Finding Faith

Page 80

Hours went by and still no Faith. I was starting to worry and bite my nails, which I never did anymore. I thought I was about to come out of my skin when I heard the front door open. I was sure it was probably the guys coming back, but when I turned around, I saw Faith standing there with my folded T-shirt and boxers in her hand.
She stood there like the weeping willow I’d always pictured her as. Her hair flowed around her shoulders and her big brown eyes looked wounded. I hurt her. She was hurting and it was my fault.
“I forgot my purse,” she said as she turned and went toward the kitchen.
“Faith, wait. We need to talk.”
“I think you said enough yesterday,” she said with her back to me.
Again, I felt awful for everything I’d said to her from the moment we ran into each other again until the day before when I’d all but cussed her in the hallway.
“I’m sorry,” I said easily.
Sorry had never been an easy word for me, but I truly was this time. I was so sorry for everything I’d ever said and done to her, and I wished I could take it all back.
She turned and looked at me, her eyes pulled down in confusion. “What?”
“I said I’m sorry for everything. I was an asshole to you. You didn’t deserve that and I’m sorry.”
Tears filled her eyes and she wiped them before they could escape.
“I just want you to know some things. One: I didn’t sleep with Jenny. I was drunk and passed out. Thinking about it now and knowing that you came back and I didn’t know you did makes me sick to my stomach. The last four years have been hell for me.”
More tears came and she didn’t stop them from falling.
“For me, too,” she whispered.
I pulled out the two letters and handed them to her.
“And this is number two,” I said.
She unfolded each one and read them. When she looked back up at me, she started crying. Pulling her into my arms, I held her close to me.
“Don’t cry, baby. Everything’s okay now.”
She felt so good in my arms. It was as if the last four years never happened—like we’d just picked right up from the night she left. I’d take care of her. I’d make sure no one ever hurt her again. I had the ability to make everything perfect in her life, and I was determined to do it.
She pulled away and continued to cry.
“Everything’s not okay, Finn. There are things…” She stopped. “You know what? I can’t do this right now. I need time to think. I need to go and think.”
She took off with her purse in hand toward the front door. Following behind her, I grabbed her hand before she could leave.
“Don’t do this to me again, Faith. I need you,” I said honestly.
She placed her forehead against the door and took a deep breath. When she turned my way again, I held my arms out to her and she melted into my chest.
I breathed her in and rubbed her back. She was everything I ever wanted. She looked up at me and I leaned down and softly kissed her. She kissed me back and moaned sweetly in my mouth.
Things were going great until suddenly she pulled away again. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she sniffled. I used my thumb to wipe away her tears.
“Whatever it is, we can fix it,” I whispered in her hair.
That was the trigger. She pulled away completely and turned toward the door again. As she reached out for the knob, I watched her shoulders droop in defeat.
“It can’t be fixed,” she said sadly.
Then a thought hit me. Maybe she was already with someone else. Maybe he was good to her and she loved him. If that were the case, then my chance to find happiness would never come. If she was already taken, then I’d never be with another woman the way I was with Faith.
“Is there someone else?” I asked. The words choked me as they came out.
My chest ached with my words. I couldn’t stand the thought of another man having what I wanted.
Her face went pale as she stared back at me with big brown eyes. “Something like that,” she said.
And then she turned away and left. This time she slammed the door behind her. A picture of a guitar fell from the wall next to the door and broke all over the expensive flooring. It shattered into pieces exactly the way my heart did… again.
Twenty-Seven
Faith
I cried the entire drive home. Things were so screwed up and I didn’t know what to do. Finn was basically trying to mend things with me and I wanted it—I wanted to be with him so bad. The only problem was I knew the minute I told him about Jimmy, he would hate me again. Either that or he’d try to take Jimmy away.