Finding Perfect
Page 37
“Did she say how he looked?”
“No.” Charity studied her. “You really do love him, don’t you?”
“You sound surprised.”
“I thought this would disillusion you.”
“No. He has a good heart and he’s a good guy. None of this is easy for him.”
She thought about his past, how Caro had betrayed him. How he was afraid to trust.
“Everyone needs to give him a break,” she said firmly.
Charity hesitated. “Marsha thinks he might be leaving town.”
Pia’s breath caught. “Leaving? Why? He’s settled here. He has the camp, which is what brought him here. There are plans for special classes and intensive learning. He would never give that up.” The camp represented his future.
She looked at her friend. “There’s no way he would make the decision on his own. What happened? Did Marsha run him out of town?”
“No, but she made it clear she was disappointed. How will he handle that?”
“I don’t know,” Pia admitted. Would he leave? If he didn’t feel comfortable in town, he might. She hated the thought of Fool’s Gold without him.
“I’m sorry,” Charity told her.
“Me, too,” Pia said. “I want him here. I want him to stay. While I’m at it, I want him to love me back.”
“You don’t get to decide any of that,” her friend reminded her.
If only things could be different, Pia thought sadly. But they weren’t.
RAOUL’S PLAN TO WAIT until dark lasted about an hour. He paced in his office, tried working, then had to fight the need to throw the damn computer across the room.
He was furious and ashamed and disappointed—all with himself.
He’d come here with big ideas for finding the right place, the right way to give back. Being like Hawk, changing lives, had driven him. Everything about Fool’s Gold had appealed to him. The friendly small town had made him feel welcome. Then what had he done? Blown it.
Years ago, in college, he’d screwed up big-time. Hawk had been the one to get him back on track. Since then, Raoul had managed to find his way on his own. Until now.
He couldn’t figure out where it had all gone wrong. With Pia, he supposed it had been when he’d offered to marry her so he could have everything he wanted without putting any part of himself on the line. He’d taken the easy, safe way out, and it had all gone to hell.
He should have known he couldn’t have it all for free. That was like making a deal with the devil. If it looked too good to be true, it was.
As for Peter, he’d simply stepped in it with the kid. His motivations had all been aboveboard, but somewhere along the way, he’d forgotten he was dealing with a ten-year-old boy’s heart. He’d befriended Peter, wanting only to save the kid. Instead he’d hurt him again.
Unable to stand the confines of his office, he stalked to the door and opened it. He half expected an angry mob with pitchforks waiting for him, but the town looked as it always had. The turning leaves fluttered in a light breeze. The sky was blue, the sun a little lower in the horizon than it had been a month ago. Winter was coming.
He’d wanted to see the town in snow, to experience the changing seasons. He’d wanted to ski at the resort, to lie with Pia by a fire, to watch her grow heavy with their two babies. It didn’t take much effort to add Peter to the mix. He could see the boy playing by the fire, or laughing as he and Raoul played video games.
As he stepped out into the afternoon, he realized the solution was obvious and simple. He could have them both, if he was willing to hand over all he was. What had Josh said? Heart, soul and balls. Without Pia, he had no use for them anyway. As for Peter, the kid probably deserved better, but Raoul hoped he was willing to accept what was offered.
He half expected the heavens to open and angels to sing. He got it. He really got it. After all this time and running to avoid the only thing he wanted, he understood the point.
It wasn’t about giving money or loaning a camp to a school. It was about giving all he had, all he was. It was about risking his heart.
Pia, he thought frantically. He had to get to Pia.
He turned toward her office, only to nearly run into a half dozen middle-aged women. They were staring at him purposefully, which wasn’t a good thing.
“Hi,” the one in front said. “I’m Denise Hendrix. Dakota’s mother? We met at the Fall Festival.”
He held in a groan. “Yes. Nice to see you again.” He nodded at the other women. “Ladies.”
The other women stared at him without responding. He noticed Bella in the crowd, but she didn’t look as happy as she had the day she’d also helped rescue him from the overaggressive tourists.
“We need to talk to you,” Denise told him.
“This isn’t a good time for me.”
“Do we look like we’re getting any younger?” the oldest in the group snapped. “You’ll listen, young man, and you’ll listen good. We have ways of making your life a living hell. Do you really want to test us on that?”
Like any good sportsman, he knew when he’d met a superior opponent. “No, ma’am.”
“I didn’t think so.” She sniffed. “Go on, Denise.”
