Finding Perfect
Page 27
His face fell. “Oh. Right. I should probably go talk to her, huh?”
Dakota patted his arm. “Don’t take it personally. You can’t help it, just being a man and all.”
PIA TOLD HERSELF THAT pacing counted as exercise and exercise was healthy. It’s not as if her body knew she was wearing a path in Raoul’s carpet rather than striding through the park or doing time on a treadmill. Life was about reframing, she told herself.
“Would you relax?” Raoul walked into the living room and crossed to her. After putting his hands on her shoulders, he leaned in and kissed her. “They’re going to love you.”
“Do you have proof? Because proof would be nice.”
“They’ll love you,” he repeated.
“Saying something over and over again doesn’t make it happen. No matter how many times I tell you I’m a giraffe, you’re not going to believe me.”
He eyed her. “Have you had coffee today?”
“No. This isn’t me hyped on caffeine. I’m doing this all myself.”
“You should try breathing.”
As if that would help. “What if I don’t want to meet them?” she asked. “I’m sure they’re very nice people, but this all seems so unnecessary. I’ll be taking up your visiting time. Why don’t you meet them by yourself and tell me about it. You can take pictures. It’ll be like I was there.”
“I’d rather you were there.”
“Think of the babies. All this stress can’t be good for them. I think I need to throw up.”
“Relax,” he said softly, right before he kissed her.
It was a good kiss, too, damn him. One that lingered and made her feel all melty inside.
“That’s cheating,” she said when he straightened.
“I prefer to think of it as getting the job done.”
“It’s still cheating.”
He stared into her eyes. “I’m going to marry you, Pia. Hawk and Nicole are my family, so they’ll be part of your life, as well. Why put off the inevitable?”
“Because putting it off makes me feel better.” She heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Her stomach twisted. “I think they’re here.”
He took her hand and led her to the front door, then stepped outside.
A large four-door BMW pulled up. Pia wasn’t sure there was a name or number, mostly because she couldn’t tell one fancy car from the other. Okay, it was green, but that was the best she could do.
As she thought seriously about throwing up, she watched a tall, good-looking man step out. Based on what she knew about Hawk, he had to be in his late forties, but he looked a lot younger. Then his wife got out of the car. She was a beautiful, elegant blonde. Despite the jeans and button-down shirt, she looked sophisticated—like the kind of woman who always knew what to say.
Pia held in a whimper.
“You made it,” Raoul said as he stepped off the porch. He walked to Hawk and the two men hugged. Nicole joined them. Raoul kissed her cheek. She held on to him for several seconds before letting go and stepping back.
“Small-town life agrees with you,” she said. “You look good.”
“Always,” Raoul said with a laugh. “Come meet Pia.”
She’d agonized about what to wear, wanting to make a good impression without trying too hard. There was also the pregnancy to consider. Despite having puffy and bloated moments, she wasn’t really showing. In the end, she’d settled on a tunic-length forest green top over black jeans. As a tour of the town was on the agenda, she’d put on flats.
“Hello,” she said, holding out her hand first to Hawk. “Nice to meet you.”
“Didn’t you warn her?” Hawk asked as he ignored the outstretched hand. Instead he grabbed her around her waist and pulled her into a bear hug. “Welcome to the family, Pia.” He swung her around a full 360 degrees before setting her on the ground.
“Thanks,” she managed while doing her best to regain her footing.
“You’ll scare the poor girl,” Nicole said, stepping close and hugging Pia more gently. “He’s just a big lug of a man. You’ll have to forgive him.”
“Of course,” Pia said, feeling a little disoriented. She’d been worried about Raoul’s family judging her and being standoffish. Apparently that wasn’t going to be a problem.
Nicole linked arms with her and they walked inside. “I understand you and Raoul are looking for a house. That’s so fun. Hawk and I have been in our place forever now. And as much as I love my children, I am, I confess, delighted to be away from them for a few days.”
“Raoul said you drove down from Seattle.”
“Yes, we’re going to Los Angeles.”
“Road trip,” Hawk said, coming in with Raoul. “One of my former students is playing for USC. We’re going to catch a game, then drive home.”
“I said let’s fly,” Nicole told Pia, her tone weary but her eyes bright with amusement. “We could have stopped in Sacramento and rented a car to come here. But no…”
She released Pia’s arm. Hawk came up behind Nicole and slipped his arms around her waist. “Are you saying you haven’t enjoyed being in a hotel room with me for the past two nights?”
“Hawk! The children.”
