Finding Faith

Page 75

My cheeks ached from the heat of my embarrassment. I wasn’t going to talk dirty to him. I wasn’t going to give him what he wanted. I hated that he had the upper hand over me. Not to mention, I had no idea how to talk dirty.
I silently wished I wasn’t so embarrassed by my body. Any other girl would have the confidence to step out of the bathtub and walk away. Not me. The thought of getting out in front of him made my nerves jump into my throat.
“I’m not.” The water was cooling and I could feel myself starting to shiver.
“Then you’re not getting this towel. You’re welcome to get out. Where are your clothes anyway?”
He had me there.
“They’re in the wash. I spilled something gross on my shirt.”
He put his head down and chuckled to himself. When he looked back up at me, the amusement in his eyes angered me. “No clothes either. Whatever will you do, Faith?”
“Okay, enough screwing around, Finn. Please give me my towel so I can get out of here.”
“But we haven’t screwed around yet. How can that be enough?” He countered. “I’m still waiting to hear something dirty. Come on, you can do it. It will only hurt a little the first time.”
Everything he said sounded like sexual innuendo and every time he spoke, my memory flashed back to that night on the beach when he pleasured me with his mouth or my first time when he’d held me so close and took to me heaven.
He was winning and I hated it. He had the upper hand and that frustrated me beyond words.
“Fine! What do you want me to say?” I gave in.
The water was beginning to feel colder and I wanted out of it.
He had the nerve to laugh at me. “I don’t know. Surprise me,” he said with a grin.
I racked my brain for something dirty to say, but I’d only ever had two sexual experiences and they were both with Finn. Our past together was the last thing I wanted to bring up. Nothing was coming to me, and the longer I sat there, the colder the water was getting. Every time I moved and the water swished against my skin, I trembled.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said honestly.
This time he didn’t laugh. Instead, his serious eyes settled on me and consumed my body.
“Tell me something that’s true,” he said.
Of course he’d make it even harder. Telling the truth was difficult when I was around Finn. The truth could cause heartache when it came to him.
The truth was he was my only and I didn’t want him to know that. I didn’t want him to know how special our night together had been for me. My mind moved across my memories and settled on the night on the beach—the night when he’d shown me the stars and heaven all at the same time.
“Sometimes when I touch myself, I think about our night at the beach and what you did with your mouth.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back. Fire filled his eyes and his mouth pinched into a frown. At first I was afraid I’d offended him, but then he swallowed hard and stepped toward me with my towel in his hand.
Leaning over the tub, he pushed a strand of my hair from my face and ran his knuckle softly down my cheek.
“That was probably the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard a woman say. Was it the truth?” he said as he handed me my towel.
I stood and covered myself at the same time. Cold water dripped from my body and I shivered. I stepped out of the tub, but he stood his ground. He was so close, so big and tall compared to me. I looked up into his eyes once I had my towel wrapped around myself.
“Yes,” I said.
I could hardly believe I was talking to him like that. It wasn’t something I ever did. My cheeks burned as usual and I wanted nothing more than to leave immediately—even if I had to do it in wet clothes.
He shocked me when he cupped my cheeks with his hands and ran his thumb across my bottom lip. His touch did something to me. Pushed away the past and brought me into the future—one where Finn hadn’t broken my heart. The chill in my body slipped away and was replaced with a heat I hadn’t felt since I was seventeen.
I swallowed hard and licked my dry lips. His eyes darted to my mouth and he slowly started to move in. Nerves loosened my knees and made me wobble a little. I leaned my head back a bit and closed my eyes. It was wrong letting him kiss me, but when his lips pressed again mine, it felt so right.
A soft moan slipped from my mouth. I’d waited so long to feel that way again. I’d waited so long so be touched or kissed. I hadn’t planned on it being Finn, but there was something almost comical about the fact that it was.