“We’ve been talking,” Dakota’s mother told him. “We looked you up on the Internet. I don’t know what went wrong with your first wife, but she wasn’t anyone we would trust.”
The other women nodded in agreement.
“You’ve been single a few years now, so you’re obviously over her. You came here to settle down, which shows you’re intelligent. You seem like a nice enough man.”
Obviously these women hadn’t been talking to Mayor Marsha, he thought grimly.
“But you’re stuck.”
Bella pushed through the other women and moved in front of him. “Pia loves you, so we want her to have you.”
Denise patted her friend’s arm. “Bella, I think we need to be more delicate. Raoul might not know he’s in love with Pia. We might have to explain things.”
“He gets it,” another woman said. “How could he not? She’s wonderful. If he doesn’t love her, he doesn’t deserve her.”
“I agree,” someone else said. “But I’ve said it before. If we wait for the man we deserve, we’ll never get married.”
“At least he’s handsome.”
“And rich.”
“He has nice, thick hair,” Bella told them.
“And a great butt.”
The last comment was Raoul’s tipping point. “Ladies,” he said loudly. “I appreciate the intervention. I know Pia will be grateful when she hears of your very vocal support.” Humiliated, he thought while smiling for the first time in hours, but grateful.
“However, this is between me and Pia. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to her.”
Denise grabbed his arm in a surprisingly strong grip. “Not so fast. What are you going to say?”
He stared at them all. While he could easily tell them it wasn’t their business, he hadn’t changed his mind about settling here. Fool’s Gold was going to be his home for a very long time, and these women were his neighbors.
“The truth,” he said simply. “That I’m desperately in love with her and I’m begging her to give me a second chance.”
Several of the women sighed.
Denise gave him a shove. “Don’t just stand there,” she said. “Go find her.”
He took off at a jog, trying to figure out where to go first. It was midafternoon. He would start with her office and spread out from there.
He took the stairs two at a time and burst onto the landing. Her door stood partially open. He hurried toward it, aware of voices down by the first-floor entrance. Ignoring them, he pushed open Pia’s door and found her alone in her small office.
She looked much as she had the first time he’d seen her. Pretty with curly brown hair and bright, hazel eyes that showed every emotion. The difference was now he knew that she was kind and loving, funny and smart. That she was rational and compassionate, even when panicked, that she gave with her whole heart and that he could search the world and never find anyone even close to her.
She looked up, startled. “Raoul. Are you okay? I heard about Marsha’s visit and I want to tell you I had nothing to do with that.”
“I know.”
“She’s upset, but no one wants you to leave town.”
“Good, because I’m not going.”
“Really? Well, that’s great. I mean of course you can live where you want. This is a free country. Sometimes small towns have an inflated sense of themselves.”
He moved around the desk and drew her to her feet. Her gaze flickered, as if she was afraid to stare directly at him.
“Pia?”
“Yes.”
“Look at me.”
She sighed, then did as he requested.
He knew her face. He’d seen it hundreds of times. But he would never get tired of seeing her and touching her. Only her, he thought. He would take the chance with her, because he didn’t have a choice. Without her, he was only half-alive.
“I offered you a marriage of convenience,” he began. “Because I wasn’t willing to get involved again. My first marriage ended badly. I’d made a mistake and I didn’t know where I’d gone wrong. Rather than figure that out, I decided to never take the chance again.”
Her fingers were warm against his. He felt her faint trembling. While he wanted to reassure her, he knew he had to tell her the truth, first.
“What Caro did was wrong, but I don’t believe she meant to betray me. Her career mattered more than anything else. I’d known that, but I didn’t think through what that meant. I wanted a wife and a family. She said the right words, and I took them at face value because it gave me what was important to me. I think she knew I wouldn’t like hearing that she wanted to wait to start a family.”
He brought one of Pia’s hands to his mouth and kissed her palm.
“I moved here, thinking it would be easy,” he continued.
“Foolish man.”
“Tell me about it. It wasn’t easy, but it was where I belonged. This is home. But it’s an empty, cold place without you.” He stared into her eyes. “I love you, Pia O’Brian. I was too stubborn and scared to admit it until now, but I love you. Please marry me. Not because it’s convenient, but because we can’t imagine life without each other.”
Hope brightened her face. Her lips curved into a smile.
Everything inside of him relaxed. She still cared. They could be together. Except…
“But it won’t just be us,” he told her. “You, me and the twins. There’s also Peter. I can’t leave him in the group home. I want to talk to Mrs. Dawson about adopting him.”
