Finding Faith

Page 54

I felt sick to my stomach. My knees went weak beneath me, and I used the wall of the garage to hold myself up. I couldn’t take my eyes away from them. Finn just sat there with his eyelids closed tight. He didn’t even bother to touch her. Instead, his arms were thrown out at his sides.
My heart shattered into a million soulless pieces. It was true. Finn had really moved on just that quickly. I was nothing to him. I never was. I’d read his letter, but I’d refused to believe it. I should’ve believed my dad. Maybe he really did mean well. Maybe he really did have my best interests at heart.
My legs felt numb as I turned and left the garage. When I escaped the terrible smells, I took deep breaths of fresh air. The breeze that moved around me cooled the tears pouring down my cheeks and dripping from my chin. I turned and started toward the gas station that was the closest. I died a little more with every step I took away from Finn, but I had to do what I had to. So I left and I never looked back again.
Thankfully, my father let me come back to our new home in California and even paid for my return. I ran back with my tail tucked firmly between my legs and salty tears on my cheeks. The beating I got when I got home was one that would stay with me for the rest of my life, but still, it didn’t hurt as much as seeing Finn with Jenny.
I settled into the life my dad wanted me to have and tried with all my might to block out Finn and everything I felt for him. It worked as long as I shut off my brain and stayed so busy I literally fell into bed each night. But then things took a turn for the worse and before I knew it, I was kicked out in a strange state with no one to turn to and nowhere to go.
Part Two:
Old Wounds
Four Years Later
Eighteen
Finn
I placed my hand on the back of her head as she continued to suck my cock. She wasn’t the best I’d had, but she was damn good at it. It felt even better when I closed my eyes and imagined she was a certain brunette that I loved to hate. In the end, imagining things like that only made me even more of an asshole.
I looked down at my hands and the blond hair clasped in my fingers. It was bleached. There was nothing natural about the girl on her knees in front of me. She looked up at me with big blue eyes and I had to look away. She wasn’t the woman I wanted, so I kept my eyes closed and wished it would be over already. I’d give her one thing, though; she won a ton of extra points when I told her I was going to come and she kept going until I was dry.
I tucked my junk back into my boxers and zipped up my jeans. The blonde adjusted her shorts as she sat on the couch next to me and attempted to snuggle. There was once a time in my life when I enjoyed snuggling, being close to the woman I cared about and breathing her in—not so much anymore. In fact, I fucking hated it. Not to mention, I didn’t give a shit about the girl I was with. I hadn’t even asked her name. I think at one point she’d told me, but I’d heard a lot of names. She had given me no reason to remember hers.
“Listen, babe, I appreciate the good time, but I think it’s time I get some sleep,” I said as I yawned.
I hated bringing girls on the bus, but a man had needs, and when there was a girl all ready to fulfill those needs, then what else could you do? It wasn’t like I forced them to do anything. They should’ve thought twice before they dropped their panties for just anyone.
“Should I give you my number?” she asked sweetly.
She ran her knee suggestively across mine, and I slid over and grabbed my beer.
I hated the part when they thought there’d be more. I always made it clear beforehand, but they all thought they’d be the one that did the trick—like they had a magic mouth that would snap me into some romantic Romeo. Not so much. I’d been burned before. No way in hell was the shit happening again.
“Nah, I’m good,” I said carelessly. “Thanks again, though.”
Her eyes widened and she looked at me like she couldn’t believe I had the audacity to say something so rude to her. I had all the audacity in the fucking world since she’d been dumb enough to drop to her knees in a strange bus with a guy she was never going to see again. Her purse swung close to my face when she grabbed it and ran from the bus. I chuckled to myself and shook my head. It was just another day in the life.
“Dude, tell me you got some of that,” Chet said as he stepped onboard the bus.
He turned back around and watched her walk across the parking lot. Licking his lips, he said, “Damn, look at that ass.”
I ignored his words. “Grab me another beer, man.”
Reaching into the refrigerator, he grabbed two bottles and threw one at me. The table beside me became a bottle opener as I popped it open on the edge. Six beers and three blunts later, we were laughing with Zeke and Tiny and getting ready to play our asses off in front of the thousands of people who’d come from all over to watch Blow Hole play.