Pia wanted to point out that she was twenty-eight and that Raoul was a few years older than her, but she didn’t. In a way it was kind of nice to have someone a little older than her worrying about her. It had been a lot of years since that had happened.
Hawk kissed his wife. “Nicole, I hate to break it to you, but they’ve already had sex. They know what it is.”
Pia hoped she wasn’t blushing.
Raoul caught her eye and grinned. “See what I have to deal with?” Everyone laughed.
They settled on the sofa and chairs in the living room and talked. Nicole brought Raoul up to date on what her kids were doing. Hawk and Raoul talked football. Pia mostly listened. After about half an hour, Raoul stood.
“Let’s do a tour of town. Then we can have lunch.”
“Want us to drive?” Hawk asked.
Raoul shook his head. “We’ll walk. There’s not that much to see.”
As they walked down the sidewalk, Pia noticed that Nicole kept pace with her while Hawk and Raoul seemed to be getting ahead of them. She recognized the separation of the sexes for what it was.
“Why don’t you two meet us at the restaurant in an hour,” Nicole called. “Go talk about sports. I get enough of that at home.” The older woman smiled. “We can entertain ourselves until then.”
Pia forced a smile and told herself that Nicole seemed really nice. Everything was going to be fine.
They strolled down by the park, toward the lake. Pia pointed out Morgan’s Books, the store with the fabulous fudge and the entrance to her office. She noticed there were a lot more men out and about than usual, but she didn’t want to bring that up. Telling Nicole about Fool’s Gold’s sudden influx of men would probably scare her.
They chatted about the weather, reality TV and how it would be a good thing if cropped pants never came back in style.
Nicole pointed to the Starbucks. “Come on. I’d kill for a latte.”
When they had their drinks—a mocha for Nicole and an herbal tea for Pia—they settled at a table by the window. Pia did her best not to acknowledge the men watching them.
“Raoul mentioned you’re in charge of the festivals in town,” Nicole said. “Thanks for taking time off work to meet us.”
“I wanted to,” Pia said, telling herself that now that she’d met Nicole, it wasn’t exactly a lie. “You’re his family.”
“He’s been important to us for a long time.” She glanced out the window and sighed. “I love it here. What a great place to grow up.”
“We do have less rain than Seattle.”
“I think the Amazon jungle has less rain than Seattle,” Nicole joked. “I was worried about Raoul after his divorce. He couldn’t figure out what to do with himself. I thought he’d come back home, but this is better. He needs to make his own way. Hawk was lucky. When he left the NFL, he knew he wanted to coach high school football. Not everyone is so clear.”
“You know about the camp Raoul bought?” Pia asked.
“Uh-huh. It sounds great. And now there’s a school up there?”
Pia explained about the fire. “It’s probably going to take a couple of years for the regular school to be repaired. They’re hoping to get the money quickly and get started, but who knows. Without the camp, the kids would have been shoved into already crowded schools.”
“Raoul is hero material,” Nicole said with a smile. “He gets that from Hawk.”
From what she’d heard, the couple had been together for a long time, yet they were still obviously in love. Pia felt a twinge of envy. Loving someone that long, being loved…it had to feel very safe and yet exciting at the same time. For a second she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to experience that herself. To have love grow stronger every year.
Longing filled her, a physical ache that made it difficult to breathe. She wasn’t going to get that with Raoul. Theirs was a practical arrangement. Perhaps, with time, they would grow to love each other, but it wouldn’t be the same, she thought sadly. The history of a courtship would never be there. The “falling in love” that made everything seem right in the world.
Nicole leaned over and touched Pia’s left hand. “Beautiful ring.”
“Thank you.” She pressed her lips together, telling herself not to say she hadn’t been expecting a ring at all—let alone one this amazing.
“We’re happy Raoul’s found someone.”
The statement made Pia nervous. She couldn’t tell if Nicole knew why they were getting married. Though she was willing to stay quiet on the whys of the engagement, she wasn’t willing to lie about the pregnancy.
“Did Raoul tell you I was pregnant?” Pia asked.
Nicole raised her eyebrows, then laughed. “No, he didn’t. How wonderful. Raoul’s finally having a child. Excellent.”
She felt as if she’d just stepped into something sticky. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Nicole laughed. “Much like pregnancy itself, there’s no do-over. Sorry. Besides, I’m really happy. For what it’s worth, I was pregnant when Hawk and I got married.”
“Yes, but it was probably his baby.”
To give her credit, Nicole barely blinked. She picked up her mocha, took a sip and said, “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
PIA EXPLAINED ABOUT Crystal and Keith and the embryos. “I’m still not sure why she left them to me, but she did and they’re implanted and I’m pregnant.”