She bit her lower lip. “And if I say no to that?”
He tensed again, feeling the fist hit his gut. “We’re a package deal.”
Everything he’d ever wanted and needed hung on what she would say next. He wanted to tell her that he would take care of her forever. That he would always love her and their children. But he couldn’t bribe her into accepting. They both had to follow their hearts.
“Right answer,” she whispered. “And yes.”
Happiness exploded inside of him. He hauled her against him and kissed her with all the love and passion he had. Behind them he heard something that sounded like both cheering and sniffing. After a few seconds, he raised his head and glanced over his shoulder.
The women he’d met on the street all stood there, joined by the mayor and Mrs. Dawson.
“I’m so happy,” the social worker said, dabbing at her eyes. “You were cleared as an emergency foster parent when Peter went to stay with you the first time. You can go get him now.”
The other women nodded. Marsha smiled. “I knew you had it in you.”
“You didn’t say that earlier.”
“It wouldn’t have helped.”
Note to self, he thought, kissing Pia again. Do not get on the mayor’s bad side.
Pia wrapped her arms around Raoul’s neck and leaned against him. She’d hoped, prayed and done her best to believe it would all work out, but she’d also been scared. Scared that she would spend the rest of her life loving a man who wouldn’t love her back. It was nice to be wrong.
He kissed her again. Her insides started that melty thing, which was also very nice.
“We’ve got a lot to do,” he said, his forehead resting against hers. “Approve the house plans, get married, start birthing classes.”
She laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m really good at details. Right now there’s only one thing that matters.”
He nodded. “Peter.”
“Yes. He should be home from school by now. Let’s go tell him the good news.”
Raoul hesitated. “You’re sure about this? We’ll have three kids.”
“I’m sure.”
There were other considerations. Like the fact that being a mom to newborn twins and Peter probably meant she was going to need an assistant to help her with all the festivals. And that until their new house was built, things were going to be a little crowded in the rental. And that they should get married right away so she could move in with Raoul and Peter. But those were for later. Now they were off to make a little boy’s dreams come true.
PETER SAT ON THE NARROW bed he’d been assigned. This was the same group home he’d been in before, but the kids were different. Not so mean. No one teased him about crying himself to sleep every night.
“No.” Charity studied her. “You really do love him, don’t you?”
“You sound surprised.”
“I thought this would disillusion you.”
“No. He has a good heart and he’s a good guy. None of this is easy for him.”
She thought about his past, how Caro had betrayed him. How he was afraid to trust.
“Everyone needs to give him a break,” she said firmly.
Charity hesitated. “Marsha thinks he might be leaving town.”
Pia’s breath caught. “Leaving? Why? He’s settled here. He has the camp, which is what brought him here. There are plans for special classes and intensive learning. He would never give that up.” The camp represented his future.
She looked at her friend. “There’s no way he would make the decision on his own. What happened? Did Marsha run him out of town?”
“No, but she made it clear she was disappointed. How will he handle that?”
“I don’t know,” Pia admitted. Would he leave? If he didn’t feel comfortable in town, he might. She hated the thought of Fool’s Gold without him.
“I’m sorry,” Charity told her.
“Me, too,” Pia said. “I want him here. I want him to stay. While I’m at it, I want him to love me back.”
“You don’t get to decide any of that,” her friend reminded her.
If only things could be different, Pia thought sadly. But they weren’t.
RAOUL’S PLAN TO WAIT until dark lasted about an hour. He paced in his office, tried working, then had to fight the need to throw the damn computer across the room.
He was furious and ashamed and disappointed—all with himself.
He’d come here with big ideas for finding the right place, the right way to give back. Being like Hawk, changing lives, had driven him. Everything about Fool’s Gold had appealed to him. The friendly small town had made him feel welcome. Then what had he done? Blown it.
Years ago, in college, he’d screwed up big-time. Hawk had been the one to get him back on track. Since then, Raoul had managed to find his way on his own. Until now.
He couldn’t figure out where it had all gone wrong. With Pia, he supposed it had been when he’d offered to marry her so he could have everything he wanted without putting any part of himself on the line. He’d taken the easy, safe way out, and it had all gone to hell.
He should have known he couldn’t have it all for free. That was like making a deal with the devil. If it looked too good to be true, it was.
As for Peter, he’d simply stepped in it with the kid. His motivations had all been aboveboard, but somewhere along the way, he’d forgotten he was dealing with a ten-year-old boy’s heart. He’d befriended Peter, wanting only to save the kid. Instead he’d hurt him again.
