Find You in the Dark
Page 90
Okay, bad choice of words. Clay pulled my hand off of his arm. “Yes, Maggie! I am FUCKING CRAZY! Everyone thinks it, so it must be true!” He yelled back at me. I blanched at his words and started backing away from him. His face dropped and he raked his fingers through his hair in agitation. “I want to go home, Clay. This is all so messed up! We can't do this!” I implored, collapsing on the park bench covering my face with my hands.
Clay came and sat down beside me and pulled my hands down. He held them tightly in his and looked at me with the most desolate expression I had ever seen. “I can't go home. Not now. I know I screwed up. I let things get out of control. But they weren't listening to me! They NEVER listen to me! Because none this was ever about me. It was all about my parents and how much of an embarrassment I am.” His voice cracked.
I softened at seeing him like this. I reached out and touched his cheek, lingering. “What about Ruby and Lisa? Can't they help?” I asked desperately. Clay barked out a laugh that sounded almost maniacal. “Uh, no. My parents threatened to have Ruby charged with delinquency of a minor or some such shit. I'm not sure how they could charge her with anything. But if anyone knows how to bend the law to get what they want, it's my parents.”
God, I hated those people. Clay clung to my hand. “They just wouldn't stop. They told me I was useless and a liability. That I was...deranged. That I wasn't fit to be in normal society.” Clay cut off on a ragged breath. His parents had broken him. How could they say such horrible things to their son, when he deserved so much more?
“So, yeah. I was angry. I felt trapped and needed to get out of there. So, I grabbed a knife off of the counter and pointed it at them and told them I was leaving.” I gasped. Clay arched his eyebrow. “A butter knife, Maggie. It was a f**king butter knife.” A butter knife? Really? They were pressing charges over a butter knife? This was ludicrous!
I couldn't stop the laugh that crept up out of my throat. And suddenly I was laughing. An insane sort of laughter. I couldn't stop. After a startled moment, Clay joined me and we were both laughing at the absurdity of it all.
Finally, we were able to calm down and Clay sobered instantly. “Do you see why I can't go back there? They won't leave me alone! I'll never have a life. They want me out of the way. And, now they've involved the police, I'll be locked away for sure. There's nothing, you, or me, or anyone can do about it. I just have to disappear.” He seemed so sure and I was tempted to be swayed by his logic.
Clay kissed the corner of my mouth. “I understand if this is too much for you. If you want to go home, I won't stop you. You have to do what's right for you. Not for me.” He said softly, his eyes full of sadness and love for me.
He was giving me an out. I appreciated how he was trying to be selfless. But after everything, all that I had sacrificed to be with him, there was no way in hell I'd let anyone take him from me. Despite my misgivings and the red flags that continued to go up all over the place, I was firm in my resolve to stand by him.
“I can't leave you. Not now, not ever.” I whispered, my eyes never leaving his. One way or the other I had to make things right for him. I didn't have any sort of a plan. The only one I had was to ride things out here. Just a few more days and I'd figure something out.
“God, I need you so much.” Clay's voice broke and he pulled me to him and sat on the bench, taking me with him so that I was straddling him. His mouth pressed against mine and he nibbled mercilessly at my bottom lip. I groaned into his mouth as I wiggled closer to him.
“Fuck, Maggie.” He whispered, wrenching my shirt out of my pants and moving his hands up the front of my body. I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him with all the pain and desire I felt. His hands cupped my br**sts and kneaded the skin roughly.
The cold, night air whipped around us but all I could feel was the heat being generated between us, the feel of him hard underneath his jeans. “I need to be inside you. Now!” He gasped as he rubbed my ni**les between his fingers. “But, we're outside, in a park. I don't know...” I suddenly felt self-conscious. Anyone could come up on us like this. Though, the park seemed to be deserted. And we were shielded from view by the trees.
“No one will see. Please.” He begged, unbuttoning my pants and pulling down the zipper, his fingers slipping underneath the edge of my panties, finding me wet and ready. “Clay.” I groaned as his fingers slipped inside me, a tantalizing tease. I frantically unzipped his jeans, rolling them down so that it released him. Clay sucked in a breath and shoved my pants down my hips.
He was being rough and desperate. Not at all like the gentle love making we had before. His lips were hot and pressed hard against my neck as I shrugged out of my pants. The chill around us made goosebumps break out over my bare legs.
But I didn't think anymore about that as Clay lifted me up and shoved my underwear aside, settling me down on top him, plunging deep into my body. I gasped at the suddenness of it. “More. I need more of you.” Clay pleaded as he jerked his hips upwards, while pulling me down against him as he held my hips tightly. His fingers dug into my flesh as he moved me up and down over him, piercing me deeply.
