Firstlife
Page 39
“Ten... Ten...”
A whimper at my right. I turn my head and see Sloan, and I almost lose my breakfast. She’s hanging over the same cliff, and like Clay, she’s white-knuckling a tree branch with every bit of strength she possesses.
“Pleeease. Help me.”
My panic returns with a vengeance. I won’t be able to pull them up at the same time. They’re simply too heavy. I have to pick one and pray the other holds on just a little longer.
Another hated choice. A sob lodges in my throat, constricting my airway.
I love Clay. We’ve laughed together, and we’ve cried together. He’s kind, honest and, as he just proved today, willing to help when needed. I can picture him at my seaside home, surfing alongside me.
Sloan, on the other hand, has been a thorn in my side for a little over a year. She’s a pain in every sense of the word. She’s irritating and combative, and I can’t imagine ever trusting her at my back.
But Clay now knows where he’s going when he dies. Sloan will wind up in Many Ends.
“I’m so sorry, Clay. I’ll pull you up next, okay? Just hang on. Hang on!” I release his rope, hating myself, and grip Sloan’s with both hands. As my feet slip, I look around—everywhere but at Clay. There are no boulders or rooted trees within reach, which means I can’t anchor myself. Okay. All right. Can’t be helped.
“Ten,” she cries.
“Let go of the branch,” I shout at her. “Please.”
“No, no—”
“Do it! I can’t pull you up if you’re clasping the tree.” A tree that is teetering. “Sloan! I’ve got you, promise. Just let go!”
“I can’t,” she says as she weeps.
“You must. Help me help you.”
She only weeps harder.
Rage joins my deluge of emotions. “At the count of three, I’m helping Clay. One. Two.”
She lets go, giving me the full brunt of her weight. My feet slip closer to the edge, leaving me unable to balance. I crash to my butt and slide faster. A terrified yelp escapes her.
Come on, come on. I dig my boots as deep into the snow and ice as I can, managing to stop my momentum and pull with all my might. I gain an inch...then another...she can’t weigh more than one hundred and twenty pounds, but my shoulders burn and shake as if they’re lugging a couple of tons. Muscles I didn’t know I had spasm.
Survival instinct demands I release her and save myself, but I just keeping pulling...pulling...
Just a little farther...
So close to assisting Clay...
When the tops of her hands reached the edge of the cliff, I grit out, “Grab the side and climb up.”
As soon as her grip is steadyish, she kicks up a leg. A few seconds later—an eternity—the top of her body clears the side.
“Hurry! Please.” Mist dances in front of my face as I pant, and tears well in my eyes. I glance at Clay as snow topples over the cliff edge. He is desperately trying to inch his way along the tree trunk—a tree trunk that teeters a little more with his every action.
“Ten.” Clay’s panic is worse than mine. “Please.”
“Sloan,” I plead. “Come on!”
Her arms shake and strain as she claws the rest of the way, finally safe. Thank the Firstking! I release her rope and reach for Clay’s, the movement sending another mound of snow over the edge. He’s close enough now that it hits him right in the face...and it’s strong enough to knock him loose.
“No!” I dive down, my arm extended. I’ll catch him, I have to catch him, but something latches on my ankles, keeping me from going over the edge as I encounter air, only air. “Clay!”
He shrieks as he falls...falls...and the sound rips me up inside, but it’s better than the terrible silence that comes next. No. No, no, no. He’s not—he can’t be—but I see him. He landed on another plateau, and he’s unmoving, a crimson pool growing around his oddly contorted body.
Horror overwhelms me. I just found him, and now he’s gone?
Sloan pulls me up. “We can’t stay here. It’s not safe.” She bands her arm around me, forcing me to stand. “Move with me!”
Now she’s in a hurry? I fight to remain in place. I can’t leave Clay. I just...can’t.
From the time he lost his grip on the branch to the time he hit the bottom of the mountain—roughly eight seconds. If I’d had two more, if I’d let go of Sloan just a little sooner, I could have caught his hand.
Two. Seconds. That’s all I needed.
She slaps me across the face. “Ten!”
I taste the copper tang of blood, but I don’t care. He’s down there. My friend is down there. He deserves so much better.