“Triplets,” Nicole said. “I’m a twin and I had twins, so I know what that’s like. You’re going to have three. That’s a lot of diapers.”
“I try not to think about it,” Pia admitted. Or feedings, or getting them all to sleep at the same time. In fact, she was pretty much in denial.
“What did Raoul say when you told him what you wanted to do?” Nicole asked.
She was assuming they’d been dating, Pia thought. That the embryos had added an extra dimension to an already ongoing relationship.
“He offered to be my pregnancy buddy,” she said, determined to stick to the truth as much as possible.
“That sounds like him.” Nicole studied her. “You could have walked away from them.”
“No,” Pia said firmly. “I would never abandon them.” She knew what that felt like.
“What about giving them to someone else?”
Pia shook her head. “Crystal left them to me. I may never know why, but I’ll do the best I can with her children. She was my friend.”
Nicole reached out and squeezed her hand. “You’re nothing like Caro, are you?”
“I don’t know much about her. What was she like?”
Nicole released her hand and leaned back in her chair. “Beautiful. Smart. She’s a news anchor.”
Pia already hated her. “Great.”
Nicole laughed. “Please don’t tell Raoul, but that was my reaction when I met her. She says all the right things, but I always had the feeling she would rather have been anywhere but with us. I want to say I’m sorry about their divorce, but honestly I was relieved. I’m so glad he found you.”
“Me, too,” Pia said. Maybe theirs wasn’t the fantasy love every little girl dreamed of, but it was stable and solid and for her, that was going to be enough.
RAOUL AND HAWK made their way to Jo’s Bar.
“Brace yourself,” Raoul said as he pulled open the door. “It’s not what you think.”
Hawk stepped inside, then came to a stop as he stared at the big-screen TVs. Three were on the network soaps and the fourth was on a home shopping channel.
“What the hell?”
“Don’t ask,” Raoul told him, then glanced toward the bar. “Jo, could you send over two beers?”
“Sure. Going into your man cave?”
“As fast as we can.” He pointed to the doorway off to the side. “Through there. You’ll feel better.”
The smaller room had a couple of pool tables, a couple of TVs tuned to sports and was a masculine dark blue color. A relief from the pink and lime green Jo had recently painted the main room. For once it was relatively crowded with men, most of whom Raoul didn’t recognize.
Dakota patted his arm. “Don’t take it personally. You can’t help it, just being a man and all.”
PIA TOLD HERSELF THAT pacing counted as exercise and exercise was healthy. It’s not as if her body knew she was wearing a path in Raoul’s carpet rather than striding through the park or doing time on a treadmill. Life was about reframing, she told herself.
“Would you relax?” Raoul walked into the living room and crossed to her. After putting his hands on her shoulders, he leaned in and kissed her. “They’re going to love you.”
“Do you have proof? Because proof would be nice.”
“They’ll love you,” he repeated.
“Saying something over and over again doesn’t make it happen. No matter how many times I tell you I’m a giraffe, you’re not going to believe me.”
He eyed her. “Have you had coffee today?”
“No. This isn’t me hyped on caffeine. I’m doing this all myself.”
“You should try breathing.”
As if that would help. “What if I don’t want to meet them?” she asked. “I’m sure they’re very nice people, but this all seems so unnecessary. I’ll be taking up your visiting time. Why don’t you meet them by yourself and tell me about it. You can take pictures. It’ll be like I was there.”
“I’d rather you were there.”
“Think of the babies. All this stress can’t be good for them. I think I need to throw up.”
“Relax,” he said softly, right before he kissed her.
It was a good kiss, too, damn him. One that lingered and made her feel all melty inside.
“That’s cheating,” she said when he straightened.
“I prefer to think of it as getting the job done.”
“It’s still cheating.”
He stared into her eyes. “I’m going to marry you, Pia. Hawk and Nicole are my family, so they’ll be part of your life, as well. Why put off the inevitable?”
“Because putting it off makes me feel better.” She heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Her stomach twisted. “I think they’re here.”
He took her hand and led her to the front door, then stepped outside.
A large four-door BMW pulled up. Pia wasn’t sure there was a name or number, mostly because she couldn’t tell one fancy car from the other. Okay, it was green, but that was the best she could do.
As she thought seriously about throwing up, she watched a tall, good-looking man step out. Based on what she knew about Hawk, he had to be in his late forties, but he looked a lot younger. Then his wife got out of the car. She was a beautiful, elegant blonde. Despite the jeans and button-down shirt, she looked sophisticated—like the kind of woman who always knew what to say.
