Fire Me Up
Page 76
I struggled to crawl over him, but he shoved me back, slamming the car door. "Drake! Goddamn it, you can't do this! Stop! Istvan, stop!"
The car swept off with a subdued purr. I looked back at the hotel, cursing under my breath, uniformly damning headstrong dragons, bossy committee members, and murderous incubi. Drake's jaw was tight, his fingers clenched with tension, his eyes burning with a light that I'd never seen before.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself that he had just as much at stake as I did, and therefore I would respect the urgency he felt. "I know how important this is to you. I understand and accept that you want me by your side. I know that as your mate, it is my duty to be there, supporting you. But there are bound to be times when I just can't be with you, and this is one of them. This is important."
"No," he snapped, his eyes brittle with heat. "You do not understand. I have allowed you to pursue your interests because they did not interfere with mine, but that is at an end. You are my mate. My sept is your first priority. All else is secondary."
My jaw dropped for a second, then snapped shut with an audible clink of my teeth. I shoved Drake back from where he'd leaned over to snarl at me, my anger thoroughly roused. "Secondary? My career is secondary?"
"Your career is being my mate."
"Wrong!" I yelled, flinging off the possessive hand he wrapped around my wrist. "My career is being a Guardian. You agreed to that when I accepted the fact that I was your mate."
"I never agreed to such a ridiculous thing," he yelled back at me. I was a little shocked—Drake never yelled— but I didn't have the time to mull over what that meant.
"You did, too! That night in my dream, the night we spoke the oath—I agreed to be your mate, and you agreed to me being a Guardian."
His eyes were so bright it almost hurt to look at them, but his voice dropped, to. a low, angry tone. "You asked that I, and I quote, 'make no more snarky comments' about you being a Guardian. Further, you asked that I not say or do anything to ruin your chance with a potential mentor. I promised never to say anything to a mentor that could be interpreted as being against your plans. That is all you asked of me, Aisling. And I have fulfilled those terms wholly and completely."
I stared at him, too stunned, too filled with pain to comprehend what he was saying. "We swore an oath to each other," I whispered at last.
"Yes." His face was as hard as the edge to his voice. "You swore to uphold the well-being of the sept. I swore to protect, honor, and respect you."
He was a stranger. That wasn't Drake sitting there speaking in that cold voice. It had to be a stranger. Those were the thoughts that went around and around in my head with sickening regularity. "You knew how much I wanted this. You knew how important it was to me. You knew I was committed to being a Guardian. You agreed not to stop me."
"I agreed not to say anything to a potential mentor. I haven't. By no stretch of the imagination does that mean I endorse you being a Guardian. I never have, nor have I made secret my feelings."
I thought back to that night, to that dream, when I was so happy because Drake said he was willing to negotiate with me. The conversation we had repeated in my head, and again I heard his voice agreeing to something less than what I had intended.
He had betrayed me. He had fooled me into thinking he was agreeing to my terms, when all along he was using me for his own purpose.
A little voice in my head pointed out that if I had been less lust-crazed, I might have noticed the difference in what I was saying and what he said. I acknowledged that as true. I acknowledged my own responsibility with the situation. I had sworn an oath to Drake and his sept.
But he had betrayed me.
My eyes sought his. They were cold, like green ice, and within them I could see the depth of his determination, his resolve, and his intent. He was fighting for the life of his clan, fighting against almost impossible odds to form a peace not for his own good, not for selfish reasons, but for the good of all people, dragon-born and mortal. I understood what he was doing. I understood why he did what he did.
But he had betrayed me, and I could not forgive that.
I closed my eyes on the tears that welled out from between my lashes and pulled hard on his fire, allowing it to fill me, consume me, burn every last tear inside me until it burst forth with a roar of anguish that filled the night sky— and that set fire to the limousine.
