Finding Perfect
Page 19
“I still think getting my hair cut out of town solves the problem.”
“Coward.”
“Football taught me when to drop back and let my guys cover me.”
She paused by the glass door of the salon. “It doesn’t matter if you go out of town, Raoul. They’ll still be mad at you. Haven’t you figured it out? There’s no way to win this fight, so why not get a front-row seat and enjoy the show?”
“There’s a show?”
She smiled. “Actually, you’re the show.”
She walked inside. He hesitated for a second, then followed her into the salon.
It was midday, midweek and still nearly every station was full. As he entered the well-lit, modern space, every single person—aka woman—turned to stare at him.
A middle-aged woman with dark hair and beautiful brown eyes studied him appraisingly. “Pia, what have you brought me?”
Pia linked her arm through Raoul’s. “Bella, you can borrow him, but you can’t keep him. This is Raoul Moreno. Raoul, please meet Bella Gionni.”
Bella moved toward him, her hand extended. “My pleasure,” she purred. “So strong, so handsome. Josh is my favorite. After all, I’ve known him since he was a boy, but you… You come very close.”
Raoul shifted uncomfortably, then shook hands with the woman. “Ah, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. I’m ready for you.”
He leaned toward Pia. “You’re not leaving, are you?”
“No. I’m here to protect you.”
“Good.”
He was aware of every woman in the place watching him. He was used to attention, but it usually wasn’t so blatant.
Bella seated him in a chair and wrapped a plastic cape around him. Then she stood behind him, her hands on his shoulders, and met his gaze in the mirror.
“What would you like?”
“Just a trim,” Pia said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “This is his first haircut in town.”
Bella smiled. “And you came to me.”
“Where else would we go?” Pia asked.
“Exactly.” Bella reached for a spray bottle and dampened his hair, then combed through it. “Are the two of you together?”
“No,” Pia said quickly.
“Yes,” Raoul insisted just as fast.
Bella raised her eyebrows. “You should probably get that part figured out.”
Pia looked at him. “We’re not dating.”
“We’re together.”
“Okay, but not in that way. Just because we’ve…” She stopped and glanced around, as if aware of everyone listening.
He’d been talking about him being her pregnancy buddy, but he realized she’d been thinking about their night together.
“Men,” she muttered, as she stalked off and started talking to one of the other hairdressers.
Bella combed and cut efficiently, her hands moving confidently. “So you like our Pia, do you?”
“Very much.”
Bella’s expression sharpened. “As a friend or more?”
“We’re friends.”
“Then you’re a fool.”
He held in a grin. He’d always enjoyed women who spoke their minds. “Why?”
“Pia is worth ten of whatever women you’ve been dating. She’s a good girl. Smart, caring, beautiful.”
He turned his head so he could see Pia in the mirror. She’d shrugged out of her coat and he could see the way her sweater clung to her curves. She laughed at something he couldn’t hear, but the sound of her amusement made him smile.
She was all Bella said and more. She had heart and character. No one knew about the embryos. She could have walked away from them, had them donated to science or simply thrown away. But none of the options had occurred to her. There weren’t a lot of people he admired, but she was one of them.
“What happened to her was sad,” Bella continued. “Losing her father that way, then having her mother run to Florida. There was Pia, in her senior year of high school, and she lost everything. She had to go into foster care.”
“I’d heard,” he murmured, wondering what kind of mother simply abandoned her kid without a second thought. The grief and loss could have drawn them closer together. Instead Pia had had to deal with all the crap on her own.
He found himself wanting to fix the problem—even though it had happened over a decade ago. Still, the need was there, to do something. To act.
“She’s had boyfriends, you know,” Bella announced.
“I’m sure she has.”
“They never stay. Poor girl. I don’t know what goes wrong, but they leave.”
Not a conversation he wanted to be having with Bella, he thought. His gaze once again returned to Pia. She’d had a difficult road and her life was about to get three times more complicated. Who was going to take care of her? Who would be there when she needed help?
He knew she had friends and they would help. The town would pull through. Fool’s Gold seemed like that kind of place. But on a day-to-day basis, Pia would be on her own.
He wondered if she’d thought that part through. If she knew what she was getting into. She turned and met his gaze in the mirror, then smiled. He winked at her and she returned her attention to her conversation.