Unable to stand the confines of his office, he stalked to the door and opened it. He half expected an angry mob with pitchforks waiting for him, but the town looked as it always had. The turning leaves fluttered in a light breeze. The sky was blue, the sun a little lower in the horizon than it had been a month ago. Winter was coming.
He’d wanted to see the town in snow, to experience the changing seasons. He’d wanted to ski at the resort, to lie with Pia by a fire, to watch her grow heavy with their two babies. It didn’t take much effort to add Peter to the mix. He could see the boy playing by the fire, or laughing as he and Raoul played video games.
As he stepped out into the afternoon, he realized the solution was obvious and simple. He could have them both, if he was willing to hand over all he was. What had Josh said? Heart, soul and balls. Without Pia, he had no use for them anyway. As for Peter, the kid probably deserved better, but Raoul hoped he was willing to accept what was offered.
He half expected the heavens to open and angels to sing. He got it. He really got it. After all this time and running to avoid the only thing he wanted, he understood the point.
It wasn’t about giving money or loaning a camp to a school. It was about giving all he had, all he was. It was about risking his heart.
Pia, he thought frantically. He had to get to Pia.
He turned toward her office, only to nearly run into a half dozen middle-aged women. They were staring at him purposefully, which wasn’t a good thing.
“Hi,” the one in front said. “I’m Denise Hendrix. Dakota’s mother? We met at the Fall Festival.”
He held in a groan. “Yes. Nice to see you again.” He nodded at the other women. “Ladies.”
The other women stared at him without responding. He noticed Bella in the crowd, but she didn’t look as happy as she had the day she’d also helped rescue him from the overaggressive tourists.
“We need to talk to you,” Denise told him.
“This isn’t a good time for me.”
“Do we look like we’re getting any younger?” the oldest in the group snapped. “You’ll listen, young man, and you’ll listen good. We have ways of making your life a living hell. Do you really want to test us on that?”
Like any good sportsman, he knew when he’d met a superior opponent. “No, ma’am.”
“I didn’t think so.” She sniffed. “Go on, Denise.”
“We’ve been talking,” Dakota’s mother told him. “We looked you up on the Internet. I don’t know what went wrong with your first wife, but she wasn’t anyone we would trust.”
The other women nodded in agreement.
“You’ve been single a few years now, so you’re obviously over her. You came here to settle down, which shows you’re intelligent. You seem like a nice enough man.”
Obviously these women hadn’t been talking to Mayor Marsha, he thought grimly.
“But you’re stuck.”
Bella pushed through the other women and moved in front of him. “Pia loves you, so we want her to have you.”
Denise patted her friend’s arm. “Bella, I think we need to be more delicate. Raoul might not know he’s in love with Pia. We might have to explain things.”
“He gets it,” another woman said. “How could he not? She’s wonderful. If he doesn’t love her, he doesn’t deserve her.”
“I agree,” someone else said. “But I’ve said it before. If we wait for the man we deserve, we’ll never get married.”
“At least he’s handsome.”
“And rich.”
“He has nice, thick hair,” Bella told them.
“And a great butt.”
The last comment was Raoul’s tipping point. “Ladies,” he said loudly. “I appreciate the intervention. I know Pia will be grateful when she hears of your very vocal support.” Humiliated, he thought while smiling for the first time in hours, but grateful.
“However, this is between me and Pia. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to her.”
Denise grabbed his arm in a surprisingly strong grip. “Not so fast. What are you going to say?”
He stared at them all. While he could easily tell them it wasn’t their business, he hadn’t changed his mind about settling here. Fool’s Gold was going to be his home for a very long time, and these women were his neighbors.
“The truth,” he said simply. “That I’m desperately in love with her and I’m begging her to give me a second chance.”
Several of the women sighed.
Denise gave him a shove. “Don’t just stand there,” she said. “Go find her.”
He took off at a jog, trying to figure out where to go first. It was midafternoon. He would start with her office and spread out from there.
He took the stairs two at a time and burst onto the landing. Her door stood partially open. He hurried toward it, aware of voices down by the first-floor entrance. Ignoring them, he pushed open Pia’s door and found her alone in her small office.
She looked much as she had the first time he’d seen her. Pretty with curly brown hair and bright, hazel eyes that showed every emotion. The difference was now he knew that she was kind and loving, funny and smart. That she was rational and compassionate, even when panicked, that she gave with her whole heart and that he could search the world and never find anyone even close to her.