Pia held in a whimper.
“You made it,” Raoul said as he stepped off the porch. He walked to Hawk and the two men hugged. Nicole joined them. Raoul kissed her cheek. She held on to him for several seconds before letting go and stepping back.
“Small-town life agrees with you,” she said. “You look good.”
“Always,” Raoul said with a laugh. “Come meet Pia.”
She’d agonized about what to wear, wanting to make a good impression without trying too hard. There was also the pregnancy to consider. Despite having puffy and bloated moments, she wasn’t really showing. In the end, she’d settled on a tunic-length forest green top over black jeans. As a tour of the town was on the agenda, she’d put on flats.
“Hello,” she said, holding out her hand first to Hawk. “Nice to meet you.”
“Didn’t you warn her?” Hawk asked as he ignored the outstretched hand. Instead he grabbed her around her waist and pulled her into a bear hug. “Welcome to the family, Pia.” He swung her around a full 360 degrees before setting her on the ground.
“Thanks,” she managed while doing her best to regain her footing.
“You’ll scare the poor girl,” Nicole said, stepping close and hugging Pia more gently. “He’s just a big lug of a man. You’ll have to forgive him.”
“Of course,” Pia said, feeling a little disoriented. She’d been worried about Raoul’s family judging her and being standoffish. Apparently that wasn’t going to be a problem.
Nicole linked arms with her and they walked inside. “I understand you and Raoul are looking for a house. That’s so fun. Hawk and I have been in our place forever now. And as much as I love my children, I am, I confess, delighted to be away from them for a few days.”
“Raoul said you drove down from Seattle.”
“Yes, we’re going to Los Angeles.”
“Road trip,” Hawk said, coming in with Raoul. “One of my former students is playing for USC. We’re going to catch a game, then drive home.”
“I said let’s fly,” Nicole told Pia, her tone weary but her eyes bright with amusement. “We could have stopped in Sacramento and rented a car to come here. But no…”
She released Pia’s arm. Hawk came up behind Nicole and slipped his arms around her waist. “Are you saying you haven’t enjoyed being in a hotel room with me for the past two nights?”
“Hawk! The children.”
Pia wanted to point out that she was twenty-eight and that Raoul was a few years older than her, but she didn’t. In a way it was kind of nice to have someone a little older than her worrying about her. It had been a lot of years since that had happened.
Hawk kissed his wife. “Nicole, I hate to break it to you, but they’ve already had sex. They know what it is.”
Pia hoped she wasn’t blushing.
Raoul caught her eye and grinned. “See what I have to deal with?” Everyone laughed.
They settled on the sofa and chairs in the living room and talked. Nicole brought Raoul up to date on what her kids were doing. Hawk and Raoul talked football. Pia mostly listened. After about half an hour, Raoul stood.
“Let’s do a tour of town. Then we can have lunch.”
“Want us to drive?” Hawk asked.
Raoul shook his head. “We’ll walk. There’s not that much to see.”
As they walked down the sidewalk, Pia noticed that Nicole kept pace with her while Hawk and Raoul seemed to be getting ahead of them. She recognized the separation of the sexes for what it was.
“Why don’t you two meet us at the restaurant in an hour,” Nicole called. “Go talk about sports. I get enough of that at home.” The older woman smiled. “We can entertain ourselves until then.”
Pia forced a smile and told herself that Nicole seemed really nice. Everything was going to be fine.
They strolled down by the park, toward the lake. Pia pointed out Morgan’s Books, the store with the fabulous fudge and the entrance to her office. She noticed there were a lot more men out and about than usual, but she didn’t want to bring that up. Telling Nicole about Fool’s Gold’s sudden influx of men would probably scare her.
They chatted about the weather, reality TV and how it would be a good thing if cropped pants never came back in style.
Nicole pointed to the Starbucks. “Come on. I’d kill for a latte.”
When they had their drinks—a mocha for Nicole and an herbal tea for Pia—they settled at a table by the window. Pia did her best not to acknowledge the men watching them.
“Raoul mentioned you’re in charge of the festivals in town,” Nicole said. “Thanks for taking time off work to meet us.”
“I wanted to,” Pia said, telling herself that now that she’d met Nicole, it wasn’t exactly a lie. “You’re his family.”
“He’s been important to us for a long time.” She glanced out the window and sighed. “I love it here. What a great place to grow up.”
“We do have less rain than Seattle.”
“I think the Amazon jungle has less rain than Seattle,” Nicole joked. “I was worried about Raoul after his divorce. He couldn’t figure out what to do with himself. I thought he’d come back home, but this is better. He needs to make his own way. Hawk was lucky. When he left the NFL, he knew he wanted to coach high school football. Not everyone is so clear.”