Istvan slammed to a stop in the middle of a street, Pal already dragging Jim from the car. Drake swore and kicked open the door, yelling, "You foolish woman! You'll set the gas tank alight! This close to other cars you'll kill who knows how many people!"
I didn't wait for him to drag me out. I threw myself out the other side of the car, yelling an order to Jim as I ran along the median, dashing between cars, bouncing off a sedan to fall onto the pavement on the other side of the road, tears streaming down my face as I ignored the sound of Drake shouting after me. I knew him. He might be a thief, he might be a liar, he might be the sort of man who would betray the woman who loved him if he felt the reason was good enough, but he would not willingly walk away and allow innocent people to die.
"Fires of Abaddon, Aisling!" Jim panted as it reached my side. It took one look at my face and shut up, following me as I ran down streets, cutting through markets, dashing in front of cars, racing around corners until I had no idea where I was or where I'd come from.
At least I had lost Drake.
My heart, frozen in a block of disbelief, shattered at the realization that I had, indeed, lost Drake. I fell to my knees right there in the middle of the street, sobbing with the realization of what had happened. I had given Drake everything, I had sworn my allegiance to him, I had agreed to become his mate, I had fallen in love with the damned scaly lizard, and he betrayed me.
Tires squealed on asphalt as a car slammed to a stop a few inches away from me, the driver's swearing audible even over the hum of the engine.
"Ash?"
Jim's voice was unusually gentle.
"Ash, come on. You're in the street. I know you don't care about getting run over, but you're immortal now, and if one of these cars hits you and you crumple the bumper, you're going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do."
"Aisling." Another voice spoke.
What was I going to do now? How was I supposed to fix things? Dammit, why was everything my responsibility? Why was I the only one who could make things right? Drake had betrayed me, but wasn't I guilty of the same thing by refusing him? It felt in my heart like betrayal, but I just couldn't see any other way out of the situation. There was more at stake here than just Drake and me—there was my promise to find the murderer before he killed another innocent Guardian. The dragon sept had my fealty, but how could I live with myself if the murderer struck again because I had been so busy with the dragons that I hadn't the time to stop him?
The car swept off with a subdued purr. I looked back at the hotel, cursing under my breath, uniformly damning headstrong dragons, bossy committee members, and murderous incubi. Drake's jaw was tight, his fingers clenched with tension, his eyes burning with a light that I'd never seen before.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself that he had just as much at stake as I did, and therefore I would respect the urgency he felt. "I know how important this is to you. I understand and accept that you want me by your side. I know that as your mate, it is my duty to be there, supporting you. But there are bound to be times when I just can't be with you, and this is one of them. This is important."
"No," he snapped, his eyes brittle with heat. "You do not understand. I have allowed you to pursue your interests because they did not interfere with mine, but that is at an end. You are my mate. My sept is your first priority. All else is secondary."
My jaw dropped for a second, then snapped shut with an audible clink of my teeth. I shoved Drake back from where he'd leaned over to snarl at me, my anger thoroughly roused. "Secondary? My career is secondary?"
"Your career is being my mate."
"Wrong!" I yelled, flinging off the possessive hand he wrapped around my wrist. "My career is being a Guardian. You agreed to that when I accepted the fact that I was your mate."
"I never agreed to such a ridiculous thing," he yelled back at me. I was a little shocked—Drake never yelled— but I didn't have the time to mull over what that meant.
"You did, too! That night in my dream, the night we spoke the oath—I agreed to be your mate, and you agreed to me being a Guardian."
His eyes were so bright it almost hurt to look at them, but his voice dropped, to. a low, angry tone. "You asked that I, and I quote, 'make no more snarky comments' about you being a Guardian. Further, you asked that I not say or do anything to ruin your chance with a potential mentor. I promised never to say anything to a mentor that could be interpreted as being against your plans. That is all you asked of me, Aisling. And I have fulfilled those terms wholly and completely."
I stared at him, too stunned, too filled with pain to comprehend what he was saying. "We swore an oath to each other," I whispered at last.