She looked up, startled. “Raoul. Are you okay? I heard about Marsha’s visit and I want to tell you I had nothing to do with that.”
“I know.”
“She’s upset, but no one wants you to leave town.”
“Good, because I’m not going.”
“Really? Well, that’s great. I mean of course you can live where you want. This is a free country. Sometimes small towns have an inflated sense of themselves.”
He moved around the desk and drew her to her feet. Her gaze flickered, as if she was afraid to stare directly at him.
“Pia?”
“Yes.”
“Look at me.”
She sighed, then did as he requested.
He knew her face. He’d seen it hundreds of times. But he would never get tired of seeing her and touching her. Only her, he thought. He would take the chance with her, because he didn’t have a choice. Without her, he was only half-alive.
“I offered you a marriage of convenience,” he began. “Because I wasn’t willing to get involved again. My first marriage ended badly. I’d made a mistake and I didn’t know where I’d gone wrong. Rather than figure that out, I decided to never take the chance again.”
Her fingers were warm against his. He felt her faint trembling. While he wanted to reassure her, he knew he had to tell her the truth, first.
“What Caro did was wrong, but I don’t believe she meant to betray me. Her career mattered more than anything else. I’d known that, but I didn’t think through what that meant. I wanted a wife and a family. She said the right words, and I took them at face value because it gave me what was important to me. I think she knew I wouldn’t like hearing that she wanted to wait to start a family.”
He brought one of Pia’s hands to his mouth and kissed her palm.
“I moved here, thinking it would be easy,” he continued.
“Foolish man.”
“Tell me about it. It wasn’t easy, but it was where I belonged. This is home. But it’s an empty, cold place without you.” He stared into her eyes. “I love you, Pia O’Brian. I was too stubborn and scared to admit it until now, but I love you. Please marry me. Not because it’s convenient, but because we can’t imagine life without each other.”
Hope brightened her face. Her lips curved into a smile.
Everything inside of him relaxed. She still cared. They could be together. Except…
“But it won’t just be us,” he told her. “You, me and the twins. There’s also Peter. I can’t leave him in the group home. I want to talk to Mrs. Dawson about adopting him.”
She bit her lower lip. “And if I say no to that?”
He tensed again, feeling the fist hit his gut. “We’re a package deal.”
Everything he’d ever wanted and needed hung on what she would say next. He wanted to tell her that he would take care of her forever. That he would always love her and their children. But he couldn’t bribe her into accepting. They both had to follow their hearts.
“Right answer,” she whispered. “And yes.”
Happiness exploded inside of him. He hauled her against him and kissed her with all the love and passion he had. Behind them he heard something that sounded like both cheering and sniffing. After a few seconds, he raised his head and glanced over his shoulder.
The women he’d met on the street all stood there, joined by the mayor and Mrs. Dawson.
“I’m so happy,” the social worker said, dabbing at her eyes. “You were cleared as an emergency foster parent when Peter went to stay with you the first time. You can go get him now.”
The other women nodded. Marsha smiled. “I knew you had it in you.”
“You didn’t say that earlier.”
“It wouldn’t have helped.”
Note to self, he thought, kissing Pia again. Do not get on the mayor’s bad side.
Pia wrapped her arms around Raoul’s neck and leaned against him. She’d hoped, prayed and done her best to believe it would all work out, but she’d also been scared. Scared that she would spend the rest of her life loving a man who wouldn’t love her back. It was nice to be wrong.
He kissed her again. Her insides started that melty thing, which was also very nice.
“We’ve got a lot to do,” he said, his forehead resting against hers. “Approve the house plans, get married, start birthing classes.”
She laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m really good at details. Right now there’s only one thing that matters.”
He nodded. “Peter.”
“Yes. He should be home from school by now. Let’s go tell him the good news.”
Raoul hesitated. “You’re sure about this? We’ll have three kids.”
“I’m sure.”
There were other considerations. Like the fact that being a mom to newborn twins and Peter probably meant she was going to need an assistant to help her with all the festivals. And that until their new house was built, things were going to be a little crowded in the rental. And that they should get married right away so she could move in with Raoul and Peter. But those were for later. Now they were off to make a little boy’s dreams come true.
PETER SAT ON THE NARROW bed he’d been assigned. This was the same group home he’d been in before, but the kids were different. Not so mean. No one teased him about crying himself to sleep every night.