He’d been in love twice in his life. He and his first girlfriend had grown apart, and Caro had betrayed every part of their marriage vows. He wasn’t looking to feel that way ever again. Not getting involved was safer. But there was still the reality of wanting a family—needing that connection. He couldn’t have one without the other. Or so he’d always believed.
“I CAN HEAR YOU,” Pia yelled through the closed bathroom door.
“I’m just sitting. There’s nothing to hear.”
Even so, she was sure there were noises. Or maybe the problem was there weren’t. Talk about pressure, she thought as she stood and pulled up her bikini panties and jeans. Is this what it was like to be a guy? Pure performance anxiety?
She opened the bathroom door.
“I can’t do this with you in the room,” she said, then held up a hand. “Don’t bother saying you’re not in the room. It’s practically the same thing.”
Raoul shook his head as he got to his feet and turned to face her. Laughter brightened his dark eyes. “Can’t stand the heat, huh?” he teased.
“The heat isn’t the problem.”
“Have you tried turning on the faucet? The sound of running water might help.”
“I’m not going to stand here having a conversation with you about my inability to pee.”
“You already are.”
She rolled her eyes, then pointed at the front door. “Go stand in the hall until I’m done.”
“I’ve had my tongue in your mouth.”
“So not the point.”
“We can have sex, but I can’t be in the next room while you go to the bathroom?”
“Exactly.”
“Fine.” He crossed the room and let himself out. Then he stuck his head back in. “What should I tell the neighbors if they ask why I’m loitering?”
“Don’t make me kill you.”
He laughed and shut the door behind him.
“Men,” she muttered, then returned to the bathroom and pulled down her pants.
After sitting on the toilet, she turned on the faucet and reached for the plastic stick from the pregnancy test. Everything was fine, she told herself. She peed several times a day. It didn’t require a lot of thought or effort. It was natural. Easy.
But at that moment, it felt far from easy. It felt impossible. She turned off the water, tried humming, shifting, breathing more slowly. Her bladder stubbornly refused to empty.
Never again, she told herself. Pregnancy was too hard. When she finally managed to pee on the stick, she was going to get ice cream. The fact that it was chilly outside didn’t matter. She wanted a hot fudge sundae with whipped…
“Oh, no!”
When she’d finally stopped paying attention, her body had responded. She did her thing with the stick, set it on a tissue, then got up, flushed and pulled up her pants. After washing her hands, she walked out to get Raoul.
“Finally,” he said when she opened the door. “Success?”
“I have peed.”
“I’m so proud.”
“Be nice or I’ll make you touch it.”
She went back into the bathroom and carefully carried out the stick on the tissue and set it on a paper towel on the kitchen counter.
“How long?”
“Just a few minutes.”
They stared at the little screen, which showed an hourglass. She could hear the faint ticking of a clock and feel the rapid thudding of her heart. According to the test, the result would announce her condition. Pregnant or not pregnant. As simple as that.
She didn’t allow herself to speculate. Part of her was afraid that she’d lost Crystal’s babies—that they hadn’t been able to hang on. But another part of her was terrified they had.
Raoul put his arm around her. She leaned into him and hung on.
The screen changed and she saw a single word.
Pregnant.
There was no misunderstanding that.
Her body went cold, then seemed to heat from the inside. Her stomach flopped over, making her wonder if she was going to throw up. Reality loomed, like a really big storm, but she couldn’t take it all in. Pregnant. She was pregnant.
“You did it!” Raoul crowed, then grabbed her around the waist and spun her in the center of the room. “You’re going to be a mom.”
He sounded delighted. She felt like she was going to pass out, although that could have been from the world blurring around her.
A mom? Her? “I can’t,” she whispered.
He set her down. “Sure you can. This is great, Pia. The embryos implanted. This is great news.”
Intellectually, she could agree. This is what Crystal wanted. But in her gut, she was deathly afraid of screwing up.
“I have to sit down,” she said, making her way over to a kitchen chair and dropping onto it. She closed her eyes and focused on breathing.
Pregnant. Right now there were babies growing inside of her. Babies who would be born and become actual children, then real people. Babies who would depend on her and expect her to take care of them.
Raoul pulled up a chair and sat across from her. He took her hand in his. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think I can do this. I can’t have children. I don’t know how.”
“Don’t they do all the hard work themselves?”
“The forming and growing, maybe, but then what? They’re going to have expectations. I’m not prepared for this.”
He leaned toward her. “You have eight and a half months and I’ll help.”
