Finding Faith

Page 9

I skipped the movies the following Saturday night, but somehow Amanda talked me into going off with her, Kevin, and his cousin after church on Sunday. I had school the following day, but after being busted in the bathroom, sobbing like an escaped mental patient, I thought sneaking out and getting a little freedom was becoming necessary.
It was the first time in my life that I’d done something so careless, but I was about to break. I was getting the belt regardless of what I did these days, so why not at least give him a good reason. I ran that thought through my mind as I waited for Amanda to quietly pull up outside.
When she finally came, I climbed out of my window like a juvenile delinquent. The windowsill dug into my stomach and pinched the soft skin beneath my belly button. My heart was already in my throat from fear, but the windowsill pressing into my chest didn’t help matters.
I stretched my legs out more until finally I could feel the grass beneath my tippy toes. Pushing up with my palms, I slid the rest of the way to the ground. My beige sweater snagged on a piece of cracked wood on the window frame and it ripped a tiny hole.
I still couldn’t believe what I was doing. I never thought in a million years that I’d actually sneak out with Amanda, but I needed to get away. Things were getting worse emotionally and I needed a break away from my life, or the lack thereof. Even if it was just going on a stupid drive for two hours with two strangers and my best friend… that was enough. I wasn’t stuck in my house, or school, or church, and that alone felt amazing.
I slid my window down quietly and waited for any sounds from inside my house. My heart remained jammed in my throat as I imagined my mom or dad bursting into my room to catch me in the act of breaking the rules.
“Come on, Faith,” Amanda whispered from behind me.
I ran behind her to a waiting car, my simple white tennis shoes sinking into the damp grass. Without thinking twice, I jumped into the back seat. My mouth was dry and I could barely swallow. The fear of getting caught was so strong and I was getting about sick and tired of feeling afraid all the time.
My stomach rolled with nerves and I began to shake as if I were freezing. No one around me seemed to notice. Once the car pulled away from my curb, I was afraid I’d go into a full panic attack and have to be rushed to the emergency room. I was thankful when the tense feeling slowly started wear off.
It was dark out, so dark that I couldn’t see the guy in the seat next to me. That alone was frightening in itself, but I trusted Amanda. She was trouble, but I knew she’d never do anything to put me in actual danger. At least I hoped she wouldn’t.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Amanda said over the headrest of the passenger’s seat, her eyes wild and excited.
She didn’t wait for my response. Instead, she flopped around in her seat and leaned over to kiss who I could only guess was Kevin.
Again, I looked over at the guy in the seat next to me. Occasionally, some light from outside would flash and I’d actually see him and not just his silhouette.
He was a big guy, much bigger than my dad, and in the darkness, I couldn’t tell if he was kind of chunky or really muscled. It wasn’t until Kevin pulled up to a red light in the middle of town that I was able to get a good look. His dark hair was buzzed short and his eyes were so dark they blended in with the car around him, which made him look somewhat ghostly. I was only mildly freaked out by his total silence.
He lifted his arm to roll down the window, allowing me to see the bulge in his bicep—most definitely not fat, definitely muscles. Knowing he could go all caveman on me and throw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes didn’t make me feel any better about sneaking out with strangers.
He noticed me staring and turned his attention back to me.
“I’m Tony, but all my friends call me Tiny.” His voice was deep, like an older man, even though his baby face said differently.
I was thinking he was no more than eighteen. It was funny that his friends called him Tiny since there was nothing on the boy that was even remotely small. I blushed at that thought and looked down at my hands.
“My name’s Faith. It’s nice to meet you.” I sounded as small as I felt next him.
He laughed a little to himself and turned his head to look back out the window.
“Don’t worry about him. He’s big and scary, but he’s just a big ol’ teddy bear. Aren’t you, Tiny? Can you believe he’s only a sophomore? He just joined Kevin’s band. He’s plays the bass and you know he’s got to be damn good for Finn and Kevin to let him join so young,” Amanda called from the front seat.