“You listen to me.” She grips my shoulders and shakes me. “I’ll drag you kicking and screaming if I must, but we’re leaving. You saved my life. Now I’m saving yours.”
I saved her, but I didn’t save Clay. There’s nothing I can do to bring him back. But her words have the desired effect. Finally I allow her to lead me away. Dead, I’m no good to Clay.
“We’re going to be okay,” she says through chattering teeth. “After what you did for me, I’m basically your bitch for life. I’ll get you out of here even if I have to sleep with a bunch of sexy guys to do it. I know, I know. I’m a giver.”
As I go numb, I lose track of time. I know we descend the mountain. I know Archer joins us when we stop to rest, but not Killian. Archer explains we’re hidden from the ML, but I don’t respond. I don’t care. I know we stop a second time so Sloan and I can eat, but I don’t know where we are or what I put in my stomach.
“—going to be okay?” Sloan asks.
“She’s strong,” Archer replies.
Strong? Me? I’m not. I’m the weak link. I let my friend die—but I’m not the only one to blame.
Flames of wrath spark, melting some of the numbness.
“You didn’t save Clay.” I shake my head, blink and meet Archer’s copper gaze head-on. Melting... “You promised to be there for him, to be his family, his brother, to help him when he needed you. Well, he needed you!”
Archer flinches. His Shell is damaged, but nothing like before, the flesh—or whatever it is—once again in the process of weaving back together. “I can do a lot of things, Ten, but I can’t be everywhere at once, and I can’t override free will.”
Melting...gone! “Are you saying Clay chose to die? I assure you, he didn’t. He begged me to save him.” He begged me, and I failed him. My tears return, my chin trembling.
“He begged you, but didn’t ask me.”
I’m about to punch him when he adds, “I’m saying this is my fault, not the fault of my realm. I was told Killian neared, and I wasn’t to engage. I disobeyed, and my new brother died because of it. I’m saying I chose to engage my enemy rather than call for reinforcements, a fact that will haunt me for the rest of my days. A mistake I’ll never make again. I’m saying you had two options, and you did the right thing.”
“I let my friend die,” I say slowly, softly. “That will never be the right thing.”
“He’s not in any pain. He’s happy, preparing for his homecoming.”
A whimper at my right. I turn my head and see Sloan, and I almost lose my breakfast. She’s hanging over the same cliff, and like Clay, she’s white-knuckling a tree branch with every bit of strength she possesses.
“Pleeease. Help me.”
My panic returns with a vengeance. I won’t be able to pull them up at the same time. They’re simply too heavy. I have to pick one and pray the other holds on just a little longer.
Another hated choice. A sob lodges in my throat, constricting my airway.
I love Clay. We’ve laughed together, and we’ve cried together. He’s kind, honest and, as he just proved today, willing to help when needed. I can picture him at my seaside home, surfing alongside me.
Sloan, on the other hand, has been a thorn in my side for a little over a year. She’s a pain in every sense of the word. She’s irritating and combative, and I can’t imagine ever trusting her at my back.
But Clay now knows where he’s going when he dies. Sloan will wind up in Many Ends.
“I’m so sorry, Clay. I’ll pull you up next, okay? Just hang on. Hang on!” I release his rope, hating myself, and grip Sloan’s with both hands. As my feet slip, I look around—everywhere but at Clay. There are no boulders or rooted trees within reach, which means I can’t anchor myself. Okay. All right. Can’t be helped.
“Ten,” she cries.
“Let go of the branch,” I shout at her. “Please.”
“No, no—”
“Do it! I can’t pull you up if you’re clasping the tree.” A tree that is teetering. “Sloan! I’ve got you, promise. Just let go!”
“I can’t,” she says as she weeps.
“You must. Help me help you.”
She only weeps harder.
Rage joins my deluge of emotions. “At the count of three, I’m helping Clay. One. Two.”
She lets go, giving me the full brunt of her weight. My feet slip closer to the edge, leaving me unable to balance. I crash to my butt and slide faster. A terrified yelp escapes her.
Come on, come on. I dig my boots as deep into the snow and ice as I can, managing to stop my momentum and pull with all my might. I gain an inch...then another...she can’t weigh more than one hundred and twenty pounds, but my shoulders burn and shake as if they’re lugging a couple of tons. Muscles I didn’t know I had spasm.