“You’re going to be my pregnancy buddy.” She pulled her hand free and stood. “Don’t get me wrong—I appreciate the support. But I’m less concerned about being pregnant than what comes after. I’m going to have to buy stuff. I haven’t got a clue what. There must be a list somewhere, right? On the Internet?”
He rose. “I’m sure there is.”
“And I’ll need to move. This place is too small. I’ll need a house.” She made okay money, but it wasn’t a fortune. Could she afford a house? “And there’s college. I should start saving, but I don’t know what to invest in. I don’t understand the stock market.”
He moved close and put his hands on her shoulders. “One thing at a time,” he told her. “Relax. Breathe. I can help with all this. We’ll find you a great place, and I can get you the best investment advice available. It’s going to be okay, Pia. I promise.”
She nodded, because that was the expected thing to do. And sure, he would help and she would appreciate it. But when the babies were born, his work was done. He would walk away and she would be left on her own. With triplets.
“THIS IS FUN,” JENNY SAID as she ran the wand over Pia’s belly. “I don’t usually do ultrasounds this early.” She kept her gaze on the monitor. “You know we won’t be able to see anything specific. Just whether the embryos have implanted.”
“I know,” Pia whispered, hanging on to Raoul’s hand with all her strength. Under normal circumstances she would worry about hurting him, but he was a tough football player. She was sure he could take it.
Besides, he’d offered to come with her to the doctor’s office. If any part of this freaked him out, he would have to deal with it himself.
She’d had less than forty-eight hours to get used to the idea of being pregnant. So far the information hadn’t become any more real. She alternated between shock and panic. Neither was especially comfortable.
She’d tried a little reading from the pregnancy books she’d bought, but that only made things worse. Knowing the statistical odds of getting hemorrhoids by the end of term wasn’t exactly the sort of information she was looking for.
“Okay,” Jenny said cheerfully. “Let me get the doctor.”
Pia waited until the tech left, then turned to Raoul. “Did we know she was going to do that? Is it okay she’s getting Dr. Galloway?”
He bent over her, smoothing her hair back with his free hand. “It’s fine. She said she would be getting the doctor before she started. This is all routine, Pia. You’re doing great.”
Did all mothers-to-be feel such a numbing sense of responsibility? Because whatever happened wasn’t just about her—it was also about Crystal and Keith.
“Coward.”
“Football taught me when to drop back and let my guys cover me.”
She paused by the glass door of the salon. “It doesn’t matter if you go out of town, Raoul. They’ll still be mad at you. Haven’t you figured it out? There’s no way to win this fight, so why not get a front-row seat and enjoy the show?”
“There’s a show?”
She smiled. “Actually, you’re the show.”
She walked inside. He hesitated for a second, then followed her into the salon.
It was midday, midweek and still nearly every station was full. As he entered the well-lit, modern space, every single person—aka woman—turned to stare at him.
A middle-aged woman with dark hair and beautiful brown eyes studied him appraisingly. “Pia, what have you brought me?”
Pia linked her arm through Raoul’s. “Bella, you can borrow him, but you can’t keep him. This is Raoul Moreno. Raoul, please meet Bella Gionni.”
Bella moved toward him, her hand extended. “My pleasure,” she purred. “So strong, so handsome. Josh is my favorite. After all, I’ve known him since he was a boy, but you… You come very close.”
Raoul shifted uncomfortably, then shook hands with the woman. “Ah, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. I’m ready for you.”
He leaned toward Pia. “You’re not leaving, are you?”
“No. I’m here to protect you.”
“Good.”
He was aware of every woman in the place watching him. He was used to attention, but it usually wasn’t so blatant.
Bella seated him in a chair and wrapped a plastic cape around him. Then she stood behind him, her hands on his shoulders, and met his gaze in the mirror.
“What would you like?”
“Just a trim,” Pia said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “This is his first haircut in town.”
Bella smiled. “And you came to me.”
“Where else would we go?” Pia asked.
“Exactly.” Bella reached for a spray bottle and dampened his hair, then combed through it. “Are the two of you together?”
“No,” Pia said quickly.
“Yes,” Raoul insisted just as fast.
Bella raised her eyebrows. “You should probably get that part figured out.”
Pia looked at him. “We’re not dating.”
“We’re together.”
“Okay, but not in that way. Just because we’ve…” She stopped and glanced around, as if aware of everyone listening.
He’d been talking about him being her pregnancy buddy, but he realized she’d been thinking about their night together.