"Yes." His face was as hard as the edge to his voice. "You swore to uphold the well-being of the sept. I swore to protect, honor, and respect you."
He was a stranger. That wasn't Drake sitting there speaking in that cold voice. It had to be a stranger. Those were the thoughts that went around and around in my head with sickening regularity. "You knew how much I wanted this. You knew how important it was to me. You knew I was committed to being a Guardian. You agreed not to stop me."
"I agreed not to say anything to a potential mentor. I haven't. By no stretch of the imagination does that mean I endorse you being a Guardian. I never have, nor have I made secret my feelings."
I thought back to that night, to that dream, when I was so happy because Drake said he was willing to negotiate with me. The conversation we had repeated in my head, and again I heard his voice agreeing to something less than what I had intended.
He had betrayed me. He had fooled me into thinking he was agreeing to my terms, when all along he was using me for his own purpose.
A little voice in my head pointed out that if I had been less lust-crazed, I might have noticed the difference in what I was saying and what he said. I acknowledged that as true. I acknowledged my own responsibility with the situation. I had sworn an oath to Drake and his sept.
But he had betrayed me.
My eyes sought his. They were cold, like green ice, and within them I could see the depth of his determination, his resolve, and his intent. He was fighting for the life of his clan, fighting against almost impossible odds to form a peace not for his own good, not for selfish reasons, but for the good of all people, dragon-born and mortal. I understood what he was doing. I understood why he did what he did.
But he had betrayed me, and I could not forgive that.
I closed my eyes on the tears that welled out from between my lashes and pulled hard on his fire, allowing it to fill me, consume me, burn every last tear inside me until it burst forth with a roar of anguish that filled the night sky— and that set fire to the limousine.
Istvan slammed to a stop in the middle of a street, Pal already dragging Jim from the car. Drake swore and kicked open the door, yelling, "You foolish woman! You'll set the gas tank alight! This close to other cars you'll kill who knows how many people!"
I didn't wait for him to drag me out. I threw myself out the other side of the car, yelling an order to Jim as I ran along the median, dashing between cars, bouncing off a sedan to fall onto the pavement on the other side of the road, tears streaming down my face as I ignored the sound of Drake shouting after me. I knew him. He might be a thief, he might be a liar, he might be the sort of man who would betray the woman who loved him if he felt the reason was good enough, but he would not willingly walk away and allow innocent people to die.
"Fires of Abaddon, Aisling!" Jim panted as it reached my side. It took one look at my face and shut up, following me as I ran down streets, cutting through markets, dashing in front of cars, racing around corners until I had no idea where I was or where I'd come from.
At least I had lost Drake.
My heart, frozen in a block of disbelief, shattered at the realization that I had, indeed, lost Drake. I fell to my knees right there in the middle of the street, sobbing with the realization of what had happened. I had given Drake everything, I had sworn my allegiance to him, I had agreed to become his mate, I had fallen in love with the damned scaly lizard, and he betrayed me.
Tires squealed on asphalt as a car slammed to a stop a few inches away from me, the driver's swearing audible even over the hum of the engine.
"Ash?"
Jim's voice was unusually gentle.
"Ash, come on. You're in the street. I know you don't care about getting run over, but you're immortal now, and if one of these cars hits you and you crumple the bumper, you're going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do."
"Aisling." Another voice spoke.
What was I going to do now? How was I supposed to fix things? Dammit, why was everything my responsibility? Why was I the only one who could make things right? Drake had betrayed me, but wasn't I guilty of the same thing by refusing him? It felt in my heart like betrayal, but I just couldn't see any other way out of the situation. There was more at stake here than just Drake and me—there was my promise to find the murderer before he killed another innocent Guardian. The dragon sept had my fealty, but how could I live with myself if the murderer struck again because I had been so busy with the dragons that I hadn't the time to stop him?