Survival instinct demands I release her and save myself, but I just keeping pulling...pulling...
Just a little farther...
So close to assisting Clay...
When the tops of her hands reached the edge of the cliff, I grit out, “Grab the side and climb up.”
As soon as her grip is steadyish, she kicks up a leg. A few seconds later—an eternity—the top of her body clears the side.
“Hurry! Please.” Mist dances in front of my face as I pant, and tears well in my eyes. I glance at Clay as snow topples over the cliff edge. He is desperately trying to inch his way along the tree trunk—a tree trunk that teeters a little more with his every action.
“Ten.” Clay’s panic is worse than mine. “Please.”
“Sloan,” I plead. “Come on!”
Her arms shake and strain as she claws the rest of the way, finally safe. Thank the Firstking! I release her rope and reach for Clay’s, the movement sending another mound of snow over the edge. He’s close enough now that it hits him right in the face...and it’s strong enough to knock him loose.
“No!” I dive down, my arm extended. I’ll catch him, I have to catch him, but something latches on my ankles, keeping me from going over the edge as I encounter air, only air. “Clay!”
He shrieks as he falls...falls...and the sound rips me up inside, but it’s better than the terrible silence that comes next. No. No, no, no. He’s not—he can’t be—but I see him. He landed on another plateau, and he’s unmoving, a crimson pool growing around his oddly contorted body.
Horror overwhelms me. I just found him, and now he’s gone?
Sloan pulls me up. “We can’t stay here. It’s not safe.” She bands her arm around me, forcing me to stand. “Move with me!”
Now she’s in a hurry? I fight to remain in place. I can’t leave Clay. I just...can’t.
From the time he lost his grip on the branch to the time he hit the bottom of the mountain—roughly eight seconds. If I’d had two more, if I’d let go of Sloan just a little sooner, I could have caught his hand.
Two. Seconds. That’s all I needed.
She slaps me across the face. “Ten!”
I taste the copper tang of blood, but I don’t care. He’s down there. My friend is down there. He deserves so much better.
“You listen to me.” She grips my shoulders and shakes me. “I’ll drag you kicking and screaming if I must, but we’re leaving. You saved my life. Now I’m saving yours.”
I saved her, but I didn’t save Clay. There’s nothing I can do to bring him back. But her words have the desired effect. Finally I allow her to lead me away. Dead, I’m no good to Clay.
“We’re going to be okay,” she says through chattering teeth. “After what you did for me, I’m basically your bitch for life. I’ll get you out of here even if I have to sleep with a bunch of sexy guys to do it. I know, I know. I’m a giver.”
As I go numb, I lose track of time. I know we descend the mountain. I know Archer joins us when we stop to rest, but not Killian. Archer explains we’re hidden from the ML, but I don’t respond. I don’t care. I know we stop a second time so Sloan and I can eat, but I don’t know where we are or what I put in my stomach.
“—going to be okay?” Sloan asks.
“She’s strong,” Archer replies.
Strong? Me? I’m not. I’m the weak link. I let my friend die—but I’m not the only one to blame.
Flames of wrath spark, melting some of the numbness.
“You didn’t save Clay.” I shake my head, blink and meet Archer’s copper gaze head-on. Melting... “You promised to be there for him, to be his family, his brother, to help him when he needed you. Well, he needed you!”
Archer flinches. His Shell is damaged, but nothing like before, the flesh—or whatever it is—once again in the process of weaving back together. “I can do a lot of things, Ten, but I can’t be everywhere at once, and I can’t override free will.”
Melting...gone! “Are you saying Clay chose to die? I assure you, he didn’t. He begged me to save him.” He begged me, and I failed him. My tears return, my chin trembling.
“He begged you, but didn’t ask me.”
I’m about to punch him when he adds, “I’m saying this is my fault, not the fault of my realm. I was told Killian neared, and I wasn’t to engage. I disobeyed, and my new brother died because of it. I’m saying I chose to engage my enemy rather than call for reinforcements, a fact that will haunt me for the rest of my days. A mistake I’ll never make again. I’m saying you had two options, and you did the right thing.”
“I let my friend die,” I say slowly, softly. “That will never be the right thing.”
“He’s not in any pain. He’s happy, preparing for his homecoming.”