“Men,” she muttered, as she stalked off and started talking to one of the other hairdressers.
Bella combed and cut efficiently, her hands moving confidently. “So you like our Pia, do you?”
“Very much.”
Bella’s expression sharpened. “As a friend or more?”
“We’re friends.”
“Then you’re a fool.”
He held in a grin. He’d always enjoyed women who spoke their minds. “Why?”
“Pia is worth ten of whatever women you’ve been dating. She’s a good girl. Smart, caring, beautiful.”
He turned his head so he could see Pia in the mirror. She’d shrugged out of her coat and he could see the way her sweater clung to her curves. She laughed at something he couldn’t hear, but the sound of her amusement made him smile.
She was all Bella said and more. She had heart and character. No one knew about the embryos. She could have walked away from them, had them donated to science or simply thrown away. But none of the options had occurred to her. There weren’t a lot of people he admired, but she was one of them.
“What happened to her was sad,” Bella continued. “Losing her father that way, then having her mother run to Florida. There was Pia, in her senior year of high school, and she lost everything. She had to go into foster care.”
“I’d heard,” he murmured, wondering what kind of mother simply abandoned her kid without a second thought. The grief and loss could have drawn them closer together. Instead Pia had had to deal with all the crap on her own.
He found himself wanting to fix the problem—even though it had happened over a decade ago. Still, the need was there, to do something. To act.
“She’s had boyfriends, you know,” Bella announced.
“I’m sure she has.”
“They never stay. Poor girl. I don’t know what goes wrong, but they leave.”
Not a conversation he wanted to be having with Bella, he thought. His gaze once again returned to Pia. She’d had a difficult road and her life was about to get three times more complicated. Who was going to take care of her? Who would be there when she needed help?
He knew she had friends and they would help. The town would pull through. Fool’s Gold seemed like that kind of place. But on a day-to-day basis, Pia would be on her own.
He wondered if she’d thought that part through. If she knew what she was getting into. She turned and met his gaze in the mirror, then smiled. He winked at her and she returned her attention to her conversation.
He’d been in love twice in his life. He and his first girlfriend had grown apart, and Caro had betrayed every part of their marriage vows. He wasn’t looking to feel that way ever again. Not getting involved was safer. But there was still the reality of wanting a family—needing that connection. He couldn’t have one without the other. Or so he’d always believed.
“I CAN HEAR YOU,” Pia yelled through the closed bathroom door.
“I’m just sitting. There’s nothing to hear.”
Even so, she was sure there were noises. Or maybe the problem was there weren’t. Talk about pressure, she thought as she stood and pulled up her bikini panties and jeans. Is this what it was like to be a guy? Pure performance anxiety?
She opened the bathroom door.
“I can’t do this with you in the room,” she said, then held up a hand. “Don’t bother saying you’re not in the room. It’s practically the same thing.”
Raoul shook his head as he got to his feet and turned to face her. Laughter brightened his dark eyes. “Can’t stand the heat, huh?” he teased.
“The heat isn’t the problem.”
“Have you tried turning on the faucet? The sound of running water might help.”
“I’m not going to stand here having a conversation with you about my inability to pee.”
“You already are.”
She rolled her eyes, then pointed at the front door. “Go stand in the hall until I’m done.”
“I’ve had my tongue in your mouth.”
“So not the point.”
“We can have sex, but I can’t be in the next room while you go to the bathroom?”
“Exactly.”
“Fine.” He crossed the room and let himself out. Then he stuck his head back in. “What should I tell the neighbors if they ask why I’m loitering?”
“Don’t make me kill you.”
He laughed and shut the door behind him.
“Men,” she muttered, then returned to the bathroom and pulled down her pants.
After sitting on the toilet, she turned on the faucet and reached for the plastic stick from the pregnancy test. Everything was fine, she told herself. She peed several times a day. It didn’t require a lot of thought or effort. It was natural. Easy.
But at that moment, it felt far from easy. It felt impossible. She turned off the water, tried humming, shifting, breathing more slowly. Her bladder stubbornly refused to empty.
Never again, she told herself. Pregnancy was too hard. When she finally managed to pee on the stick, she was going to get ice cream. The fact that it was chilly outside didn’t matter. She wanted a hot fudge sundae with whipped…
“Oh, no!”
When she’d finally stopped paying attention, her body had responded. She did her thing with the stick, set it on a tissue, then got up, flushed and pulled up her pants. After washing her hands, she walked out to get Raoul.