“Oh my God!” I groaned as I wrapped my legs tighter, pushing us as close together as we could go. Clay pulled me hard against him, his lips leaving wet trails along my neck and shoulders. He bit down on my skin as I ground against him, the feel of him deep inside me causing the familiar burn build up in my belly.
Clay came and sat down beside me and pulled my hands down. He held them tightly in his and looked at me with the most desolate expression I had ever seen. “I can't go home. Not now. I know I screwed up. I let things get out of control. But they weren't listening to me! They NEVER listen to me! Because none this was ever about me. It was all about my parents and how much of an embarrassment I am.” His voice cracked.
I softened at seeing him like this. I reached out and touched his cheek, lingering. “What about Ruby and Lisa? Can't they help?” I asked desperately. Clay barked out a laugh that sounded almost maniacal. “Uh, no. My parents threatened to have Ruby charged with delinquency of a minor or some such shit. I'm not sure how they could charge her with anything. But if anyone knows how to bend the law to get what they want, it's my parents.”
God, I hated those people. Clay clung to my hand. “They just wouldn't stop. They told me I was useless and a liability. That I was...deranged. That I wasn't fit to be in normal society.” Clay cut off on a ragged breath. His parents had broken him. How could they say such horrible things to their son, when he deserved so much more?
“So, yeah. I was angry. I felt trapped and needed to get out of there. So, I grabbed a knife off of the counter and pointed it at them and told them I was leaving.” I gasped. Clay arched his eyebrow. “A butter knife, Maggie. It was a f**king butter knife.” A butter knife? Really? They were pressing charges over a butter knife? This was ludicrous!
I couldn't stop the laugh that crept up out of my throat. And suddenly I was laughing. An insane sort of laughter. I couldn't stop. After a startled moment, Clay joined me and we were both laughing at the absurdity of it all.
Finally, we were able to calm down and Clay sobered instantly. “Do you see why I can't go back there? They won't leave me alone! I'll never have a life. They want me out of the way. And, now they've involved the police, I'll be locked away for sure. There's nothing, you, or me, or anyone can do about it. I just have to disappear.” He seemed so sure and I was tempted to be swayed by his logic.
Clay kissed the corner of my mouth. “I understand if this is too much for you. If you want to go home, I won't stop you. You have to do what's right for you. Not for me.” He said softly, his eyes full of sadness and love for me.
He was giving me an out. I appreciated how he was trying to be selfless. But after everything, all that I had sacrificed to be with him, there was no way in hell I'd let anyone take him from me. Despite my misgivings and the red flags that continued to go up all over the place, I was firm in my resolve to stand by him.
“I can't leave you. Not now, not ever.” I whispered, my eyes never leaving his. One way or the other I had to make things right for him. I didn't have any sort of a plan. The only one I had was to ride things out here. Just a few more days and I'd figure something out.
“God, I need you so much.” Clay's voice broke and he pulled me to him and sat on the bench, taking me with him so that I was straddling him. His mouth pressed against mine and he nibbled mercilessly at my bottom lip. I groaned into his mouth as I wiggled closer to him.
“Fuck, Maggie.” He whispered, wrenching my shirt out of my pants and moving his hands up the front of my body. I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him with all the pain and desire I felt. His hands cupped my br**sts and kneaded the skin roughly.
The cold, night air whipped around us but all I could feel was the heat being generated between us, the feel of him hard underneath his jeans. “I need to be inside you. Now!” He gasped as he rubbed my ni**les between his fingers. “But, we're outside, in a park. I don't know...” I suddenly felt self-conscious. Anyone could come up on us like this. Though, the park seemed to be deserted. And we were shielded from view by the trees.
“No one will see. Please.” He begged, unbuttoning my pants and pulling down the zipper, his fingers slipping underneath the edge of my panties, finding me wet and ready. “Clay.” I groaned as his fingers slipped inside me, a tantalizing tease. I frantically unzipped his jeans, rolling them down so that it released him. Clay sucked in a breath and shoved my pants down my hips.
He was being rough and desperate. Not at all like the gentle love making we had before. His lips were hot and pressed hard against my neck as I shrugged out of my pants. The chill around us made goosebumps break out over my bare legs.
But I didn't think anymore about that as Clay lifted me up and shoved my underwear aside, settling me down on top him, plunging deep into my body. I gasped at the suddenness of it. “More. I need more of you.” Clay pleaded as he jerked his hips upwards, while pulling me down against him as he held my hips tightly. His fingers dug into my flesh as he moved me up and down over him, piercing me deeply.
“Oh my God!” I groaned as I wrapped my legs tighter, pushing us as close together as we could go. Clay pulled me hard against him, his lips leaving wet trails along my neck and shoulders. He bit down on my skin as I ground against him, the feel of him deep inside me causing the familiar burn build up in my belly.