“You know about the camp Raoul bought?” Pia asked.
“Uh-huh. It sounds great. And now there’s a school up there?”
Pia explained about the fire. “It’s probably going to take a couple of years for the regular school to be repaired. They’re hoping to get the money quickly and get started, but who knows. Without the camp, the kids would have been shoved into already crowded schools.”
“Raoul is hero material,” Nicole said with a smile. “He gets that from Hawk.”
From what she’d heard, the couple had been together for a long time, yet they were still obviously in love. Pia felt a twinge of envy. Loving someone that long, being loved…it had to feel very safe and yet exciting at the same time. For a second she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to experience that herself. To have love grow stronger every year.
Longing filled her, a physical ache that made it difficult to breathe. She wasn’t going to get that with Raoul. Theirs was a practical arrangement. Perhaps, with time, they would grow to love each other, but it wouldn’t be the same, she thought sadly. The history of a courtship would never be there. The “falling in love” that made everything seem right in the world.
Nicole leaned over and touched Pia’s left hand. “Beautiful ring.”
“Thank you.” She pressed her lips together, telling herself not to say she hadn’t been expecting a ring at all—let alone one this amazing.
“We’re happy Raoul’s found someone.”
The statement made Pia nervous. She couldn’t tell if Nicole knew why they were getting married. Though she was willing to stay quiet on the whys of the engagement, she wasn’t willing to lie about the pregnancy.
“Did Raoul tell you I was pregnant?” Pia asked.
Nicole raised her eyebrows, then laughed. “No, he didn’t. How wonderful. Raoul’s finally having a child. Excellent.”
She felt as if she’d just stepped into something sticky. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Nicole laughed. “Much like pregnancy itself, there’s no do-over. Sorry. Besides, I’m really happy. For what it’s worth, I was pregnant when Hawk and I got married.”
“Yes, but it was probably his baby.”
To give her credit, Nicole barely blinked. She picked up her mocha, took a sip and said, “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
PIA EXPLAINED ABOUT Crystal and Keith and the embryos. “I’m still not sure why she left them to me, but she did and they’re implanted and I’m pregnant.”
“Triplets,” Nicole said. “I’m a twin and I had twins, so I know what that’s like. You’re going to have three. That’s a lot of diapers.”
“I try not to think about it,” Pia admitted. Or feedings, or getting them all to sleep at the same time. In fact, she was pretty much in denial.
“What did Raoul say when you told him what you wanted to do?” Nicole asked.
She was assuming they’d been dating, Pia thought. That the embryos had added an extra dimension to an already ongoing relationship.
“He offered to be my pregnancy buddy,” she said, determined to stick to the truth as much as possible.
“That sounds like him.” Nicole studied her. “You could have walked away from them.”
“No,” Pia said firmly. “I would never abandon them.” She knew what that felt like.
“What about giving them to someone else?”
Pia shook her head. “Crystal left them to me. I may never know why, but I’ll do the best I can with her children. She was my friend.”
Nicole reached out and squeezed her hand. “You’re nothing like Caro, are you?”
“I don’t know much about her. What was she like?”
Nicole released her hand and leaned back in her chair. “Beautiful. Smart. She’s a news anchor.”
Pia already hated her. “Great.”
Nicole laughed. “Please don’t tell Raoul, but that was my reaction when I met her. She says all the right things, but I always had the feeling she would rather have been anywhere but with us. I want to say I’m sorry about their divorce, but honestly I was relieved. I’m so glad he found you.”
“Me, too,” Pia said. Maybe theirs wasn’t the fantasy love every little girl dreamed of, but it was stable and solid and for her, that was going to be enough.
RAOUL AND HAWK made their way to Jo’s Bar.
“Brace yourself,” Raoul said as he pulled open the door. “It’s not what you think.”
Hawk stepped inside, then came to a stop as he stared at the big-screen TVs. Three were on the network soaps and the fourth was on a home shopping channel.
“What the hell?”
“Don’t ask,” Raoul told him, then glanced toward the bar. “Jo, could you send over two beers?”
“Sure. Going into your man cave?”
“As fast as we can.” He pointed to the doorway off to the side. “Through there. You’ll feel better.”
The smaller room had a couple of pool tables, a couple of TVs tuned to sports and was a masculine dark blue color. A relief from the pink and lime green Jo had recently painted the main room. For once it was relatively crowded with men, most of whom Raoul didn’t recognize.