“Finally,” he said when she opened the door. “Success?”
“I have peed.”
“I’m so proud.”
“Be nice or I’ll make you touch it.”
She went back into the bathroom and carefully carried out the stick on the tissue and set it on a paper towel on the kitchen counter.
“How long?”
“Just a few minutes.”
They stared at the little screen, which showed an hourglass. She could hear the faint ticking of a clock and feel the rapid thudding of her heart. According to the test, the result would announce her condition. Pregnant or not pregnant. As simple as that.
She didn’t allow herself to speculate. Part of her was afraid that she’d lost Crystal’s babies—that they hadn’t been able to hang on. But another part of her was terrified they had.
Raoul put his arm around her. She leaned into him and hung on.
The screen changed and she saw a single word.
Pregnant.
There was no misunderstanding that.
Her body went cold, then seemed to heat from the inside. Her stomach flopped over, making her wonder if she was going to throw up. Reality loomed, like a really big storm, but she couldn’t take it all in. Pregnant. She was pregnant.
“You did it!” Raoul crowed, then grabbed her around the waist and spun her in the center of the room. “You’re going to be a mom.”
He sounded delighted. She felt like she was going to pass out, although that could have been from the world blurring around her.
A mom? Her? “I can’t,” she whispered.
He set her down. “Sure you can. This is great, Pia. The embryos implanted. This is great news.”
Intellectually, she could agree. This is what Crystal wanted. But in her gut, she was deathly afraid of screwing up.
“I have to sit down,” she said, making her way over to a kitchen chair and dropping onto it. She closed her eyes and focused on breathing.
Pregnant. Right now there were babies growing inside of her. Babies who would be born and become actual children, then real people. Babies who would depend on her and expect her to take care of them.
Raoul pulled up a chair and sat across from her. He took her hand in his. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think I can do this. I can’t have children. I don’t know how.”
“Don’t they do all the hard work themselves?”
“The forming and growing, maybe, but then what? They’re going to have expectations. I’m not prepared for this.”
He leaned toward her. “You have eight and a half months and I’ll help.”
“You’re going to be my pregnancy buddy.” She pulled her hand free and stood. “Don’t get me wrong—I appreciate the support. But I’m less concerned about being pregnant than what comes after. I’m going to have to buy stuff. I haven’t got a clue what. There must be a list somewhere, right? On the Internet?”
He rose. “I’m sure there is.”
“And I’ll need to move. This place is too small. I’ll need a house.” She made okay money, but it wasn’t a fortune. Could she afford a house? “And there’s college. I should start saving, but I don’t know what to invest in. I don’t understand the stock market.”
He moved close and put his hands on her shoulders. “One thing at a time,” he told her. “Relax. Breathe. I can help with all this. We’ll find you a great place, and I can get you the best investment advice available. It’s going to be okay, Pia. I promise.”
She nodded, because that was the expected thing to do. And sure, he would help and she would appreciate it. But when the babies were born, his work was done. He would walk away and she would be left on her own. With triplets.
“THIS IS FUN,” JENNY SAID as she ran the wand over Pia’s belly. “I don’t usually do ultrasounds this early.” She kept her gaze on the monitor. “You know we won’t be able to see anything specific. Just whether the embryos have implanted.”
“I know,” Pia whispered, hanging on to Raoul’s hand with all her strength. Under normal circumstances she would worry about hurting him, but he was a tough football player. She was sure he could take it.
Besides, he’d offered to come with her to the doctor’s office. If any part of this freaked him out, he would have to deal with it himself.
She’d had less than forty-eight hours to get used to the idea of being pregnant. So far the information hadn’t become any more real. She alternated between shock and panic. Neither was especially comfortable.
She’d tried a little reading from the pregnancy books she’d bought, but that only made things worse. Knowing the statistical odds of getting hemorrhoids by the end of term wasn’t exactly the sort of information she was looking for.
“Okay,” Jenny said cheerfully. “Let me get the doctor.”
Pia waited until the tech left, then turned to Raoul. “Did we know she was going to do that? Is it okay she’s getting Dr. Galloway?”
He bent over her, smoothing her hair back with his free hand. “It’s fine. She said she would be getting the doctor before she started. This is all routine, Pia. You’re doing great.”
Did all mothers-to-be feel such a numbing sense of responsibility? Because whatever happened wasn’t just about her—it was also about Crystal and Keith.
