaraed eyes in his direction. The jocks stared him down, feeling the threat of encroaching testosterone in their territory.
What was interesting to watch was that this guy clearly didn't give a shit about any of it. In fact his body language practically screamed “Leave Me Alone!” He stood with his shoulders hunched forward, his chin pointed inward towards his chest. His shaggy hair hung in his face, obscuring his eyes. He shuffled along as if he were trying not to draw attention to himself.
Good luck there buddy. Davidson was a small town and the arrival of a new student was like dropping a bloody steak into a tank full of sharks. He'd be devoured in no time.
I watched him pay for his food without saying a word to the lunch lady. He picked up his tray and moved quickly toward a table near the back. Into outcast zone. Interesting. This guy could easily have sat anywhere. He could have carved out any place within the social hierarchy that he wanted. But instead he sat at a table by himself without once making eye contact with anyone. He pulled an MP3 player out of his tattered army jacket pocket and put the ear buds in. His vibe was loud and clear; don't approach under fear of death!
Rachel smiled at him. “I understand.” She told him and I thought I would gag at her simpering. I loved Rachel, don't get me wrong. But I wished she would grow a pair when it came to Daniel. He unknowingly walked all over her. Daniel was not an ass**le by nature, just really self- centered and egocentric. He was a good friend though and fiercely protective of Rachel and me, which is why it was so easy to dismiss his moments of jerkiness.
But Rachel had it so bad that I felt horrible for her. She had loved Daniel pretty much since we could formulate words. She held him up as some sort of perfect specimen of man. She never dated, holding out hope for her fairy tale ending. Poor girl. And Daniel had no flipping clue. Okay, he was a dolt. Because Rachel was stunning. Her brown hair wasn't mousy like mine, it was lovely and curly in a way I always envied. She was shorter than me but possessed curves that clearly stated, “I am girl, hear me roar.” She and Daniel would have made the most gorgeous couple, if only he could see past his own idiocy.
“I just can't take her crap anymore.” Daniel moaned, bringing the conversation back to him. Rachel, being the total nurturer, rubbed the back of his hand. “Danny, you are only seventeen. You really don't need all the hassle.” As if I couldn't see the true motive behind her words.
Well, I was less diplomatic. I leaned over and grabbed a fry from Daniel's tray. “Just dump her Danny. She's a serious whack job. One day you'll come home and she'll have boiled your guinea pig.” Daniel arched that annoying eyebrow in my direction and started eating his less than edible hamburger.
Rachel frowned at me, clearly irritated with my lack of sensitivity. Excuse me if I didn't understand why people wasted so much energy on relationships that made them miserable. I had an awesome example of what functional love was supposed to look like and so much of what I saw around me was anything but that. Which I guess is why I never bothered with the whole dating thing. Nothing lived up to the standards that I had set for myself.
Sure kissing was fun but it was all that other messy stuff that seemed to come with teenage dating that I could do without.
I'd never had a “boyfriend” per se. I'd gone on a handful of dates, made out some, teased going to second base at the occasional party after a foot ball game- (though I was by no means a slut or a tease. My boundaries were firmly in place-). That was all fine and dandy, but I just didn't see the need to pair off with some random the way Daniel and Rachel did.
Rachel was a hopeless romantic, her crush on Daniel, case in point. She longed for her one great love and all that Romeo and Juliet junk. She had told me more than once that my double X chromosome must be on the fritz because I was unconcerned with all those female trappings. Not that I was a tomboy or anything, I just had a more male approach to hooking up and dating.
“You make it sound so easy, Maggie. One day you'll get it.” Daniel muttered. I just shrugged and focused on my lunch, letting Rachel do the whole advice and consoling thing. She was much better at it anyway.
While my friends ruminated on the disastrous state of Daniel's love life, my eyes flitted around the cafeteria. Everyone and everything was just as it should be. The population of Jackson High School existing in their perfectly predestined circles. The jocks ate at their table in the middle of the room, making suggestive comments to the cheerleaders and tripping the AV geeks as they scuttled by. The goth kids sat in the back, writing bad poetry, or applying more eye liner, or whatever it was they did. The social outcasts sat on the fringes, not making eye contact. Nothing changed. Everything was so predictable and boring I wanted to gouge my eyes out.
Then my eyes landed on him. That familiar black head and beat up army jacket. It was the not so pleasant guy from this morning. Now, there was someone who was anything but boring, even if he seemed a bit psychotically temperamental.
He was making his way through the lunch line, haphazardly dropping food items on the tray. He obviously couldn't care less about what he was going to eat and seemed to be doing nothing more than going through the motions.
Even from here, his ridiculous good looks were startling. He definitely had the attention of most of the kids in the room. The girls whispered to each other as they batted their Mabelline mascaraed eyes in his direction. The jocks stared him down, feeling the threat of encroaching testosterone in their territory.
What was interesting to watch was that this guy clearly didn't give a shit about any of it. In fact his body language practically screamed “Leave Me Alone!” He stood with his shoulders hunched forward, his chin pointed inward towards his chest. His shaggy hair hung in his face, obscuring his eyes. He shuffled along as if he were trying not to draw attention to himself.
Good luck there buddy. Davidson was a small town and the arrival of a new student was like dropping a bloody steak into a tank full of sharks. He'd be devoured in no time.
I watched him pay for his food without saying a word to the lunch lady. He picked up his tray and moved quickly toward a table near the back. Into outcast zone. Interesting. This guy could easily have sat anywhere. He could have carved out any place within the social hierarchy that he wanted. But instead he sat at a table by himself without once making eye contact with anyone. He pulled an MP3 player out of his tattered army jacket pocket and put the ear buds in. His vibe was loud and clear; don't approach under fear of death!
